WOOTS! My 30th fic posted up on this site! Ahaha, well, I still have unfinished currently on hiatus fics but whatever! This is, of course, ShinnxLuna. Anyway, I wrote this while listening to the song Monster by Super Junior (you can clearly tell) so I apologize for the slightly dark theme this fic is taking. Well, okay then. Enjoy! P.S. This is actually a drabble, I mean, it's so short!
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN IT. Sadly...
Shinn Asuka stared at the droplets of rain rolling off his window. They seemed to mirror the crystal-clear tears running down his face. Placing his cheek against the cool window, the teenage war vet started counting – counting the raindrops, or was he counting his own tears? Really, he didn't know anymore.
Every single day for the past weeks, or was it months, Shinn would find his way to his window to mourn. Mourn what? He didn't know that either. The ability to think coherently seemed to have left him as soon as she did. Well, to be fair to her, she didn't want to leave. He drove her away.
With his words, his actions. Even though his insides were screaming at him to grab her and never let go. No one knew but him. He was a monster. He wasn't sure when it happened. He just woke up one day and found that his world was in darkness.
And his eyes. They glowed with hatred whenever he went out on battle. He knew how much it scared her, and yet she loved him enough to stay by his side, to be the one squeezing his hand and telling him it was okay even when he took everything away from her.
Everything.
He remembers one memory distinctly above the rest. He couldn't face her, not with all the guilt weighing down on him.
"I took everything from you," he had cried softly.
And he felt her arms wrap around him from behind. The back of his uniform became moist – with her tears. Still, she laughed.
"Silly boy, you are my everything."
It had always been like that. She shouldered the blame for everything, even things that had nothing to do with her. And when Shinn tried to do the same and ended up getting hurt, she would take the blame for that as well.
Shinn had watched silently when she got up in the middle of the night and went to the lounge to cry. She wept bitter tears for the sister she had lost. The very one that Shinn had taken away. He was disgusted with himself for doing nothing.
For not being strong enough to offer her the support she had offered him.
For being such a monster.
1000.
A thousand tears.
He laughed bitterly.
That was not nearly a good enough representation of his pain. No, he did not feel any aching pain inside his chest. What he felt was much, much worse – emptiness. A sinking feeling, slowly taking over his body.
And just like that, he was gone.
No more Shinn Asuka.
An empty shell, a monster.
His eyes slowly slid shut. The small bottle of pills dropped from his grasp, spilling out noisily on the floor, along with a small piece of paper. Shinn's handwriting was scribbled on it. Seven letters, all in bold.
MONSTER.
Told you it was obvious I was listening to that song! I said 'monster' what, four times? Plus the 'just like that'line totally gives it away. Haha, I don't know whether you peeps reading this will mind, but it kinda bothers me. So if it bothers you, PLEASE do not tell me. I'm OCD when it comes to my fics so, yeah, don't turn me into a monster, kays? REVIEW! :D
[EDIT]: Thanks to gagboy for pointing out that 'monster' has seven letters, not eight.