Quest For Pizza
"Are we there yet, Mr. Mario? My legs are killing me." Dark Pit complained as he, Mario, and Pit were walking up a mountain trail.
"Not yet, Mr. Dark Pit. We still got a couple miles to go."
"Hey Pittoo, did you see that?" Pit asked, pointing to the forest area down below.
"No, I did not nor do I care." Dark Pit groaned. "Remind me again why we're going to Caveman Land in the first place?"
"We have to find Muggers the Medicine Woman in order to fix the damage you've done to Smashville."
"I blame Pit-stain for blowing up the city."
"Well, it's your fault you gave him that exploding pie." Mario retorted. The three of them continued walking, but little did they know that they were being watched.
Mewtwo laughed. "Those fools think they can trespass on my property. Well, not on my watch they don't."
Pit suddenly stopped walking when he heard what sounded like stomping. "Hey Pittoo, did you hear something?"
"Hear what?"
"I don't know, but it sounds like something's following us."
"It's probably just your imagination Pit-stain, now get your hands off me."
Suddenly, the stomping started to get louder and louder. Pit started to feel a little uneasy.
"Pittoo, I think there's something right behind us!"
"Pit-stain, if you put your hands on me again I'm going to-" Dark Pit's threat came to a halt as he looked behind him.
"Hey boys, what's going on back there?" Mario asked.
"M-M-Monster!" Pit stammered.
"What kind of nonsense are you-" Mario stopped in his tracks as turned around. Standing right behind them was a giant mouse-like dinosaur.
"What is that thing, Mr. Mario?"
"It's a Mousersaurus."
"What are we gonna do?" Dark Pit asked.
"The only thing we can do. RUN!" In no time flat, the three of them took off running for their lives. The Mousersaurus roared and began to chase after the three.
"C'mon, boys! Let's quickly find a way to safety!"
"Oh, no you don't!" A familiar voice shouted as a familiar figure appeared right in front of them.
Mario gasped. "Mewtwo!"
"That's right, Mario. When I'm done getting rid of you fools, I'm going to restore Smashville and the Smash Burger formula will be mine!"
"I'll never let you steal the formula, Mewtwo!"
"What will it be, Mario? Mousersaurus or Pterodactyl? Take your pick."
"What are we gonna do, Mr. Mario?" Pit asked.
"On the count of three, we'll run in the open direction." Mario whispered as the two angels nodded.
"Well Mario, have you made your choice?"
"Yes, and I choose RUN FOR IT, BOYS!" Mario shouted, and in an instant he, Pit, and Dark Pit took off running.
"You can run, but you can't hide." Mewtwo laughed, and then summoned a red, poisonous snake to chase after the three.
Meanwhile, Mario, Pit, and Dark Pit continued running as fast as their legs would allow them.
"Is Mewtwo catching up to us?" Pit asked.
"I don't know, lad. Just keep running." Mario then turned and saw that Dark Pit was lagging behind. "C'mon Mr. Dark Pit, get those legs moving!"
"I'm going as fast as I can!" Then Dark Pit suddenly tripped on a stick, and fell to the ground. Mario and Pit stopped running and stared. "Well, don't just stand there! Help me!"
"C'mon boys, we gotta get outta here!" The three started to run again, but before they could get very far, the snake came and bit Mario right in the leg, causing him to collapse to the ground.
"Oh, no! Mr. Mario!" Pit gasped. He rushed over to him, only to see that he was completely unresponsive. "What are we gonna do, Pittoo?"
"We'll worry about Mr. Mario later, let's just get outta here!"
"Not so fast! You're not going anywhere!"
"Mewtwo!" Pit gasped. He quickly looked around to see that they were cornered. "What did you do to Mr. Mario?!"
"Well, I'd like to stay and chat, but now is the time for you to perish. Any last words?"
"Pittoo, I'd just like to say...I'm sorry for being an annoyance to you!" Pit sobbed.
"And I'm sorry for being such a jerk to you on Employee Brotherhood Day!"
Suddenly, out of nowhere, they heard someone shout, and the two angels looked up to see a caveman swinging in on a vine.
"Hey look, Pittoo! Someone's saving us!"
The caveman swooped in and grabbed the three away from the danger. They then landed in front of a waterfall and the caveman pointed to it, speaking in his own language.
"What's he saying?" Pit asked.
"How should I know? I don't speak caveman."
The caveman continued to point at the waterfall, grunting in slight irritation.
"I think he's telling us to go behind the waterfall." Pit said.
"What?! Are you crazy?! There's no way I'm going to jump into a waterfall!"
"Pittoo, you've got to trust me. This guy's trying to get us out of danger."
The two continued to argue about whether they should go into the waterfall or not. The caveman eventually grew impatient with the two and simply pushed them into the waterfall. They both screamed as they fell into a hidden city behind the waterfall.
"Where are we?" Dark Pit asked as he slowly lifted his head up.
Pit slowly looked up and saw a woman standing over them. "Who are you?"
"I am Muggers." The woman answered.
"Hey, you're the medicine lady we were looking for!" Pit cheered, but his smile faded when he saw the unconcious Mario. "Can you help us with Mr. Mario?"
"Ugh. It is him." Muggers muttered in both shock and disgust.
"What do you mean?" Pit asked. Muggers didn't answer and simply moved to the side to show them a hieroglyphic of a man that looked a lot like Mario.
"Oh, that's just great. This can't possibly just be some coincidence." Dark Pit rolled his eyes.
"C'mon, Mr. Mario. please wake up. I've got your favorite pepperoni cheesecake." Pit tried giving Mario the cheesecake, but it didn't work. "Uhh...that's okay, Mr. Mario. How about some money?" He tried giving the money, but nothing happened either. "Nothing's working. Oh Mr. Mario, I'm sorry." Pit said sadly as tears formed in his eyes. "How could I let this happen to you?"
Muggers walked over to Pit and tried to comfort him. "There there, little angel. You might be able to revive him if you had some...pizza."
That last word immediately made Pit brighten up. "Pizza?" Muggers then moved over to show him the rest of the hieroglyphic showing him giving Mario pizza. "Pizza! That's it! That's the cure!"
"There's a prophecy about you giving Mr. Mario a pizza? You can't be serious." Dark Pit groaned.
"Well, what are we waiting for?! Let's go and order a pizza!"
"Pit-stain, there are no pizza places in Caveman Land, genius." Dark Pit reminded.
"Oh. Well then I guess we're just going to have to make one! Do you know what this means, Pittoo?"
"I don't wanna know."
"We're going on a quest for pizza!" Pit announced. "C'mon, Pittoo!"
"And...you told me." Dark Pit groaned as dragged him out of the cave.
"C'mon Pittoo, help me carry this ladder." Pit said as he and Dark Pit were heading up a mountain.
"Are we seriously doing this?"
"C'mon Pittoo, we're going on a quest to make a pizza to save Mr. Mario."
"Pit-stain, do you remember what happened the last time we had to deal with pizza?" Dark Pit asked.
"Oh, yeah! The Super Smash pizza, is the pizza, for you and-" Pit sang, before Dark Pit slapped his hand over his mouth.
"Please don't sing that song again."
"Look! I see the Cowazaurus!" Pit exclaimed as he pointed to a cow-like dinosaur.
"A dinosaur cow. How wonderful." Dark Pit muttered sarcastically.
"Okay Pittoo, I'm going to climb up the ladder to get the milk we need for the cheese. You stay here and keep watch."
"Sounds great." Dark Pit muttered as he rolled his eyes.
"Okay, here I go." Pit started to climb up the ladder to reach the Cowazaurus. "So far, so good."
Suddenly, the Cowazaurus whipped its tail at the ladder right from under Pit's feet, causing him to fall and grab onto an udder. The milk that they needed squirted into a bucket that was randomly placed thanks to plot convenience. The Cowazaurus then noticed Pit and started rubbing its muzzle affectionately against him.
"Hey, Pittoo! I think the Cowazaurus likes me!"
"What do you mean it-" Dark Pit looked up and saw that the Cowazaurus was completely in love with Pit. "Okay, that's just wrong on so many levels."
"Um...Pittoo? I don't think this Cowazaurus will let me go."
"Oh, for the love of Pete." Dark Pit groaned. He climbed up a tree and swung from a vine, grabbing Pit from the clutches of the Cowazaurus.
"Thanks, Pittoo."
"That's the last time I'm saving your butt."
"Now we just need a few more items for the pizza. Let's go, Pittoo!"
The two angels continued walking through Caveman Land until they came across a large tree.
"Hey Pittoo, do you think ground acorns would go great with pizza?" Pit wondered.
"Pit-stain, nobody puts acorns on pizza. Except for maybe squirrels." Dark Pit then looked up and saw that Pit was in the tree gathering the acorns. "Pit-stain, what are you doing?"
"I'm getting some acorns for the pizza."
"Oh, great. This story just keeps getting more idiotic." Dark Pit groaned.
Pit continued to take a few of the acorns as a prehistoric squirrel approached him. "Oh, hi there, Mr. Squirrel. I was just borrowing some of your for a pizza that we need to make." The rodent then growled at Pit. "Nice squirrel, I'm just gonna take a few of your-" Pit realized that the squirrel was far from friendly. "Pittoo, run!"
"What did you do?"
"I was just gonna borrow some of his acorns!" Pit yelled as they ran from the colossal rodent. "You know what? How about we just forget the acorns. All we really need is tomatoes for the pizza sauce. That shouldn't be too hard."
"Maybe it isn't, but I just know that you're gonna make it hard."
"Great. C'mon Pittoo, we don't have time to loose!"
The two angels walked until they reached a tomato patch. "Hey look, Pittoo! There's the tomatoes we need!"
"Great. Now let's just get the tomatoes and get outta here."
Pit nodded and the two proceeded to collect the tomatoes. "There we go. C'mon, Pittoo. Let's take these ingredients back to the waterfall."
"Yeah, let's go. And let's not take the idiot route this time." Dark Pit muttered as the two of them walked away. Little did they know that they were being followed.
"What's this? Looks like those angelic fools left behind a trail for me to follow. Looks like your little hideout isn't a secret anymore." Mewtwo laughed.
"The pizza is almost done!" Pit announced as the pizza was being cooked over a fire.
"Pit-stain, that looks horrible." Dark Pit said as he looked at the admittedly mediocre pizza.
"Thank you, Pittoo."
"Yeah, I think you should stick to just making burgers." Dark Pit rolled his eyes.
As Pit continued to cook the pizza, Mewtwo, who had followed the trail of tomatoes that the angels had left behind, had discovered their secret hiding place.
"There they are! That's where they've been hiding this whole time! Mousersaurus, destroy that pizza!"
The Mousersaurus proceeded to grab a giant log and threw it at the waterfall.
Pit looked up when he heard what sounded like a bang coming from outside. "Hey Pittoo, did you hear that?"
"Hear what?"
Before they could figure out where the noise was coming from, a huge wave of water flooded throughout the entire hidden city, ruining both the pizza and the fire in the process.
"Say goodnight, Mario. Because it will now be your doom!" Mewtwo laughed.
Although most of the hidden city was now destroyed thanks to the flood, Pit and Dark Pit were somehow swept outside the city and outside where they were laying on the ground, completely wet from the water. "What just happened?" Dark Pit groaned as he slowly got up.
"What happened to the..." Pit looked and saw that the pizza was alright. "The pizza! It survived!" Pit cheered. "But it's not cooked! It can't be a pizza until it's cooked!"
Muggers, who was also swept away from the flood, used a char-covered stick from the ruined fire to draw a picture of a Fire Flower on the wall, alongside a picture of Mewtwo.
"A Fire Flower? Mewtwo has a Fire Flower?"
"Why would Mewtwo have a Fire Flower?" asked.
Pit thought for a moment, and then it came to him. "So, if we can get the Fire Flower then we can still save Mr. Mario! C'mon, Pittoo. Let's go get that Fire Flower!"
"Please tell me this is the last time we have to go and get something." Dark Pit groaned.
The two angels arrived at the giant castle that rested in the middle of Caveman Land, which was Mewtwo's base. Pit quickly noticed the Fire Flower standing on a pedestal in the middle of the corridor.
"Okay Pittoo, on the count of three, we'll go in there and get that Fire Flower."
"Are you sure about this, Pit-stain?"
"I'm sure, Pittoo. Now are you ready? We're going in three...two..."
"Stop right there!"
Pit turned around and gasped. "Mewtwo!"
"That's right. I knew you two fools were coming here."
"How did you know?" Pit asked.
"Because I'm psychic. Now get them, you minions!" Mewtwo commanded to his minions, which were tiny dinosaurs.
"Pittoo, we should start running now!"
"I'm with you!" The two quickly ran into the base in order to get the Fire Flower.
"Don't just stand there, you incompetent reptiles! Get them!"
The dinosaur minions chased after the two angels. Eventually, they were cornered by a whole hoard of them.
"Pittoo, what are we gonna do?"
Dark Pit then looked at the Fire Flower and grabbed it. "Alright, stay back or I'll shoot!"
"You wouldn't even." Mewtwo gasped.
"That's right, Mewtwo. Your time is up. Have a nice flight." Dark Pit said as a stream of fire shot out of the Fire Flower, sending him flying.
"I'll be back to get you!" Mewtwo shouted as he was launched into the air.
"We did it, Pittoo! We defeated Mewtwo!" Pit cheered.
"We? I'm the one who got rid of them here."
"We got the Fire Flower. We gotta hurry back to the waterfall before it's too late."
"The pizza is done! We can finally save Mr. Mario!"
Mario awoke to the smell of pizza and then ate the pizza. "What? You boys only brought me one pizza?"
"Yeah, we had to go on a completely ridiculous quest to go and make you one." Dark Pit muttered.
"Well, it looks like our hard work really paid off!" Pit said, and then everyone laughed except for Dark Pit. After a while, they stopped and looked at each other.
"So...what were we here for again?"