A warning at the beginning: after not having written a word for so long, I feel mighty rusty, and I suspect this to be highly OOC- but I'm thinking about scenarios like this constantly and can't help it, so I thought I might just as well write it down.
About Fischer: I don't like her. For me, she bungled a lot. She deceived Jane and let him get beaten up only to protect her cover, and she acted utterly cold when they met again in Austin. There's something wooden and incompetent about her, and she doesn't seem like someone I'd enjoy knowing more about. I think that she has no real foundation to be attracted to Jane besides charm and looks, and that's BY FAR not enough for me. Jane is a man who has killed, who has spent a decade hunting a monster, and Fischer never saw this side- Lisbon did. She fell in love with him not because Jane is a good-looking fella, but despite his flaws, despite his darkness, just with the man he really is. I don't know if Heller really plans to build some kind of love triangle here (and I hope to god he's not, because I would SO hate it!), but if he does, I think he's wrong. I don't see how Fischer could EVER be a rival to what Jane and Lisbon have, I think it's plain impossible, and I won't buy it. I also don't really get why Heller created a regular who's disliked that much… most viewers are not that keen on her out of different reasons, and her presence makes it damn hard for me to continue watching, because I'm always scared that Heller might try to forcefully construct something romantic between Jane and her, even if it doesn't HAVE to be like that. But I'm wary of her, very much so, not because I see any kind of chemistry (I DON'T), but because I don't know if Heller builds some strange thing here I totally would hate. It taints my joy of watching my favorite show. Meh, Heller!
I pretty much hated all the spoilers we got lately, I had hoped season 6 would be a little more relaxed after RJ is caught- but now I'm constantly fretting and dreading. I haven't been able to write because of that, and I don't know how things will develop in the future. Given the fact that Lisbon is supposed to get some kind of "boyfriend" in episode 15 or 16 makes things look rather bleak for me. I feel crushed at the moment, I admit.
I dreamed this scenario, so I apologize for any logical flaws this might have. It's mostly my subconscious way of dealing with spoilers that suck. It's actually not even what I like to happen… I would gladly skip the whole "new-love-interest-jealousy"-stuff and get to the committed relationship right away. Nonetheless…I wrote this to grab any chance of coping with the reality, whatever it may turn out to be.
This story is SMUTTY, very much so, so if that's not your kind of thing, stay away! There's also not that much plot, and things happen pretty fast- it's just a short piece I wrote for my own comfort, but I hope you like it, too.
Disclaimer: I don't own "The Mentalist", and I don't make money from fan fiction.
All Is Bright
For a moment, the shock seemed to numb everything inside her, like a huge wave crashing through her life with a measure of destruction too all-encompassing to fathom. Then, reality set in with nauseating brilliance.
Jane had his arms around Agent Fischer, and although Lisbon couldn't bring herself to look for very long, clearly it couldn't be misinterpreted, not with everything that had gone down lately. Nobody noticed her, and she closed the door in silence. It was pretty clear that Fischer had an enormous crush on Jane, and something had happened between him and her when she had brought him back, so there was always something that seemed off… something that made Fischer look like a threat. Plus: all the time they had been working together again, Jane hadn't made a move on Lisbon once. It was more than clear that he wanted her safely in the friendship zone, and with rushing clarity, Lisbon realized it wasn't a spot she could live in.
She noticed how she didn't make much of a sound while she walked through the sterile FBI-base, a place she had never really thought of as "home", her body poised in a mock stealth mode. She just wanted to vanish, escape as fast as possible.
She wouldn't return to Washington, she felt done with everything for the time being, so she would just run… head over heels, without a plan. South America, Australia, who cared. Just far, far away.
Strangely, she was as happy for Jane as she was devastated for herself. He deserved it, and she wouldn't stand by, ruining everything with her childish jealousy. He had never promised her anything, never even signaled that his feelings might run deeper than friendship. Well, okay, she'd thought he had, but hey… it was obvious she had been wrong.
She noticed that her hand shook heavily when she knocked on the door.
Abbott sat behind his desk, as solid and unmoving as a rock. She found that she would almost miss him a little… he wasn't Mr. Nice Guy, but he had been a firm presence in a life that had seemed out of track ever since Patrick Jane had been back into it. But in the end, maybe it was just Jane she would miss so much that it colored everything around her.
She talked so fast she stumbled over the words and revealed much more than she wanted to, but in the end, it didn't matter.
"I think under the circumstances, it's not a good idea for me to work here any longer. I want to resign."
Abbott leaned back, staring at her calmly.
"You love him."
Why lie? Her life was in shambles anyway.
"Yes, sir."
"You know that professionally-wise, an intimate relationship between you and Mr. Jane is a lot more… reasonable than between Jane and Agent Fischer, don't you?"
She smiled, but already felt traitorous tears burn the back of her eyeballs.
"I don't think Jane cares about the professional aspects, sir."
Abbott nodded.
"I always thought you are a good cop, Lisbon. I was wrong. You are better than good. You're bloody brilliant. I accepted you into my team because I wanted to get Jane to work for me. But you always have been a great asset on your own. Your ability to analyze material and come to conclusions is outstanding. You're generous and smart, and I'm not surprised that it was you who could control Jane like no one else. I… always sensed that there was more between the two of you than mere friendship."
Out. She just wanted out, out, out, fast, right now. She glanced at the door.
"Don't worry. I think Agent Fischer now has the means to effectively… control him."
She didn't want Jane controlled. Despite her occasional exasperation, she had always loved him the way he was. But… maybe Fischer would love him like this, too. How could she not? He was a force of nature. A glowing gem so brilliant you couldn't look away even while it scorched your retina. A man who did miracles with his broken heart. Her throat was dry, but she couldn't swallow. She was nothing but a mess of fierce pain.
Abbott leaned forward, invading her thoughts.
"Lisbon, after a certain… time-out, which I understand you need now, I strongly advise you to take training at Quantico. Your talents would be wasted in a job like the one you occupied in Washington. You don't need Jane. I will put a note in your file, recommending you for a career at the FBI. We need people like you, Teresa. Don't waste what you have, please."
She nodded, feeling the life drain out of her, slowly, like a river of gurgling blood, dying a little more with every inch it covered.
"I'll think about it, sir. Thank you."
Abbott's eyes were searching, scanning.
"Where will you go now, Lisbon?"
She gave a short, humorless bark of a laugh.
"To the airport. I'll just see which door opens for once. I'm done planning."
He is everything I ever wanted, and now he's gone.
Abbott nodded once more.
"Goodbye, Lisbon. Don't forget us. It would be a shame."
She smiled a dead shadow of a smile and left, closing the door behind her, again trying not to make a sound, not to cause a ripple.
But she ran when she left the building, ran as if her life depended on it.
And she packed her few belongings so fast as if there were armed forces behind her waiting to take her down.
Xxxxxxxxxxxx
When Jane carefully broke the hug, he felt a mind-blowing happiness coursing through his bloodstream. He was ready, he would move on. A woman, a family, a LIFE. He felt his wedding band almost pulsate on his ring finger, but now was not the moment to take it off. They would celebrate it, maybe tonight. He knew he would feel a certain amount of sadness, it was the end of an era, but he felt delirious with joy right now. He couldn't wait to MOVE.
He looked at Kim.
"So… you're not mad at me, aren't you? You're the boss… it would be BAD for me if you hated me because of this mess."
She chuckled.
"I wasn't madly in love with you, Patrick. I just… you are a very attractive man, you know, and I don't only talk about outer appearance."
He smiled.
"You don't really know me, Kim. I'm as ugly as a toad, and it takes a hell of a princess to really love me."
She laughed, but sobered up quickly.
"I always noticed how you look at her, and she at you, so I'm not surprised. But you should tell her, Jane. She suffers."
He looked down, the sharp claw of regret piercing his mind for a second. He had a lot to make up to Lisbon, he didn't even know where to start. Finding himself had taken him so long, but he was finally ready. His love for her was so bright and unmistakable now, he wondered how he had managed to ignore it this long. How had he ever been able to doubt this, when it was filling him so completely the feeling seemed to ooze from his pores? He was in love, madly, deeply, passionately. And it felt glorious.
Yes, they would celebrate tonight, and he would take off his ring in front of her, showing her he meant business. That she was the one he wanted to move on with. And he hoped she would accept him, faulty and broken as he was.
"I will," he said, "right now."
But when he entered the bullpen, followed by Fischer, Lisbon wasn't there. He looked at her desk with an increasing sense of panic. No purse. No keys. That was wrong. She SHOULD be here. She had been right here when he had left to talk to Fischer, only a little over two hours ago. Where was she?
He searched everywhere, the breakfast area, the interrogation cells, he even walked into the ladies' room, Fischer close on his heels. For the first time in quite a while he felt helpless, lost, as if fate had dealt him a card he couldn't play. She couldn't vanish, could she? He had been looking forward to holding her in his arms so much, he couldn't WAIT, for god's sake!
He felt the imprint of her body against his in his memories, how she had felt against him, so small and delicate, yet strong enough to crush him. He wanted her, NOW. Nothing else mattered, and he moved up and down on his toes to get rid of the enormous tension.
"Maybe Agent Abbott knows something." Fischer said.
Jane nodded and almost ran to the supervisor's office.
Abbott looked at him, then at Fischer, before he sighed and carefully folded his hands on the tabletop in front of him.
"She saw you." He said.
Jane only needed to look at him to know what he meant, his heart seemed to deflate inside his chest until it was nothing but lifeless matter, too empty to beat.
"Saw what?" Fischer asked quizzically.
Abbott looked at her, and his gaze was icy.
"You and Jane in… some kind of intimate situation, Agent Fischer."
She got beet red in a second.
"Agent Abbott, I… I assure you there was NO intimate situation! It… it was just a hug, we talked… some things out and cleared the air. You know I would never…"
"Where is she?" Jane interrupted. "Abbott, please, I need to know."
Abbot stared quietly at him.
"You love her."
"Of course I do! And you have known it all along, even before I fully realized it myself. I can't live without her, so if you don't help me finding her, the FBI will have to cope without my help in the future. Without Lisbon, I'm out. You don't want that, Abbott. So tell me what you KNOW."
Abbott sighed.
"My patience is wearing mighty thin, Mr. Jane, so for god's sake, get it RIGHT this time. She told me she would go to the airport and decide from there. If you hurry, you might still be able to catch her… not easy to get a flight on such a short notice- a few days before Christmas."
Jane was out before Abbott had finished the sentence, running as fast as he could, ignoring the strain of his body as doors and people passed by. The air was warm and humid when he stepped out onto the street, and he blindly signaled for a cab, screaming at the top of his lungs for one of them to stop.
When he finally managed to secure one, Jane noticed that Fischer was close by, getting into the back with him.
"I bungled this just as you did," she said, "I'll accompany you to… clarify this."
He nodded absently, not really caring. His heart beat so fast he had to lean back for a moment, close his eyes, make blood rush back into his empty, numb brain. The blackness seemed to dance over his closed lids, his breathfelt solid, too substantial to force it in and out of his lungs. His hands shook.
Please, let me be on time.
He tried calling her with his cell, but she didn't answer. So he called the hotel she'd been staying at for months now, unwilling to get herself an apartment, to settle down close to him on a permanent basis. Pain squeezed his heart. She'd been a nomad, and he had refused to give her a home. He'd made too many mistakes to count them. He just hoped it wasn't too late.
"I'm sorry, Ms. Lisbon checked out about two hours ago and didn't leave information about how to contact her."
Oh my god. Two hours. Was it possible to get on a plane in such a short time when you weren't picky about the destination? Oh god. He would never find her.
"Thank you." He croaked and hung up.
"She can't be on a plane yet, Jane. We'll find her."
He nodded, resisting the urge to bite his own tongue bloody.
His mind was racing. He had to find her, now or never. He was running as soon as the cab stopped in front of the airport, leaving Fischer to pay the driver. He took a deep breath to calm down, to be able to use his skills, quickly scanning the turntables for any hints they might hold. Hawaii? Would be overbooked this time of year, unlikely she got on that one, and it might still be too close to home for her liking. Maldives? Never. Honeymooning couples wouldn't appeal to her at all in her situation. Singapore? Hmmm. Possibly. She could go anywhere from there, to some remote island, Australia, New Zealand. It had to be that… and the last call for the flight was just announced. No!
The gate was nearby, thank god, but the soles of his feet burned when he arrived. The crowd was moving, no no no, he scanned the faces as fast as he could, someone asked for his ticket, some kind of security bull held him back, he hated strangers touching him, but there she was, unmistakably, the rich chestnut of her hair, toppling down her slim back in elegant waves. Her posture was stooped, oozing sadness. He would hug her so hard she would forget the pain. He tried to get to her, but the security guy wouldn't let go, no matter how hard he struggled.
"Sir, without a ticket we can't let you…"
"LISBON!" Jane screamed, "Lisbon, DON'T GO! Please! HEAR ME OUT!"
She turned, facing him, and just looking at her took his breath away. How in hell had he ignored this feeling for so long? His stomach dropped, and he would have killed to get to her, but the idiot restraining him was too strong.
Her eyes were sad and as deep as the ocean. She had cried, was maybe still crying. He heard Fischer's voice behind him, starting to clear the situation with security, but Lisbon's eyes slid towards her, and her expression became even sadder. Thinking for a moment, she quietly shook her head and turned away, slowly, slowly, and the final realization that he just couldn't lose her kicked in in seconds.
"LISBON!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, not caring that half the airport listened, "I don't want her, I want YOU! I have loved you forever, Teresa, please, don't go! I'll do whatever you want, no matter what, ANYTHING! JUST DON'T GET ON THIS PLANE! TERESA, PLEASE, I LOVE YOU!"
She stopped and turned again, and the hope was almost crushing him when she slowly started to walk towards him, the brute released him when Fischer showed his badge, and he was struggling to get through the crowd, closer, closer, she looked so small in her tiny T-shirt and the loose pants, her eyes wary and exhausted, liquid with tears. She had put her hands into her pockets, signaling that she didn't want to be touched. He didn't care, barreling through her defenses, crushing her against his chest as soon as he was close enough to grab her. She was so, so warm, hot, sweet woman, he pushed his face into her soft hair and inhaled deeply, catching her scent.
He almost cried when she tentatively started to hug him back, her small hands on his body everything he had ever wanted. He clutched her tighter, not ready to let go yet.
"I saw you, Jane," she whispered, "I… I just can't work with you like that, but I'm really happy if you found someone you…"
"Shhhh," he interrupted, "you just saw a hug, Teresa. I'm so sorry. I know things have been… strange lately. But I was never in love with Fischer. I just… I needed a little time to find out what I really want. But I know now. I want you, Lisbon. No one else. I'm sorry I hurt you. But I love you. And I'm so, so glad I reached you in time."
Fischer coughed, and Jane instinctively clutched Lisbon tighter, pressing her against his chest while he looked up.
"I think you might be able to clarify that on your own, Jane."
"I need holidays," Jane blurted out, "two weeks. I need it."
Fischer looked from him to Lisbon and back again. She sighed.
"Granted. Report back at headquarters two weeks from now. Jane? Do what Abbott said. Get this RIGHT, and return in working shape, both of you."
"I resigned." Lisbon stated calmly, but her voice shook slightly.
Fischer looked at her.
"We need you, Lisbon. Jane alone is brilliant. Together, the two of you are invincible. Two weeks… both of you."
He felt Lisbon stiffen in his arms and held her tighter. No matter what she did, he wouldn't allow her to run from him again. He just couldn't.
She thought for a moment, before she gave a firm nod.
"I'll be there."
Fischer nodded back and turned, already taking out her cellphone.
"Let's go," Jane whispered into Lisbon's ear, "and don't expect me to let go of your hand."
Xxxxxxxxxx
Lisbon didn't like to be ordered around, but she sensed the desperation in Jane, and was curious to see what would happen. When he overstepped, she would teach him the rules. But Jane was sweet, almost a little shy, asking her if she was okay with everything he did. And he didn't let go of her hand.
She felt raw and vulnerable, emptied out by all the tears she had cried. He was like an apparition, back in her life like a heavy mist that filled her lungs. Her heart throbbed inside her chest, heavy and full.
She would let him lead the way, just now.
He was talking on his cellphone, and she tried to listen in, but it was loud at the airport, and she was exhausted from crying. He held her hand tightly, and she enjoyed the contact like a lifeline, allowing him to guide her through the flurry of people and soft Christmas lights.
He bought her a warm jacket, which made her frown.
"Where are you taking me, Patrick Jane?"
He smiled shyly.
"It's a surprise. Is that okay for you? It's a GOOD surprise, I swear. I just want to be alone with you, Lisbon. We need some time to... explore. Just you and me. Okay?"
She smiled back and pulled the eyebrows up.
"Okay. Do what you have to do, I for once relent to being surprised."
She put her free hand against his face, felt the soft fuzz of his short beard.
"I thought I had lost you forever, Jane."
To her surprise, his eyes became moist.
"I thought the same. God, Lisbon, I almost destroyed everything. I'm so sorry."
He pulled her close for a moment, and she buried her face against his chest. He was warm and solid, and smelled like clean, hot male, underlined by the fragrance of an utterly masculine Aftershave. She sighed in pleasure.
"What now?"
He grinned.
"Choose a winter coat for me."
"I'm supposed to choose for you?"
"Sure," he shrugged, "you're the one I want to impress. Choose what you think looks hot on me."
She picked a classical black pea coat that was exactly Jane's style and still warm enough for the worst of climates. He smiled brightly, turning in front of the mirror.
"I love it!"
She chuckled.
"Me, too. So, where are we going, Jane?"
"We need to fly there."
"You expect to get on a plane to a certain destination, two days before Christmas, just like that?"
He pulled her close. His new coat was soft, and she snuggled up against him.
"Already done, Lisbon," he whispered, "you know I have my ways. Let's go pay for the clothes and find our gate."
Jane picked up some stuff on the way to the register, underwear, shirts, even two suits. He was fast and efficient, estimating sizes and fitting with obvious correctness. It took him less than fifteen minutes to get himself a new wardrobe.
He paid before he took her hand again and pulled her after him, leading her to the gate.
Lisbon felt too tired to stay upright all of a sudden. Her insides felt torn, and dark images came crashing back- the past months had been hell. She pressed his hand tighter, enough so that Jane turned and looked at her, worry in his eyes.
"I'm okay," she whispered, "I've just been sad for quite a while. I need a little time to… realize that I didn't lose you after all."
He crushed her against his chest again, and the feeling was about the most glorious she'd ever had.
"You could never lose me, Lisbon. I love you. Let's escape together. Like irreverent teenagers."
She smiled helplessly and nodded. Just for once. For once she would let him lead the way, because she was so, so tired. Tomorrow, she would kick his shapely butt. Maybe.
Jane said his name at the counter in front of the gate and was handed two tickets. Almost too tired to walk now, the narrow hallway went by in a hurry, she heard the last call announced from the speakers.
"Where are we going, Jane?"
He smiled.
"Somewhere COLD."
She huffed.
"Yeah, I've been guessing as much."
They slid into their seats and fastened the belts, and Lisbon noticed that she was excited and exhausted at the same time. She rubbed the skin over her heart.
Yes… it was still aching, and she closed her eyes in momentary despair, taking the deep hum of the engines into her shivering body.
Xxxxxxxxxx
She was so warm… everything drew him to her, and he desperately wanted to kiss her, but he sensed that the moment wasn't right. Lisbon was looking out of the window, and the melancholic mood she was in hummed as clearly as the plane.
"Are you alright, Teresa?"
She looked at him.
"Not really."
"Oh, come on. Tell me what I can do. I meant what I said, you know? I'll do ANYTHING. Just say it, and I'll obey. Is it because I didn't ask you to go on this holiday with me? I didn't mean to overpower you, I was just overwhelmed and wanted to give you some kind of romantic surprise, in addition to spending some time alone with you, but I never wanted to…."
She lifted a hand to stop him before she put it back on her lap, and he immediately got dirty thoughts, heating his blood to boiling level. Yes, since he had finally realized this was what he wanted, his body didn't take prisoners any longer.
"Jane, I have spent the past months wondering if there is something between you and Fischer, fuelled by the fact that she was cockblocking as mad."
He couldn't stop the smile that appeared on his lips.
"Cockblocking?"
"Like constantly pairing me with Cho, forgetting to invite me to team meetings, sending you to remote areas while I stayed behind, and insisting on accompanying us in the car. Didn't look very professional to me. And you seemed to encourage her."
Her voice sounded strained now, sad, and that sobered him up fast.
"You're right, it was… fun for a while. I never really encouraged her, but I… wanted to find out how this would play out. I hurt your feelings, and I can't even say how sorry I am, Lisbon. But I never wanted Fischer. We never even kissed. But I was… unsure of my own feelings for you. Not for her, I knew I didn't have any. But I didn't realize what I truly wanted. Once I knew… I immediately sought her out to talk to her, and make it unmistakably clear that I'm not interested. I never was, Teresa. I was just… thoughtless. I'm so very sorry."
He leaned back, lost in memory for a moment. They had hurt each other, badly. It had all been a harmless game for him, and he had never really noticed how much Lisbon had suffered. Until she had tried to move on from him, had started dating this awful guy, and he had realized that she was everything to him, that he just couldn't let her go. That he needed to fight. He was a selfish bastard, alright. She deserved so much more than him.
"I was never interested, either." She whispered. "It was nothing but two dates, Jane. When he tried to kiss me, I knew that it wouldn't work."
"I know."
"You do?"
"Yes. But it encouraged me to make the final step. When you rejected him, you… looked so sad. Defeated. I knew I was done fooling around that very moment."
She stared at him.
"You followed me on my DATE?"
He shrugged.
"Of course. Couldn't leave you alone with some creepy guy I didn't know."
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
"I didn't follow you when you took Fischer to dinner when we were on a case."
He carefully took her hand, pulling it into his lap. How small it was. But he had no doubt she could strangle him with these tiny fingers. Maybe even wanted to, at the moment. He looked at her, but she averted her eyes, and he felt his love like a burning force inside of him. He had bungled a lot. But he would spend a lifetime trying to become even half worthy of her.
"I want to be yours. Can I, please?"
The smile on her lips was tiny, but it grew fast. When she curled her fingers into his, he felt so absurdly happy he wanted to burst.
"I'll spoil you senseless, Teresa. A little cabin where we're guaranteed to snow in. A fireplace. A sauna and a Jacuzzi. A fridge filled to the brim."
She chuckled.
"I don't care that much about food, Jane."
Her lips were very red and looked so soft. He could see the freckles on her skin, her face was slightly flushed. She looked sweet and hot and beautiful beyond words, and he felt his body stir in a not very comfortable way.
"Well," he whispered, "let's say the fridge won't be the only thing fully loaded."
She blushed heavily and bit her lip, a gentle smile growing on her features.
"Okay, now you have my attention."
Damn. He was fully hard now, and they hadn't even kissed yet. But openly flirting with her was so much fun, he couldn't stop.
"I'm a little worried for you, though."
She pulled her eyebrows up.
"Why's that?"
"It's a lot to take for such a small slip of a woman."
She came closer, and he almost felt his heart beating out of his chest with excitement.
"Is that a promise?" She whispered, her voice now sultry and deep.
"It is." He whispered back.
She touched her lips to his, just a brief hint of a kiss. Jane shuddered all over, god, her lips were soft, full, but he didn't dare to move, knowing if they continued this, they would end up fucking like animals in the lavatory.
Maybe not a bad idea.
"Care to join the Mile High Club?"
"No."
He was puzzled.
"Why not?"
She lifted her hand and stroked his cheek, ending the caress by tracing his lips with her finger.
"For a quickie, it would be okay. For our first time? No way. I want a big bed and hours to spend. And after I watched you come inside of me, I want to turn around and take you from behind. So… no."
She straightened in her seat and grabbed one of the magazines that were stuffed into the little pocket in front of her.
Oh god.
To say he was "fully loaded" was the understatement of the century now. Every move made him grimace, and his hands itched to grab her and show the little minx what happened when you teased the tiger. Still an hour to go. He would never survive.
"Uncomfortable?"
He laughed drily. She knew exactly what she was doing here.
"I suffer, Lisbon."
"Everything I do is going to make it worse."
In fact, her damn smile was making it worse. She looked good enough to eat, and all he could think about was graphic, intense sex, hard thrusts into her tight, swollen sheath, filling her until both of them exploded in pleasure. He growled low in his throat.
"You could blow me." He mouthed.
How sweet the little tease could smile.
"Once we're in this cabin you promised me, I'm going to suck you dry."
Okay, that DIDN'T help at all. He saw full well how much she enjoyed this, and decided to allow her the fun. She had hurt a lot because of him, to serve as comic relief was the least he could do… and he had no doubt that she would keep her promise. Her eyes were glowing with arousal, her skin on fire with want for him.
It was not how he had planned it, but as things were right now, they wouldn't make it far into the door before they'd jump each other like rabbits, and there was something he needed to do before they consummated their love. He put his left hand on her thigh.
"Teresa," he whispered softly, "I want you to take my ring off."
Her eyes were as huge as planets, and the universe's stars swirled in their green depths. She shook her head.
"No, Jane. I can't do that. No way."
"I've been scared, Lisbon. That's why I didn't discourage Fischer right away. She would have been an easy way out. I would have lost interest soon, and moved on to the next woman. And all the time I would have been able to stay aloof. No honest feelings involved. I would have stayed superior. But with you? It's true love I feel for you, Lisbon. With you, I will DROWN in my feelings, and I know it. I was scared. Because…"
He felt the tears coming and couldn't stop them. These weren't the soft, decorative tears of a man still in control, but something that bubbled up from so deep down that it seemed to make everything inside him clench. He couldn't help sobbing heavily, but he needed to plow on, for these things needed to be said.
"Because I loved like this only once before," he sobbed, feeling the tears stream down his face in angry rivulets, "and when she died, I lost myself. It destroyed so much of me I haven't recognized me ever since. So I tried to convince myself that this isn't like that… that I would never love you as much as I loved her."
He looked at her through the blur of his tears. She was so beautiful it took his breath away, every time he dared to stare.
"It was a lie, Lisbon. I love you. I really love you. Love you love you. Not in a platonic way. Not like a friend. No. Like a man who's ready to lose everything, his soul, his heart, his life. I would give everything for you, Teresa Lisbon. Everything. Because I…"
He swallowed. His throat burned. He wanted to kiss her so bad.
"I love you as much as I loved her. It's different. But it's not weaker, not in any way. And every time I imagined you in my arms, beneath me in bed, growing with my child, I felt like a traitor, because deep inside me I knew that it was the real thing. That what I felt for you would devour me whole. I want to be YOURS, Teresa. There's nothing in the world I want more. Please… take the ring off."
She sobbed softly. He could hardly see because he was just crying too much, but he felt her fingers against his, so gentle and warm, and he felt the slight pressure when she carefully, slowly pulled of the ring. He extended his right hand and she put the wedding band onto the palm, caressing his skin as she pulled back. He let the slim golden ring slide into his jacket pocket, more tears breaking free when he blinked. Lisbon massaged the slight indentation where the ring had been, before she lifted his hand and kissed the spot. He shuddered.
"I want to kiss you, Lisbon."
She looked at him.
"Okay."
She turned until she almost knelt on her seat. The guy from over the aisle stared, he could feel it, but Lisbon ignored it steadfastly. He forgot everything when she pushed her hands into his hair, her fingernails gently scratching his scalp. He couldn't stop the moan, but she swallowed it with her incredibly soft mouth, pressing it onto his trembling lips. His whole body seemed to be a huge, single throb, he wanted to scream her name, and it took everything he had not to make a sound. She pushed her small tongue forward, opening his mouth, and he went willingly, letting her in on a pleasured sigh. Her taste was mind-blowing. Sweet and pure, it had something urgent, irresistible. Enslaving. He sank into the abyss, not holding back any longer.
She sucked on his tongue, and every soft pull shot directly into his groin, making him squirm inside his seat. She kissed without fear, without hesitation, giving him her all as if a dam had been broken inside her, her trust so complete he wanted to flow into her until they could never be separated again.
He wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her closer, whimpering into her mouth when he felt her hand on his erection, groping gently, learning his dimensions.
"You're so hard," she whispered.
"Like a rock."
"I will make you come so much, Jane. Do you want to shoot your load inside of me?"
"Oh god, yes!"
Sweet, biting kisses that drove him insane… her tongue brushed through his mouth, igniting nerves that were screaming in answer, demanding he should take her right now, as hard as he could.
"You will," she whispered, "you'll fuck me until I'm dripping with your seed. You're mine, Jane."
"Yes, I'm yours. Do with me whatever you want."
"Whatever I want?"
"Whatever. You. Want."
She pulled away slightly, smiling at him, brushing her hand over his chest while she slid back into her seat. He instinctively unhooked the little table in front of him to hide his towering erection, although it was dark and most people around them seemed to be asleep, except the nosy guy they had chosen to ignore.
"I'm sorry," she said sincerely, "but I assure you, I hurt just as much as you do. When will we reach our destination?"
"Twenty minutes. I will take you over and over again, Teresa. All night."
Her smile turned hungry and seductive.
"That's what I'm hoping for."
He took her hand and clutched it against his chest, his mind was swirling, and he felt like losing consciousness for a moment.
"Patrick," she whispered, and her using his first name made him gasp.
He looked at her. Her voice was firm, unwavering.
"I love you."
Xxxxxxxxxxx
Thank God it didn't take them long to catch a cab at the airport.
She immediately realized that they were in Montana, and damn, did these people get snow. Thankfully, the streets were still manageable, although the weather was supposed to get more severe over Christmas.
"How do you time these things, Jane?"
He sat next to her in the car, as far away as possible, his body almost pressed against the door to bring as much distance between them as he could. There was sweat on his brow, and he averted his eyes, which didn't hide the wild, untethered glow inside them…
"Jane?" She whispered and extended her hand to gently touch his arm, but he jerked away from her, pushing his shaking frame even closer to the car door.
"No, Lisbon," he breathed, "don't touch me now. I might spontaneously combust."
She smiled to herself. Well, that was flattering. Not that she was in a much better shape… she was so wet she had soaked her pants, and swollen enough to make walking a torture. Her sex throbbed in synch with her rapid heartbeat, and every time she looked at him, it got worse. Heavens, he looked hot in that coat. His hair blond and shiny, his lips slightly swollen from her kisses- she wanted to fuck him so bad. She rubbed her thighs together to relieve some tension, achieving the contrary.
"Listen, Teresa," Jane whispered low under his breath, inching a little closer to keep the driver from overhearing what he said, "there's no way I'm going to last long once we're really get this started."
She looked at him, clenching her fists to stop them from touching. She wanted to- so much.
"I don't care, Jane. We have two weeks. I just want you to spill your first load inside of me… not anywhere else."
He came even closer and whispered directly into her ear.
"Then don't touch me, little witch. Don't touch me, and I promise I'll shoot inside of you."
She sensed his urgency, the need to say more, dirtier stuff, the mere thought made her shudder. When he looked away, she felt bereft for a moment.
How long could this damn cab ride take?
Way too long. Ten minutes later she was sweating, too, biting her lips to keep from screaming. She'd never been this aroused in her life, and god, it HURT. All she could think about was Jane's cock driving into her, again, again, and every graphic picture in her mind made her body quake as if he were already inside her. When the cab stopped, she felt as if every little touch would be enough to make her come, and every step was a tortuous matter.
Jane paid the driver while she took in her surroundings. Very remote, full of snow, the white glitter contrasting sharply against the dark grey sky. The cabin looked as cozy as an old Christmas postcard, and she felt excitement course through her like an electric current. Patrick Jane would fuck her. He would push his huge erection into her swollen core, she felt lightning explode everywhere just thinking about it.
She wanted him. Wanted him so much that if he would vanish now, dying was a definite possibility.
The cab drove off, and Jane grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the cabin, dragging their luggage behind him, producing a key from a hidden spot in the doorframe.
It was dark inside, and her eyes needed a moment to adjust.
Jane stopped for nothing. He slammed the door shut behind them and had dropped their suitcases as well as his coat and jacket before he had reached her.
"Rip whatever you want," he growled, "I don't care. I'm planning to spend the next two weeks naked anyway."
He grabbed her and sat her down on the counter of the sizeable kitchen, already fumbling with the buttons of her jeans before she had a chance to gasp. His lips were on hers, hot, soft, demanding. He pushed his tongue into her mouth like a wild animal finally free of his chain, ready to feast on her for hours.
"I want in there," he groaned, roughly pulling her jeans down, taking her underwear, shoes and socks with it.
She moaned desperately, her hands wandering to his belt, but he stopped her immediately.
"No touching, Teresa, or all you'll accomplish is making me come in my pants."
She let her hands wander upwards instead, severing his shirt at the seams in her urgency to touch his naked flesh.
"Fuck me," she breathed, "Jane, please, fuck me now…"
He was sucking on the soft flesh of her neck, making her shiver with need, his fingers sliding between her engorged folds, and she whelped with painful pleasure. He found her straining clit immediately, framing it with his fingertips, deftly rubbing from both sides until she saw stars and screamed his name.
"Look at me, Lisbon," he gasped, lifting his head, "look at me- it's me, I'm yours, I'm the one doing this to you, taking you. You always wanted this, and now I'm here, and nothing is important to me but you. God, my cock is hurting. Hurting to fill you and shoot its full load inside you, over and over again. It's me, Teresa. I'm yours."
It was her mind that pushed her over the edge, the images and feelings too strong to resist. This was Patrick Jane, and after all these years of loving him, he was HERS. She came so hard she almost blacked out from the force of it, her eyes fluttering shut, her mouth screaming incoherent syllables. She didn't even hear Jane opening his belt, but she definitely felt when his huge shaft entered her on the peak of her climax, tunneling through already exploding nerves too sensitive to touch. He thrust so hard the counter shook, holding her hips still for his onslaught, ramming so deep she felt him everywhere.
He shouted when he came, clutching her so tight she felt the air being knocked out of her lungs while his cock twitched inside of her, spilling his seed in voluminous spurts she could actually feel. It triggered another explosive release from her, making her cry out in ecstasy, her fingernails scratching his bare back.
Jane swayed a little, and she immediately felt him grow inside of her, cramming every ounce of space until she could hardly breathe through the sensation. She became inflamed again, the need for more sex so sharp it almost made her nauseous. She had never, ever felt like this.
"I need more," he growled, echoing her thoughts. He pulled out of her, his shaft so hard it slapped his stomach. He kicked out of his shoes, taking off socks, pants and underwear until he was completely naked.
He wasn't careful with her blouse and bra, sending hooks and buttons flying until she was as naked as he was. He pulled her into his arms, pushing his arm under her knees to pick her up, breathing into her mouth while he carried her to the bedroom.
The bed was huge and looked so soft, he all but threw her onto the mattress, making her land on her stomach. He was on her immediately, spreading her legs and pushing inside her before she could react in any way. She screamed, he could go even deeper in this position, his hips forcing her onto her knees so he could slam in really, really deep. Her womb clenched in anticipation while he aimed low to catch her clit with every brutal thrust, his huge shaft rubbing the sensitive little nub until it burned.
She was already coming when he pulled out of her and roughly turned her in his arms, pushing her up against the headboard before he rammed inside again, pounding her with hammering strokes, his breath hot on her face. She contracted endlessly, until everything hurt, and still Jane took her with undiminished force, slamming his cock into her to the hilt over and over again. She wrapped her hands around his forearms, desperately searching for something to hold on to, and when he changed the angle of his thrusts she helplessly came again, exploding beneath him with a hoarse scream.
She felt the sweat run over her body in rivulets.
Her mind emptied of anything but one thought.
More.
Xxxxxxxxxx
He spread her legs as wide as they would go, looking down to the place where they were joined, his cock slamming in and of her, covered in her juices. It drove him insane, and he took her even harder, glowing with satisfaction when she came again, her sleek muscles clamping down on his swollen rod so sharply he gasped and grunted like a beast.
They both were wet from sweat and seed and he pulled her closer, melting his chest to hers, his shaft pounding her even deeper now, catching the delicious ripples of her clutching womb.
It was too much, his body vibrated with lust, fire streaming along his veins, covering his skin, devouring him whole. He twitched under the sweet promise of a mind-blowing release, pooling at the small of his back, making his balls swell and draw closer to his body while he grew even larger inside her, stretching her tight confines to the maximum.
He put one hand under her knee and pushed her thigh up, breathlessly watching how his cock drove into her, the sensation so mind-blowing every breath was a desperate gasp now, and he still watched when he started to come, unloading in mighty jets of seed. He pulled out, looking at the white reams of liquid spilling onto her lower abdomen from his steely erection, more and more, before he pushed back inside, ready to sample more of the delicious friction her body granted. Her clenching muscles sucked him dry, made him come until he felt completely drained, using the last of his strength to push into her to the hilt, as deep as he could go, pressing her up against the headboard before he wrapped her into a full-bodied embrace, breathing heavily while he licked and sucked the tender flesh of her neck.
"I love you," he whispered when the ability to speak returned.
Lisbon was still groping for words, her small body slick from sweat and the juices he had spilled copiously. He rubbed up against her, already feeling his cock grow hard again, deep inside her, stretching her, filling her up so perfectly he sighed and sighed some more.
No, no- he couldn't do this, she needed to sleep, she'd already been exhausted when he'd taken her on this trip… they had two weeks, enough time to explore all they wanted. Not now, she needed some rest.
He pulled out with a moan of lust and regret, the suction of her body so strong he spurted a little leftover seed just from the force of it, mindless arousal tingling in his nerve endings. Damn, he wanted to fuck her into oblivion, day and night. Two weeks in Lisbon. He chuckled softly, and the short distraction was enough to let her make her move. She scooted down between his legs until his hardening cock was on level with her face, and before he fully realized what she was doing he felt her tongue, tracing the veins on his shaft, wet and sinful, making him rock hard in seconds.
Jane yelled at the top of his lungs, prompting her to take him into her mouth, sucking on his glans until he had to clutch the headboard so hard the wood creaked under his hands. His knuckles were stark white, and he couldn't help thrusting erratically, shoving his erection into her mouth until she took him deep into her throat, moaning in delight when she felt him slide deeper.
He was done. So much about his gentlemanly notions of giving his woman some rest. Pressing his fingers into her cheeks he made her release him and pulled her up, turning her around so she was kneeling in front of him, her hands beside his on the headboard.
"You're a naughty little minx, and I'm going to punish you until you beg for mercy."
Lisbon was already rubbing her bottom against his swollen erection, spreading her legs to show where she wanted him. She was biting her lip, looking so sexy he had no idea how he was supposed to survive this. She ignited him like no other woman could. Using his long, elegant fingers to spread her wide open, he pushed his cock against the soft barrier of her entrance, moaning when he drove his shaft inside again, feeling her oven-warmth like a welcome. He never wanted to leave again. She was still so unbelievably tight even after he'd taken her two times, and he opened her roughly, with firm, short strokes, letting her cries spur him on. He went as deep as he could, nudging her womb with every thrust, feeling her quake in his arms from the sweet pleasure mixed with streaks of delicious pain. He kneaded her breasts with strong, firm hands, grunting in bliss when she leaned into his caress, encouraging his roughness with her sounds of ecstasy.
He slid his hand over her flat stomach, slipping between her slick folds until he could feel his own thrusting shaft, gently searching for her clit directly above the opening he filled. Alternating between deep, massaging movements and a little downward pressure that pushed the sensitive nub against his pounding cock, he let everything go inside of him, just enjoying her wild abandon, the begging screams of want, wrapping his free arm around her middle to hold her close.
It felt so sweet to just let his body take the reign, to stop holding back, just watching the sharp contraction of muscles and what the movements of her core did to him. He felt it the exact second she came, and followed her without hesitation, his seed rushing out of him like a hot flash flood, and he didn't still the wrecking shudders of his body, but rode them out, enjoying every sizzling jolt that whipped through his system. He gently bit her earlobe, aftershocks massaging his cock, and he pressed deeper, deeper, impaling her until his hips touched her firm buttocks. He didn't pull out before he was completely empty, his breath escaping him in panting gasps.
Whispering sweet endearments, he gently pushed her down onto the mattress. Lisbon was almost comatose from pleasure and exhaustion, breathing heavily, her nipples still hard and swollen, looking so delicious he lazily licked at them, giving them a few gentle sucks, careful to stop before it aroused her too much. His gorgeous angel needed sleep now, glorious hours in his arms, slumbering to the sound of his heart, beating just for her.
With a sigh, he pulled her close, covering both of them with a plushy comforter.
He would give her his everything. In his mind, he already entertained fantasies of marriage and babies, but no matter what, he would give her the home they both craved. After all the months of hurt and struggle, he had arrived, and he wouldn't bungle it this time.
He kissed her hair and smiled at the little sigh she gave, peaceful and happy.
Settling into her warmth, he allowed sleep to take over for a while, finally ready for a new life.
With her.
THE END
As I said- I'm not looking forward to the struggles. I don't want to see Jane on any dates, don't want anything foolish with Fisher, don't want Lisbon to get a boyfriend. But I wrote this story anyway. I still believe in Jisbon, and even if the journey will be nerve-wrecking… let there at least be some kind of reward in the end, Heller. I'm still scared (and I don't want stupid Fischer to complicate anything, damnit), but hey… all we can do is wait and see. Thank you so much for reading! Sorry if I'm a little rusty… with a little luck, the next naughty dream comes soon, and I can get some much needed practice. Merry Christmas to all of you! Even if you have spoiler-jisbonitis like I do… we'll get through this together!