Learning to Trust

Disclaimer: I own nothing, all credit goes to JK Rowling.

A/N: Ok, this fic is very dark, it contains explicit sexual scenes, scenes of rape, thought of suicide and self-harm so if you are not ok with that then it is my advice for you to not read any further. This fic is also an AU in which Voldemort is dead and will not be returning.

Chapter 1: Sirius is free

Sirius Black looked a mess, his skin was filthy from living rough, his hair was matted and his prison uniform was ripped and torn to rags. But the smile on the man's face was enough to distract anyone from his unsightly appearance, Sirius was grinning like he'd just won the lottery and for good reason too. This was his first day outside of hiding. He'd been on the run for a couple of weeks, desperately hunting for the evil little rat who ruined his life and two days ago he'd finally caught him. It had been a long and exhausting process but Sirius was finally a free man and that meant that he could at last get his life together.

'So then Albus' he said with a grin 'what now? When can I take Harry home with me?' Sirius' grin didn't falter, even when Dumbledore sighed and leant back in his chair with an expression of pity on his face.

'Unfortunately Sirius there is still a rather active Death-Eater rebellion, even after Voldemort's death. Harry needs the blood magic of his relatives to stay safe.' The older man paused to allow Sirius to take in the news, he watched as the younger man's eyes went wide and a look of dismay contorted his features.

'That's ridiculous!' He snapped 'Remus and I can protected Harry more than any blood magic can! He needs us! We're his family.' Remus crossed the room and placed a hand on his friends shoulder, looking at Dumbledore with an expression that suggested he thought the same.

'Calm down Sirius' the werewolf advised gently 'getting angry isn't going to do anything.' He turned to the headmaster then, a look of confusion marring his scarred features as he spoke 'I do agree with Sirius though Albus, we should be able to take Harry home with us. He's Sirius' godson, he has every right to raise him.'

Sirius jumped up at this, placing his hands on the desk and staring at the headmaster imploringly 'Yeah, Lily and James wanted me to raise Harry! They would never have wanted him to live with those despicable muggles.' There was a red flush of anger illuminating Sirius' gaunt face and his thin frame was practically shaking thinly veiled frustration. His grey eyes that had just a moment ago appeared so dead were now glistening with a spark of feeling and just for a moment Albus considered changing his mind and allowing Sirius to take the boy. But the fleeting thought left as quickly as it had arrived.

Albus sighed again 'I'm afraid it just isn't possible Sirius, Harry may visit you if his family allow, but until I have a real reason to remove Harry from their care then that's where he has to stay.' He paused for a moment, offering a tentative smile 'though you will still accept the position of Defense against the Dark Arts professor I hope, then you will see Harry even more than the muggles, all through his school year.'

Sirius growled, shaking his head in anger 'Yes, as his professor! My own godson will call me Professor Black instead of Sirius!' he threw Dumbledore another furious glance and then began storming for the door with Remus hot on his heels 'this is crap Albus and you know it!' He snarled and then he was gone.

-XXX-

Back at Black Manor, Sirius fell down onto one of the dated sofas, dropped his head into his hands and groaned in frustration. 'That man has a lot of nerve telling me what my godson needs' Sirius complained to Remus, who was learning up against the doorframe eyeing his friend sadly. 'We're the closest thing to family that Harry has! Those stupid muggles don't know the first thing about him!' He was on his feet now, hands balled into fists as he raged.

Remus crossed the room and ran a comforting hand down the man's arm, slowly leading him towards the sofa and pulling him back so that his back was resting against Remus' chest. 'I know it's unfair Siri, but we'll figure it out, we always do. There's no point getting all worked up about it just yet.' His voice was soothing and calm and Sirius knew that Remus was right, Remus was always right.

The werewolf slowly slid a hand over Sirius' chest, rubbing gently before moving it down to place it on his thigh just beside his crotch. Sirius stilled and turned to look up into Remus' eyes. 'Really?' He asked gently 'even now? Even after everything?'

Remus chuckled and stroked Sirius' thigh slowly, knowing that it would drive the man insane 'yes of course' he murmured 'my feelings for you haven't changed Sirius.' Both men knew that they should probably talk about it, discuss how they felt, but somehow they didn't need to, it just felt right and that was good enough.

'I'm all filthy Remy' Sirius whispered, moving so that he was leaning over Remus now, their lips just inches apart.

Remus whined just a little beneath him 'make me filthy too?' And that was all it took. Sirius moved Remus so the he was sprawled out on the sofa before climbing over him. He captured Remus' lips with his own and both men moaned as they explored each other's mouths. Remus bucked his hips up, desperate for contact and Sirius chuckled.

'So needy as always Remy.' He pressed his hand down against the bulge in Remus' faded brown trousers and the werewolf gasped and squirmed beneath him. 'Like that hmm?' Sirius asked teasingly and Remus nodded, unable to speak. He bucked his hips again and Sirius pulled away, much to his lover's disappointment. He slid out of his gritty old prison uniform, revealing the thin, naked body beneath. Remus groaned at the sight of Sirius' tattoos, stark against the sun-starved skin and he felt a fresh rush of heat surge to his groin when his eyes fell upon Sirius' large, half hard member, covered in thick dark hair from his time without shaving. 'Like what you see?' Sirius asked with a smirk and Remus nodded once more, biting his lip and moaning in the sexiest way possible. Sirius moved back to his friend, slowly unzipping his trousers and sliding them off of his scarred body with practiced ease. The plain white boxers underneath were straining against Remus' heavy erection. He slowly unbuttoned Remus' shirt, sliding that off of his body as well and leaving the man bare beneath him aside from his pants.

'Sirius, please' Remus whined, reaching up to run a hand over Sirius' chest. Sirius chuckled and leant down to press a kiss to Remus' penis through his boxers. Remus moaned and shifted his hips, begging for more but Sirius pulled away, he slid a hand between his friends legs and parted them gently, resting his hips so that their members were touching through the thin fabric of Remus' boxers and then grinding down hard against him. Remus moaned loudly, tossing his head back as Sirius humped down frantically against him. With one quick movement he yanked Remus' boxers away and his raging erection sprung free, slapping against his stomach with a lewd noise. Sirius crawled back until his face was between Remus' thighs, he pulled the man's legs onto his shoulders and started to ravenously lick the tiny puckered hole before him. Remus whined at the sensation and reached down to slowly fist his dick in his hands.

Slowly Sirius slid a finger inside, moaning at the feel of Remus' tight walls around him. 'You're so tight Remy' he whispered, placing a kiss on the man's lips. He slid another finger inside and then a third, stretching his friend until he was sure that he was ready for Sirius' cock. 'Ready?' He asked gently and Remus nodded eagerly. Spitting on his hand, Sirius quickly lubed himself up. He positioned himself at Remus' entrance and then pushed in slowly, allowing Remus only a fraction of a second to adjust to the stretch before he started to fuck him hard. Remus whined and moaned, stroking his hands over Sirius' body as the man moved inside him. It didn't take long for Remus to cum, the combined efforts of Sirius in his arse and his own hand working swiftly on his dick was enough to send him over the edge in no time. Sirius grunted at the feeling of Remus clenching around him, he snapped his hips twice more before coming undone and emptying himself inside the werewolf. In all honesty it had been so long since either man had had sex that both were surprised that they had lasted so long.

Remus looked up at Sirius with a sleepy smile 'come on, we should go wash up before this dries' he stood up and led Sirius from the room, a broad grin on his face now that he finally had his lover back.

-XXX-

Harry sobbed at the pain in his wrist, he was sure that it was broken. His glasses had smashed into his face with his uncle's final punch and they'd made a terrible mess. His eyes were blurry and he couldn't see but he could feel and smell the blood trickling down his face, could taste it on his lips. It hadn't taken much to get Vernon angry this time, Dudley had dropped a plate, one of the nice ones, and Harry had taken a beating for it. Heaven forbid Vernon show any annoyance towards his beloved son.

The man stood in the corner of Harry's bedroom, hurriedly undressing and barking at his nephew to strip. Harry did as he was told but it hurt, a lot, with each movement his body ached in protest and fresh tears filled his eyes. Vernon finally grew impatient, he grabbed Harry by his hair and tossed him onto the bed like he was a doll. He tore Harry's briefs from his body, leaving the boy naked and exposed. Harry hated this, he could take the beatings but it was this part that really left a mark. Vernon grabbed Harry's legs and roughly yanked them apart, he moved between them and began to push inside, without warning or lubrication. It hurt and Harry felt every second of it. Tears began to roll down his cheeks and he sobbed sadly at the pain of having something so large forced inside him. Vernon grabbed his face, squeezing his cheeks in his meaty hands and shaking Harry's head from side to side 'shut up your complaining boy' he snarled, pumping his hips harder and groaning loudly as he neared his release. Harry prepared himself for what happened next. Vernon gave a loud moan and stilled his movements as he came inside the boy. He pulled out harshly, leaving Harry gaping and messy and sobbing from the pain.

'You keep this to yourself when you go back to that freak school of yours, boy' Vernon snarled as he straightened his clothes 'they'd kick you out if they knew how much you love this.' And with that he left the room, leaving his nephew to deal with the pain and tears all alone. Harry rolled onto his side and curled up into a ball, desperately trying to ignore the feeling of the slick cold cum siding down his legs and wishing that he was back at Hogwarts already.