It was hard sitting alone in the motel I rented last night. My wife found out about the mistress I was seeing. The look in her eyes ripped through my heart. Her beautiful brown eyes and heart shaped face drenched with tears. It was a coincidence of events that took place. I told her I would be visiting my mother that night across town. I wasn't expecting to see her with two friends at the same restaurant I was at with her. I was stupid we lived in a small area with only a few restaurants. It wouldn't have been hard for her to find me. I wasn't doing my best to hide the situation. Why would I have expected her to be sitting at home on a Saturday nigh while I played around? All my thoughts running together I don't know why I cheated. I loved her she was the perfect woman for me. She laughed at my dry sense of humor. She knew how to please me in every way. On top of everything she was hot. Her body would make models jealous. A thin figure with nice sized hips, long black hair and always manicured nails. Her lips where pink and pouty. Almost a perfect picture of Angelina Jolie. My wife Kagome was my perfect mate. I betrayed her. I was being selfish I wanted the perfect church girl, who she was and a wild girl.

I couldn't stop my wandering eye. It came so easily I didn't have to work hard to find a girl. She approached me as I was sitting watching the football game at Bucks Wings and Bar. I sat alone on my third beer at the bar. She came up to me her red eyes staring me down. "Hey, Baby" her voice was sensual and the sound of it set a thrills through my body. She had long thick black hair. Thin figure and round hips. Her lips painted a glossy red. She sat next to me. "Why are you sitting here alone?" My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. I cleared my throat before speaking. "My girl hates football and we only have one television." She told me her name was Kagura. Before I could get the words out her hand touched my knee. I let her red polished nails run up and down my thigh. We talked for an hour before her hand wondered further up my thigh and between my legs. She gave me a seductive smile before I could take a second breath her hand was in mine. I gently tugged her out the bar and to my old rusted Chevy truck. Like a gentleman I helped her inside. I hurried into the truck turning the ignition and hearing the revving of the engine. I drove to a secluded area of a park. For a moment I hesitated. "I should take you back" I whispered to her. I didn't look up at her as I spoke. I felt her hand touch my face. She pulled me towards her. I kissed her red lips, while her hands touched the front of my pants. I gasped in her mouth when she succeeded in unzipping and touching me. She pulled back, and I felt the lost of heat from her hand brought me back to reality. I opened my eyes to see her pulling off her panties from under her black skirt. I bumped my head on the roof of the car as I lifted up to move in a better position. Within moments we were intertwined with each other in the dark parking lot. She moaned my name "Sesshomaru" in my ear. When we were finished I took her back to the bar. I felt guilty as soon as I got home. My wife smiling as I entered my house. "How was the game" she said. I shrugged "it was great "I told her "I'm going to take a shower. " I added swiftly running up stairs to the bathroom. I closed the door and stared at myself in the mirror. "Damn it." I whispered. "She'll never know its just one time" I tried to convince myself. One moment of weakness.

That was the first time I seen her. I don't remember how it began where we started dating. I saw her once more while I was at Bucks bar. I hadn't seen her in several weeks. To busy at work and getting home late. It was a night where my wife and I had a fight. I stormed out the house. There she was sitting at the bar drinking a beer. I asked her if she was hungry. She only smiled. The whole time I was with her. I thought it serves her right for treating me this way. This was my excuse for cheating that night. From there I began making excuses for being late coming home, and finding other reasons to go out. My wife didn't seem to take notice of my absence. I just assume that she trusted me.

Tonight I was careless. She sat with her friends at the BBQ shack I took Kagura to. I saw her first sitting not far from were we sat. I ducked down and looked up at my date. "We need to leave" she scoffed "I'm hungry I've been waiting all night to go out. I'm staying."

I remember standing up next to her at the booth. Pulling on her arm "We need to leave I said more forcefully.

The movement caught notice of the people at the restaurant. Before I could get her up I heard my voice.

"Sesshomaru" the question came farther away, and slowly got closer.

"What are doing here?" Kagome demanded.

I shallower hard "UM…" nothing would come out just mumbled words.

She had her hands on hips "I thought you were going to your mothers'"

I couldn't come up a lie or better excuse then um. The questions keep coming as she asked who I was with. The smile that crossed Kagura's face haunted me

"Sorry honey. "She said smacking her lips. "But were sort of lovers" she blurted out. I stood frozen like a deer in headlights.

"You bastard." I heard one of her friends yell.

She didn't say anything her eyes just misted up and tears ran down her face. I tried to grab for her but she moved away. "Don't your dare come home" she cried out. "You don't have a home with me anymore."

"Baby" I grabbed for her again. She swung around and slapped my face.

I lay back against the bed of the motel. I can't believe this I mumbled to myself. Someone knocked at the door of my motel. I sighed and got up. I opened the door and there she stood my Kagura. In a pink mini skirt and a white short sleeved blouse. She held a couple of bags in her hand. "I thought you might be here. Our spot." She said with a smile. This was our motel I've taken her here several nights. A pay by the hour dump motel. I stood aside and let her in. "I brought you some food and whiskey thought you could use a drink" she sat the items on the table. She turned around to me. "Tough night" she kissed my lips. "But it doesn't have to ruin anything for us."

She sat on the bed and spread her legs. Her short skirt lifting up to show her pink underwear. "Do you have any idea what has happened." I yelled at her. She only smiled and flopped back against the sheets.
"It's about time your wife found out. We can have more time together."

"You Bitch" were the only words I could say. "You had to blurt out that we were sleeping together to my wife."

"You act like I should care. You've been fucking me every night this week and now you're feeling guilty." She stood up and walked over to me. I could feel the heat radiating from my own body. My heart beating faster wanting to slap that annoying grin off her face. She pressed her hand against my chest.

"We fool around." She said her hand moving down to my pants. "We eat drink and finish the night. "

I pushed her away. "You don't get it. I never meant for this to be a relationship between us. I love my wife. I just made a mistake."

She laughed "A mistake for five months. I don't want a relationship. I just want to fuck and move on." She began taking her shirt off. "I don't care that your wife is mad and I don't care that you love her. I just want a good lay. You provide me with that. You got a nice sized dick and I want it."

I grabbed her arm and drugged her to the door. "Just stop this. I can't tonight. I got to fix things with my wife"

She scoffed and put her shirt back on "Call me when you get your head on straight. "

I rubbed my hand over my face and sighed. "I can't see you anymore."

"Whatever your wife's not going to take you back. And you'll be calling me back here tomorrow night." She walked out the motel. "I'll be waiting for that call." She said before disappearing into the parking lot.

I sat alone in the hotel room. The TV on a paid program I ate the food she left and began drinking the whiskey. I called my wife several times that night. I left several voices messages begging her to call me. It was ten o'clock before I run out of the bottle. Getting into my truck I drive to a near by liquor store. I wanted to explain to her how I loved her, and I would never cheat on her again. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to say. What would sound right and not a cliché? I began drinking in the car driving back to the motel. I found myself driving to my house instead. I was drunk and had another half bottle of whiskey in the car. I turned into the driveway of my home driving mostly on the lawn. I walked up to the door. I tried using my key but couldn't get it into the keyhole. I banged on the door screaming her name. I don't remember how long it took for her to answer. But when she did her face was swollen and red from crying.

"What do you want?" she demanded

I fell to my knees kissing her feet "I'm sorry baby." I repeated loudly between each kiss. "I never meant for anything like this to happen."

She backed away "Your drunk."

I stumbled to my feet "I'm not drunk. I just love you. I'm sorry for what happened. "

She slapped me again and then again. "How could you do this to me? I'm a good wife I know I am."

I held her face between my hands "I know you are Kagome. I just….I don't know why I did what I did."

She ripped my hands from her face, and shoved me back out to the porch "you bastard I trusted you!" She shoved me again. "Get the hell out of here. I never want to see you again." She shoved me once more and slammed the door in my face.

Two weeks went by from that night. I hadn't heard from her. I called her once to pick up some clothes. She was polite almost like she was talking to a customer; she was rushing through the line. I walked up to the door. I thought this would be the perfect day to beg for forgiveness. As I approached the door my things were on the red cemented steps in a duffel bag with a note on top reading 'this is everything if I missed something don't call.' I picked up the bag and started to knock on the door. Instead I grabbed my bag and left.

I'd gotten calls from Kagura asking for my attention. I refused to talk with her. I knew it was to late change anything, but maybe if I distanced myself. My wife would slowly come back to me.

I spent my time working at the gas station I owned mostly the night shift. My long white hair covered in an orange baseball cap. My regular uniform I required everyone to wear. I looked the store down at 11pm. I usually handled transactions through a bullet proof glass. At night I would walk the floors sweeping mopping anything to keep me awake. Mostly thinking of ways to talk with my Kagome. That night while I was cleaning the hotdog machine I got a call from Kagome. She was crying on the other end. I wanted to console her and hug her, but only thing she said before hanging up was. "We need to talk."

I panicked I locked up the station and hurried to my truck. I sped down the dark streets running red lights. I turned into the old drive way to our home. I ran to the front door and she opened it. She moved aside to let me in.

I entered the house and took a deep breath. "Kagome, what's wrong"

She stood at the door her arms folded. Her brown eyes staring at the wooden hardwood floors.

Tears ran down her face over her cheeks and to the floor. I reached for her to pull her in a hug to whisper how sorry I am. She pulled away from me. "I don't you touching me."

"Kagome." I said again "What's going on."

She swallowed highly "Sesshomaru." She swallowed again "I'm pregnant."

"Pregnant" I repeated. "Its mine"

"Of course it is I took my vows to heart."

"I did too…" I started to say but stopped "I love you" I told her wanting to hug her. She pushed away my advances.

"I don't love you anymore." She told me. Then her eyes were clear as she shot me a hard stare "I hate you. I want to kill you right now. I prayed with every breath I took that I would never see you again. I wanted you to die painfully."

"Then why did you ask me here."

She spat her words at me "I didn't want to deny you, your son or daughter. As much as I hate you I don't want to cause the baby pain." I didn't know what to say at her telling me she hated me. It burned deep within me and nothing could hurt worst.

"I want to try to have a family again. To work things out and figure out what went wrong between us. But…" she stopped pointing her finger directly at my chest. "I'm not doing this for you. I'd rather spit on your grave stone. I'm doing this for the baby."

She demanded that we go to counseling. I didn't have the words to speak I didn't want to deny her. I wanted to try to work things out and be back with her. The way she stood stiff her body tight with rage. I wasn't sure it would ever be the same between us. I agreed with her to go to counseling. Maybe we could get back to her trusting me and loving me again. Maybe the baby would help us grow together. When she was done she ushered me to the door. "When can I move back in." it was a stupid question but I missed my bed and my home. She shook her head. "I don't know." She told me. "I just have to wait for a while to see what happens."

"Listen I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt. I still love you so very much."

"Just stop!" she yelled "I'm only doing this for the baby. If it wasn't for this baby. I'd never speak to you again. I'd move somewhere you'd never find me. Now I'm stuck. Stuck with this baby and stuck with you.

She shoved me to the door. "I made an appointment for the psychiatrist tomorrow. She pushed me out the door, and slammed it in my face.

She didn't look at me as we entered the waiting room. I shyly smiled at her when she took a glance in my direction. It took 15 minutes sitting in the hard chairs. The doctor wore rounded metal ring glasses. His suit was gray and his tie gray. His hair was short and black. He guided us to the leather couch in his office. He sat in brown chair across from us. She didn't glance at me as I sat beside her. He greeted us and she spoke a soft nice to meet you. "Let's get to know you a little bit better. How long have you been married?"

I cleared my throat "Um… 4 years." I said

"No, it's been five." She shifted her weight leaning more towards the arm rest on the sofa.

"How did you meet?" He continued

Kagome's brown eyes were hardened as she answered to question "We met at a party my friend was throwing." Her answers were short and to the point.

The doctor sat typing his pen he seemed to be studying us through his silver banded glasses. "Why are you here today?"

I cleared my throat and swallowed hard "I had an affair." I licked my lips

He tapped the pen against his knee "Did something happen between the two of you. For the affair to have taken place."

"No," I nearly shouted "She's the perfect wife I love her"

"Tell me about this woman you had the affair with."

I shook my head looking at my wife fuming on the sofa next to me. "We don't have to go into this." I told him.

"We need to get everything out. All the emotions and divulge into the heart of the matter. I do need to know who she is how the affair started how long it lasted."

I stood in protest stomping my foot on the ground "What kind of crap is that. How is that going to help anything? Just hurt my wife more than I already have."

"Sesshomaru" he said politely "Sit down. In order for the healing to begin we need to clear the air." He looked at his wristwatch "Times up. Well get more details about this affair next week." He pushed up his frames "I suggest you have a talk of your own about this. Ask any questions you need and well discuss them again next week."

I drove my hands into my jean pockets as we left his office. She held her black leather purse tightly against her hip. "Do you think we really need this?" I asked her.

She walked a few feet in front of me shrugging her shoulders "I don't know what else to do."

I touched her shoulder and she stiffened "We can put this behind us. We don't need a doctor telling us what's wrong. I made a mistake."

She shook her head "How long did you see her."

I ran my hand through my hair long white hair. "I doesn't matter I'm fully committed to you. We're having a baby. We need to focus on that now."

We walked got out of my rusted truck she stood in front of the truck waiting for me to dig the key out of my pocket "You should have been fully committed to me before. I was committed to you. "

I fished out the keys from my right jeans pocket "Tell me how long it was."

I opened the truck door for her "I don't know a couple of months."

"Don't lie to me. You do know how long just tell me."

I shook my head and sighed "5 months I mumbled.

She gave a half laugh "5 months. I didn't notice what was happening around me. I'm so busy with school and my residency. "She kicked the floorboard.

"Listen I didn't love her. I love you"

"Just shut up." She laid her head against the cool window.

"Baby..."

"Don't call me baby!" she yelled. "That's probably the same thing you were calling her for five months."

She started to cry I could see her out the corner of my eye. I wasn't comfortable looking at her that moment "I don't know how many times I can say I'm sorry. I mean it. I'm sorry this happened. I'm sorry I've betrayed you this way. But going to this doctor won't change anything."

"I want to do it this way. I think you owe that to me."

When we arrived home she walked to the bedroom and closed the door. I tried my best to talk to her but she wouldn't open the door. It wasn't until I left for work that evening that she came out our bedroom. I could hear the click of the door as I walked out the house. The night went by slow at the gas station. I mostly stocked the inventory at night. I couldn't concentrate I just wandered would this ever get better. I wanted to stay with her and raise our children but could she ever forgive me. I sat in my office fiddling with paperwork. I loved working at night. It gave me time to think and prepare for the next business day. I locked the station at 10. The only access was through the bullet proof window. Outside the station the customers would walk to. The bathrooms were on the other side of the building. I had my staff keep them clean during the day. They were open at night for the truckers driving through.

As the day light broke through at 6am. I was ready to go. Rin would be coming in soon. I unlocked the door and got a fresh cash draw ready for her. She came in 7 that morning. I got the money to take to the safe. I waved the young girl goodbye and went to my truck. Standing outside was my Kagura. She stood next to my red truck. She smiled as I walked up to her. Her lips glossed with shiny red lipstick. "We had fun in this truck." She said as I got closer to her.

"I can't be seen with you."

"I miss you." She said leaning in for a hug. "Thought we could have more fun together."

I pushed her away holding her at arms length "I made a mistake with. I hurt my wife. I can't do anything with you anymore." She shook my hold from her and pushed me back. "Do my feelings not matter" she yelled "I love you."

"I'm sorry I don't love you. I just …" I couldn't think of the reason for my actions. I didn't love her. Enjoyed having sex with her. I didn't want to be with her.

"The only thing we had going on was the sex. I'm over that. We have nothing else to discuss. I need to leave." I told her

I opened the door to my truck "I'm sorry."

"Bastard." She yelled

Before I could get inside I heard someone call my name from behind me. I turned to see a gun pointed at me. The person was wearing a mask and the barrel was pointed directly at me. "Hey man what's your problem." I started to say before the blast of the gun echoed through the gas station. I thought he had missed when he ran off. Until the pain seized through my body. I looked down to see a red stain slowly growing over my stomach. My knees buckled before I could catch myself I feel to the ground. The last thing I remember before passing out was Rin leaning over me. Then everything went to darkness.

I strained to see through the bright fluorescent lights as I weakly opened my eyes. I looked around the room. Slowly gathering myself. I wondered if the bright lights were heaven. Until I heard the beeping sound of the heart monitor. I looked around sitting up in the bed. I was greeted with light pink wallpaper. An IV in my right wrist and a stabbing pain my gut. I grimaced as I sat up surveying the area. I remembered getting shot but nothing after that. I moaned "What happened"

I heard movement next to the bed and I didn't realize anyone was in the room. Kagome sat in a chair next to the bed. Her eyes wide with tears as she took notice e of me. She stood leaning over the bed and directly to my face. She pressed her lips hard against mine. Her hot tears met my face. "I was so worried." She cried against my lips. She pulled back to stare at me "You were in surgery for two hours." She kissed me again. "Thank God your okay."

"Yeah I'm fine." I gently pushed her away. Pain whisked through my body. I pulled up my night gown seeing the patch on my stomach. I looked at my wife. "The last thing I remember is getting shot outside the gas station."

She wiped her tears "Yeah, Rin found you lying on the ground. The police need to ask you a few questions. I'm supposed to call them when you wake up." She reached for her cell phone.

I touched her hand "Not yet. Please." I lay back against the pillow. I felt the gnawing of the gunshot running through my body. I most have winced at the pain because announced she would get the nurse.

I shook my head "No, I'm fine. How long do I have to stay here?"

"Tonight they'll probably release you tomorrow." She leaned over me again and kissed my forehead.

She babied me the whole night until I begged her to go home. The next morning they released me and she was there waiting by the car as they rolled me out in the wheel chair. She picked me up in her gold ford contour. She helped me into the car. We drove home in silence she glanced at me a few times from the corner of her eye. We pulled up into the rocky driveway to our home. I started to get out but she held my hand. "I'll help you I don't want you pulling any stitches."

I rolled my eyes "I can get out on my own. I'm not helpless." She ignored me and hurried to the passenger side of the car. Her hand wrapped around my elbow. "Take it easy. "She told me as I got out. I winced in pain and she noticed. "I'll get your pain pills when you're settled on the sofa."

We walked arm and arm to the tan sofa where she helped me lay down. "I'm going to the pharmacy with your prescription don't move until I get back."

I enjoyed the attention she was giving me. It had been several months since anything other than hate washed into her eyes. I walked around the house while she was gone. Fixing a sandwich and drinking my favorite bud beer. Pain would sweep over me whenever I moved to walk but I ignored the burning in my stomach. The door began to click and hurried back to my spot on the couch before she swung the door opened. "Okay" she said picking at her bags. "I have some pasta to cook for dinner and your pain pills." She looked up at me walking across the room "You can't drink with this."

She started putting the food away in our old yellow refrigerator. "I'll call the police they want to talk with you about what happened, and see what you remember."

I sighed "I don't remember anything but the gun being pointed at me."

She started dinner early a big pot of spaghetti. The police had made an appointment to come by at six. She had made enough for everyone. They came on time with a soft knock at the door. She opened it and urged the officers in. They both wore black suits there badges on there belt. I sit up allowing them to sit next me on the couch. They addressed me formally by mister, and began questioning me. My wife offered them dinner but they politely declined.

"Mr. Sesshomaru can you tell us what happened that night."

I glanced up at my wife things were going so well the last two days with my attack. I didn't want to ruin it by mentioning my ex lover came to visit me that night. I looked at her as she handed me bottled water and then one to the officers. "I need to talk to them alone." I told her.

She nodded and left the room. I waited until I could hear her in the bed room I cleared my throat "I had just got off from work, and standing at my car. My ex lover Kagura." I whispered "Was standing by my truck and asked me to come back to her." I took a sip of the cold water. "I declined and when she left I heard my name behind me and then the gun went off."

"What's the full name of this Kagura?" One of the officers asked. I gave them her full name and then they asked whether I knew what kind of gun it was, and if I saw a face. I explained to them how the guy was wearing a mask and the last thing I remember is waking up in the hospital.

The police left 15 minutes later promising to get back in touch as soon as anything developed. I could hear my wife stomping up stairs. Maybe she heard what was said between me and the officers. She stomped down the steps. Her body manners different from the jovial housewife she was when I was just come home. She went into the kitchen and began fixing the dinner plates. She slapped a plate on the counter surprisingly not hard enough to shatter it. She plopped a spoonful of pasta on the flower patterned dish. Then she placed a salad on the other side of the plate. She walked towards me and dropped the plate in my lap. "So you didn't want me to hear about that woman visiting you at work."

I started to defend myself "Turned her down and told her to get lost."

"It should have never started." She yelled and then stormed up to the bedroom and slapped the door. I put my plate on the coffee table and walked up stairs slowly pain shooting through my body with every step. "Are you going to eat tonight?" I asked through the door.

"Go to hell." She yelled back.

I groaned "I'm doing everything I can to make it better between us. I swear that nothing like this will ever happen again." I began repeating myself begging her forgiveness.

She opened the door only a crack "I'm doing this only for the baby. "

"If this is too hard for you we can raise it separately. People do it all the time." My gut turned when I said that. I had to let her know she didn't have to force herself to be with me. "You don't ever have to deal with me unless it has to do with the kid."

She pounded the door with her fist "I don't want to raise my child that way."

"Then you have to find a way to forgive me. We can't raise a child with you not even looking at me. The other half you're disgusted with me." I pushed the door opened holding my side where the stitches were. She sat curled in a ball on the bed. I sat behind her my hand on her back. "I can't change what happened but it will never happen again."

I could feel her sobbing her body shaking with each tear that fall down her face "Did you love her."

She spoke softly

"I never loved her."

"Why did you do it?"

"I don't really know. I guess it was because it was easy. I could get away with being with you and having someone else on the side. "

She turned over her eyes staring at mine tears still misted with in them. I could tell she was chewing on her tongue her cheeks moving as she bit down. "Was she…" she heisted "Is she better in bed than me."

My eyes widen at the question. I didn't know how to answer her. My lover was wild in bed. She did things my wife wouldn't do. It was the reason I kept coming back. We'd have nights hidden behind dumpsters in the bed of my truck. How do I answer that truthfully? I watched the emotions wash over her face. Then tears began to pour and she started heaving. I touched her trying to console her. "I guess she was better than me." She cried out. "She wasn't." I lied "Being with you has always been valued to me. I just had a sudden lapse of weakness."

She shook her head "You're lying." She turned back over "Please just leave me alone." I lay next to her and whispered in her ear "I've always loved you more than another woman I've been with. That has never changed."

"Please" she whispered "I just need to be alone."

I lifted slowly off the bed and walked down the stairs cursing to myself. I went to the kitchen and took my pain pills out the kitchen cabinet. I swallowed two and feel back against the sofa. I must have fell asleep because when I awake I heard her rumbling in the kitchen cleaning up. "Honey," I started to say.

She didn't respond to me. I stood slowly crouching at my side to walk into the kitchen. "I'm sorry I woke you." She said still cleaning up the kitchen.

I kissed her cheek and she pulled away. "Don't." she whispered "I don't want you touching me right now." I walked back to the sofa and lay back down.

The next morning she came down stairs softly. I jerked up and felt the shooting pain in my side. "I have to be in class at 10." She started talking as she walked down the steps. "I need you to take a shower, so I can change the badge afterwards." I groaned in pain and grumbled an okay.

I started up the stairs to the master bathroom. She had some black sweat pants and a gray t-shirt folded on the bathroom counter. I started the water and waited awhile before getting in.

I sat on the bed in my black sweats as she kneeled in front of me unwrapping the old badges. I looked down at the wound seeing the closed skin sewn together with stitches. I ran my hand over the rough treading. She smacked my finger away. Then began wrapping the clean badges around it. She stood in front of me patting my shoulder. She left a few minutes later before telling me to take it easy.

I sat on the sofa flipping the channels on the TV. I was bored and tired of being in the house.

I decided to do some small work on my motorcycle. I went to the garage and pushed my Harley outside. I had been working on rebuilding the engine for a few months. I took out the manual and began tinkering with engine. I don't know what came over me but I felt like hearing the rumbling of the bike and started it to life. The quick movement pulled a stitched. I felt the pain rip through my body. Blood began to sip through the badge. I quickly walked back into the house pacing the floor debating on calling an ambulance. The blood began to darken. My wife would be home in few minutes if I could just hold out until then. I sat patiently on the couch. The door creaked opened and I jumped up. She pushed through "I don't know what happened." I began before I could see her face.

She rushed in hearing the panic of my voice. "What's happened?"

I lifted up my shirt showing the bloodied badge. She walked over to me and began unwrapping the badge. "You pulled a stitch you idiot I told you to take it easy." She rewrapped the badge. And pulled me by the arm "Where going to the doctor."

She helped me into her car. She drove fuming mad "What where you doing." She yelled at me.

I felt like a child being scorn "I was working on my bike. I went to start it up and I pulled a stitch."

She pounded her fist on the steering wheel. "I left you alone for an hour, and told you to take it easy. How is working on your bike taking it easy."

I shrugged sheepishly "I'm sorry."

We pulled into the parking lot of the hospital and we got out. She wanted me to have a wheel chair, but I refused. We sat in the waiting room for 15 minutes my wound had stop bleeding as much. The nurse called my name and we both walked to the back room, and into a bright pink patient room. The doctor came in and started asking questions. He shook his head when I told him about the motorcycle incident. He began unwrapping the soaked blood bandage, and cleaning the blood with a wet pad. He took a needle off the metal tray the nurse brought in with him. He took the needle and filled it with a clear liquid. He began sticking the needle around the wound and numbing my stomach. He pulled the needle out and started to cut the old stitches out and started sewing my stomach back in place. When he was done he removed his latex gloves and patted my shoulder. "Wait until you're healed before you do any strenuous work." With that he left.

"We owe so much in medical expenses for the ambulance ride to the hospital. The expenses that our healthcare didn't cover for the surgery, and now a trip to the hospital for something that could have been prevented." I didn't feel like hearing the ranting of my wife. A mistake happened we'd have the money to cover everything. When we got home she started dinner grumbling under her breath. I sat on the sofa and clicked the stations on the TV.

After dinner I had fallen asleep on the couch with the TV on. I woke to the sound of loud banging and realized it came from the TV. I turned it off and started up stairs. It had been months since I slept in my own bed. I jeered the door open and peaked inside seeing my beautiful wife curled up on the bed. I forced myself back down stairs. Stopping myself from crawling in bed next to her. She had begun showing her stomach growing with the baby. I had yet been to an appointment to see the ultrasound. She kept me from the experience ignoring me when I asked if I could visit the doctor with her. She would turn from me and walk away not saying anything.

I plopped back onto the couch laying down staring up at the white ceiling. Wondering if this would be my life. Waiting for my wife to forgive me. Wanting to make love to that body I'd been ignoring due to my selfishness. Sometime that night I had fallen back asleep. I woke to hearing her fumble down the stairs. "I have an appointment with the psychiatrist today." She told me passing by as she left the house.

The therapist wanted to see us separately for a while and together once a week. I lay back down on the sofa. I decided to the gas station later today, and do some work. It had been a week since I had been back there. My brother was working my night shift, but I haven't done paperwork or get checks ready for the next week. I lay around for a few hours. Before getting ready to go to the gas station. I walked out the house and headed to the station. The day shift had started and Rin a 25 year old college student was working the store front. I waved at her as I entered the automatic doors. "Did we get some shipment in?" I asked her. She chewed on a beef Slim Jim. "I hadn't gone through it yet." she said munching down. "The beer came in yesterday and the coke truck stopped by the day before. I got all that stocked out. We got some other stuff in this morning."

I nodded "How's my brother doing on the night shift."

"The stores a mess when I come in. he doesn't do anything at night. I have to spend the day cleaning up last night's mess."

"I'll talk to him today. I'm going to get some paper work done and get the checks ready for tomorrow." I told him walking to my office in the back."

I spent two hours working on my financial reports and checking stock in the store and the boxes we received. The checks were ready when I left and I gave instructions to Rin to hand them out tomorrow.

I ate lunch at McDonald's that day waiting for my wife to come get back home. I stopped at my brother Inuyasha's house. I banged on the door. He dragged at answering it. "Hey bro…" he said in his white boxers. "Dude I was slept." I shrugged and sat on his leather couch.

He smiled "Your wife let you out in your condition."

"She doesn't know I'm gone. She went to the doctors early today." He handed me a beer and we sat on the couch talking.

"So tell me about this chick you were banging. A good piece of ass."

I shrugged "yeah she was good."

He sipped his beer "I can't believe you would do that to your wife. She's a good woman man. Not even for a good piece of ass."

"I don't need you to lecture me." I squeezed the bottle in my hand. " I shouldn't have let it happen. "

"Please your just mad you got caught. Why would you be taking your date to a local restaurant. Dumb ass." He half smiled.

My phone vibrated in my pocket before I could answer him my wife was calling. I answered the phone "Where are you" she demanded.

"I stopped by the gas station and I'm with Inuyasha right now. "

She sighed heavily over the phone "Your not doing anything stupid is you."

I laughed "I'm not doing anything stupid. I'm fine were just having a beer. I'll be home soon."

I hung up the phone my brother looked at me "She probably thinking you're with that other woman."

I rolled my eyes "She's long gone. I blew her off twice. "I stood up and poured the rest of the beer down my throat. "See ya bro." he waved and I walked out.

When I got home she was on the sofa watching TV. Before I could say anything she spoke to me "hey we need to talk." I sat next to her. Her right leg bouncing up and down as she nervously waited for me.

"What's the problem?" I asked her.

Her leg continued to bounce. "I had a real good conversation with the doctor." She looked away from me for a moment and licked her lips anxiously. The she looked me dead in my eyes, and then in a swift movement she kissed my lips. "I'm going to work harder to forgive you and try and forget what happened. For the baby's sake."

I sat shocked at the action and then I moved in closer to kiss her. She turned away. "I'm not ready to have sex with you. I keep thinking about your body inside of hers and I can't start to get turned on by you."

I touched her hand "I'll wait." I told her "this whole thing is my fault and whatever it takes for us to get back to where we were. I'll do anything."

She shook her head "It will never be the same…You broke my heart and you betrayed my trust. It's not ever going to be the same."

She stood up and began banging pots together in the kitchen. I wanted to scream…to grab her and tell her how patient I've been with her. How I deserve some credit. I turned that bitch Kagura down when she came on to me. But all that just seemed like excuses. I knew I shouldn't have been thinking of brownie points for myself, but the progress that took place. She kissed my lips and she hadn't done that in months. I pushed my luck just a little bit more. I walked into the kitchen and stood behind her. My arms wrapping around her waist. She didn't move as I kissed her neck. I breathed into her ear "I love you." I whispered. She nodded and sighed holding back tears.

I let her go and went back to watching television. That night was pretty quite. We didn't talk much as we ate dinner. When she started to clean up there was a knock at the door. The detective working on my case stood on the other side. I invited him in and he sat on the couch.

"Sorry this is so late. But we have news about the shooter. We went to talk with Kagura at her apartment. She wasn't there all her clothes and jewelry had been packed. We looked around the apartment and found a large money transaction receipt. When we traced the records back we came in contact with a gentleman named Naraku. We brought him into questioning and he told use she hired him to shoot you. We can't find her. Would you happen to know where she would be?"

I glanced at my wife guilty for what I was about to say "I never had been to her home. We didn't talk about anything personal. We met at a motel and that's about it."

He nodded "I just want you to be warned to look out for her."

Several months later my wife was full blown with the babies. We found out that we were having twins. She was twice the size and a month away from giving birth. We were slowly getting back into the motion of life. One night when she was 5 months pregnant she came to me on the couch. Climb into my lap and began kissing me. I was struggling holding her up with the extra weight of the baby, but I didn't force her off of me. She began kissing my neck and sucking on my ear. I hadn't felt that feeling in a long time from her at least. I could feel the tightening in my jeans as she did her best to grind against me. I was beginning to become impatient with the foreplay. For six months I'd been calibrate. She wouldn't touch me sexually. I missed my wife physically but we were getting closer emotionally. Tonight she wanted me. She stopped kissing me and pulled me to my feet. Her voice was husky when she spoke to me "Let's go to the bedroom" I followed her to our room. Where I hadn't slept in months. She pushed me to the bed and straddled me again. Her belly between us making it hard for to get as close as we wanted. I began tearing at her clothes pulling them off her body. She stood naked in front of me her bronze skin begging me to touch her. I sucked her breast taking each nipple in my mouth. I heard her moan and grab my head pulling me closer. I quickly shaded my clothes while she lay on the bed. I struggled around her stomach and found my entry into her body. I almost orgasm just being close to her. I held back grinding hard against her body. She moaned her hands running through my hair. She gripped me tightly I could feel her orgasm spasm through her body. I allowed my release after her. I collapsed on the other side of the bed. Breathing heavily my body covered with sweat "What brought this on." I gasped out. "Not that I'm complaining. I could go another round."

She shrugged and didn't say anything and smiled at me. I turned to my side and placed my hand on her belly. I loved my wife despite my transgressions.

Tonight we were sitting together in the living room watching a rented movie. It was her turn to pick and she wanted a drama night. We weren't able to go the movies recently with the pending baby. All our money going towards the baby things. The special baby food processor the clothes the crib and the college savings we opened up. The movie had just started when a knock came at the door. I stood to answer it "whose there." I yelled. No answer and another knock were at the door. I opened it up a little to peak out the door. I could only see the sunglasses the person was wearing. "Yeah." I said staring at the black nothing. The person kicked the door open and I fell to the floor at the base of the stairs. I heard my wife screech and run into the kitchen. I stood up and ran towards the assailant. Before I could act they pulled a gun to my face. "Sit on the first step." They said.

The voice was familiar but I couldn't tell who they were. They wore a long black trench coat and black shades. I sat on the step and they grabbed my hands. From their pocket was a silver bracelet. They clicked together pinning my hands to the metal banister. She smiled and pulled off her glasses. There she was my ex lover Kagura. She smiled "I was hoping I killed you that night." She slapped my face with her leather covered glove. "What do you want?" I yelled.

"I missed you. After tonight we can be together" With that said she walked to the other room. I screamed to Kagome and then to Kagura. I didn't hear anything for a long time. I pulled at the banister trying to break free. I screamed again and heard nothing. Minutes went by and I heard the struggle. I heard my wife scream out in pain, and then the sound of things falling in the kitchen. I heard Kagura yell "Die Bitch!" and then nothing but silence. I pulled at the banister grinding my teeth together trying to get free. I yelled again for Kagome and she appeared covered in blood. I panicked "Baby…Baby what happened."

She feels to her knees and began sobbing. "The police are on their way" she sobbed out.

"Are you okay…"

She shook her head "I'm bleeding." She told me

I looked her up and down and didn't see the wound anywhere. "Where..." I said still struggling with the banister. "Damn it"

"The baby." She cried before falling over. Her eyes closed and she was barely breathing. It took an hour for the ambulance to arrive. I screamed her name until a neighbor heard my voice. She ran in leaning over my wife. Checking her pulse. "She's alive." Was all she said before the police came in? I stumble over my wife in a panicked as I explained what happened. The police finally arrived and unlocked me from the banister. I was finally able to reach her. The police went into the kitchen and came out talking on there walkies. They secured the scene before letting the paramedics in the house. They gathered up my wife on the stretcher. I tried to leave but an officer stopped me. "I need to know what happened." He asked holding my arm.

"My ex lover came in and she handcuffed me to the banister. Then she left and I heard my wife and her struggling. I don't know what happened after that. She came out covered with blood." I said the statement quickly and tried to pull away from his grip.

"There's a dead body in the kitchen." He told me. I stopped and turned to the kitchen. Kagura laid on the floor a knife sticking out of her belly. I looked up at the officer panic in my eyes. "She didn't murder her. She…came in with a gun. It was self defense." I started to my car. I jumped into my old truck and speed to the hospital. I ran into the waiting room and up to the nurse's station. The nurse told me to wait until the doctor came to talk with me. I paced the floor my hands through my hair. The nurse politely told me to sit down. I bounced my leg up and down as I sat. The detective came in before the doctor. I told him I couldn't talk to him until I heard news about my wife. After an hour the doctor came out looking for me. "Your wife went into labor early. She was bleeding heavily."

My hands were shaking as the doctor spoke to me "We had to perform surgery. The babies are fine you had two girls."

My voice creaked as I asked her about my wife. I don't remember hearing the words. I fell to my knees bent over my head to the floor wailing in the hospital. She told me my wife was dead. I slammed my fist against the hard tile floor. The detective called my brother and tried to console me. I couldn't stop crying. This was my entire fault. Kagura came in and killed my wife. They let me see her lying on the morgue table. My brother patted my back and cried silently behind me. When I was able to see straight through my tears I went to see my daughters. They were beautiful the nurse held one up to the window of the nursery. I nodded at her and smiled. The detective cleared his throat from beside me "there beautiful." He said. I only nodded "They only have a father." I told him

He patted me on the back "I hate to do this but I need a statement of what happened tonight."

I ran my hand against my nose and sniffed. I began to explain to him what I heard and what happened that night. He left me that night and I was finally alone in the hospital. Staring at my two daughters. I was able to move away only after gathering my thoughts. I asked the nurse when I could take them both home. "We'll keep them tonight and can take them home tomorrow."

"I got to get home and do some clean up." I told her. I drove home slowly my eyes misting up as I got closer to my home. I spent the night in the kitchen cleaning up the shattered glass off the floor. The blood and body was gone. I licked my dry lips as I cleaned the room. I couldn't go up to the bedroom. I sat on the sofa in the living room I cried some more until I fell asleep. I woke up about 12 noon that day. My mother was knocking at the door. I smiled weakly at her as she grabbed me into a hug.

It took two weeks for the funeral to take place. I let her mother and mine prepare the ceremony, but I didn't go. I couldn't bare looking at her lying in the casket. My parents begged me to go to the church, but I stayed with my two little girls. I placed them on the floor of the living room and lay next to them. I kissed there hand there feet and there head. I whispered to them "I love you both and so does your mother."

My mom moved in with me to help with the babies. I changed my hours at work so I'd be home during the night to be with them. I promised to dedicate my life to them.