I'm Sorry
Quinn looked on as Sam and Santana kissed in their glee chairs. Everyone gave the two wide berth because no one wanted to be around them. She noticed Puck and Rachel sitting very close together (when had that happened? probably when she'd changed her look), Mike and Tina as well, and Brittany was sitting on Artie's lap as usual. Mercedes was talking to Kurt on the phone, Lauren was chilling in the back, and Quinn could feel Finn's eyes on her.
"Okay guys! I know that this past week was a little rough." Mr. Schue began, running into the room late as usual. Rough? I was dumped and replaced by one of the sweetest guys ever within three minutes and Finn is just confusing the hell out of me, especially since he's not over me OR Rachel! Oh and I am never get drunk again, or at least for the next couple of years. Quinn thought to herself while listening to Mr. Schue talk about bouncing back. "That is why we are going to do Rihanna this week. Who better to symbolize rising above and getting back on top than her?" Mr. Schue smiled at all of them like he had just solved each and everyone of their individual problems.
"Mr. Schue?" Quinn raised her hand shyly, feeling everyone's eyes on her. "Yes, Quinn?" He looked at her expectantly. "I have a Rihanna song I want to sing." Now she could feel everyone staring at her with apprehension. Ever since her baby mama song, no one quite knew what to expect from her.
"Rachel could you do the piano piece please?" She asked nicely. While her and Rachel weren't besties, they were friends and for some reason Quinn thought that Rachel needed to be the a part of this performance. "Sure Quinn." Rachel hopped away from Puck who then moved to sit next to Lauren. Weirder.
"Okay I had made a mistake a couple weeks back and I think that this song is going to explain it best." Quinn took a deep breath before nodding at Rachel to start.
"Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company"
She remembers first meeting Sam and thinking he was absolutely crazy in an adorable way. He seemed so perfect for her. Not only was he tripping over his feet trying to get her attention but he was helping her become Head Bitch again. But then there was Finn.
Quinn began a lyrical dance Rachel had taught her a few days ago, and caught Rachel beaming at her with pride. She never thought she'd admit it, but Quinn found Rachel to be a really good friend, and she figured they'd probably be best friends soon.
"He's more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
The clouds are rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true"
She tried. God knows she tried. Every time she kissed Finn all she could think about was how hurt Sam would be if he found out. If he walked in on them. He was so trusting and nice and, he was everything that she could ask for and she just had to go and mess it all up. It was compulsory for her it seems, to ruin her life just when she's at her happiest.
She glanced at Puck, her baby daddy and saw him wink at her, encouraging her to continue dancing and singing. Whoops, she never did apologize for yelling at him about her abs during Rachel's party. Then again,
"And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying"
It's not like Finn didn't make her happy. He did for a long time, and seeing him again it seemed like all the old butterflies were still around. He was making promises to her and she knew that Sam knew. It didn't matter that her and Finn didn't do anything at first, he knew it was a matter of time. She, for the life of herself, couldn't understand why he was so trusting, she knew it had hurt him every time she cancelled a date so she and Finn could go make out in some secluded area of the school.
Glancing at Finn she saw that he looked confused, not surprising really.
"I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer"
What was wrong with her? She had been with the guy who was her perfect fit in every way, physically, emotionally, hell even mentally. And she really missed being able to have an insightful conversation with someone when ever she was near Finn.
She finally allowed herself to look at Sam during her performance but was only met with a steely gaze. Of course Quinn had figured that it would take a lot more than a song to make him forgive her, but maybe this could be a corner stone.
"I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well"
Santana was such a stupid bitch! She just couldn't let Quinn sort out her feelings. Everyone knew that Sam didn't truly buy her, Saving-Finn's-Life story but at least they didn't comment. Sam included.
Quinn willed herself to look away from Sam and instead glare at Santana, but this caused her to stumble in her routine, but she kept singing, even as she was falling.
"Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying"
Blinking, Quinn looked back at Sam, hoping for some kind of reaction only to receive none. She sighed and thought of the day he gave her the ring. She still had it, hanging from her neck on a simple gold chain. She had yet to take it off.
Catching Rachel and Puck's eyes again, Quinn reserved herself for the more difficult steps in her dance
"I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer"
Quinn felt her eyes tearing up at the thought of Sam never forgiving her and couldn't even bear the idea.
She felt someone near her and saw Rachel dancing the steps with her, comforting her without saying anything, after leaving Steve (the regular piano guy) to pick up in the song.
"Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore
Uh
Anymore (anymore)"
Quinn had never felt so grateful for Rachel Berry then at this point as Rachel helped her through her dance and even added soft background singing making the song seem more powerful than it already was for Quinn.
"I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
And every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
And I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer (a murderer)"
Quinn stopped dancing, content to let Rachel swirl around her as she delivered the final lines of the song, staring directly at Sam trying to convey without words what she wanted to say so desperately.
"No no no no"
I'm sorry.
"Yeah yeah yeah"
I still love you.
With that the song ended and Quinn looked up at Sam, with hopeful eyes as the Glee club kids burst into applause and Rachel hugged Quinn. "Good job!" She whispered in her ear before returning to her seat, Puck leaving Lauren to sit with her again.
"Now that is what I'm talking about guys!" Mr. Schue congratulated Quinn, but none of it matters as she watched Sam walk out with Santana.
Then before they crossed the doorway Sam looked back at Quinn and smiled slightly causing butterflies to erupt in her stomach.
END
So, I'm writing a Puckleberry multi-chaptered story and when I got to this point in the story I felt the urge to write a part for Quinn about her and Sam, because he was a jerk and she was in the wrong, but they kind of work in a weird way. So, I hope you liked it, please review! :)