A/N: Okay, so the anniversary of my first fanfic... has passed by three months. XD So this is VERY belated, but it is to celebrate my FF Anniversary! 8D Also, I officially have posted 70 stories. ;) SEVENTY! In a year! XD Granted, some aren't finished, but still that's seventy ideas started, and the MAJORITY of them ARE finished, so yay for that. XD So in order to celebrate this epic event that nobody else cares about but me, I wrote a ficcy-poo. 83 Of course. xD Duh. I wanted it to symbolize kinda like the beginning of my FF stories on here, so I wrote it about rain, which was the start of everything for HA! :) It was raining the first time Arnold and Helga met and started this entire crazed AxH epicness! :D ...of love! :D :D :D So I wanted to get as back into those roots as possible. Also, as a warning, this is possibly one of the fluffiest stories I've ever written, and for those who have read my stories before, you know that's seriously saying something. XD I hope you guys enjoy. :D
Disclaimers: Okay, firstly, I do not own "HEY ARNOLD!" (Uh-duh). Secondly, there is a little part here where El Corazon glows for certain reasons, and the reason that's present here may be slightly because of the story, "The Jungle Boy," by BrokenNintendo. So yeah, I can't take full credit for that. XD I will take some, though, 'cause even before that story I'd had the idea before. *Shrugs* :)
The Rain
One-Shot
Do you ever wonder about the rain?
A strange question, I know, but it's something I think about a lot, actually. A trivial matter, perhaps, but it's interesting to me. Maybe that's just because of the significance the rain has always had for me. It's given me a better appreciation for it.
Surprising, I know, that Mr. Sunshine would love the rain. Rain is often thought of as something bad and is always used in movies and stuff to show that characters are sad. But to me, rain means much the opposite. Rain means life… new beginnings… hope… even love… especially love.
People hate rain because of how inconvenient it is, how windy and chilly it makes things, and often times even depressing. But I love it. It's refreshing, cool, and feels like nothing more than a gentle shower on my skin, cleansing me of my regrets and leaving me with nothing but hope. The sky, the clouds I've always been so fond of gazing at, caressing my face and arms with their nectar; soaking my hair down, and making my sneakers squish with each step I take, and my clothes droop heavily and stick to my skin. Normally under such conditions I'd take an umbrella, but lately I just… haven't felt like it, I guess. I've been much more content to just let the rain work it's wonder on me as I walk slowly to wherever it is I may be going.
There's something very comforting about the rain. It makes me feel thoughtful and at home, like the world is at peace. There's no need to cry, because the sky will do it for us. There's no need to be scared, for the rain will shield us from any danger. And there's no need to fret, because the sun will be out soon enough, poking it's delicate rays through the dark clouds as they shrink smaller and smaller and the rain drizzles on. And then the rainbow will come (maybe two), the Earth clean and fresh, the roads shiny and slick, and the plants never greener.
Yeah, I love the rain. It has always given me comfort.
But I never quite understood why.
Which I suppose is what has led me here, laying on my bed staring at the rain trickling down onto my skylight, light soothing sounds of pitter pattering petting my ears. I've been feeling thoughtful today, as the rain usually makes me feel. It has always seemed like the rain held an important part of my life. After all, it was raining when Helga confessed to me on that roof, it was raining when we danced in the square of the Green Eyes city last month when we were in San Lorenzo, and it was raining during that weird time in that cave during our adventure... The memory is ingrained permanently into my brain, every last detail…
Helga shivered across from me in the cave, her hair wet and drooping, her big blue eyes narrowed and making an effort to look away from me. Luckily after about an hour of hiking, we'd finally found some shelter from the rain in a damp cave.
I hugged my arms tighter around myself from the cold as I stared at her. The very blood running through me felt like ice, and if I was feeling that way, I could only imagine how Helga felt. At least I had a sweater.
Rain had always been very bittersweet to her, I thought, and it was only seeming to keep up it's reputation of that. After all, here she was, sitting freezing cold in a cave with me. Probably the happiest and most unbearable of things to happen to her. The thought couldn't help but make me smile a little.
Across from me, Helga's eyes snapped up to me almost as soon as the smile came to my face; it was almost as if she could sense whenever an emotion would pass through me. She was always there when I was sad, and whenever I was really happy, and especially when I was angry (considering she was usually the reason for the latter two). Instead of trying to hide my smile, though, I simply widened it for her. I could almost feel her heart skip a beat from across the small cave.
A slight blush stung at her pale, pale cheeks and she looked down, her eyes narrowed. "What are you smiling about, Hair Boy?" Her tone suggested she couldn't possibly understand why anyone would be smiling in our situation.
I just sighed a little and hugged myself ever tighter, even though I knew I wasn't supplying myself with much warmth at all. "Oh, nothing, Helga…" I played a little, feeling rather flirty at the moment. Even before her confession, it had always been fun flirting with her. Even though I didn't love her, I couldn't say there had never been an attraction. There was something just very appealing in the idea of flirting with her, my arch nemesis, possibly the most unlikely person I'd ever flirt with. Perhaps there had always been this attraction, but since her confession that natural spark had been glowing just a bit brighter with each moment I spent with her. I couldn't quite explain why, but I kinda liked that she loved me. It made my heart dance and my pulse flutter and fly.
In response to my vague answer, Helga just huffed a little and shook her head, little droplets of water propelling off her hair and giving her already naturally shiny hair an eye-catching sheen. Her skin was so pale from the cold, her hair so wet and shiny, her eyelashes lightly dusted in the small crystal droplets. If I didn't not love her, I might think she looked very pretty to me in that moment. She said then, luckily not catching my appreciative gaze, "Whatever, Football Head. But wipe that smile off your face. This is no time for smiling. It's FREEZING in here!"
I just keep my smile and lean forward suddenly, feeling drawn to her for some reason. "Are you cold, Helga?" Despite that I was still smiling, I could feel the concern piercing clearly through my eyes. Of course even though I didn't love her, I did care about her… as a friend, of course. Why should I even have to elaborate on that in my mind if I already knew it? I shook the thoughts from my mind and focused on her, forgetting that I was starting to feel like a human popsicle.
The light blush that had been dulling in her cheeks from before came back full blast, and she looked down, clearly flattered by my concern even though she should have already known I of course cared about her. Throughout our adventure here, she'd been opening up more to me. Whether it was on purpose or by accident I may never know, but I liked it. I liked her. Which was exactly why when she didn't respond quite as fastly as I thought acceptable, I leaned myself a bit closer to her. Perhaps not the best plan to get her to talk to me, knowing how shy she could get when I got a bit too close, but it had just felt like the right thing to do.
She flicked her blue gaze up to mine unsurely, and I found myself momentarily hypnotized by her deep blue gaze. It was gone as quick as it came, though, and I just smiled in a friendly manner. She responded quietly, looking a bit frustrated at her apparently soft tone when speaking to me, "Y-Yeah…" As if on cue, a gust of wind blew in and she shivered.
Instantly, an idea came to my mind and I didn't hesitate to put it into action. I scooted forward entirely and sat down next to her, before sliding both my arms around her seemingly fragile form. She was shaking slightly, I realized as I held her, and she was possibly even more soaked than me. Poor Helga, I thought, pulling her the rest of the way into my embrace. She felt stiff in my arms, so I decided some explanation was in order. I whispered, "If we hug we can share body heat to keep warm…" Why was my voice so tender when I said that to her? Was it possibly because I was whispering into this cute little ear? I reached a hand up absentmindedly and gently stroked that ear, wondering how anyone could ever make fun of such a sweet thing. Harold was crazy. Having her in my arms like that had somewhat numbed my thoughts, so I didn't even question why I was thinking such odd thoughts about Helga's ear, of all things.
It was then I alarmingly noticed Helga was shaking again in my arms, and I tightened my hold on her to try and make her feel warmer, safer, more lo—cared for… She didn't stop shaking, though, and I suddenly started to feel worried. I whispered caringly, "Helga? Are you okay?"
She shuddered a little and spoke in a very soft tone, one I'd only heard a handful of times before, one of those times being on a certain building… lovesick. "I'm fine, Arnold…"
I nodded and rubbed her back a little, attempting to comfort her some. I felt her arms slowly start to come around me too and I welcomed the feeling. She was quite warm once you got close enough (in more than one context was that true). She felt soft in my arms… cold, wet, but soft, and a light warmth that I felt was ever present was starting to emit itself from her to me and vice versa. It lit a small fire in my stomach that I didn't quite understand but accepted. I could see the flicker of something glowing warmly in the corner of my eye, but I didn't pay it any mind—barely even noticed it, even though I was aware of it's presence. It felt completely irrelevant when staring into the eyes of Helga here, her arms around me, her eyes wide and almost scared, but… hopeful? Why would she be feeling hopeful?
My mind was going and I felt my eyelids droop a bit as I stared at her. She was making me feel very… not even just relaxed, but… weak. It felt like she was draining all the energy out of me. Though this should have alarmed me, it really just… didn't. I felt… content here. I felt no danger. Only Helga's sopping warm presence in my arms, the warmth between us growing with each second we were pressed against each other. There was an odd look in her eye, but I didn't notice it. All I could see was her own eyelids drooping slightly, her form drifting closer to me almost unconsciously (or was it mine drifting towards hers?), her… lips.
I'd barely even realized it was happening when it was. It wasn't until I felt… it, that I realized what must have been my intentions. Our lips were… touching.
This felt so… I won't lie, it just felt… odd. But… not quite a… bad kind of odd. This was possibly what baffled me most… or rather, what baffles me now, presently. At the time, I hadn't been thinking about much of anything. Not even that I was technically kissing a girl... for the first time (probably the source of the oddity of this new sensation). The thought that I was, however, kissing Helga G. Pataki did, though. But instead of this thought repulsing me and snapping me back to reality, it only managed to kill off the last grain of thought I had left in my head. I was running on nothing but feeling then. Nothing but the urge to pull her closer (which I did), nothing but the sudden need to press my lips more firmly to her own (which I did), nothing but… her, and the sudden instinctual urges I was feeling suddenly bursting and sparking from the very depths of my stomach and chest. My stomach had never felt so… heavy with flutters. Not even butterflies, but just… flutters. Heavy, slow, but steady flutters. My skin, also, was tingling pleasantly. She was just wearing her usual dress, so her arms were bare, and felt so soft and delicate to my hands. But… she still felt so cold. The idea of that made me wrap her up tighter in my arms, try to preserve the bits of warmth we'd had growing. But… it was only her that felt cold. I, however, felt… searing. It was almost painful to be so close to her. I felt like I was burning up in… in… something! And then, of course, on top of all this, there was my heart. It… hurt. It hurt, for some reason. I had no idea why, but the feeling of it throbbing in my chest just made me hold to her tighter. It felt like the only solution to keep myself from having a heart attack. It hadn't occurred to me at the time that the pain in my chest was due to my proximity to her, and that my getting closer was probably only making it worse, but my brain wasn't functioning quite clearly then, so I forgave myself for this later.
Surprisingly, it wasn't my idea to part. I wouldn't have parted for anything in the world, but a few seconds in to our… our… whatever it was, I felt Helga gasp against my mouth and suddenly pull away. She hadn't pulled herself away, though, thankfully (for if she had, I'm almost sure I would have been desperately reaching out to pull her back, and that would have only made the situation more… awkward later, if that is even possible), just her lips were separated. It was for the best, though, 'cause as soon as her lips popped away from mine, I realized how very out of breath I was. My eyes were still closed, since I couldn't bring myself to open them and possibly face my bedroom ceiling, and harsh breaths were forcing their ways through my lips. I could feel her own breaths coming from her (though they were much tamer than my own), their warmth mingling delightfully with my own. It was at that moment that I realized I wanted this. We'd been in this jungle for a good week or two, and for the past who-knows-how-long I'd been hoping something like this would happen. These couple weeks practically alone together had gradually been clearing up all my confusion over her confession, but had done little to increase my understanding as to why that was… until now. This thought startled me, but didn't dissuade me from pulling my arms away from her. That somehow felt very wrong, especially considering what we'd just… what I'd just… what had happened.
I was dazed, any last bits of my confusion completely cleared from my mind, and my conscious and I suspect even my subconscious fuzzed over with the feelings that had just invaded me.
Then, to my later horror, some words I'd been mouthing to myself in bafflement over the last few days somehow managed to weasel their way out of the torrent of breaths still coming strongly from my mouth… They were strangled, like they took effort even though they did not, and felt ancient on my lips even though I knew they should have felt very foreign… and they were, "I love you…" It was quiet, breathy, dazed, but clear as day in the small, echoey space of the cave.
When my eyes blearily opened to see her face, I could almost see her ears perk up at the sound of those words I was barely aware I'd said. My mind switched over to the cuteness of those ears then, and my hand reached up and gently ran over one of them. It felt like a dream. Everything was foggy in this cave, and that strange light I'd first seen out of the corner of my eye was glowing even brighter than before, their beautiful rays throwing themselves onto the pale skin of Helga's face and hair—I couldn't blame them, considering the softness of both those features on Helga. They lit up that little ear as well, and I caressed it affectionately, despite how stiff the owner of that ear had suddenly gone in my arms. My brain was dragging very slowly behind my actions today, and I wasn't sure if I was grateful or regretful of that. Even today I'm not so sure.
The rain outside drizzled on, and I just continued to lov-caringly caress her ear, and then, growing tired of the same motions, I drifted my hand down to run briefly through her drooping pigtail before gently cupping her cheek. I was contemplating the idea of leaning back in for another kiss, when a strike of lightning illuminating the outside and then the sudden crashing boom of thunder awoke me from whatever spell she'd put over me (or I'd made her put over me). I jumped back from her and couldn't even breathe! Whether it was from fright of the thunder, or fright from how fast my heart was racing, I just… didn't care to think, for the very certain fear that I just might figure it out! It was then I finally realized how wide Helga's eyes were, how stiff she seemed, and how completely shocked she looked. I didn't even know what to begin to say!
The glaring light I'd been ignoring finally hit me full force and I welcomed the distraction. My fearful green eyes flicked over to the source of the almost sunshine like beams and came to rest upon our little bundle. El Corazon, carefully wrapped in it's old cloth, was glowing very brightly. Not it's usual eerie, ancient green glow, but a very distinct golden yellow was emitting itself from the rock, even through the cloth that was wrapped and tied around it. My eyes widened and I crawled over to it, staring curiously, but not daring to touch.
Of course it was then Helga chose to snap out of her shock and address me in a high-pitched squeak that I begrudgingly had to admit was adorable, "What was that?"
I gulped a little to myself and disregarded her question with one of my own, "H-Helga, what's wrong with El Corazon? Look! It's…"
She apparently wasn't having any of it, though. She actually crawled over, picked up the glowing El Corazon, set it aside, and stared straight into my fear-struck eyes. Her own were still wide, shocked, but decided in their course of action. I gulped at her commanding tone, "Arnold…" Surprisingly, it was much more kind and innocent than it would have been ten minutes prior. It made me slump a bit in my staring at her.
I snapped out of it, though, and just stuttered out, "H-Helga, this i-is not the t-time for-"
"There will be plenty of time for that later. But right now, I want answers. And you had better answer me honestly." Her hands came up then to grab my shoulders and press me against the narrow walls of the cave, ensuring I had no way to escape. What was this? Was this karma getting back at me for grilling her so hard on top of that building? Yes, it must have been. Now it was her turn to get answers, and she was going to get them, one way or another. But… I wasn't sure I had any answers to give. I had spoken those three words without thought, without consideration, without planning, without… doubt.
I gulped.
The flickering light of El Corazon beside us was drawing my attention, and I flirted a bit with the idea of trying once more to try and distract her attention away from the moment at hand, but looking into her hardened yet desperate eyes, I knew there was no way it would work anyway. I considered what to say a moment, as she stared at me with her unfleeting and… surprisingly patient eyes, before I finally just decided there was only one way I could answer, the only answer I had to give.
I croaked out in defeat, my eyes not meeting hers, "I don't know…"
And truthfully, I didn't. Like I'd said, I'd said those words without meaning to or thinking them through, they'd just kinda… come out. I had no idea what they meant. I'd just been so caught up in… everything, that they'd just kind of slipped out. Whether or not they held truth, I didn't know. I… still don't know.
She'd very quietly and almost… sadly accepted this, and then we made our ways out of the cave and out into the only slightly drizzling rain then with El Corazon, too distracted with our situation to notice that El Corazon had stopped glowing entirely…
Which brings me to now. The rain outside is still going strong.
Every time it rains now it makes me relive that few moments in the cave, and how I still don't know what came over me.
But still, it does not explain why the rain has always held a strange place in my heart. Even before that day in the cave, even before our dance in the rain, even before FTi, rain has always made me this way. But while FTi, that day in the cave, and even our dance all explain my thoughtfulness when the rain comes, it does not explain how… safe, assured, and warm I feel thanks to it. How it makes my heart tingle and a spark dance in my eyes. Why should rain make me feel in such a way?
I may never know, but it still does not fix the problem I've been facing ever since the cave. The answer by now should be clear to me, but it's not. It seems the more I think about it, the more confused I become. WHY did I say that? WHY did I kiss her? And WHY did I feel so inclined to keep her warm in the first place? My mind wants to say it was because she's my friend and I simply care about her, but it just… doesn't seem right. But why should it not? What am I missing?
I really wish I knew. Helga deserves an answer from me. But for some reason, my problem, the answer I'm seeking, they seem… connected with my rain conundrum as well. I don't understand why, though. A little over a month of thinking about this none-stop and I STILL don't have an answer. And a lifetime of trying to figure out why rain is so important to me and I don't have an answer for THAT either. My experiences with Helga in the jungle seem like they should be helping, but all they've done is confuse me more.
Some time passes, who knows how long, as I search my memories and heart for the answer. Just as I'm starting to feel hopeless, a memory starts to pierce it's way into my conscious. I remember… rain. Rain? Encouraged, I close my eyes and wrinkle my brow, trying to capture the memory more clearly. Yeah… rain, and… dingy sidewalks, black clouds, a warm car… and then… light… Yes, I remember light of some sort. It was so dark at the time. But no, there was something even before the light… It's a foggy vision, but I see it… Pink, blue… WIDE blue… lack of emotion, confusion, a compliment… A compliment, but over what? Yes, I remember the pink, but I just can't… A… bow?
My eyes shoot open and I stare straight up through my skylight to the sky, the sun peaking through some of the still too heavy dark clouds in the sky and assaulting my eyes, but I don't care. I think I… That memory… I remember it now. Almost too well for comfort, and yet… It sets off a shining light of understanding through me and I can't help but be encouraged by it. My love for the rain, my words that day in the cave, the reason she'd seemed so attractive to me soaking wet with the rain dripping down her cheeks and hair, the reason I'd flushed so hard when the Green Eyes had pushed us together and called Helga my 'mate,' the reason I'd been laughing so happily when we were dancing together almost like… friends but not quite in the middle of the Green Eyes city, the reason I'd been so protective of her during our visit to the jungle, the reason I couldn't look her in the eye anymore, the reason I'd been so terrified to face her for the last month since San Lorenzo… It all started there, on that fateful day, with the rain soaking the streets and bringing about a new beginning, something that years later – now – would poke it's way back into my conscious and finally bring me the answers I needed…
The smile on my face is inevitable.
The warm understanding is unavoidable.
My answer is clear.
Perhaps I'm not quite as confused as I thought…
A/N: :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Okay, so for anyone who has ever enjoyed even ONE of my stories before, please do review. :) You know how I love those, and in a week's time I'll post up another part here where I'll give shout outs to all my wonderful, valued reviewers! :D I wouldn't have made it this far without you. I love you all. *Hearts* So yay! Happy Belated Anniversary and 70 Stories Milestone to me! *Blows out candle on cupcake* ^w^
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