(hey! OMG i had sooooo much fun writing that fan fic, so i decided to write another!)
Comatose . . .
BPOV
Dear Kitty,
It's been a few months since that gaymofafo left me. I loved him, but he had hurt me. So, what's a girl to do when she's heartbroken and depressed? There's therapy, and that's just not what I need. Then, getting over Edward. As if. And, lastly, killing myself. Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner!
I had started cutting a few weeks after Edward left. I had been reluctant the first time, but after I felt the relief of not feeling the pain. Tonight would have been our nine month anniversary. Just to let you know, I am sick of this. When people found out that I cut, they didn't freak. They accepted it. Except Lauren. She called me the 'emo freak,' and that whole deal. Tonight would be the last night I'd be feeling like this.
I'd already had it planned; wait for Charlie to go to sleep. get the razor blade, then bleed to death. Or maybe suffication. Either works for me.
Lots of love,
Bella
I drapped my pen and sighed. I really was sick of this. I hated it. But I lied to Kitty. I didn't hate
being called names. I didn't hate being labled, it was the idiot's fault that I was doing this. He made me this way. Ha. I hope he's happy. Now for the note . . .
Dear Edward, I hope you are very happy with the life that you have chosen. I was not happy when you left me. I didn't know what to do, I started cutting. A scar on my wrist represents everytime your name ran threough my head.
I hate feeling like this. I'm so tired of trying to fight this. I'm asleep and all I dream of is waking to you. Tell me that you will listen. Your touch is what I'm missing. And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing you. Comatose. I'll never wake up without an overdose of you.
I don't want to live, I don't want to breathe, 'les I feel you next to me. YOu take the pain I feel. Waking up to you never felt so real . . .
Love,
Isabella Marie Swan
P.S. too bad my name isn't Isabella Marie Cullen
As I wrote the note, tears started to fall. I didn't want to do this. But did I have any other choice? Not that I could see. I was torn inside. Whenever I had dreams of him, I stopped breathing. I felt my heart rippping out again and again. The pain was seering, it ripped out my heart, then the knife that had hurt me slid down my chest, cutting out all the vital organs I needed to survive. My heart throbbed, duh-duh, duh-duh. I couldn't breathe. It hurt to breathe. I couldn't feel my hands. I couldn't feel anything except the horrible pain that my heart felt. If I survived, I would have to face this, my family, and their accusing eyes. I would know that they are right. I can't do this, though. I can't pretend that I'm okay when I'm not. I just don't want to live any more.
If he ever broke his promise, I don' think I could forgive him. Look at the mess he left! But, a voice argued, you need me. I need you, Bella, love. OMG That's was Edward's voice. I gasped. I smelled his scent.
I shook my head. I couldn't let my fantasies get to me. Not now. I can't stop now. I had the note, the plans, everthing was in place.
I heard Charlie's snores. It was time.
I entered the bathroom, and grabbed the razor. I turned on the water. I knew what I was going to do.
Twenty minutes later, I submerged in the water.
"Bella!" I heard my angel call. . .
EPOV
I ran, as fast as I could. I ran to my love. I saw what she was going to do.
"Bella!" I called as I enterd her room. "Bella, don't do It!" I ran into the bathroom, and saw the sight.
There was blood everywhere. I held my breath. On the mirror, in blood was written: "I loved you, but it wasn't good enough." I saw the note on the counter. I read it, and turned. I could still hear her heartbeat; it was faint. I had to. I turned off the water.
Could I stop in time?