Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing in any way, nor do I have the English language as my mother tongue.
Hi everyone! :) So this is my first ever fanfic to post on here: it's a one-shot about Seras Victoria! I wrote it pretty quickly and because I'm writing on something larger at the moment I wanted to write something else for a change, and this happened! There's not really much else to say, except that this short story takes place after the Millennium war and Alucard's return. Hope you enjoy!
Ever since she had drunk Pip Bernadotte's blood and become a true vampire, Seras Victoria had always felt that there had been something missing in her.
The joy she'd felt at Alucard's homecoming in Integra's bedroom.
The grief she'd experienced at Walter's death.
Integra starting to age and Seras coming to terms with the fact that the Hellsing heiress one day would come to die.
As she'd experienced them, these events were surely real, taking place in the real life world in which she existed.
But none of these things felt real to her. She felt as if she was scraping at a locked door that contained her emotions on the other side. A door to which she couldn't find the key. Scraping and tearing until she had no choice but to give up, realising she couldn't open it.
She knew why she couldn't.
She had lost her humanity. She had lost the one thing she had fought so hard for to protect during all those months before Millennium had struck London.
The remains of her hoping that her emotions would still be with her after embracing bloodlust had long since faded. Not before long, her actual emotions themselves had slipped from her grasp.
However, Seras Victoria had now decided to attempt the one thing no vampire before her had tried: She decided to try and get her humanity back.
She would sometimes summon forth Pip, her familiar.
It was always bizarre to summon forth her… well, dead lover, out of her left arm, which in reality consisted of nothing but swirling shadows.
She would sit down and talk to him.
Confess to him about how she missed her humanity, her dreams, her passions.
Now she was nothing but bland. Hollow. Empty.
The Frenchman would listen to her and come with advice or supportive words; however, nothing would be of help.
Seras would always notice of how monotone her voice sounded, even when talking about Walter, whom she'd taken such a liking to.
When she spoke of Alucard's return, try as she might to pull her lips into a smile, it felt as if she had forgotten how to.
The muscles in her face felt frozen, fixed in place to form nothing but a cold, neutral expression.
It wasn't until one day, when the female vampire entered the Hellsing kitchen and caught sight of a newspaper that she was filled with new hope, albeit small.
The advert stated that a certain rock band was returning to play live in London one evening.
It was the band she had listened to as a teenager back at the dreadful orphanage; it was them who had written the songs she would listen to whenever things got too rough.
Locking herself into her tiny room with nothing but her mobile phone and a pair of earphones… Their music was the one thing she would cling to, because even if she had nothing as well as no one left, the music and lyrics of those songs would still speak out to her. Convince her to stay.
That picture in the newspaper, showcasing the five male members, brought back memories of their music itself. She tried taking in every detail of the photo, wanting to soak it up like a sponge; the black hair of the lead singer, how tall the drummer was and how cool those electric guitars looked.
Even though they had aged over thirty years they still looked the same to her.
Most importantly, they would still sound the same.
And Seras Victoria decided that if seeing her old favourite band live in an arena surrounded by a massive audience wouldn't make her feel human again, nothing would.
So the female vampire snuck into London on the night of the performance, easily cloaking herself from human view with the help of shadows and mist.
People were steadily filling the outdoor stadium.
Struggling to push past people without causing suspicion, Seras made her way to the front row.
A large set of drums were planted at the back of the stage and two microphone stands looked at the ready at the edges of the scene.
The air was thick with the scent of alcohol and sweat.
As more and more people filled the huge space, Seras figured it would be fine to release her hold of the shadows thus making herself visible.
She wanted to be part of the human audience.
As the band walked out onto the stage, the sound of loud applause, cheers and yells broke out through the arena.
The sound would have been painfully loud to Seras' ears, had she still been human.
The behaviour of the audience was contagious, almost like a form of mass hypnosis.
Seras found herself raising her fist into the air just like everyone else, she was jumping up and down just like everyone else, and she was smiling and shouting, just like everyone else.
Inside, she felt absolutely nothing.
For all she knew, she might as well have been standing completely still with a stone cold expression on her face.
As the lead singer blasted out the first song of the evening, the crowd around the female vampire exploded with excitement and energy.
Seras remembered every word of every stanza, knew exactly where the guitars would kick in and at which part the singer would hit that high note.
All memories from the orphanage flooded back to her.
All the abuse, all the name-calling, all the tears came back to her in that instant.
Seras was only an unbiased bystander, incapable of feel as memories flooded past her in a river of emotions she couldn't experience anymore.
One memory in particular made itself reminded.
She was nothing but a child again, crawled up next to her dead mother's body. She was crying, and she felt oh so broken inside.
And as she stood there with her hands in the air, jumping and screaming with each and every song, Seras Victoria knew one thing.
She would never have to cry like that again.
That's all for now, folks! I hope you enjoyed reading this tidbit, and I would be very happy if you could review this so to let me know what you thought of it! I've always pictured Seras to enjoy rock music, such as the likes of Green Day or My Chemical Romance or alike... But that's just my opinion. I didn't give this story much planning as I am working on something else... *que Beethoven's 5th Symphony* Jokes aside, I hope you enjoyed this one-shot and please review! ^_^