Creationist Theory
By Vixen
Not my best writing, but I still kinda like it. It's my last final goodbye to the world of Buffy through a little thing I like to call fanfiction.
The four original members of the Scooby gang crept towards the end of long hallway. It was down to them, the last survivors of the army who had tried to take back the night. This was it, the final battle, and hand in hand they met it bravely.
"Alright, Will, you know what to do right?" Buffy looked over towards the redhead.
"Yep," She said without a pause. Once again she was one of the key players, the witch. She would not fail, she had promised to be standing when the end came and here it was.
"This is really going to work?" Xander turned his head towards the others.
Willow nodded enthusiastically, "When I throw the powder on The First, it'll be unable to escape. It'll turn corporeal—"
"And then Buffy can kick it's ass," Xander grinned.
"Precisely," Giles put in while readying his broadsword.
At last they came to the end of the room, where a large thrown made of human skulls was placed, The First lounging in it peacefully.
"Everyone into positions!" Like a general, Buffy commanded her troops effectively. Willow held the bag of powder out, readying herself. Xander and Giles held the rear, waiting to back Buffy up when the fighting broke out. Buffy herself stood in the front, willing to receive the brunt of the attack.
The First laughed, filling the room with its cruel noise, "Do you really think you're ready?"
Buffy involuntarily shuddered a bit, The First looked just like her in the form it had chosen for the last battle. "Will now!"
"Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum!" Willow chanted in the magic Latin of doom. She then took a handful of pixie dust and blew it towards The First.
The First didn't seem to be affected the first few seconds, it just sneezed a little, "What are you trying to do, Witch?" A few more seconds passed, and then it began, an inhumanely pitiful wailing that caused Buffy and the rest to cover their ears lest they go deaf. "I'm melting.. melting.." The First shook its fist, as it slowly became tangible, taking on it's true form. It's shape shifting days were over, "What a world, what a world.."
Buffy uncovered her ears as soon as the sound had died down, and now stood in awe as The First took it's true form, "To quote Spike, 'Who the bloody hell are you'!"
"I am Joss Whedon, now quake with fear you tiny fools!" He hopped down from the thrown, obviously not willing to give up the fight so easily.
"Umm.. I'm still drawing a blank," Buffy shrugged and then turned back towards Giles to ask his expertise, "Giles... er, Giles…?" In shock, she saw that the other three were now on their knees in what appeared to be reverent worship. "Giles?!"
"Don't you know who he is Buffy?" The Watcher's eyes were wild with fear, "He's the source, the creator, the Buffyverse God!"
"Oh come on," Buffy turned back to Joss, narrowing her eyes, "I've faced down a God before, and I can do it again."
"Yes, Glory.. that was a good season.. the critics gave rave reviews," He shook his head, he was getting off track, "But I am above her. Even Glory trembles before my power."
"She would. She's evil like that. But I'm fighting for the other side," Buffy picked up her scythe, aiming to strike.
Joss pulled out a pen and paper and wrote something on it, immediately Buffy put down the scythe. "Don't you see? It doesn't matter if you're evil, or good, or both. I control you all. There's a little piece of me in everything that makes up your world."
Buffy looked at her hands, they were moving by themselves, dropping the scythe on the floor. "How – how did you do that?"
"I told you. I control you." He held up the pen and paper, "All with the magic contained in these two instruments."
Buffy slowly backed away, feeling more worried, "What – what do you want? Why are you doing this to us?"
"I just want a nap," Joss sighed, "I grow weary of this world. Keeping you in pain all these years is hard work, but I've got to give the fans what they want."
"Fans?"
Joss pulled a remote control out of his pocket, "See for yourself," he said as he pointed it to the wall of the room. Buffy for the first time noticed that the wall was made up of hundreds of televisions all stacked on top of each other, but they were different then ordinary televisions, for they saw into the audience. "There are millions of people out there who watch you every Tuesday night,"
Xander, who was still kneeling gasped, "I always wondered why all hell seemed to break out on Tuesdays.."
"Quiet infidel!" Joss shouted back at him.
"Yes, oh great wise ruler of us all." Xander mumbled.
Buffy walked towards the televisions, placing her hand on one of them and silently peering into another world, a world where her adventures were just another form of entertainment. A tear flowed down her face and she turned back to Joss, "All this time, I've been fighting.. I was doing it for them.."
"Not just the fighting, I wrote nice stuff in. Sexy stuff to give you a break every now and then, lull you into a false sense of security. There was Angel—"
"Who I ran a sword through."
"Tara—"
"Who died," Willow added.
"Jenny—"
"Also dead," Giles piped in.
"Okay, okay, so your lives have sucked. What do you want me to do about it? I need the ratings!"
"You did it all for the ratings didn't you? Didn't you! You screwed up my life just so you could get rich off your stupid ratings!"
"Hey now," Joss got to his feet, "Just wait a second, let's not forget who gave you life in the first place."
"And what a 'wonderful' life it's been."
Joss sighed, hanging his head. "I never meant for it to go this far, Buffy. But you have to understand, you were their hero. I created you to be the strong one, the fearless one, the one who could walk into a darkened alley, get attacked, but still kick the other guys butt in the end. All heroes go through tests, trials, judgments." He paused, "And you passed every one." Joss stood up, walking towards the television sets, "Look out there, what do you see?"
Buffy crossed her arms, "A lot of people very happy to see me suffer."
"You only see one side of it, then." Joss put his hand on her shoulder as they both looked out into an audience full of fans, "Buffy, you changed their lives in ways you can't begin to imagine." He pointed to a girl with vibrantly colored hair who was sitting with her finance in a small dorm room, "See them? They met in a Buffy chat room and now they're getting married in a month." Joss pointed to another television set, where a guy with blond hair was fiddling with av equipment, "And him? He rose to fame as the Wildfeed King, and now people just adore him and his shiny Windex." Joss moved past a few more, stopping at a set that showed a sheep on the other side.
"Sheep watch me too?!"
"Oh, Sheeps think your grade A excellent!" Joss paused, "But this sheep is special. This is the magical DaWondersheep who is very strange and.. disturbing to say the least, but I bet she'll never look at a corn pop the same way again." He grabbed her shoulders, making her look at him in the eyes, "You did so much for them, but there's one more thing they need."
"What's that?" Buffy looked wary.
"A good, final death scene to help them find closure after these seven years. To teach them how to say good bye."
Buffy backed away, running to the other side of the room, "No! No, they don't need that. They still need me!"
"Pfft. They've got Angel."
"He's got a show too?"
"It's why he left, Buffy. He wanted to make it big in prime time without you," Joss said as he neared her, blocking her into a corner.
"Well, God or no god," Buffy kicked him in the balls, and then thrust her knee into his head knocking him unconscious for the moment, "I'm still the slayer!" While he was unconscious, Buffy rifled through his pockets, looking for the magic pen and paper he had used.
"Buffy, I can't believe you did that," Willow came rushing over to her, giving her friend a huge hug. Xander and Giles ran over to the two girls and joined in the group hug.
"It's not over though, not yet." Buffy broke away from the hug for a moment, looking down at the paper, wondering what she could write to put a good ending to her battles. There were only six words she could think of, her hand gripped the pen as it moved over the paper, "'And they lived happily ever after'."
With that done, Buffy ripped the paper up. It let forth a brilliant gold light as the magic contained in the manuscript was released into the air. "Come on," She grinned to her friends, "Let's go."
As they walked out of the room, hand in hand, the way they had come in, the Scoobies could hear Joss starting to wake up, "No. No!! This isn't fair. You were mine, I created you. I'll be back. I'll be back!!"
The Scoobies glanced back for a second, before Xander shrugged and said, "Hey, maybe we'll get a movie deal."
"Or a spin-off," Willow added, "Come on, 'Willow: The White Witch' kind of has a good ring to it."
"I was kind of thinking, 'Giles: The Ripper' myself," The watcher put in.
"I still can't believe Angel has his own show." Xander shook his head.
Buffy laughed and followed the rest of them out into the sunlight, all the while thinking, 'Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, I am free at last!'
THE END