A Very Cracky Christmas
By Mistress Titania
Disclaimer- No I don't own any of these, but oh do I wish so.
Warnings- crack, very cracky crack, as long as your caught up to last aired US episode there shouldn't be any spoilers for any show
Rating: M, language I think
Also as another writer put it, the TARDIS translates everything into American. This is especially true due not wanting a headache from Canadian, Scottish, English, Southern and New York accents.
Chars and the Shows-
Supernatural- Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Bobby Singer, Ellen Harvelle, Castiel
Heroes- Peter Petrelli, Claude Raines, Noah Bennet, Sylar, Elle Bishop, Angela Petrelli, Adam Monroe,
Buffy The Vampire Slayer- Dawn Summers, Willow Rosenberg, Faith Lehane, Rupert Giles, Xander Harris
Torchwood- Captain Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato, Gwen Cooper, Rhys Williams, PC Andy
Doctor Who- The Master(simm), Donna Noble, Wilfred Mott, The Doctor(10th), Jenny, Sally Sparrow, Sarah Jane, Luke Smith, Martha Jones, Mickey Smith
Eureka- Nathan Stark. Jack Carter, Zane Taylor, Jo Lupo, Zoe Carter, Douglas Fargo, Vincent
Stargate Atlantis- Carson Beckett, Rodney McKay, John Sheppard
Pairings- Elle Bishop/Faith Lehane, Angela Petrelli/Rupert Giles, Ianto Jones/Jack Harkness, Peter/Claude, Willow Rosenberg/Toshiko Sato/Owen Harper, Gwen Cooper/Rhys Williams, Dean Winchester/Castiel, Dawn Summers/Jenny, Xander Harris/Spike, Sally Sparrow/Sam Winchester, Noah Bennet/Martha Jones, Nathan Stark/Jack Carter, Jo Lupo/Zane Taylor, Zoe Carter/Luke Smith, PC Andy/Douglas Fargo, Rodney McKay/John Sheppard, Carson Beckett/Sarah Jane, The Doctor/The Master, Donna Noble/Adam Monroe
At the end I have a brief explanation of why I paired who with who and most of the pairings are just on the sidelines for now, I might write other holiday fics in the future(New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day, Passover, etc)-
The Doctor stared at the door of the TARDIS trying to decide if he actually wanted to leave the safety of console room. While by all intents it should safe after all it was Earth in year 2008 and he was in Cardiff refueling. But the last few Christmas on Earth had not been pleasant for the Doctor. Or at least a good portion of the day was not.
There was the invasion of Scyorax just after he'd regenerated. Next was the Empress of the Racnoss, which was where he met Donna for the first time. Last year was that idiot Max Capricorn and poor Astrid. Added in there was when Rose & he met Charles Dickens and the Gelth, sealing the rift for the first time. The Doctor refuses to even think about the Christmas spent aboard the Valiant. It would appear that Christmas is becoming as cursed for the Doctor as wearing his tuxedo is. Maybe he really should think about choosing a different tuxedo maker than the one James Bond uses.
Just then there was a knocking on the TARDIS door before a head peeked inside.
"Sarah Jane warned me you might show up and be antisocial after she got the call from Wilfred. Well, hurry up and get out here. The food was getting cold so they elected me to come and retrieve you," said a male voice that the Doctor did not find at all familiar.
"What? What?!" snapped the Doctor. "Who are you?"
"I'm Xander Harris at your service. I come every year to Jack's annual 'We-Save-The-World-Once-A-Week-Now-Let-Us-Drink-And-Party'. At least every year since I met him in the summer after I graduated high school. Funny story, tried to stake the poor guy, but then I had just seen him get drained by a vampire and walk away. He forgave me since then because I taught him how to get blood out of his clothes before Ianto yelled."
The Doctor just stared a little confused.
Xander just rolled his eyes and reached in grabbing the Doctor by his arm and dragging him outside. In the courtyard around the fountain were a series of tents, it looked like a wedding might have been taking place. Except for the signs that said "Only those with a pulse may enter with the noted exceptions: K-9, Spike, Angel, Castiel, and Owen Harper."
"Welcome to our weird and wild bunch. Um, a few people wanted me to warn you that we did find a way to fix Donna without killing her. But in doing so we kinda brought your ex-boyfriend back to life."
"What?!" asked the Doctor, very much puzzled because after all he was asexual.
"The only name he would give was Master, which I'm all for kinky but please keep your games out of the eyes and ear of the children," said Xander as he lead the Doctor into the nearest tent.
That was also when the Doctor noticed another sign "Have no worries as the following have spells to restrain or make them powerless- Sylar, The Master, Illyria and Douglas Fargo"
Xander still giggled every time he passes the sign that Dawn made. He quickly hands a name tag for the Doctor to wear.
"Here, everyone has one, they read your name and species. Now, I've done my job and I'm going to go mingle while looking for my little vamp," says Xander before disappearing in the large crown of people.
The Doctor stands there taking in all the decorations. There is a strange mixture of Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza and Winter Solstice. Alien blended in all around them, talking to demons, talking to angels and even plain humans. It actually made the Doctor a bit choked up. This room right here was the reason to keep fighting. This really was the ultimate goal, this acceptance. Maybe it was a good thing that strange man dragged him here. Although the Doctor really did want to know what he meant about reviving the Master.
"Doctor! You did come! Oh I'm so glad to see you!" a young woman rushed up to hug the Doctor.
"Sarah Jane! Oh this is fantastic! You are looking lovely as ever," the Doctor looked around. "Is your son here? I would love to met him face to face after having saved the world together."
"He's around here somewhere with the younger people. I think he found a new girlfriend, she very smart and bright, I approve. Not to sure if the girl's fathers do or not but since they live in America it will most be long distance dating. But enough about Luke's love life. There is someone I want you too meet. Doctor, please meet Doctor Carson Beckett, my fiancée," said Sarah Jane as she pushed the shy younger man forward.
"It's an honor to meet you, sir. I've heard much about you from both Sarah Jane and Rodney," said Carson quietly as he put his hand out to shake.
The Doctor shook the hand with a smile plastered to his face. He really never expected Sarah Jane to have moved on. And didn't that sting the ego a bit.
"Congratulations to the booth of you. Please call me with the wedding information, Sarah Jane," and with that the Doctor fled to another part of the tent.
He had only had a brief moment to get his thoughts together when another female was calling his name.
"Doctor! Over here!" said a young perky voice.
The Doctor headed over to a table where a young woman sat along with four men, three of which were way too attractive, especially with Captain Jack roaming around.
"Sally Sparrow! How are you?" asked the Doctor while accepting the seat offered.
"I'm doing very well, Doctor. After the literal world shaking came my view of the world shaken again but in a good way, yet again. I was able to meet my lovely boyfriend Sam Winchester. I am now traveling around America with his brother and him. Though I have to admit I'm still cavorting with angels."
"What?!" the Doctor jumped to his feet looking around frantically.
"Wow, pay-up Dean, I did what you asked," said Sally with a grin. "Doctor, calm down. It's not those type of angels. I would like you to meet Dean's boyfriend Castiel messenger of God, Castiel meet The Doctor, sometimes known as the lonely God or the oncoming storm."
The two 'men' sized each other up for a moment staring deep into the others eyes.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" Both men spoke at once. This caused those around them to burst into a fit of giggles.
"I'd still like to go on a trip sometime, Doctor. We are in the middle of something right now but can I give you a call afterward?" asked Sally.
"Sure," said the Doctor.
"Doctor, I was sent to get you, again," muttered an annoyed Xander. "Apparently you really need to meet Dawn's new girlfriend. So sorry boys and girls but I'm taking the good Doctor away now."
The Doctor followed behind Xander maneuvering through the crowd of people who all looked vaguely familiar, maybe just from reading about their adventures, but still vaguely familiar. When they got to the corner of a tent Xander stepped back and let the Doctor see who he was supposed to meeting.
"Impossible!" gasped the Doctor feeling his legs go out from under him at the sight of the young woman before him. He distantly felt someone grab him and place him in chair before patting his shoulder in comforting manner.
"Breathe, Theta, breathe. Imagine my own shock upon seeing her for the first time. I thought you cheated on me! But once she was no longer turning blue she explained to me how she came about," said a male voice standing behind the Doctor.
"J-jenny, your alive!" And not able to help it the Doctor had tears well up. In fact everyone watching the reunion got teary eyed.
"Daddy!" shouted the young woman as she threw herself into his arms. Once she'd collected her self and stood back-up. "There is someone I want you too meet, this is Dawn Summers and she is my girlfriend."
The Doctor looked over at the girl and gasped. His daughter, the time lady was in love with the Key in human form. But really what better pair, no having to watch the other die without you. It was then the Doctor realized who had helped him sit down and quickly stood up to look behind him.
Standing there was the Master in a very clean and neat suit. And above the Master was a sprig of floating mistletoe. Deciding not waste the chance again the Doctor quickly grabbed the Master into a deep and passionate kiss.
"Hello again, my Theta."
"Hello, my Master"
"HEY I SAID NO KINKY SEX GAMES IN FRONT OF THE KIDS!" yelled Xander.
"Sorry, Xander!" yelled back an embarrassed Toshiko.
Everyone else laughed.
With one arm around the Master and the other around Jenny, our dear Doctor took time to look around the crowded area. There really were many faces he knew here, all happy faces. Maybe Sarah Jane was right, he did have a very large family that was there for him.
"Merry Christmas" whispered the Doctor.
He then quickly dragged the Master over to the buffet line. After all Vincent from Eureka had made all the food. And there looked to be some specialties from Gallifrey. One never questioned how Vincent managed what he does.
Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!
My reasons for the pairings-
Jo/Zane- I love both characters and they deserve to be happy
Zoe/Luke- both are very bright and don't fit to well in the 'real' world, plus hey Carter will like him because most of the time there will be an ocean between them.
Andy/Fargo- again I love both characters and think they get ignored to often, plus Andy is much better than any canon love interest for Fargo.
Rodney/John- yet another OTP
The Doctor/The Master- please there was so much vibing that they had to be exes or at least have UST
Noah/Martha- he likes strong women, she falls for guys that save her life but also can keep up with her brains
Donna/Adam- Hmm, not sure why but they struck me as a pair that could work fairly well.
Carson/Sarah Jane- okay I actually have a back-story worked out for this, see Carson met Sarah Jane while he was in college but she wouldn't have a thing to do with him because he was so much younger, he runs into her again at one of these events and falls head over heels again, this time with Luke's help Sarah Jane can't resist and will be spending the next term with Carson on Atlantis.
Dean/Castiel- because he's one smoking hot angel who could help poor Dean
Dawn/Jenny- I could see this starting out as becoming a Watcher for Jenny, while she might not be a slayer, she has all the characters of a slayer and then it moved into something more.
Xander/Spike- my OTP from BtVS and probably always will be
Sally/Sam- mostly because Sally eventually ends up opening a bookstore plus she handle the weird very well and would be a much better match for Sam than a demon.
Nathan/Jack- please this pair is why I started watching Eureka in the first place
Elle/Faith- because it would be hot? No, really I think they might just make a good pair, I think Faith could handle the sadistic tendencies fine and Elle can hunt demons with Faith.
Angela/Rupert- both no what positions of powers are like, trying to both save and control the world at times, having those younger not listen, both having lost loved ones to stupidity(Arthur Petrelli and Ethan Rayne)
Ianto/Jack- sorry my OTP in Torchwood
Peter/Claude- because Peter needs a short leash and Claude needs to come back!
Willow/Toshiko/Owen- come on they are smart attractive women who deal in the world of weird, plus I'm sure Willow could figure out a way for Owen to join them properly.
Gwen/Rhys- one of the few bits of canon I won't mess with