A/N: This is the sequel to 'My Snow Angel' posted by Inuzuka Notori. We write joint stories together on occasion and take turns posting. So, if you haven't read 'My Snow Angel' yet, please go do so. If you have... enjoy this continuation of it! :)
Notori: I love this story T-T...
It had been a little under a week since Shizuru's birthday party, and in that time I had been thrown with invitations to spend Christmas with them. Her parents seemed more than willing, Shizuru too, although I could tell she was still nervous. Hell, the first thing she said was "Don't worry, we have plenty of rooms here." It worried me a bit, but there isn't much I can do. It's how she is-- part of what makes her who she is; one of the reasons I'm her friend is because I know how sensitive she is. Her friend...
I shook my head and leaned back on the mattress. I didn't want to delve into that topic now, otherwise I would be stuck on it for a long time... too long.
The night of Shizuru's birthday party was late and ran well into the early hours of the morning. Preparing for that, I had brought along a bag of clothes in order to stay the night, assuming that Shizuru wouldn't let me head home to Fuuka even if I tried. I had planned to leave in the morning, but Shizuru asked if I could stay longer, if not only for the rest of the day. Her parents heard her ask and immediately invited me to stay for a few more days, and then they went into their Christmas invitations soon after. They were very accommodating of me, Shizuru's parents. I had never met them before and they weren't exactly what I was expecting.
When I was taken to the guest room that day, Shizuru's mother had become... motherly on me.
------
"Do you need help unpacking Natsuki-chan?" Kaede, Shizuru's mother, had asked me while I sat on the floor of a guest room. Even though I only had one backpack with me, I guess she couldn't help herself from her hostess nature. I simply smiled and told her I was fine as I dumped the remainder of my clothing on the bed. There honestly wasn't much... not enough to realistically get through the week anyway, especially with - let's face it - fancy people like the Fujinos. I sighed and went back to work, thinking about my current situation.
Here I was in my best friend's house, No... Shizuru's house... huh? I mentally smacked myself for that, Argh, she IS my best friend? What's the point of specifying HER? I was actually excited about this, to tell the truth. It wasn't often that I got to have a sleepover, let alone in such a high class place with these nice people. Not that Mai isn't nice, but she has her hands full most of the time so I try not to bother her. This really felt like it was going to be a fun vacation, despite how nervous I get around strangers. At least I would have Shizuru to walk me through things and hopefully do most of the talking. I could tell this was going to be an eventful couple of weeks though, one thing I definitely know about Shizuru is that, contrary to her quiet air, she can make everything around her entertaining... which now includes me. I gotta be on guard for teasing... She could strike at any moment...
"Natsuki? Do you really have only those two shirts?" she asked me, I only shot a glare at her.
"I wasn't expecting to stay this long," I pouted, "I only brought enough for one night..."
"In that case I will lend you some of my clothing," before I could even mutter something in protest, the girl had run off to her room, coming back with an armful of tops and pants.
"Eh? Ah... Thanks..." I took them and placed the pile on the bed, taking only the top piece to hold up from shoulder to shoulder. It'll fit fine... I was about to change right then and there, even going so far as to pull my shirt up halfway before dropping it instantly and turning around to face Shizuru who was grinning impishly. I frowned in mock annoyance and pointed to the door, "Out!"
"Ara, but this is my house," she teased me yet again, and with one that I couldn't figure out how to make a comeback to.
"But... I... You said-!"
She sighed and stood up, walking to the door.
"I'm only joking Natsuki," she smiled, "Come meet me downstairs when you're done and we can eat. My parents want to get to know you in more detail now that you've spent one night."
Shizuru was rather quiet about that. Turning serious all of a sudden when I thought we were just playing around like old times. A part of me didn't understand it, but another part told me not to try; like it was something I couldn't know of unless I was a part of her thoughts. I wish she would realize that I had sincerely forgiven her at that time. In my opinion, those who knew what she did to me weren't allowed to hold that against her. They can't because I don't. Maybe, though, she herself is unable to accept my forgiveness. Unable to accept what she did...
I shook my head. No need to over think that today. Winter break was to be a relaxing time of year. And that was what Shizuru and I were going to do. Relax and have fun. I'd make sure of that.
After pulling the shirt over my head, I noticed it felt... baggy. Baggy in strange places. I looked down to see that where the shirt was supposed to cling to my... frontal area, was a little loose. I felt heat fill my cheeks and frowned immediately. The shirt was too big for my boobs. "Shizuru!" I cried out in annoyance.
Shizuru popped her head back into the room. "Natsuki sure makes a lot of noise," she commented in her usual teasing voice. Her eyes drifted down the area of the shirt that was causing my distress. "Ara." She placed her hand over her mouth and her shoulders shook. She was giggling. Damn her.
"Shizuru!" I grabbed a nearby pillow and chucked it at her.
She dodged easily, but I surprised her by running at her with another. "Natsuki!" she snorted with laughter before running away.
As the chase continued, her laughter didn't stop, and she didn't cover it up with her hand. It was... nice, her smiling face. I would have to get her to make it again sometime soon.
------
A couple of days later, I woke up earlier than the rest of the family. Well, so I had thought because the sun had just started to rise. When I got downstairs, I was ushered into what I assumed was a dining room by one of the servants that had been milling about. I told her I had some stuff to go out and do, but she said something about me having breakfast before doing anything. Not one to ignore free food, I willing followed her in (it was traditionally styled) but was a little startled to find Shizuru's parents sitting at the low table already. I was told to sit down by her father, Hiroshi, so I gathered up my courage and knelt down onto one of the cushions placed on the floor.
"So, Kuga-san, how is your school going this year?" asked her father.
"Uh, alright I guess," I responded as vaguely as I could. I wasn't about to tell him I was working my butt off and receiving decent grades, because then I might have to explain why I'm working my butt off. I wont fail another grade. Shizuru had enough ammo as is was.
Kaede smiled warmly at me and swallowed her bite of rice. "You and Shizuru are pretty close, hmmm?"
"I guess, yeah."
"Are there any boys that we should be aware of from Shizuru-chan's high school?" she asked. I flushed immediately.
Most awkward breakfast of my life.
Though, at the same time, one of the most delicious. It reminded me of Mai's cooking, which I had pretty much been living on for the last... a lot of months.
Luckily I managed to get out right after eating because her dad had to go finish up some business he had from work. I grabbed my jacket from my room before heading for the front door. In the back of my mind I wondered how long Shizuru slept in for, but it was still pretty early, so I wouldn't judge. We had stayed up pretty late the night before watching some cheesy American Christmas special on television.
It wasn't long before I was back in the house. No, not because I was done what I needed to do, but because I realized I didn't know where the valet from the night of Shizuru's party, had moved my Ducati. It had taken him awhile to convince me that he knew how to drive one and that he wouldn't mess it up in any manner. That Ducati had lasted longer than two of my old ones when combining their age and I had grown quite attached to it.
By the time I tracked down someone who knew where it was, got into town, picked up what I needed to at a nearby mall, stopped by the tree lot, and made it back to the house, it must have almost been time for lunch.
I tucked the bag with Shizuru's gift into my backpack for safekeeping and opened the other bag, dumping its contents onto the floor. Boxes of mini ornaments slipped out and clunked onto the floor along with a small plastic tree stand. I unraveled a small tree-- seriously? It reached my knees-- and placed it into the hole of the stand. I shuffled back to admire my new companion. It fell. Damn little thing. I reached forward to adjust its position and tightened the twists on the stand. I released my hold on it. It fell. Fuck! I stood it back up one more time and held it in place, contemplating what to do.
A giggle from behind me made me freeze. No. Oh please, I didn't need teasing right--
"Does Natsuki need help with that?"
...now. Aw man.
"Shizuru!" I whipped around only to hear a soft plunk from in front of me. The tree had fallen for a third time. "God damn it," I hissed.
Another giggle turned my attention to Shizuru, who had walked into the room a few more steps. She didn't have pajamas on, so I assumed she had gotten up awhile ago and showered and changed before coming here. "You know we have a big tree downstairs, if Natsuki wanted to help me decorate that one, Natsuki could have just asked."
"I know that!" I blurted out, face flushed. "I just wanted one for my room is all. Problem with that?"
Shizuru grinned and shook her head. "Of course not, Natsuki is allowed to have whatever she wants." I watched as she approached the little tree and knelt down beside me. She reached out to pull it back up. "Is this what you normally do?" She held the tree out for me. "Hold this for a second please."
"Yeah," I replied. Shizuru bent over and turned her head sideways, beginning to adjust the tree stand for me. "I've done it since I was little. I always wanted to help mom and dad decorate, but I couldn't reach very high, so dad would set up a small tree for me." It had been a long time since I mentioned my parents, but if it was with Shizuru, it was fine. She stopped her movement under the little tree, and I watched as her shoulders shook a little. The silence was ended by a stifled giggle. What was she...
"So the tiny tree is an ego-boost then?"
I blinked. Ego boost? Why that little... "No, Idiot!"
Shizuru sighed before coming out from under the tree. I released my hold of it. It stayed. Damn it, how can she do everything with such ease? "Is there anything else Natsuki does on Christmas? My family and I are more than happy to accommodate you."
I frowned. "Don't sound so formal," I told her. What else did I do? I hadn't really spent Christmas with anyone else before meeting her. The small tree was really the only special thing I did during the holiday. Well, that and watch some action flicks to pass the time. But when I was with my family... We were normal, I thought. Well, as normal as a genetic scientist and her magical daughter could be. "I think we did all the normal stuff. What do you guys do?"
She placed her finger to her chin and cocked her head a little. If her fan girls were here, they probably be squealing with delight. Well, not for long, because if they were here, I'd probably make sure they'd never be able to squeal again. Ever. "We have typical Christmas traditions too, although, since my birthday is so close to Christmas, my extended family usually comes for one or the other." Oh crap. More family I'd have to put up with? "This year, since I was home, they came for my birthday," she paused. "It will be... It will be very peaceful I think."
I released a breath I didn't really know I was holding. "Good," I said firmly. "Three of you Fujinos are enough for me."
Shizuru chuckled. "We're not that bad, are we?" She seemed to get the point from my continued silence and stare. "Alright, alright," she waved her hands defensively. "I suppose we are an... acquired taste of sorts. I'll admit, I think some of my relatives are even more eccentric than me." She winked.
"More than you?" I snorted. "It's hard to believe such a person could exist."
She smiled, her eyes glowing. "Well, would you at least let this eccentric person help you decorate your tiny tree?"
"I'll even let you put the star on top."
-------
I blinked as Shizuru's voice brought me from my thoughts. I pushed off of the mattress behind me to see her standing in my doorway.
"Natsuki?" She walked up to me, hiding something behind her back. It looked like a piece of paper, but I couldn't really tell. And when I tried to sneak a look at it by peaking behind her, she just swayed her body in that direction to block me. "Na-tsu-ki," I made another attempt to look. "Am I so boring that Natsuki is only interested in what is behind me?" She turned her head and pouted, lip quivering with what I knew was fake sadness.
But I couldn't help it. She looked so... upset. "No! You're very interesting, trust me. But, what's behind your back, c'mon, it's killing me."
She whipped the object out from behind her and presented it to me. It was a card with decorations on it. "Here you go Natsuki."
I took the card from her hands and held it up so that I could read it. "You, Kuga Natsuki, are formally invited to the Fujino's New Years ball. What? Shizuru, you know you could have just told me about this? I'm right down the hall from you, you know."
"Ara, I wanted to formally invite Natsuki this time, so that she didn't feel she had to crash another party."
I flinched. It wasn't like I was trying to crash it.... I just.... wanted to be with her. Like I said that night, we always spent our birthdays together, and not being invited hurt; especially since I already missed spending time with her now that we were going to different schools. In any case I put aside my own form of teasing, the blank stare, and looked at her sincerely.
"Thank you, Shizuru. I can see you put a lot of work into this too," I paused for a minute, looking down at the card once more, "Shizuru can we-"
"Dinner is ready Shizuru-ojou-sama, Kuga-han," the servant interrupted us, "Please come to the dining room."
My mouth hung open for a split second while staring into Shizuru's deep red eyes. Despite being called away by the servant, her attention remained focused solely on me. She nodded in acknowledgement, signalling that we would be down there soon, but still never looked away. It was a reminder, a reminder of a lot of things, but as I thought, I wasn't afraid. I stood up and smiled.
"It's alright, it can wait. I'm starving," I gave a light hearted smile while rubbing the back of my head... actually I was more nervous about the upcoming meal. This wasn't even a normal awkward time of eating with her family, but Christmas Dinner. Needless to say, the food was plentiful. So much so that I would have to stand slightly in order to meet Kaede's eyes. Luckily Shizuru sat next to me, of course, so I was able to fall back on her normality and understanding of etiquette whenever needed.
Another thing I saw coming was the amount of talking. Both of Shizuru's parents were very interested in their daughter's graduating year, I'm not surprised, but it pained me to see the look on her face when she had to nod and smile for what seemed like the millionth time. Then they turned to me, jokingly asking if I would tell Shizuru's secrets to them. This terrified me. The looks on their faces were so innocent, thinking the worst was their child getting a B grade in a class, or going to a party past her normal bedtime... And all I could do was nod along the same way.
"Ahaha well..." I trailed off, "I guess Shizuru's secret is she hasn't had much of a social life. She's been really focused..." I wasn't going to lie. I promised myself that. If they assumed I meant on schoolwork, fine by me, but I was honest in saying she was focused. Fortunately they did and moved the topic onto the girl's honours momentarily. Momentarily.
"Oh but Shizuru-chan," Kaede started, "As much as we appreciate hearing about your excellent grades, maybe you should try meeting some people," both girls stiffened and blinked, "I bet the boys are all over you at school, why don't you go on a date with them?"
I could hear the sharp gasp Shizuru emitted, no matter how much she tried to cover it up. Worse, when I looked to my side to see her reaction, I felt my heart break. True, when I saw her truly happy it was amazing... but fairly, seeing her genuinely sad was overwhelming. It was then it clicked in my slow brain, how unaware her parents were, Suggesting boys? But Shizuru likes... oh... they don't know...
Even if time ceased to exist for that moment in my mind, I knew the others didn't see it that way. Every second that passed in silence I could see Shizuru tense more; I was determined to stop this.
"Eheheh I guess that's my fault too," I said shyly. Shizuru almost lost it right there, thinking I was going to be so brazen and out her to them, but I brought it to a close fast, "My grades aren't the greatest... I've probably asked her to tutor me too often."
"Ah! I see then, that's very nice of you Shizuru, but how about now that you're starting university you keep trying?"
No! I clenched my eyes shut. It wasn't fair. Why should she have to endure talks like these any longer than she has to? At all! Anyone can see how much she's hating this right now... she doesn't have any interest in what you're saying! Let her take her time too! If you knew... if only you knew...
While I was lost in my thoughts, I could still hear Shizuru's voice faintly over my own. She seemed to have gone into her emotionless state, all business.
"While I appreciate you trying to help me Mother, my heart is a closed matter," she was polite about it of course, but stood her ground, "And for the record, I am not the type to date many and then decide... my heart belongs to one, and only one person."
I think Kaede could tell her daughter didn't want to speak anymore. Even though I knew it long before... Whatever, not like it's a contest really...
Shizuru's father, Hiroshi, came to her rescue, probably sensing she was very uncomfortable. Heck, I think all of us were. But still, we shouldn't have to be. It was stupid. "So, Shizuru, did you give Kuga-han that invitation?"
Shizuru nodded and looked over at him. "Yes father." She seemed a little down still, but her parents didn't seem to notice, or at least didn't comment on it. I wanted her to be able to smile like she had when we were decorating the tree. She deserved to smile like that all the time. Though perhaps I was being selfish, wanting her to be happy when she was still dealing with things...
"Good. And, Kuga-han, are you able to stay for New Years?"
"Yes, I am," I replied.
He nodded. "No plans with your family?"
I almost choked on my food. Didn't he know?
"Father," Shizuru started weakly. She looked from him to me, her mouth open but it seemed like she didn't know what to say.
I placed my hand on her thigh under the table discretely. It was okay. "Ah, well, they aren't around anymore. I live on my own, or used to. I live in the dorms with my classmates, but, yeah."
Kaede gave me a sad look. I didn't like pity. "Oh, I'm so sorry dear." Nothing she could do about it. Wasn't her fault.
"Nah, it's fine," I assured, waving a hand back and forth to emphasize my point.
We fell into a silence for awhile before the conversation picked back up. Thankfully, Shizuru's parents didn't bother her about boys or her feelings or anything that would have made her feel uncomfortable and sad. Throughout the dinner though, I couldn't get her saddened and pained face out of my head. After dinner, I decided to needed to have a talk with her. When we finished eating, Shizuru excused herself from the table and began to leave the room. Her parents told me I was free to go as well. I bid them goodnight for I wasn't sure if I'd see them again, and took off after Shizuru. So she was upset still after all. Her mask was very good. But all masks come off with time.
As soon as I was clear of her parents, I jogged through the halls to catch up with Shizuru. "Shizuru, hang on!" I called out after her. She stopped, but didn't turn around. "Shizuru. Hey," I said, reaching out for her shoulder. "What was with that at dinner, huh? They don't know, do they?" I knew they didn't, but a conversation needed to start somewhere.
She whipped her head around and glared before pulling me down the hall and into her room. She shut the door before facing me again. "Would you mind where you are? Be a little more conscientious, would you? Of course they don't know, and I don't want them finding out, thank you."
I frowned. "And why not, huh?"
"It's not exactly something you'd proudly want to tell your parents, Natsuki."
"That's stupid. Who cares if your proud about it or not. They wont disown you over being gay, would they?"
She flinched. "Could you at least lower your voice, please?"
"So they would? They'd disown you over something as trivial as what gender you choose to like?"
She lowered her gaze to the floor. "It's not a choice. And I don't know what they'd do, but that isn't out of the question. It's not natural, in any case."
I hated watching her beat herself up like this. It was stupid. This was stupid. "You shouldn't have to hide Shizuru," I said confidently, staring right at her, willing her to lift her head up. She mumbled something incoherent, but I couldn't make it out. "Our feelings are our feelings, and we are who we are."
She looked up this time, eyes dull and broken seeming. I could barely stand the site. "That may be, Natsuki, but society doesn't care about who we are, only what we are."
"Damn it Shizuru!" I growled, my fists clenching at my sides so tightly it was painful. "Screw what society thinks! Your feelings do matter! We fought, bled, cried, and died only to come back to life for them!" I wouldn't let her forget that. That time-- that awful, depressing time-- was not to be cast aside. We didn't go through all of that only for her to quake in her boots over telling her parents that she liked girls. She had tears in her eyes at this point. My body was shaking with emotion. "After that," I whispered, voice breaking. "After all of that, don't you think you deserve it, Shizuru?" I moved forward to wrap her in a tight hug, not only for her, as the tears were running down her cheeks silently, but for myself as well, whose eyes were stinging. "Don't you think you deserve to accept forgiveness? To have the right to move on and live freely and open as the person that you really are?"
Even though I couldn't see it, I could tell she was looking at me out of the corner of her eye. It felt... nice. Staying like this too, and feeling her warmth against me. I'll admit I felt a bit guilty, taking pleasure out of a situation brought only such sadness in her, but I couldn't help my feelings... like she couldn't help hers.
I think... I finally understand...
I was about to pull away to look her in the eyes, but she clutched me tighter. She didn't want to let go, and I understood that too. It was just her words that confused me.
"Natsuki... would you allow me, even after everything I've done, yet another moment of selfishness?" she whispered, and I only nodded, "Thank you ... because I can't not say this." I could feel her nervousness, "I love you."
I could feel something stinging behind my eyes... tears, that wanted to escape. The longer I was motionless and silent, the more she trembled, and all I knew was that I didn't want that. No more. She didn't deserve to ever be afraid again. So I held her tighter, placing my hand on the back of her soft hair and pulling her in as close as I could. I didn't expect the words to come out then, but I would let her know nonetheless, the way I felt after she told me that.
A/N: So, the story begins on the 24th, and the two mini bits are flashbacks. The dinner is on the same day that the beginning is, the 24th because when Shizuru came in, Natsuki was pulled from her flashbacks... Hopefully that clears it up for anyone who was confused. Anywhos, MERRY CHRISTMAS! Or, happy holidays for those who don't celebrate.
ps. sorry for any inconsistences within the story.
Omake's
N: Eheh, I guess that's my fault too... -about to out Shizuru-
S: -freaking out-
N: You see, Shizuru kinda loves m--OW.
S: -Throwing food-
N: Hey, stop it!
S: -out of food-
N: Hah. Can't throw no more food at me.
S: -starts throwing cutlery-
----
-A day in the life of Mae and Notori... well, just when they write together using google docs-
Notori: -writes-
Kaede could tell her daughter didn't want to speak anymore. Even though I knew it long before... Whatever, not like it's a contest really...
Mae: -adds on while Notori is chatting to her in MSN-
Kaede could tell her daughter didn't want to speak anymore. Even though I knew it long before... Whatever, not like it's a contest really... Although truthfully, she had bet 100 000 000 on Shizuru dating the Koerta boy. Damn her gambling problem.
Mae: -waits.... waits....- You stopped writinggg!! -pout-
Notori: Yeah... because SOMEONE crackified my drama moment... _
Mae: Eheheh :D I'm sorry, I swear! -rewrites-
Kaede could tell her daughter didn't want to speak anymore. Even though I knew it long before... Whatever, not like it's a contest really... She knew she was supposed to go to therapy, but she couldn't. Therapists scared her. She ran out of the room once while one of them said hello. They were scary people man. Super scary. They haunted her dreams at night. She hadn't slept in days.
Notori: -goes to try writing- DAMN! YOU DID IT AGAIN!!!
Mae: D
Notori: -msn chatting again-
Mae: ... D
Kaede could tell her daughter didn't want to speak anymore. Even though I knew it long before... Whatever, not like it's a contest really... Well, what the heck, yes it was. I won in any case. I jumped up from my seat and started dancing. "Can't touch this," I sang. "You can't touch this. Can't touch this. Ya can't touch this!" I grabbed a boom box out of no where. "Mymymymymy, music, hits me so hard. Makes me say, oh my lord. Thank you, for blessin me-" I was cut off by a spoon to the forehead. "Ow..." I glared at Shizuru, but she shrugged and shook her head, motioning at the servant. I glared at the servant who was trying to escape. "STOP!.... HAMMERTIME! I've thrown around the world, from london to bombay, It's Hammer go hammer its a hammer yo hammer--" this time, a bowl knocked me out.
Shizuru jumped up and grinned at her success. Her parents jumped up with her and they started dancing together. "We like to partay, we like, we like to partay~ The Fujinobus is jumping and everybodys jumping, newyork to sanfransisco and inter city disco~"
Notori: MAE!
---
Next Time....
I knelt down in front of her and opened the small ring box, staring into her beautiful crimson eyes. "Fujino Shizuru, my most precious person, will you marry me?"
Shizuru stared down at me, tears in her eyes.
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Mae: HAH. Tricked you. That was fake. Ahaha, you fell for it. Well, maybe not, but it was fun all the same.
Next time... is Newyears?!