Three Days before Christmas…
Regina Mills was an armored woman. She let very few people into the protective shield she surrounded herself with. Her son, Henry, was one of those people and as much as she wanted to deny it so was his blonde haired, whirlwind of a mother.
At least that's what she thinks of the two and herself when she allows them to rampage through her house; snow covered boots leaving a trail to each of the rooms they'd stopped in since arriving. "Henry," she chastises, as he finally wraps her, wet jacket and all, in a bear hug- her little prince, she didn't want to admit, was almost bigger than her now.
He kisses her cheek in response and gives her an eye-twinkling, mischievous grin. "Hello to you too," he says.
Henry and Emma follow her into the living. Noticing the dwindling fire in the fireplace, Emma turns to Regina and says, "Can I?"
Regina nods hesitantly and gives her a smile. "Just make sure you do not burn my house down Miss Swan," she comments.
Emma rolls her eyes and stares at the fireplace in concentration. She brings her hand forward, fingers curling as if stoking the fire and a large burst of flame appears. Henry laughs at Emma's proud grin.
"Very good," Regina praises, turning away from the fire to look into blue eyes.
"I just can't wait for winter to be over," Emma admits, her face showing her pleasure at the approval from Regina. "Being cold and wet is one of my least favourite things." The three falls silent for a few minutes before Emma speaks again, "I should probably get going. Mary-Margret and David are waiting for me to watch Neal so they can go on a 'date night'." She rolls her eyes with a smirk as she air quotes the last two words.
Regina nods in understanding and walks Emma to the door as Henry gives a rushed goodbye before he takes off to his room.
She leans against the door frame as Emma walks onto the front porch. "Have a good night Regina," Emma says, a smile on her face. Then she turns and walks to her bug parked haphazardly on a snow bank.
Regina sighs as she whispers, "You too Emma." Regina watches the blonde-haired sheriff drive away, wishing she had stopped her.
…
The mayor stares around her spacious living room where she sits alone, cradling a glass of her favourite alcoholic cider to her chest. She's coming down from the high that was today. Her ingrained polite exterior had lasted her most of the day as she had attended a large feast at Granny's with her son and his family. In the quiet of her home she lets her guard drop and the buzz from the day simmer. To be honest, she missed the bustle of people surrounding her. Two people in particular she missed.
Henry had been hers for eleven years; she got him all to herself. He had become her home, the place she missed when she was away; the comfort of him in her arms the only thing to soothe a long day.
Now though… Emma. The woman Regina had hated the moment she stepped foot inside her threshold. The woman, who had threatened her happy ending, had threatened to take her son from her. She cared for the blonde haired woman, more than she was willing to admit; apparently she'd made it abundantly clear that night.
Regina had entered Granny's diner hesitantly, looking around for the blonde haired birth mother of her son or her son himself. She found the blonde first, offering a smile as Emma waved her over.
"I'm glad you could make it Regina," Emma greets, as the brunette approaches.
"Yes, well I've had Henry every Christmas since he was born; this year will be no different Miss Swan," Regina says off handedly before realizing how horrible it made her sound. She softens her tone, "I apologize, Miss Swan. That was uncalled for."
Emma shakes her head, blonde curls moving in all directions. "No," Emma says, "I don't think I've ever thanked you for adopting him. For taking care of him when I couldn't. I know what it's like to be alone on Christmas, to feel unwanted and have no presents under the tree, I'm glad he didn't have to suffer through it."
Regina was taken aback by the honesty in Emma's eyes. She decides the Christmas cheer must be getting to the sheriff, that, that was the reason she was being so open with the brunette mayor. She opens her mouth to speak but it isn't her voice that sounds in their heads, "Emma, Regina," Ruby calls, causing the two to swivel their heads in the provocative brunette's direction. Ruby smirks when she has everyone's attention. "You do realize you're standing under mistletoe, right?"
The entire diner's gaze shoots up and there it is, swaying innocently with the slight draft. Regina glared at it as though it betrayed her. Emma's cheeks tinged pink, only noticeable by Regina who found her heart fluttering in response.
"Come on," Ruby goads. "It's just a little kiss."
Regina side-glances at Emma who shrugs a shoulder with a 'what are we gonna do' look. Emma abruptly turns towards the dark haired woman and takes an olive-skinned hand in hers. Regina hesitantly turns towards the blonde woman.
"Miss Swan," Regina questions, and though her voice is barely more than a whisper it is heard across the diner. The diner's patrons hold their breath in anticipation, rapt curiosity washes over them.
Emma bows dramatically, bending a knee behind the other and dipping low, holding Regina's trembling hand in front of her. "Madam Mayor," Emma drawls as she brushes soft lips against bony knuckles.
Regina lets out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding along with the rest of the diner. Emma turns towards Ruby with a smug look on her face. "Happy?"
Ruby rolls her eyes. "Hardly, that's cheating."
"A kiss is a kiss," Emma argues as Regina recomposes herself.
Ruby rubs a hand down her face. "Fine: A kiss is a kiss."
When Ruby turns her attention away from the two women standing in the doorway, the chatter once again resumes in the diner. Regina's nose crinkles in dissatisfaction as Emma turns towards her.
"Sorry about that," Emma says with a smirk.
Regina waves her off. "That was a clever dodge," she admits.
Emma nods. "Wouldn't want anyone getting the wrong idea," she comments throwing Regina a wink and a smile.
Regina's heart drops. "Of course not," she tries to keep her voice light.
"Emma," Archie calls from a booth near the door. "Can I speak with you a moment?"
Emma, who had craned her neck over one shoulder to see who had called, nods. "You good," she questions, turning back to Regina.
Regina nods once and offers a small smile. "I'll be fine Miss Swan." Emma gives Regina's arm a squeeze before walking towards Henry's former therapist.
Regina's arm tingles where Emma's touch had been and she absently strokes a thumb across knuckles the blonde had kissed.
Regina could not believe she'd once again let that woman walk away. She was just trying to destroy herself. She couldn't let herself hope for something that would never happen. Love is weakness.
…
She stood in her kitchen, humming tunelessly as she mixed pancake mix in a large bowl. She stirs the wooden spoon in her hands in soothing circles. She doesn't hear the woman behind her until strong, thin arms are being wrapped around her waist. She tenses until a warm face rests itself against her shoulder.
"Sorry," the sleep-graveled voice says with a chuckle that rumbles across the skin of her shoulder, causing her skin to goose bump. "You didn't wake me up, why?"
"You looked so peaceful," is the reply, accompanied by a shoulder shrug that disrupts the woman currently resting her cheek against it.
"Regina," warns the occupier.
"Emma," Regina mocks the blonde woman's tone. Abandoning the bowl of mix Regina turns in Emma's arms, causing the blonde to raise her head. Regina leans against the counter, Emma following her and bracing her hands against the counter as their bodies mold together. "I was making pancakes," Regina murmurs distractedly.
Emma kisses the tip of Regina's nose as she asks, "Chocolate chip?"
Regina nods as she leans into Emma. She squeaks in surprise as the pancake mix is suddenly spread on her nose. "Hey," she complains as Emma spins out of her reach. She chases the blonde woman around the large mansion a good five minutes before the agile blonde slows her pace enough for the brunette woman to latch onto her arm…
SNAP.
Emma's head lay cradled in her lap. She brushed rain drenched curls from the younger woman's pale face. "Emma, no," Regina sobbed, patting at a colourless cheek. "Please, no." She clasps a hand to her mouth as the blonde sheriff's name is wailed from her lips: "Emma." This just couldn't be the end of the savior. It couldn't.
"Mom," Henry's hesitant voice rang out. When he sees Emma's motionless form he turns on Regina. "You did this to her, you killed her. You're a monster."
Snap.
She wakes to tears spilling down her cheeks and a sob rising from her lips. She sits up gasping for air, clawing a hand at her chest, trying to calm her breathing. In. Out. In. Out.
The panic attacks she's used to. She'd started getting them the moment the savior drove into town in that yellow bug she was so proud of. She's just not used to the dream that accompanied this one. It's new mixed with old, all her hopes and fears balling into one.
Before the dark haired mayor can register what she's doing she's pulling her phone off its charger and is dialing a familiar number; fingers flying over buttons.
She presses the phone to her ear, heart jumping at her ribcage. The ringing proceeds longer than Regina wished it would, minutes feeling like hours.
The tone clicks in connection. "Whoever this is better have a damn good reason for calling," the raspy, sleep-graveled, irritated voice of the savior sounds out over the phone and Regina can almost breathe again. Regina cannot reply right away, breath still caught in her throat, preventing a torrent of words from tumbling out. "Hello," Emma says, sharply. Regina hears a rustle as she pictures Emma sitting up and pulling the phone from her ear to check caller ID. "Regina," she says, this time concerned. "What's wrong?" Still the brunette doesn't answer. "Regina, if you don't answer me in the next few seconds, I'm coming over." And Regina believed her, hearing through the phone the rustle of a comforter being pushed down.
This jump starts Regina's voice. "No, Emma," she surprises herself with using Emma's name so casually, "I'm fine. Everything is fine."
Emma sounds suspicious but the rustling stops. "Why are you calling Regina?"
Regina avoids the question, instead asking one of her own, "Can I talk to Henry?"
A pause. "Regina, do you know what time it is? Henry's passed out cold, its four o'clock in the morning." Regina glances at her clock and confirms what the sheriff had said.
"I'm sorry, I hadn't realized it was so early," Regina apologizes. "Can you have him call me in the morning?"
Another silence. "Why are you really calling," Emma asks voice soft. Regina closes her eyes and rubs hand down her face.
"It's nothing Miss Swan, I'm sorry for waking you."
"Regina—"
"Goodnight Miss Swan, go back to bed," Regina doesn't even wait for a reply as she snaps the phone shut and tosses it onto her nightstand. She sighs and settles against her pillows for another sleepless night.
…
A tapping noise jolts her from her doze and she jumps, trying to locate the noise. The tapping sounds again and she slips quietly from her large, warm bed and grabs the bathrobe that hangs on the back of her bedroom door.
She's tying the belt around her waist as she descends the stairs. She peers down into her foyer and startles as she hears a click and the front door – which she'd locked – creak open. A blonde haired form slips into her house quietly and it takes her a moment in the semi dark to recognize who it is as the woman closes the door behind her gently. It's Emma.
"Miss Swan, you do know breaking and entering is a crime," Regina says, startling Emma, whose hand flies to her chest. Regina's heart flutters as she asks a question she wished she was right about the answer to. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm not good at doing what I'm told," Emma responds, as she watches Regina descend down the stairs. "Your call worried me."
"So picking the lock on my front door was your solution," Regina comments, now standing in front of the savior, a dark eyebrow quirked.
Emma shrugs. "You weren't answering."
"I was asleep or at least trying to sleep."
"So was I when I got your call," Emma shoots back, the two falling into their old ways of bickering.
Regina hesitates. "I apologized about that, I hadn't realized the time."
"Why were you up at that time," Emma questions, voice softening like it did on the phone. Regina once again hesitates. "Did you have a nightmare?"
Regina's head snaps towards the blonde as she growls out, "My life is a nightmare." Emma doesn't flinch, instead she moves closer to the now shaking woman. She knew she'd clearly hit a nerve.
"Regina," Emma starts, only to be interrupted with a hand wave from the former queen.
"Emma, don't," Regina begs.
Emma looks at Regina, curiosity taking hold over her features. "There's nothing wrong with nightmares Regina, heck, I still get them sometimes." She places a hand on Regina's arm, rubbing in an up and down motion. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"If I needed a shrink I'd go see Dr. Hopper."
Emma stands firm. "That's not an answer to my question."
Regina can feel Emma's body heat through the bathrobe, everywhere on her arm the blonde is rubbing. A sob threatens to bubble itself to her lips but she beats it back down, swallowing thickly. "I'm—"
She cuts off. She'd made the mistake of looking into deep blue eyes. Her knees buckle and her shoulders hunch in on themselves, and she doesn't have the energy to hold back that choked sob. She's never felt more vulnerable in her life; collapsed at the feet of her son's birth mother. Then Emma steps back and look down at her, many emotions sweeping across her face: confusion, worry, understanding; only a few Regina can make out as her eyes glaze with tears and her vision goes blurry.
The brunette sobs harder as Emma retreats from the mansion, throwing a worried look over her shoulder as she leaves. Though their friendship was still rocky, Regina could not believe Emma had left her… abandoned her.
She's needn't have worried. Emma is back in a matter of minutes, moving past her into the parlor before returning to the fallen woman's side. She puts her arms around the woman and helps her up, Regina leans heavily into the offered shoulder. Emma half carries-half drags Regina to the couch and plops the both of them down side by side. Regina turns into Emma tensing as she realizes what she's done and that the woman half-under her tensed as well. Before she can apologize Emma wraps her arms around Regina and rubs circles across her back.
"I'm not very good at the comfort thing," Emma admits after a while of silence.
Regina lifts her head and looks at the blonde. "Emma, you came back. That's all the comfort I needed; I didn't want someone to leave me again."
Emma gives her a smile. "Open your presents," she says, nodding to two wrapped items on the coffee table Regina hadn't noticed.
"You didn't need to get me anything."
"Oh shut up and open them," Emma says with a smirk.
Regina offers a smile before reaching out to hesitantly taking the flatter present first. She carefully unwraps the red wrapping paper and pulled out what's nestled under sheets of tissue paper. She gasps as she pulls out a picture frame: black but for the words etched out in rolling script along the bottom, The Queen and Her Little Prince, The Battle May Be Far From Over, But At Least It's Not Being Fought Alone. Inside the picture frame is a picture of Regina and Henry, Regina smiling at her boy, a hand resting on his cheek as he hands her a box. This picture had been taken only the day before at the Christmas Feast. The box which Henry gave her had been filled with pictures from when Henry was little and from the past few years. She's taken special notice of how there had been quite a few of Emma and her and Henry or just Emma and her. "It's lovely Emma, thank you," Regina says.
"Open the other one, I would have given you these presents with everyone else but it was Christmas day and I still had to pick it up," Emma explains, from her lounging position on the couch.
Regina takes the other one, this one a little more square shaped and heavier and opens it up, quicker than she had the last one. Under the wrapping paper was a small jewelry box, a silver crown shone up at Regina from the top of it. She opened it, breath held in anticipation. Sitting on top of black material was a purple pendant, silver circling intricate designs along the edges before connecting in the middle where a another crown shone up at her, this one black with a blood red apple where the center jewel should be. She sat there jaw gaping as she looked between the probably very expensive necklace and the woman who had given it to her. "Emma," Regina starts.
Emma waves her down. "No, I don't want to hear anything about anything. I'm not telling you how much it was, or where I got it. It's a present and that's that. Just enjoy it."
Regina almost laughs at the conviction in her voice. "Just help me put it on," she says.
Emma smiles at her as she pulls it from the box. Regina turns and pulls her hair to the side and Emma's hands bring the necklace over Regina's head, brushing the skin of her neck as she clasps into place. "There," she says, quietly. "Merry Christmas, Regina."
…
"Hey Regina," Mary-Margret starts. "That's new, where'd you get it."
Regina's hand flies to her throat and she fingers her newest accessory. "It was a gift," she replies.
"It's nice," Mary-Margret says, quietly. "It suits you."
Regina smiles at the dark-haired woman. "Thank you."
…
"Emma, please," Regina begs. She cradles the blonde woman's prone form in her arms. Her dream had come true, but it was the wrong dream; the nightmare. She rocks back and forth as slush seeps into her pants and chills her to the bone. She doesn't feel it. She doesn't feel the heat of the tears rushing down her cheeks or the weight of the woman in her arms. She doesn't feel anything. All she can do is see. See Emma crumpling to the ground. See the person who attacked Emma sneering in delight. She had seen red then, flickering across her vision and making it blurry; merging with the blood of Emma's assailant. Regina can see Emma in her arms, face whiter than ash as her eyes stare unseeing. "No Emma. Not you too. Not you too."
"Regina," she hears as a hand connects with her shoulder. "Regina please, there's nothing you can do."
A pause as a male voice chimes in. "You know what Gold says, 'Dead is dead'. She can't be brought back."
"It was magic that killed her," Regina snaps, seething. "Magic can bring her back."
She doesn't see the look shared behind her back. She strokes a hand across Emma's pale face, smoothing blonde hair out of the way. "Emma please," Regina whispers into the blonde's hairline. "I love you." She's finally admitted it out loud, and Mary-Margret gasps at the former queen's words "If you wake up I'll tell you for real. Please, Emma. Don't leave me too."
Regina can't believe she'd let the woman she loves die right in front of her. What a failure. But you know what they say, "If you love something, set free. If it doesn't come back, it was never meant to be."
Regina's heart snapped into a million little pieces as she bent over the blonde sheriff. Over the woman who had caused her many heartaches and who had weaseled her way into a shielded heart. Regina leans over Emma, no breath whispering back across her lips as she closes the gap between Emma and her but her own. She leans closer still, almost touching. "Come back Emma," she whispers, before she gently smooth's her lips over Emma's. Her motions gentle as she kisses blue lips.
She pulls away, tears once again taking over her face, smudging mascara into trails down her cheeks. "I'm sorry."
And you let her go
A/N: Hey, so this is completely different from what I normally right. To start off it's Swan Queen. I didn't start even liking them until this summer when a fanfiction story I read got me hooked. Now I'm a little bit obsessed. Anyways I hope you liked it.
~ Love, Ali
P.S. It's based off of the song Let Her Go by Passenger as can be guessed by the title.
P.S.S. I don't own Once Upon a time or the song I just like playing with things in my twisted head and things like this come out. Sue me. Also I will be updating my criminal minds story, Two Unlikely People Cuddled I've just hit temporary writers block.
P.S.S.S PLEASE DON'T SUE ME I'M JOKING!