Young Hearts Run Free
"I'm not drinking that."
"Rose, you can't be rude."
"Why not? You're rude all the time." I watched as the copper-skinned alien poured what looked like tar into crude wooden cups and sat them in front of us. I shook my head and tried to smile. "Thanks, but no."
The alien looked put out. "It is the Time of the Feast. All must imbibe of the nectar of the kudrn vine or this season's crop will fail."
"There, ya see?" The Doctor picked up his glass. "You've got to imbibe. Cheers." He clunked his glass against mine and downed it like a shot. He instantly made a terrible face. "Tastes a bit like oil from the muskgodra beast on Phalx. Interesting story, the people of Phalx take the secretions from this beastie and bottle it. It's considered an aphrodisiac."
"Yes, comparing it to animal sweat helps." I lifted the cup to my lips and pretended to drink. "Mmm, delicious," I said to our host.
"You must drink it all."
Bloody hell.
"It's a little strong," I said. "It may take me a bit. But I'll drink it. Promise." Again I gave the alien a big phony smile.
He must have been satisfied, because he went off to the next table, distributing the viscous drink.
"Thank God," I said, and started to lean over to pour the drink out.
The Doctor grabbed my arm. "What are you doing?"
"I'm not drinking it!" I hissed. "This isn't sodding Fear Factor or any one of those other awful American reality shows, I'm not drinking something that looks like tar, smells like rotting garbage, and compared to sweat by you."
He rolled his eyes. "You'll eat a hot dog, but this is taboo." He grabbed the drink from me and downed it. "The things I do for you, Rose Tyler." His eyes widened and he gritted his teeth. "Packs a bit of a kick second time 'round, doesn't it?" He grabbed a hold of the table. "Is the room spinning?"
"Are you alright?" I was alarmed.
"Fine. This stuff's just a bit potent. Give me a moment. Is it hot in here?"
"Not really." I noticed he was sweating. "I think that awful stuff's affecting you."
"My body doesn't get intoxicated on alcohol, and that's all this is, alcohol. Rather high proof alcohol." He took off his jacket. "It's right bloody hot in here, that's what!" His suit jacket went off as well.
"Doctor, maybe we should go..."
"Go? The party's just getting started! I told you the Feats on Satyr are the best in the universe, and we're not gonna miss it now because it's bleedin' hot in here!" He stood up, this time shucking his vest and tie and unbuttoning his long-sleeved shirt. "Do you think we could get a bit of air in here?" He looked around at the assembled aliens who were all staring at us.
I pulled on his arm. "Sit down!" I hissed.
He yanked away. "You're not the boss of me, Rose Tyler, I'm the boss of you! I'm the one with the TARDIS, after all. I'm the boss," he said, words getting more slurred. "You're the companion. You're supposed to...compan." He looked confused. "No, that's not right, is it?"
The lights dimmed around us and he whirled around. "What happened to the lights?"
I put my head in my hands.
"Thank you everyone for coming to celebrate the Time of the Feast." The alien standing on stage said. Everyone around us politely applauded. The Doctor put his fingers to his mouth to give a piercing whistle. The alien continued unfazed. "We would like to honor the travelers who came from lands far away to mark the occasion with us. The Doctor and Rose Tyler."
A spotlight popped on us, and I blinked in the blinding light. "Cheers."
"Saytr gives the best parties!" The Doctor practically yelled. Several in the audience laughed. I put my head in my hands again.
"The band would like to play an old Earth song for you, in honor." The alien on the stage bowed and then walked off.
The band began, and colored lights came on, centering on the disco ball hanging from the ceiling room to splash the room into glittering fragmented color. The music was played almost cautiously, as if it the band was unsure of how it should sound, but I recognized it.
"Disco?" I said in amazement.
"Blimey, I love this song!" The Doctor said, in drunken overexuberance, ditching his dress shirt, now just in a plain white t-shirt, looking less like my Doctor and more like a drunken frat boy. "Young hearts, run free, never be hung up, hung up like my man and me!" he sang off-tune and started dancing. Luckily, he wasn't the only one, the rest of the aliens had gotten to their feet and made their way to the dance floor to do moves straight out of Saturday Night Fever while I stared in shock and horror. Were they doing the Hustle?
The Doctor was now dancing with a copper-skinned woman wearing a bikini top, hot pants, and roller skates. I sighed and headed in his direction.
"I have my own time machine," he was saying to Roller Girl. "You want to see it?"
I grabbed his arm. "Alright, Romeo, time to go home and sleep it off."
"How much kudrn did he drink?" Roller Girl asked me, trying to avoid getting hit by his flailing arms as he gyrated about in a drunken dance.
"I'm 900 years old, and if I want to stay, then I'll stay!" he said beligerently.
"This is worse than when Shireen goes on a binge," I said to myself. "Oi! Doctor! I'm not mucking about with you. We're going back to the TARDIS now."
He frowned. "Don't be mad, Rosie. You look like your mother when you're mad. All those lines around your mouth."
My hand shot up to my mouth to cover it. "I do not!"
"You want help getting him home?" Roller Girl asked.
"I'll take care of it, thanks."
"Good luck." She skated off.
"Aw, what'd you do that for? You scared her off!" The Doctor complained.
"See, your ladyfriend's gone, time to go home." I tugged on his arm, almost cheering when he stumbled along with me.
He started singing the song at the top of his lungs as we walked back to the TARDIS. I grimaced. This was my punishment for not drinking that goo.
"Your hair is yellow."
"I know," I said as if I were talking to a young child. "And yours is brown."
"I wanted to be ginger this time 'round."
"I know."
"Life's just so much more exciting when you're ginger."
"I wouldn't know."
"No, because you're yellow!" He started laughing.
I rolled my eyes.
"You're the best ape I've ever had travel with me."
"Thanks." Such a great compliment.
"No, no. The best ape in the history of the entire Earth."
"You're sweet." And completely smashed.
He was leaning heavily on me as we made it to the TARDIS door. "I love you, Rose Tyler."
"I know. I love you too." I shoved the door open and we stumbled up the ramp. He pulled me off-balance and we tumbled onto the floor, him half sprawled on top of me, completely dead weight.
"You smell good," he mumbled.
"Wish I could say the same." I felt his entire body go slack over me. "Doctor? Doctor?"
The only response was a loud snore.
I tried pushing him off of me, but he made a growling noise, and pulled me tighter against him, like I was a pillow he was cuddling with. "My Rose."
I patted his shoulder. "My Doctor."
He smiled in his sleep.
I stared up at the ceiling of the TARDIS. "Help."