NOT LIKE THIS

(rewrite)

The pain, the pain was so severe is how she would describe it. All she wanted to do was save her friend from some creature holding her hostage. That last thing she remembered was being struck and thrown several yards away. It burned so much but the world around her went black. She knew that death awaited her.

Tasha opened her eyes and found that she was standing in sickbay looking down at herself. Her body lying on the surgical bed as a team of nurses and Dr. Crusher were busy trying to revive her. She looked so delicate despite being covered in those severe burns. She couldn't help noticing the panicked faces as they did what they could. Captain Picard, Data and Riker stood there anxious as Dr. Crusher continued her treatments.

"Her synaptic pathways are still breaking down." Dr. Crusher said a bit of panic in her voice.

"Were going to have to try a direct reticular stimulation. Now." She told the nurse.

Tasha's body jumped slightly but to no effect. They tried again and like before nothing. Tasha stood there looking down at her damaged body and took a few steps back when suddenly everything started to slow down until it came to a complete stop. She looked around puzzled and wondered if this was the jump to the afterlife.

A figure stood in a shadow by the door. Tasha looked back at the now frozen crew and back at the figure. The figure slowly emerged and she gasped as she was now looking at an image of herself. She stood there surprised and confused. The other Tasha stood there with the burnt skin on her cheek and looked over then back to her.

"Why do you stand here staring at your death when you have the chance to wake up and continue on with your life. I don't want to die yet." She said

Tasha stood there looking at her image. She didn't say anything now before taking another step back. The other her kept staring with icy eyes. Eyes that also had a hint of sadness but with frustration and hurt mixed in.

"I don't understand." Tasha said confused.

"It's because you don't want to; WHY?" The other one said now raising her voice. Tasha stood there and wanted to run away.

"This isn't real" Tasha said closing her eyes. She walked the other way keeping her back to the other Tasha.

"It's because your scared, scared that this was a meaningless death. Scared that you screwed up." Her voice softened a bit. Her eyes opened a bit and looked back at her image. A million thoughts began to race through her head.

"Scared that no one will miss you, to continue on and face what the universe has to throw at you. Or perhaps your just tired of living." The other Tasha said and slowly walked over to the surgical bed and peered down.

"I want to think you did this on purpose." She said …turning her head slightly.

Tasha just stood there looking down at the floor before looking up. She just wanted this to end. To run but she could not. She just kept staring while the other her turned her head back before brushing her hand over her cheek.

"No, no I didn't. I was getting angry that thing would not let us help Deanna. I knew the risk but I walked over anyway. I knew what I was doing." She said with a loud tone and then a hint of sadness in her voice. She looked up and the other Tasha looked back and started walking around the surgical bed again.

"That was bravery, despite being scared. You didn't know what that thing was capable of. Now, here you are making no effort to overcome this. I guess this is the end after all. To think you fought so hard to escape Turkana IV. No longer taking drugs when you left. Joining Starfleet and becoming chief security on the federation flagship." She said looking at the door.

"Or what about that colonist you rescued after traversing a Carnelian minefield. The rescue that helped you get on this ship. Captain Picard was very impressed after that." She said. Tasha remembered that clearly.

"Everyone is going to miss you. Will you miss them?" she asked.

Tasha stood there taking in everything she said. She had fought so hard her whole life. Her child hood was in ruins and she never gotten along socially with anyone. Avoiding those rape gangs and having to run and hide just to get food. Getting off that planet and joining Starfleet afterwards helped her after seeing counselors.

Ishara, her dear sister who she left behind after joining the coalition at the age of 10. She remembered how much her sister hated her when she decided to leave. Perhaps this image was making a point reminding her of all she accomplished. Maybe she still had a lot to offer.

The other Tasha pulled her back to the bed and they both looked down at the soon to be corpse.

"Don't let it end here. Not like this." She said before walking to the door and fading. She looked at the worried faces of her shipmates, no her friends. People who were once strangers now good friends that she could laugh with and converse with. She had changed so much in the last several years. Tasha looked down once more before looking up. She closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh. She stared straight ahead and her world around her fazed to black.