Right, so – testing this out to see if anyone's interested in reading more. I don't know if this has been done by someone already, if so, didn't mean to rip you off!
So what it John continued going to the therapist all through the time he knew Sherlcok? This will be a fic based on those sessions, each chapter taking place after each episode – after this prologue there will be a session after Study in Pink and so forth, all the way to the bitter end.
But I might take some liberties.. Being an avid supporter of S/J pairing. We will see.
Let me know what you think, and above all if you are keen to read more so I know if it's worth continuing.
ML
All usual disclaimers apply, of course.
PS If anyone out there would be interested in being my beta, drop me a PM.
x
x
"Nothing happens to me."
It wasn't like John would have been feeling sorry for himself. Well, not at least entirely; he genuinely meant what he said. Nothing did happen, or at least nothing felt like anything ever since coming back home. And how could it, really, after what he had seen and experienced in Afghanistan? Now when he was back in England his life had fallen into that of unimpressive, uneventful existence; he felt he had little purpose and the days that consisted of waking up, staying awake and going back to sleep were not exactly enough to keep him content. And it wasn't only that, even - it sometimes annoyed him, seeing all these people with their so-called difficulties and problems, their self-inflicted drama and petty feuds when he had seen his friends being blown up to pieces and having to have to be aware of the possibility of his own sudden death every waking second. That was a difficulty.
Ella tilted her head ever so slightly and wrote something down. John didn't bother to read it. As she was writing, she said, "Why do you say that?"" Her tone was pleasant, calm and non-threatening as it always was.
John shrugged his shoulders. "Because it's true?" He felt slightly frustrated with the situation and it probably showed in his voice.
Ella lifted her eyes from her writing pad and clicked her pen. "What would you want to happen, then?"
John was about to reply with something mundane but then stopped to think. What did he want? He wanted the nightmares to stop; he wanted to feel normal again. He wanted something to do, something that would grant him with a sense of purpose. Perhaps he wanted to meet someone, someone he could spend time with. It wasn't that much to ask, was it? But for some reason he couldn't say these things to the therapist sitting opposite to him, looking at him with her understanding eyes; John just didn't feel comfortable talking about these kinds of things. Not with her, not with anyone; that was just the way he was.
Ella glanced at her watch. Apparently the time slot John had been provided with had came to its end.
"Why don't we talk about that more the next time. Or you can write about into your blog, whatever option feels more comfortable for you." If Ella was disappointed in John's lack of cooperation she hid it well. She stood up and offered her hand for John to shake. "I'll see you in two weeks, then."
John got up as well and shook her hand. She was taller than him, a beautiful woman; for a brief second John wondered if she would go out with him after this charade of a therapy would be over. "Looking forward to." John's tone wasn't exactly in tune with his words.
x
x
x
It was a beautiful day. John stepped out from the building and inhaled deeply, enjoying the feel of fresh air on his skin. One thing he did like about being back was London, its life and pulse; it really was too bad he couldn't afford to live there.
He glanced at his watch and realized he had plenty of time before catching the bus back. The leg didn't feel too bad today - maybe he should walk around a bit. There was a lovely park close by and he started to head to its general direction.