A/N: Wow! Hi guys, so for those who are new to my work welcome I really hope you enjoy this piece. For those who are (hopefully) still around yes I'm alive, I didn't die. I've been on an extremely long, uninspired writers block that lasted way too long! For details check out my profile!
Now as for this story: so after binge watching InuYasha and having the urge to rip my hair out because I wanted more, I opened up my computer to write a small one shot only for it to become a BIG one shot. I mean huge! I was not planning to write as a 26 – page monster and debated if this should be a multi-fic but considering this is my first piece of work since coming back, why not just throw it all out there? Honestly I blame the characters, they were feeling particularly chatty. If you like this, please let me know! Contrastive criticism is welcome as it would help me improve my skills! So, finally shutting up I hope you like it and if you want to see more of me and my work leave a review and check out my profile.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha because if I did I would be rolling in billions right now. The same goes for The Great Gatsby because, again, if I did I wouldn't have any student loans.
Summary: Kagome knew that living in Kikyo's shadow was just how things were meant to be in her twisted relationship with InuYasha. However, after one visit to much, her wall starts to crack, giving away to the sealed emotions she didn't want to acknowledge. Now being haunted of the ghost of ex-love's past, she gives in to her feelings, finally letting loose of everything a human heart was meant for; even if it was meant to be a broken one.
A Human Heart
Looking into the dying embers of a fire, the sparks that flicker and pop to spark some kind of life among the dried plants and twigs, the relaxing heat do nothing to calm the nerves of one dark haired girl, whose troubled eyes are lost in the smothering embers.
Next to her are the gifted demon slayer who under her compassionate gaze and gentle hand is a woman who would, in instant kill hundreds of demons that dare cross her. Across from them sits a monk who in the quiet still of the night tries to make a move only to have a glare of the demon slayer to stop his leering hand, if only for this one time. Finally, in a sleeping bag on the floor we come full circle, sleeps a kitsune fox whose young face is hidden, fast asleep in the fur of the loyal cat demon that lies on its side.
Breathing softly the dark haired girl silently stands and slips out of Kaede's hut to look at the night sky, the stars twinkling in all their glory, their beauty untainted with the fresh air of the feudal era.
Sighing she looks towards the trees, waiting, for the final member of the rag tag group of friends to appear once more out of the darkened forest, with the only light to appear is that of the moon and the faint glow of soul collectors deep within the forest.
She knows that is the direction her beloved hanyo would appear from. She knows that when he does the cycle of questions of what did you do, why did she call you and why did you go will start only for them to unanswered and the cycle to start over again until Kikyo's next unplanned appearance.
A soft thud alerted her that she was no longer alone out here and she saw that indeed InuYasha had returned, a scowl on his face and faced her with crossed arms.
"Oi, wench, why aren't you inside. You're gonna get sick again, stupid" huffing he grabbed her arm and led her to the door.
Coming back to the heat and him perching himself in his usual corner she still stood there, lost in her own thoughts, barely acknowledging anyone. A frown still marred her face as she sighed and slipped back outside, giving some kind of excuse to allow her to sit outside for a few moments alone.
Why am I feeling like this? She thought. The pattern of it was almost routine by now.
The soft tickle of tears caught her attention and angrily she brushed them away.
Catching her reflection in the water beneath her she couldn't help but allow herself to give into the similarities that she didn't want to see.
Being the reincarnation of the once dead priestess, of course she would have some of her looks and traits. However once really looking at her face, it was Kikyo's that stared back.
Almost twins in every single way. Except for some minor differences that really, worked more towards her disadvantage than the other way around.
Wild and emotion filled eyes looked back instead of the calm and cool gaze that she had slowly come to know. Minus the cloths and hairstyles, the eyes were the only difference physically. Spiritually Kagome knew that eventually her power would grow and be almost rival to her other life however time and again it was proven that Kikyo was superior in a time that was her own.
Of course finally; emotionally, the painful truth that Kagome didn't want to admit would rear its ugly head eventually. Kikyo had InuYasha's heart, soul and life in her palm. She had his love, something that Kagome wished was hers but finally admitted it would never be.
People say the truth hurts; however, the truth could quite potentially destroy what little light for love Kagome still had for one dog eared demon.
Bringing her legs up to her chest and resting her suddenly heavy head on her knees, she stared into the distance.
Startled by a soft fabric covering her shoulders she looked up into the face of Sango, who with an understanding expression sat beside her sister of the heart and laid her head on her shoulder.
She felt rather than saw the tears that slowly shed from the girl and Sango's heart ached for her friend. Anger quickly went through her at the thought of the dense half demon sitting inside, far away enough for smell of her tears not to reach them and fortunately, if any conversation did occur, words wouldn't as well.
"Sango?" A soft whisper from Kagome got her attention and she looked at the pitiful heartbroken girl beside her.
"Yes" She whispered
Kagome looked to be struggling to say the right words, blinking back tears and looking at the ground. Finally, lifting her head, Sango saw a look of sadness cross her friends' eyes as she opened her mouth to speak.
"I'm tired of pretending"
With that she laid her head back on her shoulder and closed her eyes, giving away to sleep that would give her some kind of peace, if only for a night.
After her breathing evened out, Sango looked to the sky and sent a quiet prayer be lifted to the heavens to hopefully ease the pain in all of her friends' hearts.
It continued like that for a while, each time Kikyo appeared Kagome would retreat inside herself, eventually sitting in the same spot by the river, Sango going to comfort her and Inuyasha still none the wiser, never noticing her bouts of sadness when he returned. How could he really? Kagome had it practically down to a science, crumple and fall when he was away and pick herself up again before he returned, back to her same old self like always.
Her act fooled everyone except for Sango who promised to keep all thoughts to herself, no matter how many glares she threw at the half demon when he wasn't watching.
On it went, until the new moon appeared and so had the foretelling soul collectors. Of little surprise to no one InuYasha declared quite stubbornly that he would visit her, ignoring everyone's halfhearted attempts to stop and convince him otherwise. When the soft breeze of the curtain closed after his departure, Kagome stood and said she was going for a walk and returned to the river.
Sango coming after her, placed a comforting hand on her shoulder but was quite shocked at Kagome's plea to be alone.
Not quite understanding her reasoning but respecting her friend's wishes she went back to the hut but with a quick thought, quietly went back and left a reminder for Kagome, if only for her peace of mind. Shaking her head silently at the questions in her companions' eyes, she gave them a slight look before returning back towards her seat, petting Kiara quietly.
Kagome, to her credit, has yet to shed a tear, instead to look into the distance, thinking that the answers she seeks are somewhere beyond her reach. If only to have hope for some kind of answer that would be enough to sooth her mind.
Grabbing the bottle that hung around the neck, she revered in the power that the shards had, the energy almost pulsing in her fingers, begging to be let out. Alive in a way only a miko would truly ever recognize.
Almost warm to the touch, it gave a soft glow and an occasional spark that caught her attention. Listening to slight hum and having her stomach jump, Kagome knew she couldn't sit here any longer.
Looking back towards the lights of the village, she stood, debating what she should do.
The others will be worried if I'm not here and when InuYasha returns he won't be happy to know I went off myself, she mused.
Remembering a flash of his voice declaring to see Kikyo and him disappearing into the night sent a brief swell of anger in her, finalizing her decision.
If he can do it, then why can't I? She thought with a slight bitterness attached.
Walking as quietly as she could, she saw her bow and arrows lying on the grass behind her, the silent warning Sango had left her. With a thanks to her friend, she went off into the forest alone.
The thick underbrush and sharp branches made her stumble a few times, the darkness of the night even more so without the moon to give her some relief of light.
"Ow" she said, as some kind of twig lightly cut her leg and although wincing, kept walking forward, her determination of wanting to get away from him and her sparking her need to keep moving.
She had no idea where she was going and she was nowhere near the village. The only instinct she had was to keep walking, in what direction she had no clue.
Wiping sweat off her forehead, she felt a wave of relief when she saw a break in the trees and picked up her pace until she was in the clear, the stars shining so brightly it was like a million little nightlights in the sky.
Smiling softly, she took refuge underneath a tree, its bark somewhat comforting after walking for who knows how long.
Hugging her knees to her chest, and resting her head on her hands, she admired all the twinkling stars, the night sky so beautiful here without the fog or pollution to taint its beauty.
I wonder if he's looking at the stars too? She thought
I wonder if that's what they're doing together, wherever they are her sweet thought turning to anguish.
Biting her lip, she shook her head, wanting to laugh at herself.
You were the one who decided to stay, you made the choice of being a witness to this.
"You are so stupid" she whispered to herself, she was always going to be second best, nothing but a copy to the original, a fake Kikyo with the same face.
Wiping away a few tears that escaped her eyes, she leaned down on the grass, having her bow in reach just in case.
"I'll only stay here for the night" she said "If only to get away for a while. Just for a while" and with that she closed her eyes, not realizing that her wish had secretly been granted.
When dawn broke and a certain hanyo bounded through the trees and landed in the village, he knew something seemed…off.
He could tell Miroku was inside with Sango, a reinstating slap was heard a few moments later and with a roll of his eyes he gave his focus to the kitsune in the bushes hiding and playing with Kiara.
Where was Kagome?
Her scent was a day old and her backpack was still here.
Confused he walked into the hut where Sango was huffing in the corner and miroku was nursing a reddened cheek.
"Where's Kagome" he asked
The two looked confused at his question which only made him frustrated "Oi, it's simple question, where is she?" he demanded again
"Wasn't she with you?" Miroku asked, worry in his voice
At a shake of his head, Miroku frowned and out of the corner of his eye he saw a particular guilt looking Sango.
"Where is she Sango?" he demanded once more, angry now.
Glaring at him Sango said "Kagome was feeling quite depressed last night and asked to be alone, she was sitting like she always does, by the river. Not like you take any notice" huffing she stood and led them to the said spot where her scent was strongest.
Knitting his brows, he followed the smell where it stopped at the edge of the forest.
"Her scent stops here" InuYasha, worried now turned on his friends who were looking quite worried as well.
"What do you mean 'her scent stopped here'?" Sango asked
Giving a frustrated growl he snapped "I mean it's gone! As in there is nothing left here to follow!"
"How is that possible?" Miorku asked softly
Right than Shippo came bounding over with Kirara at his tail. Looking at their worried faces, he frowned, confused as to what the problem was now.
"What's wrong" he asked innocently. Looking he noticed his favorite person was missing "Kagome didn't come back yet?"
At his question, three pairs snapped towards him and before he knew what happened he was grabbed by InuYasha by his collar.
"Oi, you saw her go somewhere?" InuYasha demanded of the small kitsune "Tell us where she went runt!"
Glaring and struggling to get out of his strong grasp he shouted "I saw her go that way!" he pointed in the direction he saw his friend go last night "She had her arrows with her so I thought she was going to see you!"
Growling he shook Shippo shouting "What the hell does that mean!"
"InuYasha, will you stop that! At least we know what direction she went too!" Sango interrupted his insults and Shippo's shouts.
Dropping the kit and hearing him scamper behind Sango, he stuck his tongue out at him.
He would strangle the little runt later he decided, there were more important things to do.
Running over he saw broken twigs and crushed leaves, seemly from footsteps. Having something to go on he followed the make shift trail, with the others following behind him, wanting to find their lost friend almost as much as he did. Almost.
I'm coming for you Kagome!
Slowly blinking, Kagome yawned and sat up, rubbing her eyes. Waking from her nap she was surpassed to see the sun shining instead of the stars in the sky.
Have I been out here all night?
Standing and stretching out her muscles she was glad to be feeling much better than last night.
I guess all I needed was a good night's sleep along with some peace and quiet.
Walking a few steps, she recalled her bow and arrows and smiling slightly at her forgetfulness she turned to retrieve them only to stop dead in her tracks.
Shock went through her like ice water, freezing her in place at the sight before her.
It was her.
Except not her, more like herself sleeping, no correction her body sleeping!
Shaking she looked closely at her trembling hands and legs, not noticing anything different than usual. Balling her fists, she felt her palms and fingers, she felt her legs, she felt her face, the flesh and heartbeat of a living, breathing girl.
Except how could she be a living, breathing girl when that said girl was mere feet from her!
Taking a few cautionary steps forward, she reached out her hand and touched it, her, shoulder and discovered to her horror that her hand went right through.
Screaming and jumping back, she felt wind rush around her as she found herself sitting in the forest, her body resting about 300 feet away from her.
Looking around, it seemed she jumped back further than she intended.
Panicking, she scrambled to her feet, trying to get her wits about her.
Placing her hands on her head, she took deep breaths in, trying to calm her racing heart.
"Stay calm Kagome, just stay calm, stay calm" she kept repeating that over and over like a mantra, trying to keep herself calm.
She was not calm!
She was a freaking ghost! Except she was alive! The confusion and panic and just plain fear sent her spiraling until she could only think of one thing. Well actually, more like person.
"InuYasha!" she screamed, as loudly as she could, yet nothing stirred, her scream doing nothing.
Breathing hard, she looked around her not knowing what to do. If she took off running she didn't know how fast she would be considering the little jump back sent her cascading into the trees and she did not want to leave her body just lying there. She shivered at the thought but she also knew she wasn't making any progress here.
Biting her lip, she shook her head, pushing some hair behind her ear. Looking in the direction she thought to be the most familiar, she looked back at her body and sent a quick prayer that she would be okay before darting into the trees, hopefully towards someone who could help.
Sniffing at the air, InuYasha still couldn't track any hint of Kagome. A growl forming, he looked where Sango and Miroku were riding on Kirara's back, hoping to get more of a view from the sky.
"Anything?" he called, a hint of desperation hiding in his voice and at Sango's resounding no he growled louder. "Fuck!"
Running, Kagome found that she was much lighter now and much, much faster than before.
Experimenting she jumped into the air, finding herself atop the trees and seeing the entire forest in front of her before landing a good 100 feet down.
"Amazing" she breathed
Smiling a bit, she jumped from tree to tree, doing light flips and jumps before landing in a run.
"This is awesome!" she said, well as awesome as it can be she thought grimly.
Still, whatever happened made her stronger, faster and more powerful than she had been before.
Smiling she jumped and climbed and did whatever she wanted with her new found freedom, giggling at her new skills, forgetting momentarily at the problem that caused it.
Hearing rustling in the trees though caused her to stop short, listening intently. She looked around her, not seeing anything but sensing something instead.
Looking closely at the underbrush she squinted her eyes at the unseeing force there. Having a tingle in her leg though caused her to jump suddenly, barely dodging the attack from a yokai that was screeching behind her.
Fear went through her as she dodged another attack. Hiding behind a tree before it exploded, the wood splinters shattering everywhere and she darted to a nearby bush.
"Ow!" she looked to where a flying splinter scratched her on her arm and her eyes widened at the blood that came from it.
"What the heck" she whispered before rolling and hiding behind yet another tree.
Before she had much time to think, she dodged and weaved putting her new tricks up where it counted.
Feeling a claw on her leg sent her hurling toward the ground, her body hitting the dirt with a loud omph!
Seeing it coming right at her she clenched her fists and screamed, sending her hand out to block it only to feel that tingling sensation and saw that she sent a huge blast towards the creature where it disappeared in an explosion of spiritual power and demon guts.
Staring in shock, with her hand still outstretched she brought slowly back to her, as she noticed her heart beating erratically.
Swallowing a lump in her throat she stood on shaky legs, observing the now dead demon.
She thought back to where she first remembered doing something like this. The spiritual power she felt when she (unknowingly) sent that blast was just like her first time in the well with the centipede monster.
Backing up slowly, she cast her eyes up, seeing the sun slowly set and realizing that she really hadn't found answers to anything, just added to her ever growing list of questions.
Pursing her lips, she went back to her body, not knowing what else there was to do.
Seeing the clearing where she lay still, she gave a silent breath of relief to see herself safe.
Now that was weird thought.
Sitting beside herself and seeing the sun set she found that although she spent the day running and fighting demons, she wasn't the least bit tired.
Looking at her sleeping face, she sighed, having no clue how to fix this.
She would think herself dead if she herself didn't feel her heart beating.
Sighing she simply closed her eyes, having thinking of her wish before, to be alone and to have space and time to think, to be able to show and feel everything she didn't want too.
All those nights crying by the river, feeling stupid and pitiful for bringing this on herself and worse, not even having enough courage to tell or even show InuYasha her real feelings on the matter.
She wanted to blame Kikyo at first, the better version of herself and the one who held InuYasha's heart but how could she? She knew it wasn't her fault. She couldn't blame her insecurities on the miko. All in all, she could actually learn from her. After all the times she fought in battle with her, although InuYasha usually saved her, Kikyo would be there fighting until her last arrow.
She was capable, dependable in battle, relying on her power and trusting it not to fail her. Sighing Kagome could see the stark differences now. No wonder InuYasha loved her.
Opening her eyes quickly, she sensed she was no longer alone and before she could even realize what was happening, she was already surrounded.
Damn it.
"DAMN IT!" InuYasha yelled, screamed, hollered at anything and everything that could hear him, even it was nothing at all.
"Damn it!" he screamed while clawing and tearing at the trees and underbrush. Nothing was safe from his claws as he vented his frustration.
It was damn near two whole fucking days and still no trace of her!
It was like she vanished into thin air!
After making camp and Sango talking to Shippo on those, what were they, voice talk thingies? (he couldn't remember) That no, Kagome hadn't returned to the village, he nearly lost it.
Growling, he kept on destroying the landscape, Miroku and Sango sitting near the fire quietly.
"What do you think could have happened? It's not like Kagome to go wondering off, especially not telling one of us first" Miroku, frowned, worried that no progress was made after the physical evidence of Kagome's whereabouts seemed to stop sending them back at square one.
"Sango, you were the one who last saw her, did she say anything to you, maybe even gave you any clues as to where she might have gone?"
Sighing, keeping back tears she answered this question for the third time "No, she didn't say much. All she wanted was to be left alone. I could tell she was in no mood to talk so I complied, leaving her bow and arrows a short distance behind her incase anything happened"
Petting Kirara she let her mind drift to one the few conversations they had when InuYasha left on the nights Kikyo summoned him.
"Sango?"
Looking down when hearing her quiet voice, she saw Kagome had awakened from her nap. Seemly troubled she whispered a quiet "yes" while waiting for her friend to speak.
"Do you know what love is like?"
Caught off guard by the question, she looked quickly at Kagome who paid her no mind as she was looking across the river instead.
"Um, I guess so, I mean I loved my family, I love Kohaku…"
Kagome shaking her head as she trailed on, sighed looking at her dead in the eye "I meant, do you know what romantic love is like?"
Swallowing she slowly shook her head; her life as demon slayer didn't really factor in romance and although she knew her father wanted her wed, she had no interest in the boys from her village, she would rather devote her life to protecting the people and slaying yokai than worrying about a husband or babies.
Then again, she wasn't really accustomed to the fluttering feeling in her stomach whenever she was around the monk and he wasn't being so terrible, in fact he could be quite nice…. even sweet…if he wasn't a lecher who stroked her bottom all the time.
"Sometimes I think I don't either." Whispered Kagome "Though every time I'm around InuYasha and he chooses to go to her, even though it hurts, I still stay because I like being around him. I like the feelings I have when I'm with him."
Shrinking more into a ball, Sango's arms went around the girl protectively, realization dawning at the reason for the topic.
"Mama once told me that you know its love when it hurts when he's gone. That you know you love him when he annoys you to the ends of the earth but that you still want to see him at the end of the day. That even when you hate him, you still love him.
I never knew what she meant by that last part, she always told me that you'll know when you find your person. I know what she means now."
Sango, listening felt her heart ache for her, she knew that feeling quite well.
"In my time, there's a book called 'The Great Gatsby' it's a tale of a past romance and not moving on from the one you love. The title character Gatsby, he can't let go of his past love Daisy, even though she's married and has kids, he never loses hope that she'll be his again. So every night before he goes to bed, he stares at a green light, her house, longing for something just out of reach.
When I sit here, when he goes off, sometimes I feel what Gatsby must have felt, that longing for what isn't his but wishing that it was."
Giving a small ragged breath, the hint of tears to come Kagome leaned more into Sango, her support in this breaking of the wall.
"Sometimes I want to hate her, hate Kikyo, but for some reason I can't… I can't bring myself to think of her that way. I hate myself for those thoughts" catching herself on sob, Sango couldn't do anything more but hold her tighter, wishing she could make her hurt disappear.
"Sometimes I wish I could just run away for a while, run and keep running until everything wasn't so messy. Wasn't so hard to figure out. I know it's crazy but, you can't control what you feel." Suddenly, looking up at Sango, she smiled, one of the only smiles Sango has seen cross her face in a while.
"If I do run Sango, on the off chance I do, I always love the stars." Both looking towards the twinkling lights.
"Most likely I'll go towards the stars. In my time, you can't really see them all that much but here, it seems you can stare at them forever"
So there they sat, both looking at the sky until one slowly fell back into her dreams….
Sitting straight up with a shock, Sango looked around wildly, not realizing she fell asleep.
Breathing hard and having woken up Kirara, she snuggled into her mistresses' lap, hoping to provide some form of comfort.
'…. I'll go towards the stars' thought Sango.
Standing quickly, ignoring the groggery and frustrated questions of her campions she looked around slowly, turning in a circle until she found what she was looking for.
"Kirara, up!"
Transforming at the command and hopping on her back, Sango took to the skies still ignoring the shouts below.
Turning Kirara she spotted what she hopped too, there at the tops of the trees, was a break, small enough to provide some privacy but still wide enough to stumble onto accidently.
Marking the pathway Kagome must have walked, she concluded that she must have stumbled there in that clearing. When they lost her trail, they debated on the way to continue walking: left or right.
Both directions had markings of someone being there, but none were definite enough to tell if it was Kagome.
It seemed they were all wrong, when in fact they should have gone straight, towards the unknown clearing.
After all, it must have the perfect view to see the stars.
Coming down from Kiara, smiling she faced her confused campions to relay her thoughts.
Breathing hard Kagome stood, never had she seen this many soul collectors and never had they behaved like this, well in all the situations she encountered them anyways.
With an opening made in a few of them, she wasn't that surprised to see Kikyo walking towards her, he expression calculating and if she wasn't wrong even a little surprised herself.
"I see you discovered the power of astral projection, little Miko" was all she said, her voice detached
Shocked, words failed her at this moment, her mouth only opening and closing as each thought came and went, not knowing what to say or what to do before finally deciding on a confused "what?"
Walking closer until she was a mere five feet away, Kikyo repeated that strange word.
"What is Astral Projection?" Kagome, struggling with the strange wording finally asked
"It's when your spite can leave your body temporarily" arching her brow she continued "it's a…quite advanced tactic that a miko may be able to do. If her will and power are strong enough of course, not to mention in harmony with each other to make it work."
Blinking Kagome looked down at her body, frowning she turned back to Kikyo who still held her emotionless gaze.
"But it still feels like my body, except…more free… in a way" tilting her head she remembered her cut from the battle from earlier "and when I got hurt, I felt it, I even saw blood, how is that possible" keeping her questioning gaze on Kikyos.
"Whatever happens to you in this form will happen to your physical body. That blood you saw was simply a connection being made from your spiritual part to your physical.
In this form, you can do almost anything that your body limits it from doing. Including having the full force of your power at your disposal." Pursing her lips, Kikyo lifted her gaze "as well as calling a fellow sister when needed"
Blinking Kikyo continued before Kagome could get a word in "I may be a dead woman physically but that doesn't mean my energy is dead, I heard your call for help even if you didn't mean to.
While being free from your body, your spirit is free to all its potential, spiritual or otherwise. When in this form I can feel your energy, your emotions. You were feeling lost and confused. I wanted to see for myself what caused this sudden change."
"So this, projection, how did I even do it? I don't remember much after I entered this clearing? How do I even get back?" Kagome asked, confused
"How you achieved it personally? That I can't be too sure of, though I suspect most of what caused it was the shikon no tama shards you have around your neck." Pointing at Kagome's necklace.
"You know how they work, multiplying the wearer's power? Whatever you did last from the memories of being in the physical word before entering the spiritual must have been the trigger. Though the barrier stretching around your body and the one protecting this clearing is all your doing, I must say. In a flash, Kagome barely noticing Kikyo's expression softened slightly before saying "Even I wasn't powerful enough to do a complete astral projection, much less two barriers for protection. I'm…I'm proud of you" she said almost stiffly and Kagome couldn't hide her shocked expression
"Take it as you will but from a Miko to a Miko, well done" She said almost giving Kagome a small smile. Almost.
Turning her expression hard again she gave a warning
"Although you can be your most powerful in this state, its where your body is at its weakest. If anything happens to your body before you can return it…." Kikyo trailed off, giving Kagome a hard stare and Kagome nodding in understanding.
"As for returning back to your body…well you know how you got out, simply do the same to get back in" and with that Kikyo retreated turning her back on her and slowly walking the way she came
"Wait! But I don't know what I did? Wait!" But Kagome's screams were futile for as fast she approached she was already gone.
Sighing in frustration she looked down at her body but with more hope than she had before.
Kikyo may be an infuriating woman who should be her rival in every way however Kagome couldn't help but think now that she was simply a complicated woman who had more sides to her than even InuYasha realized.
Walking along the forest floor, her soul collectors at her sides, Kikyo mused just what about that little miko that was so… interesting.
Even with the Shikon no tama shards she couldn't have been able to have that much power to astral project much less provide protection for herself.
Twitching her lips, she meant what she said, she was proud of her for accomplishing something that no miko has ever done since Midoriko, herself included. A feat like that deserves recognition. However, she couldn't hide her envy as well as her dislike that she had to be the one to give it.
Her heart wasn't as pure, a fact she had long made peace with, her heart tainted by hate and greed for the souls that keep her living in this world. Yet she wonders about the pure heart she just encountered, that Kagome's energy was as powerful as it was.
How pure it was, the warmth and love coming from a woman that should hate her yet she was inviting her in. Although she felt the specks of darkness that always lies in a human's heart it was simply the jealously of what she and InuYasha had and to Kagome's mind still does.
Perhaps it would have been nice to admit the truth of his visits to her, how they did nothing but talk and strategize even on the very rare occasion when InuYasha admitted feelings for the girl yet his stubbornness and pride took away all chance of talking further.
Smiling she probably wouldn't have spoken even if the chance presented itself again. The thought of losing her once beloved is still quite raw and if there's no trouble with leaving a mystery to be solved in a budding romance than she couldn't be the blame for it not being solved.
Yes, her heart was not pure but that doesn't mean she is heartless. She would hate to admit it but she has a certain fondness for the girl that is her reincarnation.
Never the less, Kagome is quite an interesting girl indeed.
"We can't get through"
"What the hell do you mean we can't get through! Of course we can get through!" InuYasha seethed at the monk.
"The barrier is too strong for me to break it and if tessaiga can't break it well…" trailing off at the sight of InuYasha's redden face he simply stood back as he watched his friend keep slashing at the invisible wall.
InuYasha to his credit, hasn't wavered in determination, simply trying new ways to get around, cut through and even at one point simply running into the wall that seemed to separate Kagome from her very determined hanyo.
Sango, riding on Kirara spotted Kagome lying under a tree but was too far up and couldn't go any further down to make sure if she was alright.
At this news the determined hanyo wasn't simply determined anymore but was positively savage to get through, confirmation of his Kagome on the other side of this damn wall giving him more strength than he thought possible.
Growling loudly and using all of his strength, he was absolutely sure this attack would work with cutting a path needed for them to get through.
"Kagome I'm coming!" and with a battle cry the red tessaiga made a slight opening at contact and that was all he needed to slip through, Kagome's scent hitting him hard and it was like coming home.
"Kagome, don't worry, I'm coming for you!"
Pacing back and forth still stuck in the spiritual world, Kagome was quite literally stuck.
Thinking hard all she remembered was simply wanting to get away, to have some peace and quiet to herself but this was far more than what she thought.
"Think Kagome!"
Racking her head for ideas, she tried wishing herself back, praying herself back, asking the sacred jewel and even full on diving into her body hoping it would work.
Still nothing.
Although the dirt wasn't so bad when she dived, she got a very detailed look at all the bugs that lived in the ground and was promptly convinced that when she did get back, she was going to have a very long bath.
Hitting her head, she tried thinking what her friends would do.
Sango…she would probably do what I did which was re-wish herself back
Miroku…well Kagome didn't even want to think what the monk might do
Shippo…would probably dive and have a face full of dirt
InuYasha…. what would InuYasha do?
Honestly he was such a wildcard she had no clue. All she knew was that he wouldn't give up. Plus, would throw in as many curse words as he could while he was at it.
Biting her lip, she felt the tingling sensation again except this time it was strangely different and when she heard his voice she instantly knew why.
"Kagome!"
Turning sharply, she saw the trees move by the wind and before she could blink there he was, standing at the edge, breathing hard and eyes directly on her.
Well, her body.
"Kagome" he whispered
Running towards her he went to touch her shoulder when his band was blocked by a sharp sting.
"Kagome! Kagome are you okay? Kagome!"
He can't even see me Kagome thought, looking at the poor man who looked almost as lost and broken as could be.
Frustrated he started banging on the barrier around her body, not daring using the tessaiga in fear of hurting her.
Kagome hearing Kirara behind her heard similar shouts of "Kagome!" by Miroku and Sango.
Rushing towards her (body) they looked on as InuYasha continued to beat at the barrier, having no luck and no clue as how to break it.
"I can't get to her!" he screamed helplessly
Seeing as if he could cry Kagome felt like crying herself.
"I'm right here! Can't any of you hear me! I'm right here!" she screamed desperately, trying to touch them but her hand just going through their bodies like air.
Kagome sitting down in defeat as she watched her friends helplessly pound at the barrier she didn't notice a curious and worried looking Kirara sniff the air and turned to the empty spot that Kagome sat.
Cautiously moving forward, her nose sniffing the familiar scent, Kagome turned to see a curious looking Kirara staring right at her.
Standing up, Kirara moved back a few paces, giving her room to stand.
"Kirara?" Kagome said as the cat demon's ear perked at the sound of her voice.
"Kirara! You can see me!" Kagome smiled joyfully as she threw herself into Kirara's fur. Kirara, meowing happily to see the girl unharmed.
Sango, noticing Kirara's strange behavior, saw her partner purring and cuddling the air lifting her head as if she was being scratched.
"Kirara? You okay girl?" Sango asked softly
Kirara meowed again, turning towards a spot next to her.
Knitting her brows together she tried to make out the message Kirara was trying to get across.
Moving closer to the spot she could tell something was… off.
It felt different here, stronger.
"Hey guys! Kirara may have found something" Sango called to her friends.
Miroku and InuYasha turning their attention on her saw the spot that Sango was referring too and right away Miroku knew something was different.
"There's energy there. All in that one spot"
"Oi, how is that going to help Kagome?" InuYasha nearly yelled, not liking that he wasn't focused on retrieving his girl. Not knowing if she was okay or not…
"We need to help her!" he screamed
Kagome, happy that she finally got their attention started to walk, hoping that Kirara would follow and her friends would catch on. They may not be able to hear or see her, but they could sense her.
Doing what she hoped they would, they followed her aura until she was standing right behind the barrier.
Remembering what Kikyo had told her she bit her lip hoping it would work.
She was thinking of her friends when she made the wish, even though they may not have been physically there with her, their energy was.
'In this form you are to do things that your body limits…'
….. including having full access to my power.
Focusing on her friends' energy and using it to fuel her own, she concentrated on the barrier, willing it to let her friends cross.
Feeling it vanishing under her palm she knew it was working and with a loud shout she knew it was a success.
"Kagome!" InuYasha screamed as the barrier was pulled down.
Collecting her in his arms, her body felt so cold and was so still he panicked at the thought that she was…that she may….
Panicking he placed his head on her chest and hearing her soft heartbeat, laid his worst fears to rest.
"Kagome" he whispered softly, using one claw to push a piece of hair away from her face.
Seeing him being so kind to her, tears came to Kagome's eyes, wishing more than anything that she could feel herself being held in his arms and that she was right there with him again.
Closing her eyes, she felt a sharp jolt and found herself slowly blinking, her eyelids feeling much heavier than before.
Seeing InuYasha's face when she opened them, she saw that she was laying on the ground, her body nestled in his chest as she heard her name being whispered over and over again.
"InuYasha" she whispered, her vision going dark once more.
Groaning, Kagome could feel nothing but pain as she slowly lifted her head, her eyes heavy and foggy as she tried to get her bearings.
"Kagome!" Hearing her name, she turned towards the sound, seeing Sango resting beside her with a relived look on her face.
"I'm so glad you're okay" Sango whispered, hugging her friend tightly.
Grunting, she tried to sit up only to be stopped by Sango's hand.
"You shouldn't move yet; you're not healed fully."
Blinking, she tried swallowing only finding that her throat was parched and dry. Seeing Kagome wince Sango quickly fetched some water and gave Kagome the ladle the sip from.
"Sango?" Kagome whispered "What…where am I? What Happened?"
"Your back in the village, in Kaede's hut. As for what happened, we were hoping you could tell us" Sango said
Looking around the hut she didn't see her hanyo anywhere. Before she could ask, Sango answered with a grim smile.
"InuYahsa went to bath with Miroku and Shippo, he hasn't left your side for almost two weeks and it took all of us to convince him to clean, if only for a short while. Kaede still isn't back from her trip yet so I wanted to stay behind to guard you. I'm so glad that your finally awake" Sango whispered, her eyes turning glossy before blinking her tears away.
"Only InuYasha's luck that you wake and he's not here" Looking towards the door, willing for them to hurry up she looked back at Kagome, who quietly lied back down, exhausted. "They should be back any second now." Sango rushed to sooth her.
Nodding her head, Kagome tried to recall the events that led her here. She remembered being upset with InuYasha and went to take a walk. She recalled finding a clearing and seeing the stars. She was fighting some kind of demon… looking down at her bandaged arm she remembered the gash it caused her but she didn't remember that it caused this much blood.
She was scared of something and was lost but then Kikyo showed up and…
With a gasp Kagome shot up, whimpering in pain as she did so. Looking down her body had many cuts and bruises around it, including a particular nasty gash wound in her middle, the source of the majority of her discomfort.
Laying back down, Sango trying to sooth her, she saw a familiar face running up the hill towards the hut.
Finally, he's back thought Sango, relived.
Moving from her place beside Kagome, she saw InuYasha gave a short shout of "Kagome!" before darting in, kneeling by her side.
Supporting her upper body and minding her wounds, he crushed her towards him, too relived for words at seeing her eyes finally open.
Giving an unheard sigh of relief, he hugged her, happy to feel her in his arms, her steady and strong heartbeat music to his ears.
Ignoring the little runt who quickly went to her uninured side, Shippo hugged his mama fiercely, not even noticing InuYasha's small smile at their affection when Kagome patted Shippo's head.
Shippo, having been forced to stay behind at the village incase Kagome returned, panicked to tears when he saw InuYasha cradling Kagome's lifeless body in his arms, the weary faces of Miroku and Sango not giving him any comfort.
Wailing pitifully behind Sango's leg, he ran over to Kagome, lying beside her as he ignored InuYasha's warning growl as he covered her in a blanket, smoothing her hair in the process.
Sniffling he did all he could to get his adoptive mother to wake, singing a song she taught him, stroking her cheek, telling jokes about InuYasha (though he didn't appreciate them and had a sore head to prove it) even cuddling beside her, careful of her middle.
He missed her and he wanted her to wake up now!
InuYasha even tried to help. He washed her face with a soft cloth, burning herbs that he knew Kagome liked the smell of and even wasn't mean to me, Sango or Miroku!
This gentle side of InuYahsa kind of freaked him out to be honest but then again Miroku was acting strange too, not trying to touch Sango's bottom even once!
He frowned, not liking everyone's sour mood and after two weeks of this, did was Sango asked and convinced InuYasha to bath with him and Miroku.
He was not happy about that idea.
But they left only to return to find Kagome awake!
InuYasha, having caught her scent first ran on ahead leaving Miroku and himself still in the springs.
Having finally returned and seeing his mama awake he gave a happy cry and quickly snuggled up to her, giving a contented sigh when he felt her hand rub his head.
After a week of her moving around and Sango and Miroku yelling at InuYasha not to 'pressure Kagome into talking'
He found himself, nestled in Kagome's lap, her hand stroking his hair with InuYasha on their right, his arm around Kagome and Sango on their left, slapping Miroku for touching her bottom.
Why he would always do that he doesn't know.
He looked up at Kagome as she smiled sweetly at InuYasha, him giving a loud "keh" as he gave her the raman he hid in his sleeve.
Giggling, he shrank into Kagome when he saw InuYaha's glare but stared in surprised when he didn't hit him.
Looking all around him it seemed everything was back to normal and he yawned when he finished his meal.
Kagome noticing, picked up the small kitsune, putting him in his blankets in the corner of the hut away from the light and noise of the others.
"Kagome?"
She turned hearing his voice.
"I know you don't want to talk about it but I just want you to know that I'm glad your spirit is okay" Shippo said tiredly
Kagome, blinking in surprise at Shippo's words kneeled down beside him, still careful of her healing wound.
"Why do you say that Shippo?" Kagome asked quietly, noticing the conversation from the fire going quiet
"Cause you left it for a long time and sprites can get hurt if they leave. My papa once saw a miko do that trick but she got hurt when she came back. That's why I'm glad your spirit isn't hurt" Shippo finished, tiredly. With a grim smile and a kiss to head he fell asleep quickly.
Biting her lip Kagome knew she couldn't avoid talking about it now, seeing the range of expressions staring back at her.
"…. I still don't know how I did it." Kagome finished telling her tale of astral projection. "It was just like, suddenly I was back again and all I remember doing is having a desire to be here again."
All of them strangely quiet; InuYasha, Sango and Miroku all had frowns of confusion on their faces at Kagome's experience.
Even though all their questions have been answered, even ones about Kikyo's role in the whole thing, all of them had one question on their mind: How and Why was Kagome able to do this feat?
Although InuYasha had another thing on his mind. Growling lowly, stood up quickly and ran out the door, leaving a terse excuse of 'going for a walk' behind him.
Sango and Miroku shrugged, looking at Kagome who stared at the empty doorway.
Frowning she turned to them and said she was going to look for him, going no further than the lake.
Since the scare from last time, both of them watched her like a hawk and anytime she went somewhere alone she had to tell them when and where she was going. Not that she blamed them of course. If the roles were reversed, she would do the same thing.
Walking to the lake, she saw the familiar outline of InuYasha, sitting where she always sat, looking across the lake.
Coming up behind him, she quietly sat down, looking in the same direction.
After three years traveling with InuYasha, Kagome has learned when to speak and when to let him talk whenever he seemed to be troubled.
This time was no different.
Placing a hand on his shoulder, he tensed, letting his head hang before softly speaking
"I'm sorry"
Taken aback, Kagome could feel her mouth drop open. It was very rare for InuYasha to apologize to anyone and even rarer when the apology was to her.
"When we were searching for you, Sango told me why you always came here. I could always smell your scent here but I thought you just liked looking at the stars. I never thought it was because you were sad."
Tensing, InuYasha scowled at the ground, not daring to look at the woman beside him who's hand felt like the best and worst thing in the world.
"I didn't know you thought those things. I didn't know I led you to believe such things – "chocking on his words, Kagome took a shaky breath. Not knowing what to do, she did the only thing that she could do.
She hugged him.
Taking a sharp breath InuYasha spun her in front of him, his hands on her waist and looking straight at her.
For once he actually looked at her. Really looked at her.
The way her eyes always told exactly what she was feeling. How she bit her lip whenever she was nervous. How soft and soothing her hair was when he combed his claws through it. How soft her skin was, how cute she was when she blushed and how absolutely beautiful she was when he finally noticed her.
Kagome.
When he thought he lost her, when he saw her laying there so still and when she didn't wake up… he didn't know what to do.
He felt anger and frustration and guilt but there was feeling that he just couldn't name. The sinking in his stomach, the smile that crossed his face when he saw her smile, the peace he felt when he was around her… and the complete despair he felt when he thought he lost her.
That was something he had never felt before.
Now, looking at her, seeing her breathing, her eyes bright with emotion, cheeks stained with pink and lips slightly parted, feeling he heartbeat as he did his, he knew what that emotion was.
Blinking, hugged her tight to his chest, hearing her take in a gasp at the unexpected show of affection.
Sango told him, quite angrily in fact, that Kagome felt she was second best, that she had nothing to offer besides her skills and "jewel detector senses".
That she was just a replacement for Kikyo.
He couldn't have the one he wanted, Sango had screamed at him, so he plays with the one he has. He had never been so angry before but has also never been so ashamed.
He had no idea of Kagome's feelings toward him.
Especially when Sango mentioned love.
When he angrily shot back that yes, he did love Kagome, Sango screamed as to why he would visit Kikyo so often, always at her beck and call like a "good dog that he was"
He nearly lunged at her if not for Miroku standing in the way.
Screaming back that he only talked to her for sake of finding Naraku and even seeking advice about the emotion in question. At the confession that was enough to stop Sango in her rant.
Staring blankly at him, she asked him one simple question
"Then why not tell her, stupid?"
He would have to think her one day he decided, because he was going to do just that.
Feeling his arms around her, Kagome blinked in surprised but relaxed into the embrace, slowly bringing her arms around him to complete the hug.
Tangling her fingers into his soft silver hair, she saw his ears twitch in satisfaction and she smiled into his shoulder, wanting nothing more than to lay her head in the crook of his neck.
Biting her lip, she felt his hand come up to the back of her head, softly stroking her hair as he brought her head slowly to where she wanted it to be.
Laying down her head, she happily closed her eyes at InuYasha's sudden gentle nature. She made a content noise in the back of her throat that sent a furious blush to her cheeks.
InuYasha simply cradled her more into his chest, dipping his head into her hair as he took in deep breaths of her scent. Happy that she was responding well to his show of affection.
Taking a breath of courage, he pulled back, gentle of her body until he was looking at her face, her contented smile giving the rest of the courage he needed to say the words out loud.
"Kagome I…." stopping he saw Kagome's smile grow softer, her expression patiently for what he needed to say.
"Kagome" he repeated "I'm glad you're not Kikyo" he finally said, happy to see her smile widened at his words
"I know you think that I want her but that's not true stupid" he hastily got out "I wanted you, because you're not her. I wanted you because your you. You're the only you that's ever going to count and you're the only one that I love – "Stopping short at his confession he hadn't quite planned to tell her that way and seeing the tears in Kagome's eyes he knew he screwed up somehow.
Before having the chance to say anything more however, he found Kagome tackling him to the ground and preparing himself to be 'sat' fully into the ground he was surprised to have Kagome hug him tightly instead.
Having her body on top of his sent chills down his spine, a feeling that he quite liked he realized.
When her body shifted and brushed his unmentionables accidently, he blushed as the chills turned into something more.
Really liked it, he decided
Smiling widely Kagome said the words that let him do something he only imagined he would.
"I love you too"
And at those words he put his lips to hers and at that moment he knew they were going to be okay.
More than okay.
When Kagome opened his mouth as she did hers and kissed him more passionately he crushed her to his chest.
Way more than okay.
When the sky was dark and the stars were out, Kagome made her way to lake and sat down as she usually did, bringing her knees up to her chest and placing her chin on her knees.
However, this time, instead of shedding tears of sorrow she shed tears of laughter as InuYasha tickled her sides when he slid in behind her, she making herself comfortable on his lap as she laid her head on his chest, him kissing her softly on the top of her head as they watched the stars' twinkle in the sky.
A/N: Thank you so much for reading this fic and please before you go don't forget to leave me a review, I would love to know what you think, especially after being gone so long. If you noticed any grammar errors or the such let me know, this went un-betaed so I was on my own here. A second pair of eyes will be welcomed! Also the editing was weird on the fan fiction site so any weird spacing catches your eye, forgive me, still trying figure out the system.