Disclaimer: Seriously. I don't own anything. Nothing.

This is seriously just something me and Jessie (youcangoogleit) came up with while looking at pictures from the set. Most of these situations are going to be inspired by them. D

"I really don't understand why we're getting coffee," I muttered, holding on for my life as Emmett drove to Starbucks.

"Well, it's like Jasper's obsession and it's today's daily activity that involves you to piss of Edward," he explained.

Jasper just sat quietly in the passenger seat. "Don't you have anything to say about this?"

"Nope," Jasper said, looking out the dark window.

I sat back against the seat with a frustrated sigh. Edward was the only one who was supposed to be able to kidnap me. Well, more like human nap me. But whatever, Emmett and Jasper were breaking the rules. I supposed it was more of Emmett's idea, but still. They were human napping me and taking me to go get coffee. Why did Edward have to pick now to go hunting? And why the hell had Alice and Rose actually let their life partners take me in a car…to go get coffee?

Ugh, some things just can not be explained with common logic. We arrived, and Emmett and Jasper got out of the car. "C'mon, Bells, we're not going to hurt you. It's just coffee," Emmett laughed, opening my door and practically pulling me out.

I let out another frustrated sigh as he half pulled me into the Starbucks. "We should order first, Jazzy here takes forever and a day to order his," Emmett stated, walking up to the counter. "We'll need a white chocolate mocha for this young lady here. And for him-"

"Iced, half-caff, ristretto, quad, grande, two-pump raspberry, two precent, no-whip, with bar caramel drizzle, three and a half pump, White mocha," Jasper stated.

I noticed how slowly he said it, it must have killed him to not talk at vampiric speed. The lady behind the counter still seemed shocked. "O-okay, FRED DID YOU GET ALL THAT?"

"Yep," came a very gay sounding voice.

I wanted to run away. Run away with Edward and never come back. Stupid, crazy, scheming mate of Rosalie who makes fun of me way too much, stupid too quiet mate of Alice who is way too obsessed with coffee for a vampire, crazy freaking Rosalie who just wants to look at herself and rape Emmett, damn Alice and her visions keeping me from running away with my best friend for even a minute and humannapping me constantly to keep her damn car, stupid Carlisle for putting me in casts all the time and fixing me when I'm broken, dumb Esme who has to be so motherly amazing and makes me think twice about this damn rant, and damn my fiancé who actually thinks I want to be here right now.

Emmett shoved the coffee thingie into my hands and instructed, "Drink, right now Bells."

I looked at him skeptically and then put it up to my mouth, and took a sip. I was thoroughly surprised. "Holy cow, that actually tastes sort of good."



Emmett nodded, with a huge smile on his face. He led me over to a table and made me sit down. Jasper joined us a few seconds later. "Jasper, can I ask you something?" I said.

"If it has to do with why I'm drinking coffee, then no, you may not," he replied, looking at his coffee like I'd often seen him look at Alice.

"Oh, okay."

And so we sat there and drank our coffee for a few seconds. "Emmett, why don't you have any coffee?" I asked.

"Because I'm not that stupid," he smiled back.

"Oh."

"Time to go home!" Emmett said, looking at his phone. "Alice says Edward'll be home in ten minutes, and if I don't have you back by then, he's going to have a girly little hissy fit."

"My greek god doesn't have girly little hissy fits," I half hissed at him.

"Wow, your greek god?"

"Did I really say that out loud?" I asked.

"Yep," Jasper nodded, standing up, walking out to the car without us.

"C'mon, time to get you home," Emmett said, dragging me back out to the car.

I was turning into a regular rag doll. So we drove, way too fast, fast enough that if it wasn't for the fact that I was avoiding looking out the window and wasn't in the back seat, I would probably be puking up white mocha crap all over the car. We got back to the Cullen's house just in time. Edward pulled up right behind us. I got out of the car, seriously bouncing. "So this is what caffeine does to her," Emmett commented as I bounced up to Edward.

"What did you two do to her? She's acting like the pixie!" my greek god cried out.

"I had coffee, Edward! It tasted sooo good. At first I didn't want any, but then Emmett ordered it anyway and it tasted amazing and I want more! Do you think we can go back tomorrow?" I giggled out.

Edward looked murderously at Jasper and Emmett. "You know, Jasper, you're just going to have to barf that up later. "

"I don't care, it tastes good going down, Sex ED!" Jasper screamed back, stomping back into the house.

"Well, that's kind of a waste," laughed Edward.

Alice stuck her head out the window and looked down. "Would you rather him be drinking Bella?"



Edward glared and kissed my forehead. "No, of course not."

I smiled and then turned to go harass Emmett. "Will you bring me back there tomorrow? Please?" I begged.

"Um no. Tomorrow I need a different plan of something to do with you to piss of Edward."

"Oh," I said, disappointed.

This was going to be a long week. I could already see that.