Disclaimer: I do not own CCS or the song "My only love" Clamp owns CCS and Sailor Moon owns the song.
'Thoughts' or Writing.
Music.
My Only Love
"I love you so much Syaoran." She whispered to no one, "I only want you to be happy and obviously you're not happy with me."
With the lights off and the blinds closed, I Li sat alone in the darkness of her home. She was rethinking her life and was wondering how it came to be like this. Three years into her marriage with the famous Syaoran Li, she saw the signs. The signs showed that her husband no longer loved her. He came home late from work every night and he would never spend more than five minutes in the same room with her. She hurt so much. She tried so hard to make him love her again. Making all his favorite meals, surprising him at his office with lunch (that didn't work out very well. His secretary told her to leave and said that he didn't want to bothered at the moment), and waiting for him to come home at night are some of the many things that she tried to do. A song on the radio awoke her from her thoughts.
Deep in my soul
Love so strong
It takes control
'He doesn't love me,' she thought, 'he loves his job a lot more than me. He'd be better off without me.'
Now we both know
The secrets bared
The feelings show
She picked up a pen and paper and began to write:
Dear Syaoran,
I know for a fact that by the time you read this it would be too late. I would have left. I just want you to know that even though you don't care anymore I still do. When I'm gone I want you to be happy. I love you so much. I really wish that this could have worked out for us. Every night I used to imagine how we would spend the rest of our life with our kids (if we ever had any), our anniversaries, the kisses we'd share, the nights where you would hug me because it was cold. I pictured us having such a perfect life together. I guess that was silly of me.
Driven far apart
I'll make a wish
On a shooting star
Maybe in this lifetime we weren't meant to be. Maybe another time, another place we could be together forever.
There will come a day
Somewhere far away
In your arms I'll stay
My only love
I love you so much that it hurts me. I'm not kidding dear it hurts so much. I care for you a lot. I really do need you in my life. Without you here I don't feel the need to be here. I feel empty with only thoughts of you in my head.
Even though you're gone
Love will still live on
The feeling is so strong
My only love
Syaoran, remember when we were younger? You knew me so well. You always knew when something was wrong and how to cheer me up. I now wonder, what changed? Did I becoming unappealing to you? Did I offend you in any way? Do you think that we should have only stayed friends and never become lovers? Do you regret us? Well, it doesn't matter anymore. Please, remember you will always be in my heart. Always and forever.
There will come a day
Somewhere far away
In your arms I'll stay
My only love
You've reached the deepest part
Of the secret in my heart
I've known it from the start
My only love
Tears were falling from her face. She couldn't make it stop. 'I have to finish this. I just have to' she thought.
Please be happy, okay? That's all I want. That's all I ever wanted. I love Syaoran Li. I really do.
Goodbye,
Sakura Li
There will come a day
Somewhere far away
In your arms I'll stay
My only love
'There it's done,' she thought as she pulled out a small silver pistol and held it to her head, 'I love you Syaoran. I wish I could have seen you one last time.'
"Sakura, Love, I'm home early today! Do you want to go to lunch? Just the two of us?"
BANG!
"Dear!?" he shouted as he ran up the stairs.
Syaoran opened the door and saw his beloved wife on floor in a puddle of blood.
"Sakura!" he collapsed to his knees. "No! Please don't leave me!"
He knew it was too late. He saw the letter addressed to him in her hands. He read it.
"Sakura! I love you! I do! I really do!" he cried in frustration as he picked her up, "I'm so sorry."
"I love you so much," he whispered to her, hoping that she would somehow hear his words, "I need you."
He called 911 and reported his wife died.
One month later-
Syaoran and a small group of Sakura's closest friends were gathered at her funeral.
"You have to move on." Said one of Sakura's best friends, Tomoyo Daidouji
"I can't Tomoyo. I still love her. And this is my entire fault."
"But you have to. She wants you to be happy."
"Tomoyo, on the day that she died I came home early. If had come home a little earlier I could have prevented this."
"You have to stop. You just have to."
"I never got to tell her."
"Tell her what?"
"That she was and will be my only love"
My only love
Fin.
A/n- This story is so sad. I cried while writing it. I know that this is depressing but I'm not in the best of moods right now. Please review this and read and review my other story so that I can update it soon. Thanks!