Still trying to maintain control, Ms. Lawson?
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A/N: Finally (ugh, don't want to read that chapter over anymore, you can have it!) ... turns out it only took watching a couple of ME3-clips for new ideas to pop up... (Oh Kaidan, you weird, weird man... more about him in the second chapter... :) )
To the story in general: it's mainly from Miranda's perspective and I won't go into detail what happened in those situations between Shepard and her crew, we'll just have to take her word for it... ;)
I also try to stick to the story, which turned out to be pretty hard sometimes, switching back and forth between the original characters and my creations (cold vs. weird...), we'll see how that turns out...
Oh and in case you wonder: I got bored of writing down their entire conversations, so I just decided Miranda wouldn't tell Shepard about her sister. Maybe it was just me but as much as I loved Miri in ME2, she was kinda starting to piss me off... "So, you just ordered me back to the Citadel just to tell me that you're in trouble but STILL don't need my help?" WTF?
Now I hope you'll have fun reading it...
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"Commander, you have an encrypted message from a... Miranda Lawson."
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Shepard's head rose as she entered the CIC. Oblivious to Samantha Traynor's watchful eyes, ready to pick up any reaction to her not exactly coincidental announcement, Shepard approached her private terminal, still grinning after her short talk with Wrex in the Normandy's new War Room.
Oh how I've missed my favorite little krogan clan leader... Makes all the negotiations between the krogans, turians and salarians a lot more fun...
"Well, I guess we'll head to the Citadel, then..." she decided without letting any kind of reaction to her former lover's message show on her face while scanning the rest of the new messages quickly.
No reaction. That's a good sign, Samantha, that's a good sign...
Shepard winked at a slightly blushing Samantha before heading for the cockpit to inform Joker about their new destination (and making sure he wasn't getting too distracted by his new copilot).
Another bloody ship... and another one... aaaand another bloody ship...
Miranda sighed and averted her gaze from the window showing the Citadel's outstretched arms and instead observed the door leading to the Normandy's airlock for what felt like the hundredth time. She had tried to distract herself by observing the passing ships after her heartbeat had started to increase its speed at the sight of the Normandy docking at the Citadel a while ago but it seemed to not have helped at all.
That was ten bloody minutes ago! How long can it possibly take to leave that ship?
Miranda felt her nervous anger rise up again. It seemed like the entire crew of the Normandy had left the ship already, all except for one particular person...
And then, finally, before Miranda could decide to trip the passing keeper up (Bloody useless creatures! What's it even doing, always walking to and fro?) in pent-up aggression, the door opened again and Miranda's grip on the railing tightened immediately.
Damn it, I've missed her! she had to admit to herself while relishing the sight in front of her.
Shepard gracefully made her way to the Viewing Deck... or maybe Shepard's pace just seemed to be graceful to her, Miranda didn't really care...
Six months... How come she never tried to contact me? Her hair is longer now... Did she always have that sway in her hips?
However, Miranda's thoughts were interrupted as Shepard walked toward her and... passed her by with a quick wink, approaching a man leaning against the railing not far from where Miranda had positioned herself.
What the...? Did she just pass me by without a backward glance? ME?
Miranda blinked in confusion before inconspicuously leaning backwards just a bit to get a better look at the commander and her companion.
Oh, that's right, just show off a little more why don't you... I'm sure she'll be impressed by all those muscles. Yuh, she's looking alright, I bet she can hardly restrain herself... God, that woman... It should be her lusting after me! Why do I even bother? There are still many other options out there for me... I wonder what Jacob's up to these days...
Oh, really? Does his outfit have to be so tight around the chest? Can he even breathe in that thing? Aaaand the next pose, in case she hasn't noticed your muscly arms before already... Leaning against a railing is my pose, you bloody imitator! Ugh, it's like she's devouring him with her eyes... Too bad I can't hear anything...
She shot a quick angry glare at the turian and his wife saying their goodbyes nearby whose conversation drowned out everything Shepard and her companion said.
Just as she was about to inch a little closer to the commander, she saw Shepard nodding at her companion once and then finally making her way over to where Miranda was strangling the railing. She quickly turned her head back towards the window and feigned watching the passing ships again until she felt Shepard's presence behind her.
As soon as she was convinced that Shepard was actually waiting behind her and wasn't just passing her by a second time (The nerve...), she silently counted to ten (That's for making me bloody wait!) and took one last deep breath before she turned around as gracefully as possible considering her racing heart.
"Shepard. It's so good to finally see you."
With regret, she had to admit that the sarcastic emphasis she'd intended to put on the word "finally" wasn't as audible as she'd hoped, but Shepard seemed to have picked up on it nevertheless. The commander nervously scratched her shoulder while answering. "You too, Miranda."
Lifting her gaze from Shepard's hand to her face, Miranda's eyes widened as she spotted the bruised spot on Shepard's lower lip she must have missed while "observing" the commander the first time.
"Shepard, are you alright? Are you hurt?" she asked concernedly while her hand automatically reached for Shepard's bruised lip, gently stroking the commander's chin with her thumb, careful to avoid the bruised spot.
"Yeah, I ran into Jack a while back... Didn't think it would be necessary to waste medi-gel on something like that..."
Miranda's hand dropped immediately. She met Jack before she met me? What, am I the last one of her former crew she meets? Would it have even crossed her bloody mind to meet me if I hadn't sent her that message? And Jack of all people...
"Again?" Miranda sighed.
"No, not like that!" Shepard was quick to assure her as she noticed Miranda's expression, remembering the last time Miranda had caught her with a bruised lip from Jack. "She actually hit me. And that's all that was to it. Really."
Miranda simply nodded, not the slightest bit convinced. Her eyes unintentionally wandered back to the man still leaning against the railing.
I bet his bruises aren't as visible...
"Listen, I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to keep you waiting, but I had to check on Cortez first. He's part of my new crew and he's having..."
"Speaking of which..." Miranda interrupted her. "Shepard, I went through your crew list and... your new yeoman is a... Samantha Traynor..."
"Actually, she's a Comm Specialist, but go on..."
Miranda's eyebrow rose momentarily before she continued, "Has she... has she tried anything?"
"Tried anything?" Now it was Shepard's turn to raise an eyebrow, her expression showing honest confusion.
No need to fill her in, then. Don't want her to get any ideas already...
Miranda turned and started walking past Shepard (brushing her arm in the process... by accident, of course...), forcing her to follow and hoping, the commander would quickly forget about her question.
"I couldn't get anywhere near you when the Alliance had you locked up," she started, silently hoping the suggestive tone in her voice would take Shepard's mind off the previous subject for good. Which it did, but not in the way Miranda had anticipated...
"Relieved of duty. It was complicated," Shepard answered while falling into step with her.
"I'm sure it was. I'm surprised they didn't court-martial you. The Alliance isn't known for its flexibility." Speaking of... Miranda's eyes admirably wandered up and down Shepard's form beside her.
"Doesn't matter now," Shepard answered dismissively. Her tone made Miranda pause.
"Shepard, about Earth..." she started, not sure how to address the subject.
"I'm all right. We'll figure out some way to even the odds. We have to." Shepard had stopped as well, her back still turned on Miranda.
"Everybody has a weakness. Even the Reapers," she offered but at the same time knew how weak her encouragement sounded. I wish there was something I could do to help...
Shepard hung her head at the memory of her escape from earth, still not used to the thought that she had been forced to just leave a fight. Miranda couldn't bare the sight any longer, quickly taking the few remaining steps separating them. "I'm sorry, Shepard."
Before she could decide whether it was appropriate to hug the commander or just pat her on the shoulder (after all, there was still that one question she had yet to ask...), Shepard turned her head, changing the subject unexpectedly. "What about you? What brings you here?"
Sensing Shepard's need to change the subject but at the same time suddenly feeling uncomfortable under the commander's gaze, Miranda started to walk again.
I needed to see you! "I need to talk to a few people. Like you." Especially you. "The Citadel is a good place to meet... for now. What's the Alliance's next move?"
"We have a plan. It's a long shot."
Great, just don't tell me anything, that's fine... "Not surprising."
Miranda averted her eyes, trying to calm her racing heart before she asked the questioned she'd asked herself over and over for the last couple of months. Even though she feared the answer (Shepard's unapproachability doing nothing to calm her...), she just had to know...
"Shepard... am I still part of your plan? It's been so long, I wasn't sure where we stood."
Time around them seemed to slow down while Miranda nervously waited for Shepard's answer. She finally raised her head as she felt Shepard taking her hands into her own as she spoke. "Miranda, things are never gonna be easy for us, but I'll always want you in my life."
That's not exactly a clear answer...
"No second thoughts? This is your chance to back out," she offered, a cautious smile appearing on her face.
"Well, now that I think about it... You're right, I still do have other options..."
Miranda's jaw dropped, but before she could decide whether to throw the commander across the hall with her biotics or break down in tears and run away, Shepard squeezed her hands, forcing her to look her in the eyes again. "Wow, you've really missed me, haven't you?"
Miranda rolled her eyes. "Oh please..." Damn it, don't blush, don't blush, don't blush!
Shepard leaned in closer, her lips lightly brushing against Miranda's ear as she whispered, "Good. I've missed you too."
After the sudden rush of emotions had ebbed down, Miranda finally took a long overdue deep breath, the freshly inhaled oxygen reviving her senses enough for her to become aware of all the aliens surrounding them. So instead of making a lunge at Shepard, she leaned forward and quickly planted a shy kiss on her cheek.
"It was hard to be away from you," she admitted. "Surprised myself how... attached I got. I'm not good at attached."
Shepard's smile widened. "So, do you want me to carry your luggage? The Normandy's right over there and as far as I know, it's pretty empty right now, so you'd still have time to get accustomed to my new cabin.."
Miranda sadly shook her head, "Shepard, there are other things I need to take care of..."
"Like what?"
Oh no, please don't look at me like that! I can't tell you about her...
Although Miranda had prepared herself for this response (among others, of course... after all, it wasn't like she'd anticipated Shepard to immediately offer her help, mind you...), she was still surprised at the sudden regret she felt. Not telling Shepard about her sister's disappearance could turn out to be a bigger challenge for her than expected, Shepard's sparkling eyes not making it any easier for Miranda to turn her down...
God, you'd do anythng for me, wouldn't you? But this isn't your mission... You have your hands full already with the entire galaxy waiting for you to pull their bloody asses out of this mess... I can't rely on you just like everybody else this time. They need your help more than I do. Imagine the news: "Reapers won war because saviour of the Citadel was too busy helping former Cerberus operative finding her sister"... Damn it, I didn't think this would be so hard... Focus, Lawson, you've prepared an answer for this!
She shook her head, smiling. "If I need a door or two kicked down, I know just who to call. But for now, I'll be fine."
"Okay. I understand." A door or two kicked down? I can be stealthy too if need be... And with a hopeful smile, Shepard added, "You know, you could always work on the Normandy... Doing your research or whatever you need to do from there..."
Miranda challengingly crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I heard Dr. T'Soni has claimed my office..."
"Well, there's still space for you in my cabin..."
Damn it, that bloody smile...
"I appreciate the offer, but I'll be fine, Shepard. Really."
"Well, it was worth a try..." Noticing Miranda's sad expression, Shepard quickly forced a smile and tried to take her former XO's mind off her obviously troubling thoughts by asking, "Did you try to contact me when I was back on Earth?"
Don't get cocky... "A visit by the former Cerberus second-in-command would have been disastrous. Any kind of secret communication would have looked even worse. I was tempted to break in and see you..." Miranda added, trying hard not to blush at the memory of all the fantasies she'd had.
"That would have been... tough to explain..." Shepard smiled, obviously having a similar mental image, judging by her gleaming eyes.
"Right. Fun and games 'til they'd arrested me or just shot me on sight. I had to play it safe, for both of us." Oh, but it would have been fun...
"I understand." And sensing the end of their conversation, Shepard added, "I've got to get back to it."
"And I should get out of sight."
"Be careful."
"No promises."
A hesitant knock on the door jolted Miranda out of her thoughts.
Damn it, no one's supposed to know I'm here...
The datapad she'd held in her hand a second ago was quickly replaced by her pistol as she got up and cautiously approached the door of her rented room on the Citadel. Hiding the pistol behind her back, she opened the door and exhaled audibly as she recognised her visitor.
"Shepard, what are you doing here?"
"You didn't expect me to just leave you here on your own after our little talk, did you? Oh and by the way, that kiss wasn't nearly-"
Shepard was cut off as Miranda pulled her close and brushed her lips against the commander's.
"Much better." Shepard smiled while licking her lips.
"Just shut up and get in already!"
"So... That well-built man by the Viewing Deck..." Miranda slowly raised her hand, contemplating their intertwined fingers. She was lying next to Shepard, her head comfortably resting on Shepard's shoulder.
"Cortez. My shuttle pilot."
"Any intentions there?"
Shepard gave a short laugh, carefully running her free right hand through Miranda's hair while answering, "Well, he did just lose his husband. I don't think it would have been appropriate for me to make a pass at him... I was actually getting a little worried about him listening to recordings of his husband's death over and over, so I thought it might be good for him to get out of the Normandy for a little while. And since that had been my suggestion, I felt it was also my responsibility to make sure he was doing alright over there..."
Miranda's head rose, her mouth forming an unspoken "Oh", the sight of it causing Shepard to smile and place a quick kiss on her former XO's forehead.
"Besides, I think he's happy enough with the sight of James doing his pull-ups down in the Shuttle Bay for now..."
"That would be James Vega...? The guy with the Mohawk?"
"Uh-huh."
"Any intentions there, then?"
Shepard sighed heavily. "Well, as hard as it may be for me to restrain myself at the sight of muscular bodies," she started while gently poking Miranda's (still very flat, thank you very much!) belly, but was interrupted by her former XO's growl.
"Get out of that bed. Now!"
A/N: Imagine Miranda's last sentence in the same tone she used at the beginning of ME2 when she tells you got get your ass out of the med bed... (just as a random sidenote...)
Anyway... more pillow talk, don't know yet how that'll work out, I quote Jack: I'm not good at this soft stuff... :) Just felt like Miranda needs some closure from time to time (as much fun it's to tease her, even I can be nice from time to time...)
Thoughts?