I Will Follow You Into The Dark
PART I
For a brief moment Amy thought about tearing Karma apart. She knew how she could do it. Seeing Liam Booker right there, pretending to be hurt and filled with misery. It would be all to easy to convince him that Karma hurt her too, because it was true.
The easiest way to hurt Karma would be through Liam. But Amy didn't want to hurt Karma. She didn't want that. All the pain that she felt now, she wished it wasn't there. That was all there was too, just pain. Hurting Karma couldn't help her. Fucking Liam couldn't help her.
"There you are!" Lauren called. "Come on, I'll drive you home."
"Fuck home!" Amy yelled, throwing her glass in the street and laughing as it shattered. "YES! Did you see that?!" Amy shouted.
"Holy hell, woman, how much did you drink?" Lauren grabbed Amy and pushed her off toward the parking lot.
"Not enough, sister, not enough!" Amy called.
"Awww, sister." Lauren squealed at that new affectionate term they could use in love and loathing.
"Oh my god, that's right. We're sisters now!" Amy laughed. "Lauren and Amy, Amy and Lauren, the duo that never dies!"
"Two broken sisters who got dumped at their Mother's wedding."
"We sound so sad when you say it like that." Amy grimaced.
"We are sad, Amy. We are sad." Lauren reminded her with a smile.
Nearing the car Amy took one last look back at Liam.
"Sister… I've been thinking of doing something bad." Amy confessed, her eyes lost on Liam.
"You're coming with me. We are ladies. We are family. And we've no time for drunken vandalism."
"Whattaya mean, we've got plenty of time!" Amy was sure.
"No, we've got a date."
"A date?"
"Yeah, I'm taking you somewhere. It's important."
"What are you talking about?" Amy asked. She was somehow in Lauren's car now, in the passenger seat, and taking her shoes off cause they pinched.
"I've known about your situation for quite some time. Did you know that even though he hates me, Shane tells me everything?"
"NO!" Amy huffed.
"Umm, yes, he does. He's a little rat. I thought you knew that, but okay, I'll tell you again."
"Shut up, he's an angel."
"No, I'm an angel, and you're a mess, and he's a rat, and oh would you just listen, I've planned something for us cause I knew this night had to be special."
"Special for us?" Amy got up on her knees and turned around in her seat. As the car rolled away from the reception she hugged the seat rest and stared sadly back at Liam as he faded away in the distance.
"I was gonna sleep with him, you know."
"You couldn't sleep with him if you tried."
"Course I could. Have you seen this?!" Amy turned back around and motioned at her body. Lauren looked but rolled her eyes. Amy had obviously been crying and drinking and sweating for hours.
"No idiot, it's not your body that would stop you, it's your brain!" She pushed Amy down in the seat and continued to drive. "Sit still, I don't want to crash." Lauren said.
"Karma would HATE ME." Amy was still thinking about it.
"Karma could never hate you. She's a bitch but she's your bitch."
"Oh, yeah, I WISH she was my bitch." Amy smiled, her brain taking her to many naughty places. "Can you imagine?" She asked, dreamily.
"Do you really not care that we're sisters now? Has that no effect on you? Don't you just think it's great?" Lauren asked, beaming.
"Well, it's fine I guess, no offense." For the longest time family had always been secondary to Karma. Karma was usually better family than Amy's own mother.
"I always thought you were secretly happy about it just like me."
"I- I dunno why you would think that. You've always been mean to me Lauren."
"I really haven't." Lauren defended.
"Yes you have. You tried to make me look bad, you always did. You stole my room!" Amy remembered suddenly.
"I didn't do things to make you look bad. You did that all on your own." Lauren explained. "Also, not telling your mom about the gay? How could you not see that as helpful? I DID THAT TWICE!" She reminded.
"WHAT ABOUT MY ROOM?!" Amy complained.
"I knew you'd think I was weird if I just did it to BE NICE!" Lauren fought.
"Oh the CROW-CUM-BUSH or whatever?!" Amy slurred. "That was all a plan to look better than me, don't think I don't know you cause I do." Amy shook her head and pointed at Lauren as if to shame her.
"Hey!" Lauren yelled. "Hey! Listen, I did that for Mom."
"Now you're calling her Mom."
"She's Mom now to me and you're sissy and Bruce is your Dad."
"Bruce will never be my dad."
"Why Amy, that's pretty shitty." Lauren said truthfully. It did occur to her that she was speaking to a very drunk Amy but Lauren was sure that most of what Amy was saying was true.
"No, not 'cause I don't love him. It's not that. It's just different."
"Yeah well, I love our parents and I love you, even if you are a broken drunk idiot."
"It's different for you, you didn't know your mom." Amy got sad.
"Amy, this is the best day of my life."
"Are you kidding?"
"I'm really not."
"Okay, run me through it." Amy twirled her hands in the air. She was possibly too drunk to understand but seeing as this was the worst night of her life, it might help to think that someone else could find it their favorite.
"For once I have a real family. A normal family."
"There's nothing normal about our family."
"Amy, I have a sister whom I will love." She took Amy's hand and squeezed it a little too hard.
"OWWW!" Amy yelled.
"I have a mother who's beautiful and perfect and everything I want to be when I grow up." Lauren continued.
"Aww, that's actually really sweet…" Amy never thought of it that way.
"My Dad is finally happy! My shitty boyfriend is out of my life! God, Amy the night was so beautiful."
"I guess I just didn't get to experience it what with all the crying going on and all my dreams crashing down on me."
"Oh yeah, well, that was shit. Karma really fucked you up."
"She did, yeah. I - This is gonna sound stupid," Amy said, shaking her head. "But, I actually thought that there was no way in hell she couldn't love me. I mean, I know her, I know Karma better than anyone in this world. Better than my Mom and you and Shane and…"
"Yup, right, I get it, you don't know many people, keep going, what were you saying?" Lauren joked.
"Yeah, but, don't you see? That's what I mean. Isn't that strange? I don't think I could've had these feelings if she wasn't feeling them too. I don't even think that would've been possible." She seemed so let down. Even Lauren felt that strong.
"You may be right." Lauren agreed. Karma and Amy had always seemed more together than they had to be and everything about the whole Liam set-up seemed more about status and less about Liam as an actually breathing person. "I've never had a friendship like that." Lauren admitted.
"Not ever?" Amy asked.
"Nope. Not once."
"Well good riddance. Look at all this pain!" Amy said dramatically, holding her hands up so that Lauren could look at what friendship like that can cause and how thoroughly it can break you apart and turn you into a raving lunatic who throws glasses at the ground.
"You make a good argument but I'd still want that more than anything. The only thing I've ever wanted more than that is a Mom."
"But you just got out of that relationship and you don't look like me. You don't look like you've been dragged through the mud and trampled on and used and abused and taken for granted and hung out to dry and-"
"Yeah, I know. We're different though, I think. Breaking up with Tomy makes me happy. I'm better than him and I know it. See, you're better than Karma and you don't even care. That's your big flaw."
"I have many flaws!" Amy grumbled. "And I am not better than Karma. Hey I thought about sleeping with Liam, I could've done it."
"Karma would sleep with Liam to get back at you but you could never sleep with Liam to get back at Karma. Amy, you're too good. It's your whole thing. It's why I didn't want to be friends with you. You're just a soft pathetic little human and you don't protect yourself, you just let people stab you."
"Hey!" Amy said, holding a hand to her chest. "And HEY! How long has this car been moving?!" She just realized.
"A while, Amy. We've been moving for a while."
"God!" Amy yelled, clinging to her seat belt and pulling it across her to buckle. "You could've told me! I could've died!"
"You're fine."
"Yeah but still…"
"Are you gonna be like this the whole way there?"
"Maybe…" Amy grumbled.
PART II
The girls continued to have their banter. Lauren enjoyed it all a lot more now that she knew they were sisters. She had always seen Amy as a very interesting person. A rebel of sorts and a "Fuck if I care," personality. It was refreshing to be related to that. It was so different than everything she herself was.
They pulled through the iron gates of Black Willow Cemetery, Lauren's headlights shining bright on the grassy hill filled with tombstones.
"Whoa? Where are we?"
"I told you, we have a date."
"You're not gonna like, bury me or anything, are you? Cause that's not even funny. I'm drunk as hell and my muscles are small and the only person who would even try to save me probably hates me right now so-"
"Calm down crazy, I'm not going to bury you."
"Phew, good. You had me scared for a second." Amy sighed.
Her cellphone was going off, she looked down and saw that it was Karma.
"Shit, Karma's calling me."
"So what? Just let her stew."
"Yeah, you're probably right…" Amy thought painfully, knowing that she was too weak to deal with anything more that could be said.
Lauren pulled the car down a seemingly random one-lane road that ran between two different grass spots with multiple tombstones sticking up on either side. When she parked Amy got out without thinking. All her fear was already gone.
"You really are drunk." Lauren laughed, getting out. "Come on crazy," she pulled Amy's hand and walked her through the tombstones. They walked up a large hill and Amy panted all the way to the top with Lauren dragging her.
"I hate bootcamp! Is this going to be one of those bootcamps?" Amy whined, her bare feet cold and wet on the grass.
"This, is a graveyard. And we, are just walking. If you think this is a boot camp you probably need a boot camp."
"Lauren, it's cold."
"Shhhhhhhhh. Look." Lauren said, pointing down to a grave.
"Oh my god…" Amy said, reading the name across the stone. "This… this is.." Amy sat down indian style.
"My mom." Lauren said. As soon as Amy sat down she sat down right next to her and in a place she had often sat.
"You.. Lauren.. Uck.. God this is so sad." Amy put her face in her hands and started to cry.
"I know…" Lauren said, holding her sister with an arm around her shoulders and just letting her sob.
"I'm so dumb, I've been whining about Karma and you've been taking me here. I've been a jerk to you. Fuck, Lauren, I'm so sorry." Amy cried.
"Don't worry, I don't care." Lauren said soothingly in that motherly voice. "We all have our pain and this one is mine."
"Is this why you brought me? Are you trying to make me feel better? Like, haha at least Karma isn't dead?" Amy was confused.
"No! Idiot." Lauren hugged her sideways with both of her arms and Amy held onto Lauren's arm as she stared at that long name on the stone, that name that could easily be someone she loved. "This is about us. We're family now and this how I wanted to start things."
"By ending a wedding with a morbid twist?" Amy was still confused.
"I've been coming here for years to visit my Mom." Lauren remembered. "While you've been with Farrah and I've been with Bruce, I've always come here to talk to my mom cause she's my very best friend and I tell her everything."
"Should I say something now." Amy thought out loud. The graveyard was very quiet and when Lauren stopped talking it spooked Amy good.
"You don't have to say anything, I just wanted you to see."
"Hi Mrs Lauren's Mom." Amy said meekly.
"See, that's all." Lauren said. "You're my family now so this is a part of you."
"And I'm a part of you." Amy realized.
"Right." Lauren said, holding her and resting her head on Amy's shoulder. The sounds of the graveyard didn't scare Amy much after that. And her mind was on something else for once and she wished she had known Lauren, really known her before the wedding. It was wrong to push her away.
"Lauren…" Amy spoke after a very long time of thinking in peace.
"Hmmm?" Lauren asked dazedly, feeling the comfort of Amy's shoulder and her sister's body under her arms.
"I, I think I like being your sister." Amy decided, tears falling from her eyes.
"I know," Lauren said. "I like you too, dummy."
It was all too easy to get along.
They sat in the graveyard a very long time. Lauren told Amy all about her life with just her Bruce and Amy told Lauren all about her life with just Farrah. It was a night they would both remember for as long as they lived.
All it took was one wedding and they were sisters, they really were.
THE END