The new metaphor
Fandom: The fault in our stars
Characters: Augustus Waters
POV: Augustus Waters
Based upon: Tumblr post
Rated: T
Genre: Angst
I looked away as they lowered her cofin into the ground, I couldn't watch. I just couldn't. My Hazel was dead, lost the final battle against cancer. We both new that this would come, but we both pretended it didn't. The time from pretending was over now. She was gone. There where so many things I wanted to say to her, so many things I havn't told her. Did she know I loved her more then anything? That I would've done anything to cure her? That I would do anything to have her back? They keep telling me that she is in a better place now, that she is no longer in pain. That was all I could wish for, right? For her to be somewhere better. Better then this world she lived in, the world she was too good for. The world we lived in together. I wondered if her heart was acking for me just as bad as mine was for her. But I doubted it, because the pain I felt was so intense that I didn't think anyone could ever feel worse.
I walked off, away from the grave yard where they where barrying her. I couldn't do it, I couldn't watch her parents cry. Her family cry. I felt like my heart was splattering into a million pieces, like glass breaking. But the pain went through my whole body. Something was missing, she was missing. She was the part of me I never thought I would have and never could replace. Missing her was like... like... I couldn't even bring up a metaphor. Except one. The one I told her the first day we met. I remember how her beauty struck me, how the light in her eyes had shone so bright despite the cancer. Despite the pain. And I got to know her, the real her and I couldn't be more thankful for that. With shaking hands I took out the cigarettes from my pocket, taking one out and put it between my lips. I felt like I should be crying, but there where no tears left. I took out a small lighter that I always carried around, but never used. I looked up at the sky, at Hazel. I never believed in a heaven, but if there was one. She would be there. "It's a metaphor, you see" I told her. "Because I don't want to live without you". And then, for the first time, I light the cigarette