Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Arithmancy Assignment #2 / Prompt : Write about a secret.
Pick A Card, Any Card Challenge / Prompt : Three of Clubs - Write about Sirius Black.
Sirius is completely bummed out. What's a party without booze? It's like a pie without an apple. Toothpaste without a toothbrush. A Wand without a wizard. Hogwarts without Dumbledore. He could list more things but he didn't want to become poetic. He sat on the stairs leading to the Boys' Dormitory overlooking the whole Gryffindor Common Room with a cup of water in hand. Everyone seemed to be having fun except him. Lily and James were finally talking and laughing, Peter seemed to be enjoying stuffing his mouth with food and Remus.. Remus seemed to be engrossed in a conversation. With a girl. He scowled at the pair, nearly crushing his cup.
He didn't like the feeling. It made him feel so.. envious. It happened to him numerous times and every time he wished he was the one. It hurt, and Sirius Black wasn't one to get hurt.
He just wished that he was free to express. Express what has been bugging his mind for many weeks already. It filled him up little by little and it terrified him. He wasn't supposed to feel that way, after all. He was supposed to be a cassanova, chasing girls and chased by girls. The problem was, the one person he actually liked wasn't a girl. It was Remus Lupin, his best mate.
He got off from his spot on the stairs and went out to the empty Halls, hands in his pockets and walked towards the Astronomy Tower. The tower was one place that he could actually think and be alone. He felt serene and peaceful there. He looked up the starry sky and thought of a deep metaphor. Sirius was named after the dog star and Remus was a werewolf, symbolized by a moon. He chuckled at the accuracy- the stars look like they're close to the moon but in reality, they're far apart.
He felt a light tap on his shoulder and turned to face the person. Remus. "Why are you here?" he asked in a flurry of emotions. Was he worried seeing him stalk off? It slightly annoyed him that he didn't get the space he craved for that night.. But still, it was Remus who came after him.
"Just thought you needed my company." Remus shrugged, leaning on the railing beside him.
"And what made you think that?"
"You were alone and bummed out at the party, which is always not a good thing." Remus gave him a lopsided smile which made Sirius' heart beat faster than normal.
Sirius sighed. "You should get back and rest up. The full moon is nearing." he pointed towards the moonlit sky.
"I'll be fine." he waved him off. Sirius mentally rejoiced to be in his company for the night. He liked just talking to him about anything and everything. He was very easy to talk to and he enjoyed his company.
"You really need your rest, Moony." Sirius halfheartedly reminded.
"Why have you been so off lately?" Remus suddenly blurted out, looking at him with an annoyed expression. It had been filling him up lately.
The statement shocked Sirius. "Wh-What do you mean?"
"Well, you haven't been talking to me lately, barely even sparing me a glance. What's up?" Remus confronted him. It pissed him off, seeing the boy far away from him when he needed his best mate the most.
"I-I.." stuttered Sirius. "I don't know what you're talking ab-about.."
"You DON'T?!" Remus raised his voice, slightly pulling on his hair. "It's like we aren't friends anymore!"
Sirius hated seeing Remus get frustrated. He looked miserable and hot at the same time. He wasn't always one to explode but since it was nearing the full moon, his hormones acted up. "Of course we're still friends, Remus, I just.." he stopped, thinking about what to say next.
"Just what?" Remus said through his teeth.
"I just don't want to feel jealous anymore! I absolutely hate it. I hate seeing you flirting with other girls! It may come as a surprise to all, but I'm gay. I'm gay because of you, Remus. I can't be gay yet I am. I am gay." he repeated, clutching the railings in front of them hard.
To say Remus was flabbergasted was an understatement. Sirius loaded information onto him by buckets and he couldn't really digest them all. Sirius was gay. He became gay because of him/ He was jealous of all the flirting.
Sirius was livid to the long stretch of silence. Did he not have anything to say to him? Something was better than nothing at all, even if it was to be rejected by him. He just wanted to free himself of the burden of carrying a huge secret around. He sighed frustratingly, tugging on his hair and pushed himself off from leaning on the railings. "I'll just go. I don't think I can-" He was cut off as he started to walk down the stairs by Remus' hands wrapping around his waist from behind him. He fit perfectly to his body and it felt right. Righter than anything else in the world. It was as if he was made to be with him.
"No, don't go." Remus said in a soft voice.
It was all Sirius needed to stay in his loving arms under the light of a thousand stars.
[A/N] Quick reference to Ed Sheeran's Thinking Out Loud!