Author's Note: Welcome one and all to my new story, The Match Test. This is rated M for language, Nat's dirty mouth, and smut. I'm going to do a disclaimer here and say I don't own EEnE or Nat. I only own the twins, Latvia and Austria, and any other additional characters I throw in. P.S. There is a plethora of French in this chapter. Translations are at the bottom. And forgive me if I make any mistakes. My French isn't perfect.

Chapter 1 (Kevin POV)
It was a regular day at Peach Creek High School. I, Kevin Barr, was sitting in French bored out of my mind. There was a new teacher, and let me tell you, he was not very interesting. I ran a hand through my red hair, trying not to fall asleep at the desk. I jumped when my forehead hit the desk, green eyes wide as I looked around. I must've dozed for a second there. What's on the board? "Mon nom est Monsieur De La Salle. Ecrire un paragraphe sur vous-meme en francais et en remettre a moi. C'est un plaisir de vous rencontrer tous et je suis impatient de vous enseigner." The hell?

I leaned forward to tap the girl in front of me on the shoulder. The raven-haired girl turned. "Yeah?"

"Vivian," I remembered her name, "What's that say?"

"'My name is Mr. De La Salle. Write a paragraph about yourself in French and hand it in to me. It's a pleasure to meet all of you and I look forward to teaching you.'"

"Thanks."

I dug out a piece of paper, and began to write. Mon nom est Kevin Barr. Uh... Well shit. I glanced over at Eddward Vincent on my left. He'd practically written half a page. My shoulders slumped, a huff escaping my mouth. He was a serious asshole, but he was smart as fuck. Time to swallow my pride.

"Edd?" I whispered.

Those clear blue eyes connected with mine, flashing that built in sneer. "Je peux vous aider Kevin*?"

I glared. "I'm not good in this class. English please."

Edd rolled his eyes. "What do you need help with, vous mecreant insipide**?"

"I don't know how to write this. Will you help me out, man?"

"Kevin, you've been in this class for a semester now and you've retained nothing?"

"Can you cut out the judgmental shit for a minute? I just need some help."

"Fine, if you aren't going to leave me alone I may as well. Scoot your desk over."

I moved my desk next to Edd's, and the commotion made Mr. De La Salle look up from the paper he was reading, pushing his glasses up to see.

"Pardonnez-moi, vous deux," he addressed us. "Que pensez-vous que vous faites?" ***

I didn't know what to say to that. Hell, I didn't even know what he said. I bet Edd did. One glance at the boy's angry face said he definitely did, and it had automatically pissed him off.

"J'aide un de vos etudiants monsiuer," Edd said, leaning back in his chair. "qui est votre, je presume." ****

I cocked an eyebrow at the sockhead. How was he so damn fluent in French? Edd had always been a genius. He'd been the smartest guy I'd ever known, and the sweetest. Until he snapped. No one knew what happened to him. Not even Ed and Eddy, whom he'd stopped being friends with. He'd stopped having friends altogether. He turned into a total dick, joined the swim team, and turned into the only guy in school who can actually match me. Goodbye Double D, hello Double Dickweed.

The defenseless teacher gaped. "Je vous demande pardon*****."

Edd wasn't done. He'd only begun. "Peut-etre que je devrais enseigner cette classe. Je suis loin superieur a vous et serait sans doute un bien meilleur professeur que van aurez jamais l'etre." ******

Mr. De La Salle scoffed. "My God. You are the most snarky, ill-mannered, arrogant thing I have ever laid my eyes on!"

Edd smirked. "Il prend un pour connaitre un." *******

"Leave my class, vous bete sauvage!" ********

Edd smirked, and walked right out, throwing the finger as he left. Everyone stared after him, stunned, not because of the exchange but because Edd was so fluent in the language that he could win an argument with a French teacher.

I pulled out my notes, scooting my desk back over as I tried to write something. I wonder what happened to Edd to make him such a dick. The old Double D would never be so rude. Maybe he hit menopause or something. I laughed out loud at the thought.

"Mr. Barr, is something funny?" Mr. De La Salle asked, trying to get ahold of his authority.

I shook my head. "No, sir, I-"

"Since you seem too busy with your internal banter to work, why don't you take Mr. Vincent's belongings to him. The demonic cretin seems to have left them."

I glanced at the desk, seeing his backpack still strung across the back of it. I muttered an "ok" and grabbed it, sling it over my shoulder and heading to the office. I wonder what he has in here. Voodoo dolls? Midol? He definitely needs some. I snickered.

"Something funny, Kevin?"

I spotted Edd on the chair outside the office, and threw his backpack into his lap.

"Oh nothing," I said, leaning on the wall beside him. "Edd can I ask you something?"

"No," the asshole responded.

I ignored him. "What the hell happened to you? What made you snap?"

"Maybe I was tired of being meek." He stood, and faced me. "Maybe I was tired of being everyone's doormat." He grabbed my shirt and got in my personal space. It was hard not to notice that Edd smelled like peppermint and Axe. It was kind of hot. "Maybe I was tired of morons like you bullying me relentlessly every day of my life! Think of this as pushing back. No one's ever going to push me around again. They're too afraid to."

Edd's eyes bured like cold flame, and I challenged them head on, not once breaking eye contact. "We should meet like this more often."

"Excuse me?" the devil said, faltering.

"You pushing me into the wall. I dig it."

He sneered. "I haven't the time for your homosexual advances."

"Yeah whatever." And here comes the only phrase in French I retained. "Appelez-moi." *********

"In your dreams," Edd muttered as he fell back into the chair.

I smirked, having won, and left the office, going back to class. I had to admit, Edd was a complete ice-blooded monster, but he was hot. I'd had a crush on this new Edd since freshman year when he snapped. Call me a masochist, but I love a sadistic asshole. Especially when they play hard to get.

Translations: *Can I help you, Kevin?
**You insipid miscreant.
***Pardon me, you two. What do you think you're doing?
****I am helping one of your students, sir, which is your job I presume.
*****I beg your pardon.
******Maybe I should be teaching this class. I am far superior to you and would no doubt be a far better teacher than you will ever be.
*******It takes one to know one.
********You savage beast.
*********Call me.