title: crawling back to you
summary: Have you no idea that you're in deep? I dreamt about you nearly every night this week. How many secrets can you keep? [Kagami x Riko]
notes: This story was inspired by the song Do I Wanna Know by Artic Monkeys. Special thanks to my tumblr friend moehshi-fandom!
disclaimer: KnB is not mine nor will it ever be
Taiga tells her, softly, gently, "Don't leave." He sits up and rubs the heaviness in his eyes. She stands a foot from the bed looking at him with distant brown eyes and it makes him uneasy. Unconsciously, he pulls the blanket closer to his naked body, trying to cover up something she has seen countless other times. She's already half-dressed, and her bra is dangling from her right hand.
Faintly, he remembers the way he easily disposed of that piece of garment last night, how he expertly covered her breasts with his mouth and his hands. Funny, no matter how enthusiastically cooperative she was every time they had sex, the morning after she always looks like she doesn't want to remember it.
"You know I can't stay," she says finally, and there's a sigh attached to her voice that frustrates him to no end.
"Why can't you just stay, for once?" he asks and it's desperate. He inwardly flinches at how it almost sounds like a whine. From the corner of his eyes he sees the tree outside the window sway lightly in command of the wind. He shivers, although the window is tightly closed and the only air in the room is still and thick with uncomfortable tension.
"Tetsu's waiting for me," she says, turning her back on him. She lifts her hand and puts her bra back in place swiftly.
"He waited three days already," Taiga debates, "He can wait more."
This time Riko really sighs. "I told him I'll be back today. I can't keep making him wait," she finishes with a voice barely above a whisper.
"Why? Are you afraid he'll get tired?" he growls and he tells himself it's not bitterness coating his words but sarcasm. Rarely does he find lying to himself helpful.
Riko picks up her shirt near the door and puts it on. She still isn't looking at him. "You know that's impossible," she says and he notices a feeble note of uncertainty in the way she speaks.
He feels a little bigger then. In the back of his mind, he's glad that she's starting to doubt Kuroko's loyalty to her. But then again, he's Kuroko's friend too. Taiga knows just how far Kuroko will go for Riko, just how much he can put up with. Maybe he imagined that doubt after all.
Riko vanishes inside the bathroom. The door closes with a sound that he has memorized. It sounds different than the door to my room and the apartment.
He clicks his tongue and stands up to get dressed, too. He's not about to walk her to the door, of course. She hates it when he does that. He asked her why weeks ago, excited because maybe the reason why was she didn't want to hesitate as she stepped out. But then she replied, I don't like feeling your eyes on my back. It's creepy.
"Creepy," Taiga snorts as he pulls on some boxers, "That's not what you said last night."
He goes out of his room shirtless and finds his polo carelessly thrown at the couch. He feels a twinge of pleasure as he puts the shirt back on, recalling the sound of her laughter as they stumbled through the darkness of his living room, refusing to let go of each other. He remembers the decisive movements of her small hands as they roam over his chest, over his abdomen; want surging through him like lightning.
He falls back on the couch, throwing all his weight down. He covers his face with his palms. "Fuck," he hisses. He can even smell her on his hands.
"Kuroko, you lucky bastard," he says through his skin, "You get to have her every day." He doesn't pretend that he isn't jealous this time; there's a certain pleasure in saying true things to yourself. When there's someone else involved in the conversation, that's where it gets complicated.
What Riko would give to never hear something like that from me.
He imagines Riko walking away from his apartment, a skip to her steps as she nears Kuroko's house. It doesn't take a genius to see how excited Kuroko makes her. It's like without Kuroko she's an unlit bulb.
But how she lights up when it's dark and my tongue's down―
He hears her step out of his room. He removes his hands from his face and stares at her as she picks up her things from the floor. Her bag, her shoes, her coat.
He watches as she brings her cell phone close to her face. She smiles, her eyes moving as if reading. He ignores how the tilt of her lips is infinitely different whenever Kuroko's involved; he's losing her now. He doesn't need to lose his appetite.
"What did he say?" he asks sardonically, he doesn't mean it to sound too harsh but it does.
Her eyes flash dangerously and she flips her phone shut. Riko's head turns to him sharply, frowning. For a moment he thinks she's going to snap at him but she remains looking at him in silent disapproval.
He sits up straighter, suddenly feeling defensive. How dare you be angry at me, he wants to shout, but doesn't find the courage to. He's scared she'll take it too personally and leave their secret life once and for all. He tells himself he's just thinking about losing one of the greatest fucks in his life. Again, it doesn't help, lying through his teeth.
Especially when, not five minutes ago, he was so close to begging for her not to leave. He knows when he asked her to stay that he didn't want to fool around again. What he wants is to hold her close, hold her until the world withers away outside his window, until Kuroko gets tired and stops straining his ears for her arrival.
But of course, it doesn't happen. It never does. Kuroko is a loyal bastard like that (he doesn't know, of course but still). The heat they exchange in his bed never leaves it. When she moves away from his arms (always before he wakes up) everything goes cold; even her words. It's a cycle of white hot desire to a few hours of sleepy warmth to the frigid click of the door as she closes it.
His life has been reduced to that painstaking routine―wanting more and not getting it.
He observes with trained indifference as she makes her way out the door. She doesn't look back and he doesn't ask when she's coming back. She always does and he counts the hours until that door opens again for her warmth to come in.
xxx
"Oi, Kagami, you look like you're ready to rip someone's head off," Aomine comments nonchalantly, "Don't tell me," he says when Taiga looks up at him with a glare, "Is it about Tetsu's girl?"
Taiga's eyes widen in shock but it's only for a half second. He schools his face to portray a cool apathy. "Why would you even think that it's about anyone?" he says, deceptively calm but he clenches his hands into tight fists until his knuckles turn white.
"Anyway, she's not his property," he adds in a violent afterthought. Aomine lifts an eyebrow delicately. "Oh? I heard they're getting pretty serious."
"Yeah, so?" Taiga turns away from Aomine and stares out of the window instead. He stomps on the thought of dwelling on what Aomine meant by serious. Although he doesn't have a monopoly on Riko's time, rarely does she wait two whole weeks to visit again.
Since that last night they spent together, she hasn't called him. He decides that summer sucks; there's no after-school training and no afterhours sex. He previously thought that their last time was only the first of many nights.
Apparently, he was wrong. Riko's probably spending every free time with her boyfriend. That word makes him retch mentally. Not that he thinks Kuroko's riding her or something; somehow he knows that they're relationship isn't that serious.
"It's just a stupid high school crush. It'll wear out."
"You don't sound convinced," Aomine counters. Taiga's lips twitches. Aomine shrugs at him and lifts his milkshake to his mouth but stops halfway. "Wait," he says, almost smiling, almost sneering, "when you said that it's just a crush, which is it you're talking about? Yours or Tetsu's?"
Taiga slams his fist on the table and the sound sends a tremor through the noisy restaurant. The people closest to them look up from their burgers curiously. Taiga ignores them completely, his face burns, and he knows it's not from the other patrons' looks.
"What are you talking about?" he hisses hotly, trying in vain to keep calm. It's not working very well.
Aomine just looks back at him coolly. "What, you don't think I notice? You stare at them with a kicked puppy expression on your face but your eyes just looks plain… mad."
Taiga opens his mouth to protest but Aomine raises his milkshake again to stop him. "Don't worry, I don't think Tetsu thinks it's anything that can harm their relationship. He thinks it's just a stupid high school crush." Aomine smirks derisively, aware that Taiga feels like he has just been punched in the stomach.
"What?" he can't keep the disbelief from his voice. He can't even find the energy to deny it. "You think he knows?"
Aomine's smirk grows and Taiga has the urge to wipe it off with his fist. "I'm sure you know this already―but I like the way you squirm. Tetsu's good at reading people. Me? I can say my skills in the observation arts is only above average. Put two and two together. If I can see through your pathetic excuse of a façade, Tetsu most certainly can too."
"Don't believe me?" Aomine presses when Taiga refuses to speak. "Ask him for yourself. Oi, Tetsu, over here!"
Taiga jerks out of his stupor, and he almost falls off his chair. His eyes look around wildly until they spot Kuroko by the counter with a paper cup in his left hand and Riko's hand in his right.
Kuroko tugs on Riko and he leads her to Taiga and Aomine's table. Taiga's heart drops to the pit of his stomach, and there's a bitter lump constricting his throat. He moves to stand up but Aomine kicks him under the table. Taiga glowers at him, but sits back down without a sound. Aomine is smirking again and Taiga imagines pummeling him for the sake of it.
When they get closer, Taiga fights the urge to make eye contact with Riko but fails eventually, because he feels her eyes boring into his face. He looks up and stifles a strangled sound in the back of his throat. She's raising an eyebrow at him, her eyes mildly puzzled. But that isn't what has got him so worked up. It's her nose, tomato red, her eyes watery. He tilts his head to ask a silent question but she suddenly breaks the contact and turns to Aomine instead.
"Hey, She-Coach, you look under the weather today," Aomine greets airily, standing up to sit beside Taiga. Taiga almost shoves Aomine away from him as he sits on his left, effectively trapping him against the window with no chance of escape.
"Her name is Riko," Kuroko lightly admonishes, stepping aside to let his girlfriend into the booth. He follows and grabs her hand. "And she has a cold today," he says.
Riko sticks her tongue at him, and there's a new twinkle in her eyes; maybe it's because she's sick. She leans sideways into him, placing her head on his shoulder. Taiga wants to throw up; she inhales and closes her eyes, her lips tilting upward serenely. Kuroko looks down at her, silently, lovingly. Taiga has never seen two people so in love with each other and it makes him want to poke his eyes out with a toothpick.
"What are you two doing here?" Kuroko suddenly asks, his voice lilting with interest. That's one of the many ways she changed him. The pre-relationship Kuroko spoke with the most irritating monotonous voice ever. But when he and Riko started going out, he changed. He began to speak louder, to converse more enthusiastically. His face has also learned a lot of different expressions.
Hyuuga put it as she made him feel things beyond basketball.
Taiga doesn't doubt that. After all, she changed him too. He never thought he would ever experience such an intense desire outside of the basketball court. But whenever they're together, in their little secret tryst, he allows himself to be overwhelmed by the proximity of her, by the feel of her touch. He always thought that how people described romance in books or in movies seemed tacky. Now, he regrets that there is some truth in those damn things.
"Just hanging out," Aomine replies, "We're going to watch a movie later with Momoi and the others. Do you guys want to come?"
Please say no, please say no, he chants mentally, but as his eyes skim over Riko's peaceful face, he thinks the awkwardness that comes with Kuroko will be worth being with her for a few hours. Maybe he can ask her why she hasn't called him when he gets the chance to be with her alone.
"I'm sorry, Aomine-kun, but we can't. I need to take care of Riko," Kuroko replies, sending all Taiga's hope down the drain. "She's great in taking care of others but really clumsy when it comes to herself," Kuroko says amusedly.
"That's… nice," Aomine says slowly, giving Taiga a sidelong glance. "I can't keep you guys long then. I wanted you to come over here because Kagami here wants to ask you a question."
Taiga stiffens and his eyes shoot from Riko's sleeping face to Aomine's smirking one. "'Excuse me?" he asks disbelievingly, and he feels a fire creeping up his neck to his face.
"You asked me a question, and I said that I don't know the answer. I told you Tetsu does and he's here, so," Aomine shrugs flippantly, eyes flashing with bemusement.
"What is it, Kagami-kun?" Kuroko asks innocently, and for a long moment Taiga holds the other boy's gaze. He looks for any sign that he knows but sees nothing.
"Nothing," he says feebly, "It's nothing. I actually forgot about it already."
"Yeah?" Aomine says, and a stab of fear crashes into Taiga's chest. "That's fine because I remember."
"No, you don't," Taiga says firmly, threateningly.
"Yes, I do."
"No, you don't."
"Guys," a hoarse voice suddenly says, and it's Riko, rubbing her teary eyes. Taiga feels relief wash over him; he almost kisses her right then and there. She straightens and looks between the two boys curiously. "What are you arguing about?"
"Nothing, apparently," Kuroko tells her lightly. "Don't you want to drink your hot choco?" he asks, sliding the paper cup he has been holding to her. "It'll make you feel better."
Riko takes a sip obediently, a smile blooming on her lips. Then, she turns to Kuroko with that smile and says in a sweet whisper, "You make me feel better."
Kuroko's cheeks redden and his eyes grow big, but his lips spread into the happiest smile Taiga has ever seen him make. "You don't know how much that means to me," Kuroko says softly, as if afraid to wake up someone sleeping.
Slowly, infuriatingly, their heads start to move toward each other. Taiga watches with wide eyes before feeling a surge of realization hit him like a wave. Before contact is even made, Taiga abruptly stands up. Kuroko and Riko jump, startled. Aomine leans back and crosses his arm over his chest, a smile that suggests he's enjoying this designs his face.
Taiga feels a hot sensation making his chest stretch, making it hard to breathe. He doesn't know exactly why he's feeling such a crippling jealousy right now; it's not like he hasn't seen them kiss before. But something about not seeing her for two whole weeks that―
He doesn't spend too much time dwelling on it, because all his mind is telling him is run, run as far as you can and he does. He pushes past Aomine, pushes past the people by the door, outside the restaurant. He runs until his feet hurt more than his chest, until he reaches his apartment, until he collapses on the floor.
xxx