Possessive Bella
It's obstructive and penetrating what she did to me. What they both did. I'm not sure if I can take it much longer. I'm also pretty sure I'm past that point. Because I'm already in shambles with it all. My mind... it doesn't hold itself together anymore. I'm suffocated. But I'm still continuing to drown.
She always watches for me. Her brown eyes locked on me. Worrying and disappointed. Disappointed she knew what she had to be worrying about. But I see what it is really. How her eyes glint, when she eventually decides to come forward and do something for me I didn't want nor needed her to do. But she does it, because that's how she believes it's right. Believes that all she does is because I couldn't do it myself.
It makes me feel like I'm good for nothing, because nothing I do, I do independently anymore. Not for three years. Everything I do is assisted by her help without my request or my permission.
First we moved. She said that living outside the city would be better, because there would be less pollution. Well, that's true, but we already lived in Forks. Basically the smallest town in the state. Moving near Canada, to a remote place wouldn't make much difference in the air except for the people. There would be just me and her.
And Jacob. Bella's friend. We took him into our residency a few months back. He needed a place to stay for a couple of months, because he had his own house torn down, because it had been in such a bad condition. He said he would build another one somewhere near us, but a little closer to a town. It suited us fine after-all it was just us in a considerably big house. We had a free guest room for him.
It was fine in the starters, but it got worse from there.
Jacob and Bella, they were almost like the same exact person. Maybe that's why they are such good friends. But what Bella thought about something, Jacob thought the same, and what Jacob thought about something Bella thought the same. And I was the freak who sometimes thought differently. But in civilized manners we decided on about things with voting for example about a film we would watch or what to eat. And of course I would lose.
But I wasn't much of a selfish person so I just endured it. And it never was about something bigger things, so I guess it didn't really matter to me. Soon that turned into something else. More extravagant.
I didn't even notice it at first. She had gotten me so wrapped around her pinky finger. And basically Jacob too, because no matter what the subject was, they thought the same about it really. Even filled them for each other usually.
It was so subtle... I didn't think it would turn into something to possessive.
It was past ten pm. He wasn't in bed yet. He needs his sleep, he cannot stay up this late at night. He's probably still reading, forgetting about what I've told him about going to be early. It makes me grunt. Where's Jacob? He must be in bed already too. Better get Edward here too.
I get up from under the warm covers and stand up. The old, wooden floor creeks beneath my weight, so I move slower so I wouldn't make as much noise and didn't disturb anyone.
I stop by the bedroom door that is ajar and watch him from there. His curled in the far corner of the leather couch reading a book in the dim light from the floor lamp beside him. He's gonna ruin his eyes doing that.
The light even as so dim, illuminates the popping bones under his pale, almost white skin. Those bones are way too visible for anyone. His hip bones reveal themselves even from under the thick, black sweatpants that he uses as his pyjama pants. And with the white t-shirt hardly fits for him anymore even though I just got it for him last week, hoping it was small enough for him. It was, for that week. He's even smaller now.
You would think that muscular and large people would be intimidating, but no, he's much more intimidating to me that any bodybuilder who would be ready to kick my ass.
Edward's tall and thin. He has scrawny, long legs that he moves with grace. He always moves with grace, but all I can concentrate on is how terribly gaunt he is. His sharp, bony elbows and collarbones that could easily break whenever he scratches them, which he does when he's nervous. His perfect, but altogether too apparent cheekbones with the sunken cheeks.
Even when I look at his vibrant, emerald green eyes I get worried. He looks so sorrowful and introvert for anybodys good. Firstly I changed everything healthy in our fridge. Then I took up safe outdoorsy sports we could enjoy together. Though then I realized it wasn't going to help on his appetite more and only making him lose his already petite weight even faster.
I accustomed him to some "positive" books and other light entertainment. I wouldn't say he is any more happier now, than before. But I'll keep trying. Because I want him to be healthy and happy. I love him.
He shivers and frowns from it. I can see that he's very cold. I need to get him a blanket. Or better get him into the bed quickly. He turns the page quietly, not taking care of himself and getting something to warm him up. That's why he needs me so much. He doesn't care for himself enough. So I shall handle that part. Or everything.
He gets up from the couch and stretches his long arms as he yawns adorably. He takes his book with him as he goes to the kitchen. I get out from my hiding place, but continue to be silent and stand in the dark corners of the room.
He reaches for a glass from the shelf and fills it up with water. I hope he would have milk instead of water. His frail bones would need that calcium. So I decide to act to my wishes and go to the fridge and get some milk from there. Edward startled for a moment when he saw me come, but calmed quickly. He started reading again.
I take the milk and take the glass of water next to his book and empty the water to the sink. Then I fill it up again with milk and put it back for him. He looks at my actions warily, but doesn't really show anything else on his face. He continues to stare at the glass of milk next to the book. I begin worrying and getting frustrated too and prompt him to drink.
I loop my other arm around his middle and hug him to me. My other hand ruffles his beautiful, copper hair lovingly and I bury my nose into it and smell the tantalizing, fascinating, incredible scent of him.
Slowly he puts his hands around the glass and raises it from the counter. A bit of fear creeps into me again, when I think that maybe the glass is too cold for him to handle and his fingers get rigid. But sure enough he can deal with the coldness of a glass?
Suddenly he stops his movements and gazes in front of him, the wall where a painting of a countryside is placed. His hands begin to shake a little.
He cannot even lift a glass of milk anymore.
I lay my hand which I had tousled his hair, on top of his hands to help him raise the glass on his lips. His posture is stiff and awkward. Maybe he couldn't handle the cold. He takes a few sips and then brings the glass back down onto the counter with my help. I'm happy to help. It's my deed to be done.
After a while he starts reading again and I tousle his hair more.
She likes to be on top.
I don't mind really and I don't care. The whole act is just to show each other love in physical, but also in emotional ways. It doesn't matter how it's done if it gets the point. I love her and I want to show her that in every way I can. And so does she.
After it we are both out of breath and she lays there on top of me kissing my collarbone. I'm twiddling my finger around one of her brown locks. Her hair is so soft and silky.
When we are both rested she sits up, but doesn't put any weight on me. She has herself on her knees, my legs between them. There's still lust in her eyes, but something suspicious as well. What is she think about? It kind of makes me scared with her having that look on her face.
"I would like to try something, Edward", she begins and her hands skimmer across my chest. I have my hands on her full, curvy hips. "Anything, darlin", I say back with a husky voice. I can't deny anything really from her even if I wanted to. So I'll just make it easier for the both of us to just agree whatever she has in her mind.
Bella gets a satisfied smirk on her face and lowers herself on me and farther from my face. She sucks her first and middle finger and I get suspicious now. And then she puts her hand away from my view, and then I feel her. Inside me.
I never thought this would happen. That I would feel something like that. Her smile widens and shows her white teeth. Her face confronts mine again and she places a kiss on my stunned face. She goes deeper.
I shut my eyes and mouth so I wouldn't cry and whimper in pain. I want her to stop, but this is something she wanted to do. And she always gets her will one way or another.
She pulls her finger out, but then comes in again with two.
Please, stop...
But then something happens. Something clicks and she hits some spot. But tightened lips relax a bit and I open my eyes wide open. My hands fall from her to the sheets as I grip on them. Her free hand strokes my hand softly as the other one goes from out and in again and over again.
Somehow it began to feel good.
And when I look at Bella's face, I can see that she's also enjoying this. Even more than I do. She moans loudly as a whimper escapades my lips, when she hits the spot again. She knows now. So she starts rubbing that spot and the waves of ecstasy just keep on coming over me.
She gives me sloppy kisses all over my body, but all I can keep my thoughts on focused is that little spot in me and then I get the grand finale and come.
She breathes my name, her eyes shut and I shut my eyes too concentrating now on breathing again. I hadn't realized I had held my breath before. She pulls her fingers out of me and I sigh.
"Was it pleasurable?" she asks sounding hoarse. I can only nod to her and give a small smile.
We kiss again.
"I'm going out to get some books from the library. It will probably take about an hour", he suddenly yells down the hall. I quickly go to him before he's out the door and grab him gently by the arm.
"Hey, wait a second. Edward, why don't you just buy some online and have them deliver the books for you? It would be so much simpler and you didn't have to drive all the way to town", I suggest to him and turn him around. He's already wearing his winter jacket and boots, but I can't let him go.
He looks at me a little bewildered, but then recovers. "Oh, but I just... I mean I don't want to buy the books, when you can borrow them from the library free. And it's not that long anyway. It's been a while since I've been out", he says back and motions to go for the door.
I stop him again. With a little more demanding gesture with turning him right around to face me. I say softly: "But baby, it's very cold outside and the road will be so slippery. Just stay home, okay? We can go out some other day. You can buy a book for the tablet in the meantime."
He looks a bit disappointed, but then just shrugs. "Fine. If it bothers you that much", he says quietly. "I just worry for you", I tell him back with a apologizing smile and rub his arm. He takes his jacket and boots off and I lead him and I to the kitchen to get some lunch. Jacob is already there munching away an omelette. He gives a smile to us both and continues on to eat. "There's some left on the pan", he tells as I go for the fridge.
We get this company to deliver our groceries straight to our door. We buy food for three weeks at a time so the delivery guys don't have to drive here all the time.
Edward goes to the living room after I take my hand from his. Won't he eat?
I wash my hands first and then take some ingredients to make sandwiches from the fridge. After I'm done I call for Edward. "Ready Eddie!"
I place the sandwiches on the table near Jacob and divide the rest of the omelette and put it on my and Edward's plate. He comes back to the kitchen, a book in his hand, and sits next to me. "I'm not this hungry really", he says and stares at the plate. It's not even half full. Mine is.
"Baby, you got to eat it. There's not that much as you think there is", I tell him disapprovingly and get the milk and glasses for us. "Yeah, come on man. If you don't eat, you ain't gonna get those muscles you desperately need. If you keep this on, you will waste away someday. Shrivel up like a little leaf you are", Jacob says between mouthfuls of the omelette. "He's right. You don't look too good, Eddie", I say in a choir with Jacob.
Edward gives a scold to us. "Well, I'm not going to do something which will make me feel bad and nauseous", he mumbles and then takes a tiny bite of the sandwich. Jacob and I give each other a look. Edward's not taking care of himself again. But I can't push him more right now, he's already pretty pissed off about us worrying over him again like this. But I'll make sure he will finished it today. He won't get away with being 'picky' this time.
Edward looks disappointed, when he tries to leave his seat, but I manage to make him sit back down with only a scold. I pick up my fork and dig in to the omelette.
It's midnight. Bella's out in town still. She will be spending the night there like we agreed. She's there on the excuse of doing a night shift at the motel she owns. She usually does the paperwork here at home.
But I need some time alone tonight. With Edward.
God, I need to get this tension out of me. And because I have a such close friendship with Bella, I can't ruin it with sleeping with her. And I can't have some hooker come here either. That would be so awkward. Besides, I bet there isn't any in this town. Everyone is so intractable and contrary. And I won't fly some easy piece of meat in here either. That would be too desperate.
Bella promised to lend me Edward. She had also opened him for me too. So generous of her. But I know she did it only so it would be easier and less hurtful for him and I.
It first sounded strange and impossible. But the more I thought about it and him, it seemed good. I just needed a good fuck, that's all. He wouldn't mind helping out a friend? He wouldn't even get to know about it anyway.
Bella said Edward would surely be in deep, deep sleep by now so I could go to him. Bella had arranged that. I took a condom and some lube with me.
I got to Bella and Edward's bedroom door and listened closely. I only heard soft breathing from behind it. I opened it quietly, though he probably wouldn't wake up if I slammed it right open. He couldn't, because I was about to have sex with him, so he couldn't wake up to it.
I saw the sleeping form of Edward's lean body in the dim light, coming from the moon through the window. I walked up to him and sat on the edge of the bed. I watched at his beautiful features and then pulled the covers off of his body. I marvelled at the sheer beauty of his porcelain skin and the bones that stuck out of it. Yes, he was way too thin and bony, but at the same time it was so beautiful. The way how delicate and frail this beauty of his was.
I would need to be very careful with him, even though I wanted it ruff.
I straddled myself on top of him. I was only in my boxers, so I took them off quickly. Edward was wearing sweatpants which I took off gently with his underwear as well. He was pretty from downstairs too. I instantly got a hard on.
I reached for the condom and the lube I had put on the nightstand on the left. I started opening the condom, when I thought about 'why should I?' He couldn't get pregnant from me and I was tested too. I didn't need a condom really, whatever Bella said.
Edward's face stayed calm as a warm breeze, when I skimmed my hands across his body. I spread his legs wide open for me. His long legs were so thin that I could wrap my hand around his thigh. I licked my way up there while my hands continued to venture this divine creature. His skin was so soft and smooth like silk. I fingered him to open up a little more for me.
I couldn't wait any longer so I put some lube on my member and then lifted his jewels up, so I could push myself into him. I found his entrance and hold my breath as I gently pushed myself further. He was so tight... So good. Edward suddenly whimpered beneath me and I looked up at his face in shock. Did I wake him up?
No, his eyes were tightly closed and he was still breathing calmly. Well of course he would feel something. It was only understandable that he could enjoy from this too if I would find his spot.
I pursued on thrusting into him and finding his spot at the same time which made him moan. And that only made my lust go on fire. "Yeah, you need me, Edward. I'll come. I'll tame you and satisfy you. You'll be so good. You're so good..." I whispered in his ear. I pushed harder and further. I gripped on his hips, but also let my hands and feet wander all over his body.
He was perfect. I've never felt this good. It almost made me want to kiss me, but that wasn't part of my and Bella's deal. This was only supposed to be sex. No emotions, but lust, greed and pleasure.
I eventually came inside of him and I caressed his chest at the same time. Edward didn't, but that was okay. I was in a bliss still, when I got off of him. I wanted to go bed right after being so exhausted, but I had to dress him again. Before going, I took in his glorious looks for a memo of this night. Then I pulled the covers back on him.
After that I went to my own room and slept peacefully and completely satisfied from what I'd been needing for a long time. Thanks Bella.
I opt to go for a run by the near by forest tracks today. I put on black sweats and a t-shirt. Pull a light jacket over that and stuff my feet to a pair of running shoes. Bella's doing some work in the office and Jacob's probably watching porn in his room. Seriously I've heard enough muffled moans coming from his direction. He's so needy.
So nobody will see me going out and cannot stop me soon enough.
It's time to escape. I mean, to get some alone-time. They are always around me, patronizing me. It gets too much so often, but I just can't leave or be alone, because they just won't let me. So I must do it without anyone noticing, when no one's around.
I open and close the front-door quietly and carefully. I avoid the windows and hunch down when there's one and quickly past it. I left a note on the fridge-door, but hopefully no one will see it before I'll be too far away for them to shout me to come back. They just are concerned that I might hurt myself, nothing else. Bella doesn't want me go, also because of the reason they think I'm 'withering away in front of their eyes fast enough already'. She worries way too much. I'm completely fine. But they make me feel that there's something wrong with me, because the won't stop complaining about something I do or am.
I finally reach the track and start jogging along through the forest. There's a slight coverage of snow on top of everything. It's quite cold, but as long as I keep myself in a good and fast running pace I'll be warm enough.
Suddenly I feel terrible ache all over my body. It's this wrenching ache and pain that won't stop. It hurts most actually downstairs. What's up with that? But my whole body feel racked as well. I don't know what it is, but I wish it'll go away soon. Maybe I can just walk it off.
I'm well hidden behind the trees, but for some reason I'm scared. I don't know what or why I am, but something inside of me is nagging. I start running faster in hopes of kind of running away from that feeling too. It's not like there's many wild animals around here. Not very big ones at least like bears. God, I hope so.
But the feeling sticks with me still. Somehow I have this feeling in my gut that fears that Bella or Jacob will jump out from behind a tree, right in front of me and halt me to a abrupt stop. I would be scared shitless. I don't like that type of surprises. Then he or her would drag me back to the house and scold me for going out suddenly like that.
However it's not like they are my parents. I'm completely capable of doing things on my own or myself. Right? Then why do they hover around me like that all the time? As if I'd be almost mentally handicapped. Because I'm not.
I hunch my head down and try to just focus on the sounds coming from the wind and the birds singing. And not tripping over my feet.
I walk from the office to get some orange juice. I see the yellow post-it note on the fridge. It says that Edward has gone for a jog on the tracks. What?! He shouldn't go there now, it's dangerous with all the black ice on the ground. By the way it's only 14 degrees (-10 Celsius) out there. And he never wears enough layers of clothing when going outside. He's going to freeze. He should have told me beforehand so I could have told him to at least put more clothes on.
I decide to call him and get him back home. It's just not safe enough outside. He's going to get a cold and how clumsy he is sometimes, he will probably fly over on the ice and hit his fragile, pretty head.
He won't answer. And as I start walking in frustrated and worried movements I hear the phone ringing in the living room. I see Edward's phone on the coffee table. Great. Just great.
I stop the call and throw the phone to a wall. Hard. The device breaks into three pieces on the floor. I don't care. It doesn't matter that is broken if I cannot contact Edward with it.
Jacob comes into the living room after the loud noise and looks at me bewildered. "What's going on now?" he asks looking stupid as ever. I point at Edward's phone on the table.
"Edward's out jogging and left his damn phone home", I say too loud and angry. He frowns and glances at the phone. "Well, he'll probably be back soon. He knows how to take care of himself out there", he says like the tool he is.
"No. He doesn't. He can barely handle himself at home. How do you think he'll be able to handle himself in the forest?" I ask theoretically. "Do you want me to get him?" Jacob suggests shrugging. "We don't know where on the tracks he is anymore. He's probably too deep in there already that it wouldn't matter if you went after him. But maybe you're right. He will come back soon. Let's have a little faith in him. But if he's not back in an hour, we'll call the police", I decide and plump down onto the sofa.
Jacob flops down onto the armchair opposite to me. I let my gaze falter from the window to him and his crouched posture, when he has his brawny arms on his knees and hands intertwined with each other.
"How was it?" I choose to ask, raising my brows at him delicately. He looks up at me a bit embarrassed. "It was good. Really good", he tells me and lets out a laugh and big grin. You can see him going through last night in his mind. I smirk at him. I know my Edward's good. Even if he's unconscious.
"You did wear a condom did you?" I checked. He looked slightly taken aback. He didn't?! "Yeah. Of course", he says then, but too late. "You fucking didn't! I told you to wear one! You promised that you would!" I shouted then and stood up enraged again. Even more so now.
Jacob looked helpless under my judgement. He stuttered out: "Well... no. Bu-but I'm tested. He's the first one after being tested. I'm healthy and pure. And it's not like he could get pregnant or anything!"
"It doesn't matter. I just don't want you in my Edward! Just being there. That was the one of the conditions we had about this. That you wouldn't come inside him", I remind him and shake in anger. I glare at him and my voice drips venom.
"It's just so much better without one. I'm sorry though, Bella. I'll promise, the next time I'll wear one. I promise. I can ensure that", he says almost pleadingly.
"You can't have him anymore. He's mine. I was so stupid that I even let you touch him", I tell him. I regret letting Jacob have Edward for even one night now. Jacob could be horny as hell, I wouldn't care. He can't have my Edward ever again.
Then suddenly a broken voice abrupts our conversation. "W-what?"
I turn my head with Jacob to the living room door. Edward's there. Standing and shivering from the coldness. He has tiny bits of snow on his clothes and his always messy hair is even a bigger mass of messy bronze hair, caused by the wind. How long had he been there? From the terrified expression on his face, it seems that long enough to know where the bruises on his porcelain skin have come from.
"Edward", my voice is now much more quieter and lower than before. I'm trying to get him to stay there, so I can come closer and snatch him in my arms, before he can flee from me again.
I walk slowly closer to him. But his wide and scared eyes already tell me before he does it. He swings around, his back to us and runs quickly through the door. I run right after him. "Edward, please! Stop and listen to what I have to tell you", I scream. He's out the front-door and running down the slightly raked yard.
I push myself to the edge when I finally reach his top speed in which he could run forever, but me, only a few seconds. And that's how much I need to get my arms wrapped around him and stop him. Even if it means that we have to fall down to the ground. So I pin him down from his arms and legs. I try to catch my breath at the same time. He struggles frightened under me, but cannot wiggle free from my steel grips.
"Edward, I'm sorry. I won't let him do that to you anymore. I was wrong. It was wrong. I'm sorry. Can we just forget this and go back home?" It's not really a question though. We'll go back anyway. It doesn't matter if he doesn't want it, because I do. He'll come with me.
"No. No! No! I don't want to. What you did was horrifying and disgusting. You can't sell or give me to your friends. I'm not a hooker. I have my own will. I'm not yours either", he yells and looks scared as hell. That's good. It'll show him who's the boss in here. Me.
"Of course you're not. I'm sorry if I ever made it look like that", I tell him, even if I don't really mean it. But if I grant with what he says, maybe we can go home faster. It's so cold out here. It's probably much colder than just 14 degrees.
"Let's go home, dear. We're going to turn into icicles out here", I persuade him. He's ragged breathing starts to even out. He looks at me a little calmer too. I got him under my spell already. I get up from the ground and bringing him up as well.
"I want to be on my own for a while", he says quietly then. "Let's go inside still. It's not good to go out there wearing only that", I tell him. He looks little suspicious, but follows me when I drag him by his hand towards the house. And when we're inside and I lock the door and Jacob's there to take Edward's jacket off, even though Edward shrinks away from him, I know he'll never be leaving me.
He's with me.
I hope you enjoyed that. I was inspired by 'Fragility' by 721, if he/she happens to be the original writer for it. I kind of took a few parts from it to this story, like the glass of milk scene, I wouldn't have done it unless it hadn't fitted so nicely in. The scene is just so haunting and in a way, beautiful to some extent on the weirdness level. But I changed the parts I "copied" a lot, so it's not like this is completely a spin-off or anything like that. I just wanted to make a story where Bella would be the possessive and dominant one, other than Edward. Because I never see him like that. Anyhow, I put a lot of work into this and I hope you liked it.
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