Title: Happy Christmas, Professor Snape
Author: SevenAgainstThebes
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: JKR owns all recognizable characters, places, etc. I only get to borrow them for this writing exercise.
Summary: In response to one of the WIKTT challenges (or it's at least a close approximation of one of the challenges) – Hermione spends time with Snape during Christmas.
Author's Note: Yes, I know I haven't been updating Inverted recently. I've decided to write the whole story out first and post it gradually. However, I'll be writing small (and not so small) one-shot fics from time to time (like this one), so keep an eye out for those ^_^
* * *
At the end of her third year, Hermione Granger had turned in her Time Turner and made a promise to herself to never mess with time again.
At the moment, however, she was amending that promise: 'Do not mess with time unless it involves supremely stupid decisions like sending Snape a present for Christmas.'
"Hermione," came a whisper from her right. Ron Weasley was looking at her in abject horror. "I don't think Snape's very happy."
The Understatement of the Year.
Or quite possibly, the century.
* * *
Two weeks ago, she had thought it was a good idea.
As usual, Ron and Harry did not.
"Buy Snape a present?! What for?" had been Ron's first comment after the shock had worn off.
"I think it'd be a nice token of appreciation. I mean, he's only been teaching us for nearly seven years."
"Teaching us? Terrorizing us is more like it." Ron looked at her incredulously.
Harry spoke up. "Hermione, I know you're really smart and everything...but this," he paused, looking at her warily. "This might be the stupidest thing you've ever suggested." She glared at him.
"I reckon you've gone off the deep end," Ron patted her on the shoulder. "Are you sure you're feeling all right?"
Hermione bristled. "I'm feeling quite fine! Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with you two. It's not like I'm asking him to marry me!"
"But WHY? Why get Snape a present?" Ron shot her a suspicious look. "You're not trying to kiss up to him again are you?"
"I just think he deserves something nice to make his Christmas a little happier." she insisted. "I mean, he always seems so unhappy when this time of the year comes around."
"But that's how he always is! Seriously, Hermione, have you ever seen him smile?" Ron seemed quite adamant to talk her out of this.
"Well...he always seems happy when he's taking points from Gryffindor." Harry interjected before Hermione could speak.
Ron ignored him. "Okay, well, besides that, it's not like he's ever done anything nice for any of us."
Hermione sighed. "Maybe that's the problem, Ron. Haven't you noticed that we've been tormenting him just as long as he's tormented us? Maybe if we do something nice for him-"
"-he'll be nice to us? Ha!" Ron mocked her. "Snape'll probably take points from us for trying to bribe him or something. Really, Hermione...I thought you had more sense than this."
"Fine! Obviously I'm wasting my time trying to convince you two. I'll just go off and get him something on my own then." She abruptly spun around and stalked out of the common room.
After the portrait door closed behind her, Ron turned to Harry. "D'you think she'll put our names on the card?"
"She might..." Harry said slowly.
They both ran after her.
* * *
Ron and Harry knew how organized Hermione was before exam time. Color coded notes, studying schedules and practice exams were her modus operandi. What they didn't know, and what they would have made fun of her for, was her level of organization just for Christmas. Over the years, she had created a set of notes for each person she bought gifts for. The notes outlined gifts the person did or didn't want, what gifts she had already given them and, if everything else was out of her price range, gifts they probably would never use, but it was a nice idea anyway (a notable example of this was the organizers she had given Harry and Ron during their 5th year).
Sitting at one of the desks in the library, she took out a sheet of parchment and started writing out a list for Snape:
What to Buy for Professor Snape---Do NOT buy anything:
1. Girly
2. Sentimental
3. With Gryffindor colors on it
Gift possibilities:
1. Potions book
On the other hand, he might have enough of those. She crossed that possibility out.
2. Rare potions ingredients
But then again, if it was rare, it was most likely too expensive. She crossed that possibility out also.
3. Something with Slytherin colours
She stopped writing. Three gift possibilities and two of those crossed out. She absentmindedly chewed on the tip of her quill.
"Miss Granger."
She jumped and hurriedly covered up what she had written. Snape stood behind her, the familiar expression of disgust on his face.
"Yes, Professor?" she asked.
"Chewing on the tip of your quill, are we?" His lip curled into a sneer. "I'll have you know, Miss Granger, that an ingredient in the ink you are using has been proven to be rather poisonous—"
Hermione started to cough violently.
Snape appeared unperturbed by her reaction. "Unfortunately, however, that only happens in large doses." He looked at her appraisingly and sighed heavily. "A pity, really."
Suddenly, the ornate silver clasp on his cloak fell off. It clattered on the stone floor and Hermione reached down for it. She handed it back to him.
"It might fall off again. You'll probably want to replace this, Professor." she suggested.
Snape didn't answer her and focused instead on reattaching the clasp to his cloak. He gave her one last look before he strided out of the library. His long black cloak swirled behind him.
'Does he realize that it makes him look like a oversized bat?' she mused.
And then she got the perfect idea for a Christmas gift. She picked up her quill, dipped it in the ink well and wrote:
4. New clasp for cloak
* * *
She found the perfect one in one of her owl order catalogs. Hermione sent the money for it and the package arrived a couple of days later. The clasp had a silver serpent with emerald eyes eating its tail. An ouroburos. 'Very Slytherinish,' she thought as she covered the gift with tissue paper and placed it in a small silver gift box. 'There, that's done with.'
Her eyes fell on the box of Christmas cards on her desk. 'I don't really need to write one...and he might not even appreciate it, but..."
After a moment's deliberation, she selected a card (a relatively plain one with only a tiny glittery star on the front), sat down on her bed and thought about what to write.
Happy Christmas, Professor Snape,
I thought you might have some use for this. Thank you for everything and best wishes for a happy holiday season!
Cheers,
Hermione GrangerShort, simple and fairly non-sappy. Perfect.
* * *
On Christmas morning, Hermione woke up to a loud pounding on her door.
"Wake up, Hermione!" Ron yelled through her door. She picked up her wand to unlock the door. It was much too early to venture out of her warm bed.
Harry and Ron pushed the door open and jumped onto her bed.
"Hermione, get up already. You've got presents!" Harry picked up a package at the foot of her bed and threw it at her.
She caught it and tore off the wrapping paper. Opening the box, she found a bottle of Petite Cherie by Annick Goutal; one of her favorite perfumes. Ron looked at her anxiously.
Hermione smiled. "Thanks, Ron, it's really nice." Ever since 5th year, Ron added to her perfume collection by buying her another bottle of perfume on her birthday and Christmas. He seemed to think that since his 5th year Christmas present to her was successful, it ought to be repeated as often as possible. She highly doubted that she would ever finish using any of them but the various bottles were pretty enough.
Harry's present to her was a rosewood jewelry box with mother of pearl inlaid into the cover. The inside of the box was lined with dark red velvet and in one of the compartments was a sapphire ring.
"Wow..." she murmured.
"That's from the both of us." Ron looked pleased with her reaction.
"And me too." Ginny walked into the room, wearing a new Weasley sweater. "Mum said it's about time you started a jewelry collection."
"Aww you guys, thanks so much." Hermione hugged the three of them and tried on the ring.
"So did you really get something for Snape?" Harry asked. Ginny gave her a surprised look.
"Um...yeah..."
* * *
Ginny nudged her in the ribs. "Do you think he got the present?" she whispered. Snape sat at the staff table, a bland expression on his face as excited conversations went on around him.
"Nah, if he did, he would have come down here and taken points from Hermione for bribery." Ron joked. Harry and Ginny laughed. Hermione ignored them.
A loud hoot announced the arrival of the post owls. She spotted a grey one making its way towards Snape, whose attention was now solely focused on his bowl of porridge. The owl had a tiny package attached to its leg.
Harry pointed at it. "Is that your gift?"
The owl landed in front of Snape, who looked up in surprise. He took the package from the owl and slowly undid the knotted string that wrapped around it. The brown wrapping paper fell off to reveal a small silver colored box and a white envelope. Snape set the envelope aside and lifted up the top of the box.
He stared at the contents for a while and his eyes narrowed. He picked up the envelope and pulled out the card.
"Hermione, what did you get him?" Harry asked.
"It's just a new clasp for his cloak." she replied, watching Snape closely. He appeared to be rereading the words she had written. What confused her, however, was the fact that he seemed to be getting angrier. "I didn't write anything offensive...why is he acting so strange?"
"It's Snape." Ginny said, as if that explained everything. They stopped eating to observe Snape.
The object of their scrutiny was now glowering at them. To Hermione's dismay, Dumbledore picked up the clasp.
"Severus! How wonderful! It appears you must be on Santa's nice list this year!" Dumbledore chuckled and peeked at the writing on the card that Snape was still holding. "Or," the smile on his face grew wider. "Miss Granger must have put in a good word for you."
Everyone in the room turned to look at Hermione. From the Slytherin table she heard someone whisper loudly, "Ass kisser." People started giggling.
Dumbledore handed the clasp back to him. "Come on Severus, stand up and let's see how the clasp looks." The frown on Snape's face grew more pronounced.
"Hermione," came a whisper from her right. Ron Weasley was looking at her in abject horror. "I don't think Snape's very happy."
From behind his back, Dumbledore produced the Polaroid camera that she had sent him for Christmas. And she thought the situation could get no worse.
* * *
As everyone left the Great Hall, it seemed as if the only ones who were not amused were Hermione (who was frozen with shock) and Snape (whose face threatened to freeze permanently in the pinched look he wore throughout the ordeal). Although, Hermione thought with a smile, the moment when Dumbledore had encouraged Snape to "shake it like a Polaroid picture" (said with a wink in her direction) came perilously close to making her break out in peals of laughter.
The four of them, Ron still clutching his stomach as he laughed, passed by the giant hourglasses that held the House points.
"I suppose you four found that quite amusing."
'Bloody hell.' Hermione could recognize that low, silky voice anywhere. Ron stopped laughing. Ginny's eyes widened in fear. Harry grimaced. She turned around.
"Sir, I never intended—"
He cut her off. "Detention tonight, Miss Granger."
They gaped at him. Hermione recovered from the shock first. "But sir, it's Christmas."
"Ah. But do I look like someone who cares?"
"You can't do that!" Ron protested.
"We'll tell Professor Dumbledore!" Harry added.
Snape smiled evilly. "The Headmaster is currently on his way to his winter retreat in the Alps."
"We'll tell Professor McGonagall then!" Ginny finally spoke up.
"Fortunately, or," Snape smirked. "unfortunately in your situation, Professor McGonagall is also away visiting family during this joyous holiday season. And, as both of them are away, I happen to be in charge of Hogwarts."
'Fuck...' Hermione made one last weak plea. "Please Professor...it's Christmas and I very much want to spend it with my friends."
He looked amused. "I daresay you should have thought of that before you proceeded with that ploy to embarrass me. I expect you to be at my office by 8 tonight." He turned on his heel and made his way to the stairs that led to the dungeons.
"But Professor Snape..." she called to his retreating back. He didn't turn around.
* * *
At 8 o'clock, Hermione stood outside Snape's office, steeling herself for any type of punishment he might decide to give her. She took a couple of deep breaths and knocked on the door.
"Come in, Miss Granger." Snape called.
She turned the knob and opened the door. In the corner, Snape was stirring some dark brownish liquid in a small cauldron.
"Would you like some hot chocolate?" he asked, without turning around.
Surprised, Hermione could only manage a nervous, "Um...sure" before she sat down in the chair in front of his desk. A few seconds later, his hand appeared in front of her face, clutching a steaming mug of hot chocolate. She took the mug and warmed her hands around it. Raising it to her lips, she took a small hesitant taste, afraid she would burn her tongue.
"You're welcome, Miss Granger." He gave her a wry smile and seated himself behind his desk with his own mug of hot chocolate placed on the desktop.
"Oh! Thank you for the hot chocolate." she said quickly. 'What is going on here? Is he trying to poison me?' The liquid in the mug looked, smelled and tasted normal.
"You don't have to worry. I didn't spike the hot chocolate."
'Can he read my mind?' She glanced up at him. He was looking directly at her.
"Why aren't you drinking any of it?"
"I- I was waiting for it to cool down." Hermione stuttered. She blew on the surface of the drink and took a long swallow. "You made this for me?"
"I made it for myself," was his blunt reply. "It's my one indulgence for the holiday season." He threw the silver clasp and her card on the desk. "Explain to me, Miss Granger, the reason why you felt you had to humiliate me this morning in front of the school. I'm actually surprised that Potter and Weasley weren't in on this." He leaned forward. "Or were they?"
"No they weren't, professor. And I was telling you the truth this morning. I never meant for any of this to be an embarrassment to you. I was as shocked as yourself when Professor Dumbledore made you pose for pictures." Hermione said earnestly.
"According to your card, you stated that I might have some use for this. Explain to me why you felt the need to provide for me what I could have gotten for myself."
Hermione placed her mug on the desk. If this was going to be an interrogation, she might as well get it over with before it destroyed her enjoyment of the hot chocolate. "Well you see sir, there was that one day in the library when you stopped me from nibbling on my quill."
"You're telling me that from that one incident you spontaneously decided to buy me a Christmas gift?" He seemed to be analyzing every word that came from her mouth.
'How does he make it sound like it's something bad?' "Well sir, I kind of decided to get you something before then but I didn't know what to get you until our conversation in the library."
Snape picked up the clasp. After a moment's silence, he spoke again. "Do you know when was the last time a student has ever given me a Christmas present?"
Before she could speak, he answered his own question. "Never. Never in my entire teaching career at Hogwarts. Even those in my own House have neglected to give me anything, unless you consider sycophantic drivel as something to be valued." He placed the clasp back down and met her eyes once again. "Do you know why?"
Hermione thought quickly. 'How does one tell a professor that everyone hates him without bringing upon oneself bodily harm or loss of more House points?'
Snape's voice, low and smooth, broke into her thoughts. "Right now, I have no clue myself." He stood up and paced around the desk. "I am aware of what students, especially those not in my House, think of me. I am the greasy haired git. The bastard. The prick. The bat from Hell. The sadistic son of a bitch. No doubt you've used some of those in your own descriptions of me. So, in past years, when I received nothing on this day that so many of you brats enjoy, I didn't complain. I encouraged my students to hate me. Hate me, but never fail my class. I figured that foisting upon the world fewer brainless idiots is a gift in itself.
"Imagine my surprise then, when I received your present this morning. You can probably figure out why I appeared to be so angry. The most hated teacher in school receives a thoughtfully brought gift. It must have been a trick, I thought. A well supported theory considering that I had everyone who decided to stay at Hogwarts this winter laughing at me.
He gestured at her. "And tonight, you sit before me and for the second time, you declare that you had not intended to embarrass me whatsoever." He stopped in his pacing. "I must not be the total bastard I thought I was then, as you, and here I refer to your card, sent me this gift in appreciation of everything I've done for you. Enlighten me, Miss Granger, as to why you thought to remember me in your gift giving during this particular Christmas and tell me...what have I done for you?"
'It's just a damn card!' she wanted to yell at him. Instead, she faced him and calmly said, "Sir, your methods may be cruel," Snape gave a derisive snort at that, but Hermione kept talking. "But, I realize that you do your best in trying to instill in us the techniques and appreciation of potions making. And because of that, I respect you."
"I believe you think too highly of me." he drawled and sat on the edge of his desk facing her.
"Regardless," she persisted. "I felt that you needed something nice to start off the holiday season. Since I saw that you needed a new clasp for your cloak, I bought you one. And no, I don't expect any thank you's or for you to treat me nicer in class." She gave him a tiny grin. "Although, I'm sure everyone thought I was trying to kiss up to you. But sometimes," Hermione shrugged. "a gift is just a gift."
He merely sat there and gazed at her impassively. Hermione lifted her now cooled down mug of hot chocolate and sipped at it. They sat in silence for a few minutes; Hermione finishing her drink and Snape, his eyes fixed on something on the wall of his office.
"As this is supposed to be detention, are there any cauldrons for me to scour?" Hermione asked, setting her empty mug aside.
He shook his head. "No, that'll be all. You may go."
Hermione reached the door and was about to murmur a soft "Good night" when he called her name. She turned to face him and was almost hit in the face with a neatly wrapped package. Her quick reflexes saved her and she caught the package with a startled gasp.
To the unobservant eye, Snape's face still appeared to be as expressionless as always. But his eyes, usually void of any warmth, now seemed to regard her with something approaching kindness and the corners of his mouth lifted in an imitation of a normal smile. "Thank you, Miss Granger, and a happy Christmas to you too."
She grinned widely at him and left.
* * *
The minute she stepped into the noisy common room, she knew that she wanted to be alone. Harry, Ginny and Ron noticed her arrival and raced over to her side.
"You don't look too bad. What'd he make you do?" asked Harry.
"Did you tell him to sod off?" said Ron as he pulled her towards the four armchairs by the fireplace.
"Ron, she can't exactly do that unless she wants another detention." said Ginny, who was trying to shoo away a second year who was trying to claim one of the chairs.
"It's alright, Ginny." Hermione moved towards the staircase to the girls' dormitories. "I feel like going to bed early. I'll see you guys tomorrow."
She left them standing there with worried looks on their faces.
* * *
It was still early, but Hermione got ready for bed anyway. After locking and warding the door, she climbed onto her bed. In the privacy of her room, away from curious eyes, she could now inspect the package that Snape had thrown at her. She undid the knotted piece of twine and tore off the brown wrapping paper.
There was a long white box and an envelope. She opened the envelope and pulled out the card, which had the Slytherin crest embossed on the front.
Miss Granger,
If you open this in the company of Potter or Weasley, I will regret ever giving you this. In turn, you will regret ever doing something so foolish.
Sincerely,
Professor Severus Snape'Typical Snape,' Hermione thought as she lifted the cover off the box.
Nestled in the cotton lining was an iridescent reddish-gold quill, an inkwell and a folded up piece of parchment. She unfolded the parchment and read:
The quill is made from a phoenix feather. It is sturdier than any other type of quill so there is never a need for replacement. The inkwell is crafted out of onyx and has a permanent anti-shattering charm placed on it. It has also been enchanted to refill itself as it empties. As you have the tendency to nibble on your quill while thinking about what to write, I am told the ink is safe for accidental consumption (although I wouldn't recommend you to actually drink it).Hermione smiled and set the gifts on her night stand. Pulling the blankets up to her chest, she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.
* * *
Down in the chilly dungeons, Snape relaxed with another mug of hot chocolate. Normally, and even during Christmas, he would be prowling around the hallways, taking House points off of students who were out of bed after curfew, but tonight, he decided to stay inside.
'The Headmaster always said I needed a break.' he told himself, justifying his decision. The school term would be starting up again soon enough, as the winter holidays ended and the students came back to school and back to their potions lessons with him.
He reached into the pocket of his trousers and took out the silver clasp that Hermione had given him. The emerald eyes of the serpent seemed to glow in the flickering light of the fireplace. His mind recalled the events of the day and he smiled, a broad smile this time.
A happy Christmas, indeed.
* * * * * * * * * *
Hope you enjoyed that bit of Christmas fluff.
The line "shake it like a Polaroid picture" came from the OutKast song, "Hey Ya." I just felt like including it ^_^
Until next time,
SevenAgainstThebes