Author's Note: This fic is a submission to the Shizuru Appreciation Contest held by the Mai-Multiverse community. I was planning to make this all just one chapter, but it ended up getting a bit long for that, so I'm breaking it up. Since I have a fair amount of buffer to work with, I hope to keep to a weekly update schedule until it's complete (which should be by the contest deadline, February 14th, at the latest). Expect 3-4 chapters in total.

Warning: This fic is rated M for decidedly non-sexy reasons. I won't say more than that to avoid spoiling it, but just beware.

A Glimpse Beyond

Chapter 1: Capture

Rating: M

The curse was broken with a kiss.

At least, that was what it felt like. It should have been impossible for Natsuki to still care for Shizuru after everything she'd done. Her love was unreturned, rejected, Natsuki's friendship now twisted into hatred after learning everything that Shizuru had done. With nothing left to hope for, the only straw left for Shizuru to grasp at was that for the final moments of her life, when the HiME Star descended at last, she might be able to hold Natsuki in her arms and imagine she had what she never truly could.

It was with this goal that she'd fought to the point of nearly killing Natsuki, and yet, for some reason, Natsuki had moved within her embrace to bring her lips gently against Shizuru's own, kissing her just long enough to pull her out of her spiral of despair. But for the life of herself, Shizuru couldn't possibly explain why.

"Shizuru," Natsuki said, shifting in the embrace to allow Shizuru to rest her chin on Natsuki's shoulder. "You were the first to come to me when I was unable to believe in anyone. But, I can't have the feelings you wish I did. Even then, I'm happy that you loved me." Natsuki pulled herself back, shifting so that she could make eye contact with Shizuru, and she continued, "I love you too, Shizuru."

It was… impossible. There was no way. Even as those words warmed Shizuru's heart and caused a blush to fill her cheeks, she still had trouble believing them. It had to be a lie for her sake. But even then, that would mean that Natsuki cared enough to lie to her… which would mean it probably wasn't a lie after all.

For just a moment, Shizuru let herself believe that Natsuki meant those words romantically. She knew that couldn't possibly be the case though - Natsuki had even just said she couldn't have the feelings Shizuru wished she did - and so the moment was fleeting. Even so, it was a beautiful moment, and worth waiting a lifetime for.

"So…" Natsuki said, pulling Shizuru back to reality. A look of sadness crossed Natsuki's face, but Shizuru wasn't able to guess at what the reason might be before Natsuki turned away. Facing their two Childs, still in the heat of battle, Natsuki called out, "Duran! Load Silver Cartridge!"

Shizuru's eyes widened. She had already prepared herself to die today, but she was expecting that to be caused by the fall of the HiME star, or one of the natural disasters it caused. But if Natsuki was doing what Shizuru thought, then they would both die even sooner than that. Even facing the possible end of the world, even if they both would die soon anyway, Shizuru could never have brought herself to kill Natsuki. She'd fallen too far, and she didn't have the strength for it.

But Natsuki did. "Fire!"

The force of Duran's attack tore both Kiyohime and itself apart. Shizuru knew what was coming next - she'd caused just this to happen to Nao's mother and Haruka, after all, so it was only just that she meet the same fate herself. But it wasn't just that Natsuki had to face it as well. She deserved to live, but as long as she was Shizuru's most precious person, that wasn't a possible outcome of this cursed Carnival.

The explosion tore away at the remains of the church, sending debris shooting past the two of them and threatening to take their lives even before the price of losing their Childs could be claimed. In a final act of love, Natsuki let Shizuru bury her head in her breast. Natsuki's warmth, of both her body and love, enveloped Shizuru as the world began to fade from her. Pain began to fill her body as pieces of it were ripped away, but her mind remained focused entirely on Natsuki, keeping the pain from overwhelming her.

"I'm fulfilled," Shizuru said softly, thanking Natsuki for giving her everything she could possibly ask for in this moment.

In a flash of green light, the world was gone.

"Happy birthday, Mommy!"

Shizuru's eyes shot open just in time to prepare herself for the oncoming hug assault. She smiled and turned toward the young girl - her daughter, Ayane, her mind kindly reminded her - just in time to reach out and return the hug. "Mmm, thank you, Ayane," Shizuru said, acting mostly on autopilot as her mind raced to catch up with what was happening now.

Ayane planted a kiss on Shizuru's cheek and then pulled back from the hug. She reached her fingers up to her hair and twirled a raven-colored lock around as she looked up at Shizuru and said, as if awkwardly reciting the words she'd been coached to remember, "Mama says you can stay in bed as long as wanna, but there's a special breakfast ready for you when you get up."

"Mama?" Shizuru blinked in confusion. Natsuki. Shizuru's face split into a grin. "Thank you, Ayane," she said, reaching out to pat the girl on the head. "You can tell Mama I just need a minute, and then I'll join you and her for breakfast."

"Hehe, okay," Ayane said, smiling as if she were about to deliver a precious secret to her Mama. She got up on her toes and leaned in to plant a quick kiss on Shizuru's lips. "Love you, Mommy," she said as she pulled back. "Oh! And happy birthday!" she said again, as if she'd just remembered it.

Shizuru's grin widened just a bit. "I love you too, Ayane," she said. How could she not, when she had such an adorable daughter? "Now go and help Mama with breakfast."

"Okay!" Ayane said, turning and running off through the bedroom door. She forgot to close it behind her, but Shizuru wasn't sure if that was just an accident, or if that was a hint that Shizuru had better not take long. After all, Natsuki was certainly making sure that Ayane waited to eat until Shizuru got to the breakfast table. It didn't seem like Natsuki to care so much about good manners, but…

...but she'd changed a lot in the last decade, especially after having a daughter with Shizuru. Of course, this meant Shizuru had to be careful about mentioning too much of her wife's roguish past to their daughter until she was older, but it was a small price to pay for such a well-behaved daughter.

Shizuru smiled at the recollection. A part of her wondered though, why her mind seemed to be a step behind this morning. Why did it feel like she was just now remembering so many aspects of her life? Shizuru shook her head as she pushed herself up to a sitting position, trying to give herself a moment to clear her head. Okay, what was she doing last night?

It was a perfect day with her family, like any other.

That… seemed a bit to vague. And too good to be true. Where were the details? ...Okay, what was the last thing she remembered before falling asleep?

"I'm fulfilled," Shizuru said softly, thanking Natsuki for giving her everything she could possibly ask for in this moment.

Was that it? It certainly felt real to her, but… did it make sense for her to think that just before falling asleep? She couldn't even remember trying to fall asleep after that - did sleep really claim her so quickly? And what would have brought such a thought to her mind?

It must have been in the aftermath of a great night of sex. That would explain everything.

No! A blush rapidly filled Shizuru's face. That was ridiculous. She and Natsuki had never had sex before. They weren't even a couple yet-

They'd been married for years and had a daughter together. Of course, they'd had sex many times over the years. Why wouldn't they?

Right, right. They did. Shizuru breathed slowly. What was up with her this morning? It was like she was fighting with herself, trying to resist being here.

She really didn't need to. Natsuki loved her. She deserved this.

Shizuru took one more deep breath. Okay. She'd wasted enough time here. She should get to the kitchen for breakfast before Ayane got too impatient waiting for her. Smiling at the thought of her daughter sitting at the breakfast table anxiously, Shizuru got up and headed to her dresser. She took a few minutes to make herself just presentable enough for breakfast, and then headed out into the hallway and then to the kitchen.

"About time you showed up," came a female voice. It wasn't Natsuki. She was nowhere to be seen. The kitchen was nowhere to be seen, in fact; all the light had vanished as soon as she passed through the doorway. The voice had come from just behind Shizuru, but she didn't recognize the source of it. She tried to turn to see who it was, but for some reason her legs refused to obey her.

Looking down, Shizuru saw the reason why. A bloodied blade stuck out from her chest, having impaled her just moments ago. The sight of it and the realization of what had happened caused nausea to rapidly fill her body, triggering an urge to vomit which in turn caused her to move her chest, prompting a sharp wave of searing pain throughout it.

"Why…?" she tried to say, trying in vain to keep her focus and figure out what had happened. Where had her family gone? Why was she here? Why was she dying? Why was she…

She deserved this.

Shizuru's last grasp on consciousness slipped from her, and the world was gone.

To be continued