Title : The Last Mask
Disclaimer : I don't own Saiunkoku Monogatari. It belongs to Sai Yukino.
Rating : T for theme only
Genre : Friendship/Angst
Warnings : Hints of Yaoi, barely
Pairing : ReishinxKijin
Summary : The story behind the first mask Reishin made for Kijin, and of Kijin's struggle to overcome his personal issues with regards to his face.
Notes : Sequel to Dotting the Eyes. Written in response to LJ Saiun_Challenge prompt "Forgiveness".
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Reishin had not uttered a single word since the inquiry.
The inquiry in which Kijin, taunted by Secretary Sai and egged on by Advisor Sho, had unmasked himself. Reishin had come in late for the inquiry, just in time to see Kijin use his mind-numbing beauty to extract a confession from Secretary Sai.
Even before Reishin had appeared at the inquiry with his loaded remark, "You should have done this earlier", Kijin had already realized his own folly. But the process, once started, seemed to have a life of its own. Kijin, after a hiatus of almost two decades, was once again intoxicated by the power his beauty had on ordinary mortals. Kei could not put a damper on Kijin's dangerous high with his remark on the questionable ethics of extracting a confession through such means.
Kijin, a cold knot in the pit of his stomach, watched as Reishin entered the bedroom ahead of him. Reishin's every movement had a studied stillness to it. The angrier Reishin was, the more still his person became. Reishin folded back the mattress, and took from the secret compartment a cloth-wrapped package, placing it on the small table. He picked up the heavy nutcracker next to the bowl of nuts. Adjusting its weight, he brought the iron instrument down towards the cloth-wrapped package.
"Reishin, NO!"
Kijin knocked the nutcracker out of Reishin's hand. In the silence after it clattered to the floor, the two men stared at each other.
Reishin was the first to move. He sank onto the stool, and cried into his hands.
"Dumpling, forgive me. Don't break the last mask."
Reishin spoke through his hands, his voice tired.
"You have my forgiveness, but that is secondary, Kijin. "
He put his hands on the table and contemplated them.
"These hands will always be at your service. To make masks. It's up to you if you want the last mask. "
Kijin placed his hands over Reishin's.
"I want the last mask. I want forgiveness."
"It has to come from you, Kijin. There's no other way. The dead can't forgive."
Reishin watched as Kijin flinched. He reached across and removed Kijin's mask, revealing a tear-stained face.
Reishin looked at the mask he removed from Kijin's face. The very first mask.
Was I wrong to have given Kijin this way out? This artificial refuge provided by shielding his face from the world? This temporary reprieve from being tormented by the power of his cursed beauty?
Reishin sighed. He had hoped that Kijin would one day overcome his weakness, and not need the protection of masks. But Kijin had succumbed to the lure of his power again, something he had sworn off since that death.
[Flashback]
Kijin, all of nineteen, was proud to be given the task. A task assigned to him, not because he was the scion of the Ko clan, not because he was skilled in the martial arts, but because of his stunning beauty. It thrilled him to wield that power. It was a secret pleasure. A dark addiction he was not courageous enough to divulge to his new love, Reishin.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Reishin's pupils adjusted to the darkness. He could just make out the white swath of bandages. He reached out and his hand came into contact with the silky strands of Kijin's hair. He folded Kijin in his embrace.
"He killed himself! That wasn't supposed to happen! I was to seduce him, to lure him into a compromising position. That was all! "
Holding Kijin's face against his own, Reishin felt the tears soak through the bandages. He felt Kijin tense as the salt stung the slash wound on his cheek. A self-inflicted wound. An attempt to mar his own beauty.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
The wound healed. Kijin's beauty was unmarred. But, Reishin saw how Kijin would blanch when anyone should admire his beauty, which was often. He had become a ghost of himself. Reishin started carving the first mask.
Reishin got up from his stool and walked around to embrace Kijin. His beautiful, flawed Kijin. Hiding behind his masks, Kijin had regained his original confidence, his original personality. So much so that Reishin sometimes forgot the real reason behind the masks, almost believing the popular speculation that Kijin's masks were so that his beauty wouldn't distract his colleagues.
Reishin nuzzled Kijin's ear.
"Forgive me, Kijin, I forgot my promise. I will never destroy the last mask. Together we'll wait, ten years, or a hundred years, for you to forgive yourself."
[The End]
Notes : What the last mask looks like, and what it symbolises, are described in Dotting the Eyes.