My only Final Fantasy fic for a reason.

Every chapter will be edited and updated.

Pairing: Reno & Cloud

I'm not a responsible writer. I hardly update. Let's not hope too much.

Disclaimer: … I'll only say this once. I don't own jack shit. I don't own Reno or Cloud Strife.

Content: Expect profanity up the ass.

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Stranded with a Blondie

Prologue: I suck at Life.

So let's say the weirdest bullshit in the world happened and I hadn't become aware of it until I woke up. Well I believe 'weird bullshit', doesn't quite cover my situation. Yet the faint thought of suicide did go through my mind.

Point blank. None of this could really be happening. I mean sure, it could, but this was too surreal. So right now, being stuck in God only knows where, am I blinded by scorching rays of sun just dying to cook my face off. Oh but no, that doesn't cover it one bit. Ya see, Cloud Strife was the missing man who started all this.

A recon mission; Pure, simple and not one bit deceptive. Upon the upraise of horror that some douche with a huge sword disappears, the Turks get sent out. And I don't mean just to look for clues. I mean to find out what drove him to disappearing to begin with. The reason was moronic. The outcome even worse.

That's really how it all started. The day they were sent out like dogs with a reason that made little to no sense, was the moment perfect bonds began to break.

This moment, here, being cooked alive by the sun with nothing but dominating pain in all sorts of places, marked the end of what I used to be.

All I know is that somehow, all hell broke loose and the ever so friendly helicopter I was flying happened to come upon a dysfunction. The mother fucker, and I mean this machine is a pure bastardizing fucker of all mothers, caught fire and blew up. Yeah, I was there for it. If there's any compassion at all, it was the saving grace which let me pass out before impact. So I fell into a large body of water surrounding this island I wasn't aware of. I'm a winner and a jackass, as this appears to be the best I can do when it comes to saving my own ass. To be fair, I'm being a little hard on myself. Helicopters combusting for no particular reason really isn't within my grasp of control.

The end result, I was washed ashore and found by the ever so perky blonde, coupled with loving care and starry eyed adoration. Please, dually note the sarcasm by the way…

When I woke up with the missing savior in my face, I was given a look as if I were some infection that didn't belong. Real nice, huh?

Especially when finding him wasn't even in the bill to begin with.

So for a brief run through: I was flying a chopper, the bitch went bah-bam, I fell into the surrounding water while passed out due to a good ol' knock in the head, washed up into the sand, and woke up with Cloud Strife in my face. The lovely kicking particle to the whole, this place is a burly jungle. Humid and hot as hell, covered in all sorts of green shit I can't even name.

So there I lay out with a lovely glow of sunburn, my throat dry and itchy as fuck; left to contemplate suicide as if this were a horrible dream.

Wishful thinking… Real damn productive when I should be focusing on getting the hell out of here. Sadly, my focus is on the menial things, like how my body feels. When I really think about it, there's nothing left but a sad attempt of indignant fury gnawing at my brain. Especially when I really take note of every little irritation.

Oh joyous day, I believe there's sand coating every inch of me. My ass feels uncomfortably itchy, somewhere between grating and a hair plucking sensation that begs to be scratched. Too bad I won't be scratching it anytime soon. It turns out my right shoulder is dislocated and my left wrist is either twisted or fractured. I forgot to mention my leg kills for some reason and I can already tell I put my back out from my little landing.

How dandy.

Yet of course, I was given absolutely no sympathy. Cold mako hued irises merely glared at me. The only thing I was able to croak out was a weak "Ow...Water."

The pathetic words rasped my vocal cords.

The blondie bastard just stared for a moment, probably deciding if I was worth saving or not. Yet he ever so crudely rolled his eyes and instead of leaving me for dead, attempted to pick me up. Sadly enough, that's when I found out how bad the damage was.

EDITED: 1/13/2011