A note: This is the first story I have submitted to fan or online even, and came from an idea I had while I was chatting.

The story itself is not in my usual writing style, being written from the POV of a thirteen-year-old kid (I am actually nineteen), so hopefully I'll be motivated to submit more writing in the future in other styles.

Oh, and even while I may be bagging out Mario slightly in this story, in actuality I am a big Mario fan, so it's all just for a bit of fun.

Hopefully it'll make you chuckle now and then at least. Be aware of some strong language, too.

And I don't own Mario or any other characters from Nintendo, obviously.

My Adventure with Mario

Dear Diary, today I had a very bad drug-trip, which was quite an accomplishment for me seeing as I don't do drugs.

I still can't comprehend what actually happened; I was playing my beloved Mario game for the Gamecube, when all of a sudden there was a huge implosion, a cloud of dust, and Mario was standing there in all his glory, blinking and looking around my room.

"What the fuck!" I yelled; my first reaction to Mario appearing in my room.

I grabbed a bat from beside my bed and ran at this monstrosity, swinging the bat at his head. He just grabbed the bat with a gloved hand and gave me a look a bird might give an ant.

"It's-a-me, Mario!" He yelled at me cheerfully, and suddenly threw the bat straight at my TV, where it shattered the screen and caused it to fall backwards onto the floor with a crash.

My TV was totally destroyed, and it had cost me like fifty dollars!

"No, you can't be real!" I stuttered, backing away from the video game character.

"It's-a-me, Mario!" He shouted again, as if that proved everything.

Then he just stood there, looking at me.

Instead of getting mad again, I actually asked him what he wanted, especially with me, a thirteen-year-old kid! He explained using many a "It's-a-me, Mario's" and "Momma Mia's" that he got sick of his video game world and had to bust out to have some fun. Also, apparently Luigi was being a bitch.

And, Dear Diary, that's when I did something that, looking back on it now, was pretty stupid. "Okay Mario," I told him, "I suppose I can show you around town and stuff-and hey, you can meet my friends and sign autographs!"

Instantly Mario's eyebrows lowered. "Momma Mia!" He roared angrilly, which I took to mean "Bitch, I ain't hanging around with your friends!"

And with that, Mario kicked down the door of my room and stormed off down the hallway, leaving me to trail after him.

It was a good thing my parent's weren't home, for Mario opened the fridge, swore in Italian and roared "Where-a-the Pasta!" at the top of his lungs.

Apparently he really wasn't having a good day, Dear Diary! Then we headed outside, and Mario, upon seeing my mum's car in the drive-way, hopped into the driver's seat, taking the keys down from their hiding place on the dashboard.

"Mario, what are you doing?" I asked, sliding into the passenger's seat and buckling up my seat belt with a feeling of apprehension. "You can't drive!"

He just looked at me, his mustache quivering, and said three words: "Mario Kart, bitch!"

And with that we were off! Mario knocked over my mail box trying to get out of the drive-way, and I think he might have hit my cat, but apart from that he was a good driver!

"Maybe this will be a fun adventure!" I thought excitedly to myself.

Well, Dear Diary, it was pretty cool at first, driving around with my hero Mario-I pointed out all my favourite spots in the town to him, but after a while Mario's eyes drooped and he muttered "Momma Mia!" to himself, and gave me a look that said to shut up...then he spotted a fast food drive-thru and pulled the car into the ordering lane.

I'm just glad the place had pasta, or things might have gotten messy.

Unfortunately, we had no money on us, so when we got up to the counter where you pay for the meal, Mario just gave the female worker a look and yelled "It's-a-me, Mario!" at her, glancing intentionally at the pasta, indicating that he was such a huge star he should not have to pay for pasta.

" Yeah, that's good, but it'll be eight ninety-five," the girl muttered, not recognising who Mario was-being female I guess she had never played a game before!

"Let's a-go!" Mario roared at the employee, holding out his hand for the pasta. It was like his crack or something, he wanted it so badly.

"First, pay up!" The girl yelled back, and I shrunk down into my seat, dreading what Mario would do.

Well, next thing I know he's staring at the girl, and he starts to shake and vibrate, while turning a bright shade of red!

"Ghnnnnnnnn!" He grunted through clenched teeth. "Duck!" I yelled at the girl, but it was too late.

"Mariooooooo!" Mario cried, and his fist grew to twice its normal size, and suddenly he leaned over to the window and punched the girl in the face and then grabbed the pasta when it fell from her hands!

I could only look on in shock as Mario sped away, laughing like a maniac.

Mario gobbled the pasta down in about ten seconds, and then he revved the engine and took us down to the...shadier part of the town. I recognized it only because my father always warned me not to go down there.

"Mario, what are you doing?" I whispered, glancing fearfully out my window.

Mario only held up his white glove in front of my face, indicating that I should be quiet.

Then, to my horror Mario pulled over in front of a group of...of prostitutes and honked his horn loudly. I could not believe what I was seeing!

"Mario, what..." I started, but was hushed again. One of the girls came over to the driver's side door and looked in, bending down low. I tried to shut my eyes, but couldn't, Dear Diary!

"Well well well, what do we have here, looking for some fun, handsome?" The girl purred, and then froze when she saw Mario's face.

"Oh my god, what happened to you? Are you some sort of midget or something? Gross!" She cried at Mario, and slapped him in the face and moved on.

Mario's face turned red again and he shook in his seat, but he didn't yell this time, but went on to the next girl. Every time he was rejected by the girls, until he found an older one who would give him a "quickie" for 200 dollars.

"Let's a go!" Mario yelled triumphantly, rubbing his hands together. He went to open the door, but I put a hand on his shoulder.

"Momma Mia!" He yelled, turning to me.

I just shook my head sadly. "Mario, you can't do this! Normally I'd let it slide, because I've had so much fun so far, but...you have the Princess, Mario!"

Mario bowed his head. I thought he was going to get mad at me again, but then I saw a tear trickle down his cheek.

"Peach-a no like-a me!" He sobbed loudly, putting his head in his hands. "I musta save her twenty times already, but-a I see no action!" He bawled.

"And then yesterday-a, I walk in on her with Luigi! Luigi! He-a skinny ass bitch!" Mario roared through the tears, and collapsed onto my shoulder, crying loudly.

I nodded, understanding now. "So you thought you'd break out of the video game world and vent your rage out here." I said.

He nodded, blowing his nose on a hanky he pulled out of no-where it seemed. "I want to mess-a things up!" He sighed, gripping the steering wheel.

"How about you talk to Luigi about it?" I suggested. "Or move onto another girl? There's that Daisy from Mario Golf and stuff, she seems okay!"

Mario gave me a dirty look. "She slut, she have-a herpes!" He said disgustingly.

"That prostitute probably has herpes too," I said gently, and finally got through to him.

"Let's a-go!" He yelled, and we sped off once more.

We did some more sight-seeing, only Mario had calmed down a bit now, and only swore and cried every five minutes or so. Then we headed home, and I thought the adventure was finally over.

But, as we pulled back into my drive after Mario did a hit-and-run on a possum, we found someone waiting for us in the driveway, his arms crossed. It was Luigi.

"Momma Mia, it's lasagne boy!" Mario yelled upon seeing his brother, and stepped onto the accelerator, zooming towards Luigi.

"Mario, No!" I cried, and dove on the steering wheel, causing the car to turn at the last minute and crash through my living-room wall instead.

Mario hopped out straight away, advancing on Luigi. "You-a bitch!" He cried.

"Mariooo, I can explain!"Luigi said, ducking away from Mario's fists. "The princess and I-a were both drunk on wine!"

"You drink my wine too!" Mario roared, weaving and punching like a bad boxer.

"Yes, and you've had-a some wine too by the looks of it!" Luigi admonished.

The two started slapping at each other, and all I could hear from the car wreck were cries of "Oh nooo!" from Luigi, and "Here we goooo!" from Mario.

I stepped out of the car groggily and stumbled over to the brothers.

"That's enough!" I shouted, pulling them apart.

They both turned and looked at me, panting heavily. "You're brothers, you can't fight!" I pleaded. "Think of all the adventures you've had together, and besides, Bowser's your true enemy!"

"Bowser not so bad, I have him over last weekend!" Luigi butted in, and Mario punched him in the face, crying "Traitor!"

I pulled them apart again. "Yes, but...think of everything you've done together!" I tried again.

Mario's face softened, and he looked over at Luigi. "He has-a a point!" He sighed.

But Luigi still looked slightly put-off. "How-a many games you been in, huh?" He scolded.

Mario looked proud. "Twenty-seven!" He boasted, thrusting his chest out. "But you-a had a game too, Luigi! It was called...what, something-a to do with a mansion?" Mario chuckled mockingly, while Luigi turned red.

"That was actually a pretty good game!" I said, without thinking.

"Traitor! The game sucked balls!" Mario roared, and jumped on my back, punching and biting.

"Mario, no!" Luigi shouted, trying to get his drunk brother off of me, while I stumbled back into my ruined house. "Bitch-a!"Mario yelled into my ear.

But I had a plan. I ran into my room with Mario still attached to me and dove onto my Gamecube, which was still on. I managed to reach out a hand and pushed down the power button, throwing off the power.

"Nooooooooooo!" Mario cried, as he disappeared back into his game with Luigi, who was just entering through the door to my room.

I collapsed back panting onto my bed. It was over.

I started to laugh. Mario had been pretty cool, but I was glad to be rid of him! Now all I had to deal with was a massive, gaping hole in the side of my house.

Suddenly a ticking sound filled my ears, and I looked outside my door to see a Bob-omb quivering on the carpet-Mario must have dropped it before he vanished!

"Oh shiii-" I cried, as the bomb went off.

After that I only remember waking up in a hospital some hours later, to be told that my house was demolished, and they had barely pulled me out of the rubble in time to save my life.

My parents are going to be pissed...but I wouldn't take back my adventure for anything! Mario is the coolest! I hope he comes back to visit again soon!

-End of part 1.

Well, there you have it. As this is my first submission I would be over the moon to recieve any reviews, good or bad. It would make Mario happy, too. Well...no, not really, that last bit is a lie.