Cold

by She's a Star

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Cryssa the actual person belongs to herself. Cryssa the character was invented by moi! The song 'Amen' (I've picked a few lyrics out of there) belongs to Jewel.

Author's Note: I wrote this for my dear friend Cryssa to make up for the fact that I don't think there will be any Draco/Cryssa in the next chapter of Imaginary Romance. Cryssa is an original character in that story, who's Draco's ex-fiancee and also a descendent of Salazar Slytherin. She's pretty much a haughty snob with an evil streak. But heck, she's got weaknesses too.

This takes place when Draco and Cryssa first got engaged. Ready? Okay. Super. :-) This will still make sense, I suppose, if you haven't read IR, since it's just a little frightening vignette thing...Enjoy? Maybe?

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A forest fire
Nibbles at your veins
Crawls up your arm
runs away with your mind
And burns dry thoughts like leaves

I am weak.

Never have I felt this way before; lost, alone, utterly hopeless. A beautiful girl shouldn't feel so graceless, shouldn't think herself lower than anyone else. I have power that most only dream of, power that I will use, power that will save me while so many others perish.

I wonder why tears are silently streaming down my cheeks. I've never succumbed to tears before. I never wanted to.

And here I am, like a fool, watching my reflection in the water as I slowly fall to pieces.

A dry tongue
Screams at the sky
But the wind just breathes words in
As a strange bird tries to fly

I've been given to him without my consent. I don't care, honestly I don't. There are worse things than arranged marriages. At least he doesn't pretend to care for me; I don't think I could bear that. Instead, he scowls and sneers and narrows icy eyes at me while shooting scathing remarks my way. It doesn't hurt me - I do the same to him. I'm not about to let him believe that he can control me.

He isn't responsible for this sudden pitiful burst of anguish. I wish I knew what was so I could be rid of it and go back to not feeling and not caring the way that I always have.

All my life, I have existed without feeling, without living.

I'd like to keep it that way.

Pieces of us die everyday
As though our flesh were hell

Detached, I watch my teardrops fall into the water's glassy surface, disrupting the perfect face it reflects. I watch my own piercing violet eyes narrow, wondering why I feel as though everything has been lost when really, there's everything to gain.

And then another reflection appears behind mine, watching intensely with steely gray eyes. Our gazes lock in the water, and he doesn't sneer as he watches me, helpless and vulnerable in a way that the future wife of Draco Malfoy shouldn't have been allowed to be.

Soundlessly, I rise from the ground and turn to him. He studies me, expressionless, before silently holding out one hand to mine.

Everything suddenly seems so cold. The wind howls mournfully in the voice of one crying for a lost love. The unfeeling gray sky suddenly erupts into thunder as lightning splits it in two, a broken heart never to be mended. Rain pours down upon us, heaven-sent tears that leave me shivering and cold.

I take his hand, and he leads me back to black and white.

Where are my angels?
Where's my golden one?
Where's my hope
Now that my heroes have gone?

With him, I am comfortably numb.

With him, everything is different.

With him, I feel.

I don't want to feel.

FIN