I just finished reading Dreamland and got to wondering… what would happen when Caitlin first ran into Rogerson after therapy and everything? What would happen and how would she react? I've thought about this and really wanted to write my own version of it… I thought of a few dif scenarios and decided on this involving Cass, Caitlin, Rina and Corinna. I hope you enjoy it!
- - -
After a long day of family therapy and then an individual session, I was exhausted. We spoke of my progress, how much better I was doing now that Cass was here with me, and with the guidance of Rina, I was slowly getting better. I had been out of Evergreens for about a month, and had yet to run into Rogerson yet, but I knew it was a matter of time. That was one thing we always spoke of in therapy though, and I felt as if it was helping me some.
I still thought of Rogerson once in a while but it's gotten better. The aching feeling in my heart I used to get whenever I thought of him, was starting to go away. I felt as if I ever did see him, I could handle it. I never knew how wrong I was.
It happened that day, as I was driving home from therapy, and had the sudden urge for a Coke so I pulled into the Quick Zip. As I got out of my car and walked into the store I saw him, standing across the parking lot. I couldn't help but stare. His hair, as curly as ever, was pulled back. He was dressed in baggy jeans and a black t-shirt. As if he could feel my eyes on him he slowly turned and saw me.
We stood there staring at each other. Me in my black skirt and blue tang top, a light wind whispering through the air, whipping my hair around my face. I slowly brought a hand up to push my hair behind my ear, not taking my eyes off him. I took a slow step towards him and he just stood there. I couldn't see the look on his face from where I stood but I thought I detected shock, anger and something else… was it love still?
I couldn't speak but I didn't have to he finally seemed to break out of his trance and he slowly walked towards me. I just stood there frozen. I knew I should walk away, get in my car and drive, but my legs wouldn't move. He stopped three feet in front of me and looked me up and down.
"Caitlin," he said slowly, "Good to see you,"
My mind finally clicked in and I glared at him. "Fantastic, not thanks to you,"
"I'm sorry," he said. He seemed to mean it too, but I knew better then to believe anything he said.
"Like hell you are," I spat viciously, "If you were sorry you wouldn't have done it, if you were sorry, you'd turn around and leave right now! If you were sorry…"
"I wouldn't do this?" he asked and he closed the last three feet between us and kissed me. Everything that was sweet about him came rushing back and I felt myself falling for him again, but I couldn't let myself. I'd worked too hard. I angrily pushed him away from he and glared at him, breathing deeply. Suddenly I didn't want a coke anymore. I turned on my heel and walked back to my car, placed the keys in the ignition, put on my seatbelt and backed out of there.
- - -
The whole way home all I could think of was all that hard work going down the drain. When I arrived at home, my mom was busy in the kitchen and my dad was watching some sports on the TV. I didn't see my sister anywhere.
She had been visiting for the last week after being here a few days after I was released. She went back home to her boyfriend and job, since she was only aloud a few days off, but then took a week off to come visit as well. It was nice to have her home, but felt different then before she ran off.
I said hi to my mom and dad, trying to sound normal, as if nothing had happened, but it was my sister, after walking up to my room, who noticed something was wrong. All I had to do was walk up stairs, open my door and sit on my bed and my sister knew. She always knew.
"Caitlin?" She asked from the doorway, scaring me and making me jump.
I looked at her, hand on my heart, which was beating fast, and sighed.
"You scared me Cass,"
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I said a little too quickly.
"C'mon, I know you better then that. You didn't even come say hi to me, you always do. Tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing," I said, "I just forgot you were home."
"Nice try," she said giving me a look, "Now tell me what happened?"
I couldn't keep it from her; Cass was the only one I could possibly confide in because I couldn't keep anything from her.
"I saw Rogerson for the first time," I whispered.
"Oh," she said and she placed an arm around my shoulders, "How did it go? What happened?"
I sighed, "Well… at first… we just stared at each other… and then…" I took a deep breath and continued, "He said he was sorry and I started arguing that he wasn't and then… he kissed me," I said quietly.
"He what?" she asked sharply, "What happened? What did you do?"
"At first I liked it… felt as if I could stay with him… but… then it all came rushing back and I pushed him away and drove off."
"I'm proud of you," she said tracing the scar above my eye, "You did the right thing," I smiled, happy to have my sister by my side.
"Yeah," I said softly, leaning into her shoulder, as she traced the scar numerous times.
- - -
The next day at school I had told Rina everything and she was ready to kick his ass.
"That bastard!" She said, "I can not believe he'd have the guts to do that to you after all of this!"
"Rina, seriously, it's nothing. I'll probably never see him again,"
"You know that's a lie," she said, "He lived in town doesn't he?"
"Well… yeah,"
"So you're bound to see him again. I'll be with you though the next time it happens!"
"Rina," I said shaking my head, "You don't have to,"
"Yea Caitlin, I do," she said, "I wanna kick his ass for what he's done to you!"
I laughed softly, happy to have my friend back. "As long as you let me get a hit or two in as well,"
- - -
A week after I was released I had received a letter from Corinna with a permanent address and phone number and we talked every night. It took a little while before I was able to tell her all about what happened with Rogerson but with the help of my therapist I got through it. Tonight, when I talked to her, I told her every detail as well. She felt the pain for me.
"I can not believe I ever hung with the guy," she said and I could tell she was taking a hit from a bowl, "I mean how could he ever do anything like that to you?"
I had never told anyone, not even my therapist, that Rogerson's father hit him. I couldn't tell anyone that, even if it would help others understand why he was the way he was.
"I still have a hard time believe he ever did it as well," I said quietly.
"Caitlin, I just can't believe you never told me,"
"I didn't tell anyone Corinna, I couldn't."
Corinna sighed from the other end of the phone, then I heard her talking with someone in the background, voices muffled and then her respond back.
"I have to go Caitlin; I'll speak with you tomorrow,"
"Alright, bye Corinna,"
- - -
Life was getting easier now, I have caught glimpses of Rogerson every now and then but, after that first night, I never felt the same way. One time I was with Rina but she didn't try anything because I didn't want her getting in trouble. Maybe one day we'd get the revenge I deserve, there were many who wanted to help me get it, but for now, I'd just live one day at a time.
- - -
I'm not sure how many of you will read this but if you do please leave a comment and tell me what you thought of it.