Title: Protection
Author: M & S Shipper
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Everything up to `Three Words'(Season 8)
Disclaimer. They all belong to Chris Carter, 1013 and fox. Blah Blah.
Summary: An additional scene in Three Words. There is a chunk of time unaccounted
for between where Scully and Mulder talk to the gunmen and when Dogget stops
Scully leaving the building to give her the password. I thought I'd fill it up.
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"Somebody's been doing a little campaigning for her cause. Well, just
remember, boys, this is America. Just because you get more votes doesn't mean
you win."
His words began the sudden plummeting of my stomach as it dropped downwards to
the floor. There was no putting anything past Mulder.
The room became silent as everyone chose anything but Mulder to concentrate on.
I was too late though, and met his eyes immediately. He studied me harshly,
with a look that bordered on disdain. It was the moment he realized my
betrayal, and it will be forever emblazoned in my memory.
"I think perhaps we need to have a talk. . . alone." It was a severe
tone Mulder had never used with me before. I found myself studying my shoes
like a guilty schoolgirl.
The awkward moment was only intensified by the glare Mulder then shot towards
the others. It was a look that said `Get out now'. A collective sigh of relief
filled the room, as the Gunman offered a few good-byes before leaving as
quickly as they could. Frohike looked torn as his eyes moved between the two of
us; the indecision of whether to go or not written all over his face, but with
my quick nod of reassurance he also turned and left.
We were alone now. He studied me for a few seconds, his disbelief at my actions
evident. I was about to give into my original desire and apologize for this
breech of trust, but at the last moment I changed my mind.
There was no denying what I'd done; I had gone behind his back to his friends
and talked them into siding with me, advising him against pursuing the truth.
It really did look terrible from his point of view.
Those were the facts of the matter, but there was far more to it than that. I'd
agonized over this decision for a while, but someone had to look out for him,
or at least try. Mulder's quest meant so much that he was willing to risk
himself time and time again. I, on the other hand, was not ready to lose him,
not now, not ever.
Now the deed was done, and I had no recourse. It was the motives that I hadn't
yet had a chance to explain. I had a feeling I was about to get my chance.
"So, do you want to tell me what that was all about?"
"I should think it was obvious." I said quietly.
"No, not really." His words oozed sarcasm. "I'm not sure why,
after all these years, you'd decide to stand in the way of the truth."
His words cut through my well-engineered facade immediately, my face crumbling.
The truth has always been our motivation for continuing. It is that ever-fixed,
illusive mark that we sought tirelessly to find. It's the basis of our entire
relationship, and now I could see his trust in me wavered.
Even though he'd returned to me; things weren't the same, there was a part of
him that never came back. A divide had emerged between us, and that scared me
more than anything.
Before he was taken, our relationship was still only a fledgling in the
physical sense, but the feelings we had were so deeply ingrained it felt as
though we'd been together forever. His abduction devastated me, that's the only
way to describe it. The sense of loss was overwhelming, my desire to find him
all consuming.
There is no way I was going to let this destroy us, not when we were so close
to being happy. I regained my composure, and stood perfectly still, going over
in my mind what I was going to say. When I began to speak my voice was quiet
but remarkably controlled.
"I have no problem with your search for the truth Mulder, in fact I've
joined you in it more times than I can count. It's when you risk your life time
and time again that concerns me, and with no-one to pull you back, one day you
may not be so lucky." My voice cracked in the end but Mulder didn't seem
to notice.
"We've always known the journey wouldn't be easy Scully, and not without
some risk, but those risks are mine to take. I made my choice a long time
ago."
"Your decision." I repeated quietly, nodding my head in
understanding. "There was a time when it was our decision."
My eyes searched his in an attempt to find the man I'd loved and given
everything to. He looked away refusing to meet my eyes, his anger still
apparent. I blinked back tears as I felt my own anger start to rise.
"Damn it Mulder, what's happened to you? Before you were taken from me I
thought we had turned a corner in our relationship, things were changing. You
finally saw that the personal risks we took were too high, but now I feel like
we're back to square one. You're more invested in the cause than ever. What
scares me most is that this time I can't join you, I can't watch your back, no
matter how much I want to."
I turn on my heel, the tears already blurring my vision. I've said too much. He
wasn't ready to hear that. As my hands reach out for the doorknob, I realize
I'm running from my own home. But I don't care. I just have to get away; I'm
not strong enough to deal with this now.
The door is about to close behind me when I hear him speak softly.
"Scully, you can't protect me all the time."
I turned to face him, a different man before my eyes. The anger no longer
there, replaced with understanding.
"I know that."
"Say the word and I'll give up now. You're the only person I could do that
for," He paused searching my eyes, which were wide with hope "But I
don't think you want me to do that. You want answers as much as I do, about
Melissa, your abduction. . . . . . . ..your baby."
"Our baby." I corrected him. He smiled.
"Our baby." He said, repeating my words.
During his speech he'd moved across the room and was now reaching out, leading
me back inside. For the first time he placed an uncertain hand on my
ever-growing stomach, his eyes grew wide. With touch came belief. He began to
stroke timidly at first, then with more confidence.
My heartbeat was soaring, as I was filled with his excitement and my own. A few
moments ago I had felt so alone, and now I couldn't even conceive of that
thought. I hardly notices that he'd guided me back to the couch, his hand on
the small of my back felt so familiar and right. I lowered myself down and he
joined me, no longer two separate persons, now entwined as a couple.
Lazily we kissed each other, unhurried in our exploration. It's familiar and
new at the same time. He stroked me gently, without urgency, just pure
intimacy. I felt myself growing tired, leaning into his embrace, inhaling that
familiar scent that makes me feel at home.
We sat in companionable silence. His hand was still warm against my stomach,
possessive in it's grip, protecting.
The minutes grew into hours, the light faded, drawing out the shadows in the
room. It was only when the phone rang that I remembered. Our stolen time is
broken as I got up to retrieve the receiver.
"Hi Mom." I said sheepishly.
"No, I hadn't forgotten dinner." I turned to Mulder giving him a
questioning look. Our silent conversations have returned, and with one look he
understood.
"Go. I have heaps of stuff to do, I'll wait for you." He whispered
with a sly grin on his face.
"Yes, I'm still coming. I was just waiting for a cab. See you soon."
Once I hung up, I ordered a taxi and returned to Mulder. It felt as though I'd
no sooner sat down, before there was a honk of a horn, indicating the arrival
of the taxi. Time was always so short when we were together.
I gathered my bag and coat and headed for the door before being intercepted by
Mulder who drew me into his arms, kissing me with a passionate promise of what
was to come. I was tingling down to my toes by the time we drew apart, the
sensation making me light-headed.
"You'll be here when I get back?"
"Of course." I turned to leave, "and Scully?"
"Yes?" I turned back from the door
"I love you." He was beaming.
"I love you too." It was infectious, I found myself beaming too.
I closed the door behind me and began to move down the corridor. Smiling to
myself I began to think. Mulder wouldn't be Mulder if he didn't keep on after the
truth, but perhaps we would have some time together before we had to face that
obstacle again. We'd come to a dead end on this case.
Leaving the building I was just about to get into the cab when I saw John come
running across the road.
I wonder what he wants?
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The End
All types of feedback appreciated.
Thanks for reading.
A special thanks to my new beta reader: JewelBlue3 .