Title: Stay
Rating: PG
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia
Fandom: Guiding Light
Summary: She wanted to stay...
Disclaimer: I own nothing, Guiding Light and its characters are owned by Telenext Media, Proctor and Gamble, and CBS. The song included is own by their respective owners.
Author's Note: When you read this, please, please, please, PLEASE, listen to Stay by Carol Banawa on repeat.
I want you to stay
Never go away from me
Stay forever
But now, now that you're gone
all I can do is pray for you
To be here beside me again
Why did you have to leave me
When you said that love will conquer all
why did you have to leave me
When you said that dreaming
Was as good as reality
It wasn't how Natalia imagined her life once she accepted Frank's proposal. She didn't think her life would change so fast and she definitely didn't think her life would change like this. Olivia and Emma had left her; all of their things gone and now what was her home felt like a desolate house.
She sat on the edge of what was once Olivia's bed, looking around the empty and dark room that surrounded her. She pictured how the room looked before it was emptied, but it was so difficult. She could still see where Emma's picture stood on the side table, the alarm clock she was sure Olivia broke the morning Emma had to go back to school, and she was sure she saw the place where Olivia had a picture of all three of them beside the clock. It wasn't that she studied Olivia's room, she didn't; all she did was pass her gaze those months before, but looking back, she remembered where everything was.
She took a deeply breath and willed for herself from crying, but her body was relentless as tears started to roll down her face. She didn't bother wiping them away since she knew more tears would wash down her face. Her family had left her and that reality started to dawn on her. She knew that when accepted Frank's proposal that her life would change, but it felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest once everything started to settle in its place.
I'm doing this for the sake of my family, Natalia reasoned with herself, but it felt so bitter to think of that reason. Her heart wasn't in the right place and she knew it, she knew it, but she chose to supersede that thought with the idea that life would be better if things worked out the way it did, even if it meant sacrificing her own happiness as well as her love.
And now I must move on
Trying to forget all the memories
Of you near me
But I can't let go of your love
That has taught me to hold on
I want you to stay never go away from me
Stay forever
But now, now that you're gone
All I can do is pray for you
To be here beside me again
Why did you have to leave me
When you said that love will conquer all
why did you have to leave me
When you said that dreaming
Was as good as reality
Olivia stood in the middle of her room in the Beacon and stared at all the boxes and bags scattered everywhere. Emma was off with Jane, God knows where, but she wasn't with her to bear witness her current state.
She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted to run back to Natalia, but that wasn't going to happen. Even though she was Olivia Spencer, that woman who always managed to get what she wanted, this was something she had to let go. Though she wanted Natalia to herself, wanted to love her like no one could, and give her what she deserved, she didn't deserve Natalia at all.
Natalia needs more than love because love can only get you so far, right? Olivia shook her head and sat on her bed, unable to stay standing as she thought about the one person she ever loved. She didn't want to leave, she really didn't, but she knew that she had to. She knew that if she ever confessed her feelings to Natalia, things may fall unrequited or things may be reciprocated, but either way life would be a challenge and she wanted to spare Natalia from more pain.
Natalia changed her life and she wasn't ever going to forget it. Natalia taught her how to give instead of constantly receive and that was what she was doing, giving. Even if her heart felt like it had been torn apart in two, she knew that things would work out better this way, even if it meant sacrificing her own happiness as well as her love.
And now I must move on
Trying to forget all the memories
Of you near me
But I can't let go of your love
That has taught me to hold on
Why did you have to leave me
When you said that love will conquer all
why did you have to leave me
When you said that dreaming
Was as good as reality
Natalia lied on Olivia's bed, still able to smell the woman's scent against the sheets. It made her heart break that the one person she wanted in her life was gone. When she accepted that engagement ring, she didn't think things through. She wanted Olivia back in her house, back in her arms and back in her life. Although she wanted Olivia and Emma back, she couldn't always have what she wanted. She gripped the blanket beneath her hands and wished that the memories she shared with her family would stop flooding her mind. She agreed that she would be making a new family with Frank and her past would only be a memory. The thought of her life with Olivia and Emma as a memory broke her heart; it wasn't fair, she didn't want to let them go.
Why did you have to leave me
When you said that love will conquer all
why did you have to leave me
When you said that dreaming
Was as good as reality
Olivia sighed as she lied on the side where Natalia first sat when she took care of her. Everything started to fall apart right when it felt balanced. She hated how everyone she loved had to leave and she really hated how she was able to walk away even if it felt so wrong. When Natalia accepted Frank's proposal, Olivia knew the other woman made her choice. She hoped that there was something between them, but Natalia left her when she said yes. She wanted to stop that proposal, but was it fair for her to deny Natalia the family she deserved? She wanted to shout out of pain, but all she could do was cry; she was tired of fighting because maybe, just maybe, she would lose.
"What the hell is going on?"
I want you to stay never go away from me
Stay forever
Natalia stared at the wall in front of her as tears continued to fall. She made her decision when she accepted to be engaged and that was so half-hearted, but now she knew what she needed to do.
"I love you, Olivia, and I need you with me now and forever."
I want to stay but I have to go away
Olivia reached for her cellphone as it started to ring on the side table. She looked at the display and saw that it was Natalia.
"I love you, Natalia..."
Olivia shut her eyes as she turned her phone off and tossed it to back on the table.