Disclaimer: D. Gray Man is the property of Katsura Hoshino.
Warnings: Angst, character death, general misery and a bit of confusion.
Summary: The world has been destroyed, but there are some survivors - but for how long can they survive?
Written: February 27, 2008
AN: I found this in one of my flashdrives and found it a bit interesting. I remember writing it, but I'd totally forgotten about it. I thought I'd put it out there to see what people thought. As with some of my vignettes, I may continue this. Also - I wrote this in 2008, so it may or may not be similar to my current writing style. In other words... No biting me. D:

A Loss to Survive
by: Kagome-reincarnation

What happens when the world ends? In our case, we were captured. Captured and abused. 'If only,' many cried out, 'If only we hadn't been with exorcists. If only we hadn't been with them.' I can't say that I blame them. After so much of this same abuse, I can't blame them at all. Because Innocence is the absolute opposite of the Noah, we survived. Barely. Somehow, we managed to protect most of the Finders as well. Too bad we wanted to die just as badly as they did.

When the world ended, it disintegrated. No one would be here if Rhode hadn't opened her own dimensions up. While they'd originally been intended for the Noah and Akuma to remain in as they worked on a new, different world, me and my fellow exorcists, and the finders and others that we protected- well, we'd managed to worm our way in.

Now, though, most of us wish we had died when the world ended. After all, it was inevitable that they'd find us in the end. Rhode was the mistress of dimensions no matter what kind of labels we gave her. When she found us, she laughed. It was an eerie laugh.

"No wonder we didn't see you die." She'd grinned happily. "You were in here!"

So many people had frozen in fear. So many people would never move ever again. Their time had ended. Then, she'd seen me.

"Allen!" she'd cried out gleefully as she'd found her way over to me.

"Rhode." I responded. What more could I say? My voice was catching in my throat, and there was a tennis ball in there that hadn't been there before. My heart wedged itself carefully lower in my rib cage, before all-too-happily delivering itself to my stomach. I thought I was going to be sick. My eye hadn't reacted at all, which was a given, seeing as she wasn't an Akuma but a human.

"I'm so happy to see you survived!" she sang out cheerily.

I didn't doubt that I wouldn't want to know the reasons. At this point, she was probably waiting to rend my eyes out before skinning me alive, for all she kept saying that she liked me. Of course, what happened in the end was much worse than that.

But it was what she said just after that made me want to die on the spot. "Tyki's been looking for some entertainment, you know! And Akuma aren't exactly the best of partners! All too willing, and some die from it, ya know. The games Tyki play are games for humans that can take the pressure."

The unsaid message there was: "I'll be giving you to Tyki as a toy, so behave."

Almost as if on reflex from hearing his name, my Innocence activated, but before anything else could happen, my world suddenly shifted, and I was alone.

Or not.

I could hear her voice echoing off of what I assumed were walls around me.

"Oh, don't be such a scaredy-cat!" she said. "Tyki'll be here in a coupla minutes to take you to play. Explain things to him carefully, okay? Or else he might do something more painful, you know!"

I wondered what the hell was going on. What did she want with us? I amended that thought. What did she want with the others? Obviously, I had been given to Tyki. I hadn't even seen what had happened to the others because she'd gotten rid of me so quickly.

So few of us had survived. It was imperative that I knew what happened. Lavi and Bookman had joined us here, but Bookman had died quickly. He'd been very close to death when the two had finally entered the dimension we'd been in, but the small time that we had in solitude and in fear had weakened him far too much to last, so he'd died. Lavi was the new Bookman now. I don't doubt that he'd live the longest out of all of us.

Komui and Lenelee, though… Well, they died. Komui died defending Lenelee when she'd been injured: her Innocence wouldn't activate any longer. Of course, she'd followed swiftly after. Komui wasn't an Exorcist. He died before he could so much as land a hit. Of course, that was to be expected. Even Exorcists have problems with the Level Fours.

We hadn't been able to get to her in time, and she died. Alone. She must have been sad, but resigned to it. I bet that she was happy that she was the first of the Exorcists to go. It meant that the others still had a chance, anyways.

The two siblings never even made it to any of Rhode's dimensions.

Kanda was still alive, unbelievably. He had his important things, too, and it seemed as if his curse had broken when he'd moved into Rhode's toy box of alternate realities. We guessed that it wouldn't work in a dimension other than the one it was cast in, but Mana's curse was still there. I didn't mind. It kept Mana with me, and it told me when Akuma were coming.

It probably stayed because it was a curse placed by an Akuma. By Mana.

Krory was, unbelievably, still alive. He was separated from us along with Miranda when we'd found the dimensions. I can easily guess that he's still alive though. After all, he'd drunk so much Akuma blood that he'd gone quite crazy in the last battle. Out of all of us, he was the only one that escaped from the battles with only minor injuries. Still, Miranda was with him, so he was sure to be okay.

Miranda, though, was still alive and in one piece. She'd been protected by Finders when she'd had her Time Record on. It seemed that she'd had to get used to being protected by the living dead, but because her Innocence was a support-equip type, there was little else she could do.

Kanda and the Generals. The Finders. The innocent townspeople and travelers that we'd managed to bring with us. They were all people that Rhode had separated me from. I wouldn't have minded so much if I hadn't known that Tyki would be coming. For that matter, when? How long would I be waiting in the darkened confines of the room that I was locked away in?

I felt guilty. So many people would suffer. So many people would die. All because I couldn't do anything.

I know it's not entirely my fault. My eye doesn't detect humans. If it did, I'd collapse constantly from the strain of it. The people that we had rescued were all people that had, at the time, wanted to be rescued. If they blamed us for what we'd granted them, then there was nothing we could do. I knew that.

But I still felt so guilty. After all, wasn't it my fault? People were dead right now, and because it was Rhode that had shown up, more would go insane before dying.

My train of thought had stopped there. After all, how well can a person think when they've suddenly realized that they've been tied up?

"What do you want?" I asked, trying not to tremble. While I might have normally been unafraid, the strain of living had been catching, and I wasn't even up to speed.

He seemed surprised by both my presence and my words. He sighed, rubbing his temples before reaching out to grab the bonds that restrained me. Having been secured, I felt the brief sensation of being dragged through another dimension once more. Well, perhaps not the sensation of being dragged once more, but I certainly was going to be adjusted to the odd feeling of moving through dimensions soon enough. Every venture in which I met Rhode Camelot seemed to end up with me roving through some form of dimension now.

I didn't bother to look around, but I kept my eyes trained on Tyki. He seemed sincerely surprised that I was there.

As I'd thought, he was. He snapped his fingers, and the ropes disappeared, surprising me. Of course, the shock wore off quickly. Tyki, I was learning, was a rather puzzling person.

"What're you doing?" I demanded, suspicious, rubbing at the spots on my arms where the bonds had been. I couldn't quite believe that he's so easily released me.

He shrugged, before granting me a response. "It's not like you can escape, can you?"

I blinked. While that was certainly true, I still didn't understand why he was keeping me alive. Still, I didn't want to push my luck, so I just nodded, before taking the time to look around the room. Since he was keeping me alive, I had to assume that it was worth something to him, even if I wanted to be done with it.

I wanted to say something as the awkward silence began to settle in, but I didn't, simply looking around. It was a simple place; a room, of sorts, with just the necessities. There was a bed, of course, and a dresser. There was also a table and two chairs, one of which Tyki was sitting in, long legs casually folded, one over the other, and the other to which Tyki was gesturing for me to sit in.

I sat. No sense in trying to argue with my captor.

"Now, what were you doing there?" he asked, undoubtedly curious.

I shrugged, not trusting myself to speak. He frowned. "I asked you a question."

I flinched, before attempting to explain. While I might've been bold at heart, or have held courage, my name no longer had meaning.

He sighed, guessing that he'd frightened me. "Look, it's not like I'm going to kill you. I'm just trying to figure out why you're still alive, and, more importantly, sitting in that chair in front of me."

I calmed, I suppose. My name had no meaning now. 'Walker' was just a name, no longer of worth to anyone.

Still, I somehow got the words out. "We escaped." I said, before swallowing. "We followed the Akuma into one of Rhode's dimensions. We killed the Akuma, and kept ourselves safe inside of it. Rhode found us. She sent me to where you found me."

I kept the part about being Tyki's toy out. There was no point in giving him any ideas.

"I see." he looked me over. Suddenly, I was conscious of how I looked. I was covered in Akuma blood, and the blood of both exorcists and finders. Some of the said blood was dried, cracking from my movements and seemed almost as if they were scabs. My silver hair was probably forever stained red by now, and it was likely matted and dirty. We'd not exactly been able to bathe once we'd entered. Even before, it would've been too difficult with the death cries of others ringing out.

"So you're my responsibility now." Tyki seemed to be musing. He looked me over again, and sighed, before standing. It was interesting to watch. He moved languidly, almost like one of the cat predators. I was watching him warily, ready to bolt or attack. Because it was Tyki, I was more likely to attack. If I can't win against him in a straight fight, there's no way I'd be able to run from him.

He noticed. "Calm down, boy." He grinned at him. "It's not like I'm going to bite you."