A/N :First TMNT fanfiction, please read, love and review.

April sat in the lair, her mind deep in thought. She wasn't really paying attention to the TV or what the guys were doing. Sighing softly she moved another stray hair out of her face. All those April clones, the Kraang, the foot clan hunting her, finding out she was some kinda mutant half human alien baby. It was all getting to be a bit too much even for the ever cheerful April O'Neil.

Her head was still hurting, not like before when it was as if her brain was on fire. She hadn't been able to form a clear thought after what had happened at TCRI. If Ralph hadn't been there, she didn't want to think about it. April rubbed her temples trying to will the dull ache away. Donnie said there was only so many pain killers she could take. She was bruised and banged up but she would live. She would live. Why had she been so stubborn, insisting on following the guys? If she hadn't she would never of found out she...wasn't human.

At least the guys had been cool about that, even Casey was seemed cool with it. He said the right thing for once after she had told him. Sighing again, she flopped over on the couch. At least between the turtles at night and Casey during the day at school she was starting to feel safe again. No matter how many times she told them she could protect herself it felt nice having her family so close.

And she couldn't stop thinking about Kurtzman. He has known so much about her, her family, the Kraang. She had been mulling it over for the past week, the idea of calling him. There was so much she wanted to know and seeing a picture of her mother that he had. It was upsetting and deeply disturbing. Cupping her hands to her face the red head groaned loudly.

"April are you alright?" A soft, fatherly voice drew her from her thoughts.

April blinked, the room was empty and static was on the TV. "Hai, Sensai, I was just lost in thought."

Splinter rubbed his beard. "It must have been some thought, the movie has been done for quite some time and the boys have gone to get dinner."

April sighed feeling suddenly weak.

"Do you wish to talk?" Splinter asked his voice so full of love. April felt herself tearing up.

"Its...Its just been so much, I know I shouldn't complaint, I'm lucky to still be alive and you and the guys are my family it just...I feel so lost. I was thinking of calling Kirkland to see if he could maybe give me more information about my family and...my mother. I don't even remember her." She let out a sob, then another, then more unstopping sobs began to escape her lips.

A gentle, furry hand settled on her shoulder, lending her a quiet strength. "If this Kirkland has answers, I see no harm in talking to him. When you feel strong enough. The past can be painful but it shapes who we are my child."

April wiped her eyes looking up at Splinter and he smiled fatherly at her. April for her part managed a small smile back. "Thank you."

Splinter gave her shoulder another squeeze as shouting and yelling started fill the air. Now it was Splinter's turn to sigh, "I believe my sons are home."

"Hey April we got pizza!" Mikey shouted as he somehow managed to juggle a pizza box while leaping over the turnstiles.

Splinter had retreated silently and April furiously wiped her eyes. She hoped they wouldn't see she had been crying.

"Check out the knucklehead we found too." Ralph called, elbowing playfully the hockey stick carrying boy, walking next to him.

"You're the knucklehead!" Casey said hitting Ralph on the back of the head. April shook her head slightly. It was official, she would never understand boys.

Leo came over, one glance at her face and April knew she was found out.

"Have you been crying?" Leo asked, though he already knew the answer.

If that was one thing she loved about her turtle brothers they cared, they really cared. She felt the tears start to prick at the edges of her eyes. She willed them not to fall.

"Crying?" Donnie was over in an instant looking deeply into her eyes. His eyes searching and detached like the doctor he was. She knew he was scanning her for injury. Finding no outer wound Donnie cocked his head slightly. "Is your head still hurting?" She nodded, not trusting her voice. Donnie glanced at the clock. "You can have another pain pill in half an hour, can you last till then?" Again she nodded suddenly aware of so many eyes on her and yet not on her. Ralph was playing the pinball with Casey, Mikey was in the kitchen, Leo was putting in another tape but she knew all of them were listening.

She swallowed hard, might as well ask now. "Guys do you think maybe I could meet Kurtzman and talk, its just there's so much more I want to know and those pictures he had of my mom. I know you guys probably don't understand but..." A green finger went over her mouth gently hushing her. Leo smiled. "April we understand."

Donnie's eyes bugged out as Leo touched April lips. Donnie was, again, a loss for words.

"Yeah, just cuz we never had a mom doesn't mean we don't get it." Mikey called coming out of the kitchen balancing many plates of pizza.

"Shell for brains why didn't you just bring the plates out?" Ralph yelled going to help before Mikey dropped all the dinner.

"Ralph don't hit him." Leo chastised moving away from April. She took that moment to breath in, they understood, how could she ever doubt they wouldn't?

"April would you like me to call him? I could set it up for you." Donnie asked finally finding his voice.

April turned and gave Donnie that smile that made him feel like snow melting in the summer sun. "I would really like that. Thanks Donnie."

With that she dashed off to the table for some pizza. Her feet feeling lighter then they had just moments ago.

Donnie could only watch her go, he would do anything for her. He would die for her. But as he stood alone, watching his family at the table, he couldn't help but wonder. Did she have any idea what she did to him?

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