Title: Drowning Control
Author: Za Webmaster Authoress
Posted On: August 29th, 2007
Summary: Chris needs control. As his suicidal wish, he will get it, should Fate allow it. (songfic to Drown by Three Days Grace)
Note: Meh. Annoying Sirhc wouldn't let me not finish this, so blame him. Not my best work, but good enough for a oneshot.
Rated For: Some language, thematic elements, some blood, attempted suicide.
Good morning day
Sorry I'm not there
But all my favorite friends
Vanished in the air
It's hard to fly when you can't even run
Once I had the world, but now I've got no one
Chris swallowed the tears threatening to fall. His friends were dead, not a single one remained. They had disappeared, gone like a whisper snatched by the winter winds. His thoughts were disrupted as he shifted his foot and pain shot through him. Dried blood stained his clothes, hair, lips, and skin.
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to hold me down
I would change my direction
And save myself before I
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to push me around
I would change my direction
And save myself before I drown….drown
To control him was too hard of a mission for anyone to take on. Wyatt, all-powerful, Twice Blessed, Wielder of Excalibur, Heir to Charmed Power, and Son of an Elder had tried with all his might and failed shamefully. No one could control Chris, not even himself.
Good morning day
Sorry you're not here
All those times before
Were never this unclear
It's hard to walk when you can't even crawl
Once I had this world, but now I've lost it all
He collapsed, unable to take the pain. This was a stupid move on his part. He had tried to kill a demon, and had gotten ambushed instead. The side of his face connected with the rough gravel, but the minor pain was almost welcomed compared to the searing agony in the rest of his body.
If I needed someone to control me
No, control was not an issue for Wyatt. He had control. Chris, however, wanted - nay, needed - control so badly. So very badly did he need control.
If I needed someone to hold me down
I would change my direction
And save myself before I
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to push me around
I would change my direction
And save myself before I drown
Why did he put himself through this? This hell? Putting up with the Charmed Ones harsh and caustic remarks, their apathy towards his survival. If he wanted to shoved around, to be controlled, he would've stayed in the future and joined Wyatt. They never wanted to see him again, despite the fact that Piper was pregnant with his past self. But they didn't know that yet.
Rolling faster than I'm breathing
Drown
Rolling faster than I'm breathing
Drown
Rolling faster than I'm breathing
He felt the blood rise into his mouth. He spat it out, the effort sending a dull roar of pain through his abdomen. More blood flowed into his mouth, and he used what little energy he had to lift up his head and allow the blood to pour from his mouth. He'd rather not drown in his own blood, if he had the choice. He heaved for air as the blood flowing into his mouth and onto the gravel increased.
Christopher Perry Halliwell needed control. And now, he was going to use the last of it. He orbed to the attic of the Halliwell Manor, his body crashing to the ground. He let out a yelp of pain. Piper burst into the room.
"What the hell?" she shouted.
"Help. I'm dying." Chris gasped, blood flooding his mouth again.
"LEO!" Piper screamed after a moment of hesitation. Blue orbs filled the room, and Leo's form appeared. Piper pointed at Chris, and Leo reluctantly bent down to heal the witchlighter. A moment later, Chris shot into a sitting position, pain still striking through his body but at a minimal intensity.
"Chris." Leo spat, his tone demanding an answer.
Chris sat up, trying to block out the remaining pain. Leo had obviously only healed him enough to let him live.
"Thank you." he said, though the words were like acid. He closed his eyes, still trying to stop the agony.
"I'd like to see you dead Chris, but I'd rather it be by my own hand." Piper snarled, vehemence shattering the already broken pieces of Chris's heart. Tears leaked from close eyelids, and a look of absolute hopelessness overtook Chris's normally impassive features.
"Then kill me now, damn it. Or I'll do it myself." Chris choked out, trying not to break into sobs.
Piper nor Leo obviously had no real idea how to correctly respond to those words.
Chris opened his eyes, tears now falling freely. "Do me a favor."
Piper and Leo regarded him with curiosity and anxiety.
"When your second son is born." a pause as Chris tried to stop the sobs. "Kill him then, so he won't have to suffer with looking at his mother while she says she wants him to die by her own hand."
Piper and Leo are now thoroughly taken aback. "What?" Piper demanded, her voice like liquid fire.
"Kill me when I'm born!" Chris commanded, his voice rising as he pulled himself into a crouching position as he stared down his parents. "I'm your son, you morons! So please do me the fucking favor of killing me when I'm born! I'd rather die than have to go through this! I've watched my own family kick me out, tell me their not indifferent about my life or death - that I handled - but now my own mother says she wants me dead! Not dead, but MURDERED by her own fucking hand! I have watched everyone I loved and cared about die before my eyes! Kill me when I'm born! I WILL NOT GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN!" Chris orbed away, leaving two stunned individuals.
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to hold me down
I would change my direction
And save myself before I
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to push me around
I would change my direction
And save myself before I
(Save myself before I drown, save myself before I drown, save myself before I drown)
As Chris looked at the growing storm that was rolling into San Franscisco, he smiled. His parents had just orbed in. He turned to them, the smile a twisted version of enthrallment. Words do not describe the smile one has when they do what Chris did.
"Save myself before I drown." he calls out, and with his arms spread out, steps off the edge of the bridge and towards the raging ocean.
He hears his mother's scream, his father's shout. But his mind is made up, not to live. He needs it, the last bit of control.
But since when has fate cared about what someone needs?
Hmm... Does Chris live or die? It's up to you, because this is a oneshot and the last line is up for anyone to decide Chrissy's fate. This was an annoying vignette that has been angging at me for weeks to finish it, and Sirhc finally kicked my ass (I got even though, so no worries) and I've been dark since I learned school is starting the 5th of September. So, to make myself happy, I have posted this. Reviews are greatly appreciated!