This idea just randomly came to me one night, so i thought i'd write it. I know many others have written stories surrounding this, but its such a huge part of Deacon and Rayna's relationship. I would have loved the show to have done a flashback to the moment Deacon found out about Rayna's pregnancy and upcoming marriage to Teddy, because it really would of given us an insight into that time of their lives. Reviews are always appreciated. Thankyou.
It was a hot Nashville summers day, a slight breeze made the heat bearable. Rayna pulled up outside the rehab clinic, a different one from the four previous times.
"Well, this is it." she said, not daring to look at Deacon in the passenger seat in case she broke down.
"Fifth time lucky, huh?" he softly spoke as he gathered his bag and opened the car door. The heat hit them both like a train.
Rayna knew in her heart that this would be more of a goodbye. She couldn't wait for him any more, she couldn't be the distraction that was holding him back from getting better. She hated the thought of telling him that in case it ruined his chances of really trying to beat this disease. She had found this clinic online a few days ago and read the reviews - all were positive. This was the last time she was ever going to try and help Deacon, because all four times previous, it hadn't worked. She was starting to think this was how he would be forever, and that broke her heart.
It all began after Vince's death. He blamed himself and he had never relieved himself of that burden, no matter how many times Rayna or anyone else for that matter told him otherwise. He was the one who made Vince drive drunk so he was the one who caused his death - according to him. The drinking had completely gotten out of control to the point Deacon would come home drunk almost every single night, sometimes he wouldn't come home at all. Rayna would lay in bed frantically praying that he was still alive. That she wouldn't wake up to a call that he was dead and that she had to identify his body. It was constantly on her mind and she hated it. She loved him, but this disease was destroying him and her at the same time.
"So, ill see you when i get out?" he said, like he always did. He never really thought of the impact all this was having on Rayna, because he was so caught up in himself. He thought Rayna would just stick with him no matter what, and no matter how he acted.
Rayna hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should break his heart now, or just give him that hope that she'll be here on his release day. If she was honest with herself, she probably would be here when he walked out of those doors, but she would be telling him that she couldn't wait for him. "yeah, course." she said.
He placed a hand on her cheek, gently moving her hair out of the way in the process. He placed his lips upon hers, softly kissing her. "i'm sorry, baby."
She believed he was sorry, but she knew it was a constant cycle. He couldn't escape this disease, and he would continue saying sorry for the rest of their lives if she didn't let him go. "i know you are. Oh babe, i know you are." she sighed. "you need to fight this, and you need to win, okay?"
He nodded before picking up his bag and giving her one last kiss goodbye. He believed she would wait for him again. He'd bought her a cabin up by the lake so they could spend the rest of their lives with one another, and he truly believed that would be the case. He believed she would never give up on him.
Rayna stood on the spot, watching him turn away from her. A tear fell from her eye and she quickly swiped at it, not wanting to let this break her any more than it already has. She wanted to wait for him, but she just couldn't.
He turned to face her once more, giving her a slight smile. "Thankyou." he mouthed. He could see the pain in her eyes and it broke his heart. It was the moment he finally realised just how much this was ruining her. How much he had ruined her. He turned back around and focused on the destination in front of him, the big building which he would be in for the months ahead. He had no idea how long he'd be in there, but he knew he had to stay until he was fully comfortable with his sobriety and then he could walk out of those doors and into Rayna's loving arms.
She watched as he opened the door to the building and disappeared inside. That was it. She had let him go. The hardest part of all, was that she was pregnant with his baby, and he had no idea. She couldn't tell him. She couldn't put her child through what she had gone through, not while he was like this. She wasn't sure if she would tell him when he got out, but right now she thought this was the best way to let him go.
She made her way back to her car, and it smelt so strongly of his cologne - her favourite one. Her tears began to fall, and they wouldn't stop. She felt so much pain this time around and she knew that was no doubt because not only was she letting him go, but she was also forcing her...their unborn child to let him go. It wasn't easy for her to make this decision, but she knew in her heart it was the best one. She couldn't bare to sit here and stare up at the centre for much longer, so she drove away in hopes this time around it would work. That the next time she saw him, he would be a happy, sober deacon. The Deacon she knew he could be.