Title: Lá Nollag
Pairings: Kim/Kerry
Spoilers: "All About Christmas Eve". Takes place right after it.
Disclaimers: I don't own any of these characters

A/N: Funny story about this. I actually started most of it as a file called Xmas Something while I was writing the NaNo story (Black Marble Sand). Anyway, I was listening to Christmas songs after "All About Christmas Eve" and whoop... Christmas Waltz came on and it was like Tetris blocks the way it fell into place, mostly. :D

Warning: This was written under the influence of Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy duet by Bing Crosby and David Bowie. ;)

Kerry stepped up to her door and took out her key, putting it in the lock, she blinked as the door opened from the inside and her eyes got large. "My God..."

"What took you so long?"

Kerry opened her mouth and closed it, and opened it again. "Uhhh..."

Henry came out from behind Kerry's legs and looked between the two women. "Mama..."

The tall stranger fainted with a dull thud.

Henry frowned and looked up at Kerry, "Mama?"

Kerry put a hand over her eyes as she led Henry around the woman and into the warmth of their home. "I think that we're going to miss the Christmas party Henry."

Henry poked at the unconscious woman.

Kim's eyes scrunched up in pain and she put a hand on the back of her head. "What the?" She jerked as she looked above her and Kerry loomed, "Much taller from this angle, much, much taller."

Kerry held a hand out, "What the hell are you doing in my home?"

Kim put a finger up, "You know, the first question that someone asks can be... mmphtmm..."

Kerry's hand didn't leave Kim's mouth as the red head spoke again, "What are you doing in my home?"

Kerry slowly took her hand away and Kim spoke, "You have a chi..." Kerry raised her hand and Kim held her own hands up, "It was just an idea, obviously a bad idea. I was in town, I realized I still had your key, I let myself in, was going to give back the key and leave, and then, you appeared."

Kerry shook her head, "Well, make yourself at home... again..."

Kim blinked, "Uh, is that referring to the fact that I let myself in?" Kerry shot Kim a look, "Right, I'll take the look of death as a yes. So, does the young child have a name?"

Kerry tilted her head to one side as she responded, "You know, the first question that someone asks can be very telling... What's your real first question?"

Kim gave Kerry a look of her own as she sat down on the couch, "I just wanted to know his name?"

"Henry Guillermo."

"After your father, and..."

Kerry crossed her arms over her chest as she leaned against the kitchen doorway. "What if I said it was none of your business, that you left and told me to get on with my life and I did, pretty damn well. And why the flying hell are you here Kimberly?"

Kim put her head back against the couch and closed her eyes, "You sound like my mother when you enunciate my name like that, not a good picture." Kerry raised her eyebrow, "I mean, the sexiness with the mother thing, hurts my brain... never mind. Ah, yes, I did say something along those lines huh?"

Kerry stared at Kim, trying to read why she was there in her face, "You said, 'Go back to your life, Kerry.' It's one of those things that I won't soon forget. That and 'I did you a favor.'"

Kim opened her eyes and met Kerry's with a frown, "I don't think I said that to you." Kerry turned and went into the kitchen, causing Kim to get up and follow her. "What was the favor?" Kerry went about washing the dishes in the sink. Kim stood next to her for a minute before she picked up a towel and started drying the miscellaneous items. "You're still pissed at me."

Kerry whipped around and pointed what she had in her hand at Kim. Kim took a step back, mostly because Kerry had been washing a knife. "No, it would be so damn easy if I were, the favor was outing me to the entire ER and it was Sa...Sandy who did it. Sandy Lopez, Henry's mother."

"Oh."

Kerry turned back towards the sink and finished washing the knife, putting it to one side, "Yeah, oh. So, why are you really here?"

Kim took a step back towards the counter and picked up another thing to dry. "What's your favorite Christmas Song?" Kerry shrugged, apparently not minding the u-turn in the conversation. Kim tilted her head to one side and then the other. "For me it's Snoopy's Christmas. Christmas bells those Christmas bells; Ringing through the land; Bringing peace to all the world; And good will to man. You know..."

"Ah, oh..."

Kim smirked, "You expected me to say something like O Come All Ye Faithful, or O Holy Night, or Angels We Have Harked..."

"What?"

Kerry put down the final utensil to dry a bit and Kim kept smiling as she put down her towel, "Small family joke, sorry, Angels We Have Heard on High or Hark the Herald Angels Sing. Something along those lines?" They both moved back into the living room and Kerry shrugged as Kim took the chain and cross she almost always wore out and looked at it. She took it off and handed it to Kerry. "Read the back."

Kerry squinted, reached for her glasses and then squinted through them. "I can't quite read it. Seems to have been worn a little."

Kim took back the necklace and put it on, seemingly without thinking about it. "It says Mo Chroí, Daideo."

Kerry shook her head, "What does it mean?"

Kim smiled, "My heart, Grandpa... basically."

"What does this have to do with Snoopy? Or me for that matter Kim?"

Kim stood at the front window and looked out. "There's snow out there. I think it's snowing."

"It's Chicago Kim, it snows, a lot."

Kim nodded, "And your neighbors have nice lights out." She turned back towards the room, "This place really looks like a home now?"

Kerry raised an eyebrow, "It didn't before?"

Kim went over to the mantle and took down a statue that was made out of glass, "Last time I was here, I mean, it was sort of brief, but the last time I was here it was down on a table." Kim turned, "Over there."

Kerry followed Kim's gaze where there was no table. She thought for a second, "Henry ran into it, teeth first." Kerry shook her head, "That was a long night in the ER."

"County?" Kerry nodded, "You really are out."

"I'm going to pretend that you didn't say that."

Kim looked around until her eyes lit on the picture of Sandy, Henry, and Kerry that someone had snapped in the NICU. Kerry had put up half a complaint when Sandy suggested that they frame it, but it was one of her favorite pictures now. Kim went to pick it up, but Kerry was there in half a second and put her hand on Kim's arm. "Don't."

Kim frowned and turned, finding herself in very close proximity to Kerry. "Why?"

Kerry took her hand off of Kim's arm and went across the room, "Go home Kim. To wherever home is, just go."

Kim crossed her arms over her chest, "What if I can't." Before Kerry could say another word Kim kept going, "You moved on so well, you have a son, a partner..."

"No Sandy..."

Their words intermingled and the dissonance brought them both out of their funk to look up. "No? I mean, I wondered, why she wouldn't be here, on Christmas Eve, you loved... you love Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Epiphany, Twelfth Night. Hanukkah." Kim waited for at least a little chuckle, but didn't get one, "That was a joke." Kim looked around the room with a small smile, it looked as though one of Santa's elves had exploded. "It's like Christmas on speed in here..."

"She died."

Kim looked back over at Kerry, "Oh, I'm sorry."

Kerry shrugged, "How were you to know. I'm... it's never going to get better you know?" Kim nodded, she had held her brother as he had died. "She was a firefighter, she died doing what she loved."

"She's cute."

Kim looked up at Kerry with a cheeky grin and Kerry shook her head as a small smirk came to her face, "You mean to tell me you hadn't gone out with her? I'm amazed Kim."

Kim shrugged as well, "What can I say, until you, I don't really go for the short type. Makes kissing so much harder, y'all need ladders to get to me."

Kerry tilted her head to the side, "If you want something enough, you figure it out. Why did you show me your cross Kim, and Snoopy, why are you here?"

Kim paced one way, then turned on her heel and paced the other. "It'd be so much easier if I were dying or...something." Kerry met Kim's eyes, "I'm not. I'm in town to see my parents, my sister, the rest of my family. My mother said something about how County was better than ever with a Doctor Weaver as the Chief of Staff instead of the little turd. I knew that I still had a key, so I decided to do a little recon, and then...well, then you walked in..."

"...to my own home Kim. Let's keep that in mind."

Kim crossed her arms over her chest, "You should have a light implanted, tell the world when you're pissy and when you're human."

Kerry frowned, "I'm sorry, I didn't know that I was going to have company on Christmas Eve. Maybe you should have a phone implanted in your..."

Kim cleared her throat. "What are we doing?"

"I'm getting angry, what does it look like."

"Why?"

Kerry shook her head, "No, no psychobabble Kim. I'm angry because you're here, looking for something that I don't want to give."

"Don't want? Or are too scared to?"

Kerry leaned on her crutch and stared at Kim, "I'm Chief of Staff of County, I have a home, an extended family, I have Henry. Why would I voluntarily get back into a relationship with you?" Kim winced at these words. "What did we have? We would have a fight, get back together, have another misunderstanding and get back together, finally, we had one too many misunderstandings. It wouldn't be any different, and I just...I can't, I have to think of Henry now. Because he would like you, and you'd like him, and then when the next Shannon, or Alderman, or Christy, or whomever comes along and we split again, then what happens to him? No, for now..."

Kim made it across the room in two steps and planted a long, tender kiss on Kerry's lips. After a few moments Kerry pushed Kim away gently, "Kim..." she paused. "Now, I know something is going on?"

Kim shook her head, "It's stupid now that I think of it... I'm going to..."

As Kim turned to go get her jacket Kerry grabbed the collar of Kim's shirt, "Uh uh...I finally get to the bottom of everything and you leave, that...is the problem with our..." Kerry cleared her throat, "Was the problem with our relationship. Why did you come Kim. What's up?"

Kim went over to her bag and shuffled around in it for a few moments before she came up with her wallet. She took a picture out of it and handed it to Kerry. The red head blinked, she had seen a lot, and this was as bad as some of the worst she had seen. She looked up at Kim who had a haunted look on her face, "I've been through a hell of a lot in my life, some well, some not so well, but there is only one thing I regret in this life Kerry, the way we left things."

Kerry looked back down at the picture, "You were in this car?" Kim nodded, "What happened?"

Kim took a breath and sat down on the couch, Kerry paused for a moment before she came over and sat down next to the blonde. "A drunk driver crossed over the median. I was driving home, I can still see the whole thing, it's cemented into my brain. The crunch of the driver's side door as I went flying and hit the tree," Kim rubbed at her chest, in between her breasts, "The pain that wasn't just physical."

Kerry pushed Kim's hands aside and unbuttoned the shirt she was wearing. She blinked, "They cracked your chest?"

Kim took a deep breath, "I was dead." Kerry started to stand, but Kim put a hand on her own, "I was going to tell you my reason. I was, and then there was Henry, and then you... told me about Sandy. I..." Kim shook her head, "This was incredibly selfish of me to come, to..." Kerry put her hand on the scar. "Uh... Ker... not the..."

"Shush..."

Kim swallowed, and swallowed again until Kerry took her hand away and Kim buttoned her blouse. "I was wearing my seat belt, it saved my life, along with the air bag." Kim shook her head, "Now, I'm anal about it. Ker, I've never been anal retentive about anything in my life. I was driving a co-worker to work." Kerry raised an eyebrow and Kim rolled her eyes, "A guy thank you... I had this... this feeling like if we didn't wear seat belts... he looked at me as if I had three heads. You drive Henry in a seat, in the back, right?"

Kerry put a hand on Kim's shoulder, "I forgive you."

Kim put her own hand over Kerry's, "Thank you. I... I shouldn't have pushed you so much either."

Kerry shook her head, "I needed a push, I just wasn't ready for one, I never would have been ready for one, and you were too good of a Psychiatrist to give me one."

"Everyone has their own schedule to come out Ker, even if it is never."

Kerry raised her eyebrows, "But you, you were out fast?"

Kim shrugged, "Yeah, my parents were supportive, so the rest of the world, if they didn't like it, they could kiss my ass." Kerry let her breath out. "Sorry. I also..." Kim unconsciously crossed her arms over her chest, then it seemed as though she consciously uncrossed them and put them at her side. After a long pause she reached into her pocket and took a small piece of fabric out, "I... I'm also giving a piece to my parents. I... the guy thought I was insane, really insane that day, but I managed to convince him."

"The airbag?" Kim nodded and Kerry put a hand to her head, "Damnit Kim, go, just...go..." Kerry looked imploringly at Kim, "Please go, or I'm going to do something we both might regret."

Kim didn't move.

Kim blinked her eyes trying to clear out the sleep and took a look at the clock on the mantle, she stifled a groan, it was way too early. She frowned as she heard a thumping that she didn't recognize. Finally she shook her head, "A Chuisle." Kim looked up at the ceiling with a smile.

Kerry stirred, "Wha..."

Kim shushed Kerry, "Nothing Ker, just talking to myself. Sleep,"

Kerry snuggled in a little, "You din't go..."

Kim smiled, "Shh... sleep tonight. Tomorrow you have Christmas Day with a sugar addled child, you're gonna need it..."

Fin ~ December 23rd, 2005