Prologue
A long time ago in a galaxy far…oh, you know the deal.
We left our old friends back on Endor after the destruction of the Empire with the Ewoks. After much celebration, 'special' incense, many annoying songs, and too many hangovers to count, our heroes finally decided to get a life and start their new lives right where they were standing. Unfortunately there wasn't a house where they were standing, so it took a few arguments, some wood, nails, and paint to get it all done.
After a while Han and Leia decided that they wanted to get married.It took a few more arguments, a bitch-slap fight between Han and Luke, and an all-out battle between Luke and Leia before Luke was officially kicked out. Luke, however, was not much of a builder. While Han and Leia had their nice, large, fancy house, Luke lean-to with some pretty, but still rocks-rocks. Leia, after a week and a half—and after Luke caught a nasty cold—took pity on her poor brother and ended up giving him his own wing. They were all satisfied, and the Ewoks were very happy that they were satisfied—at least for a while.
Sure, they had their down-times, their up-times, and maybe even some more bitch-slap fights, but things were pretty alright.
Then Luke realized he was getting old. He was nearly 28! Han was wondering what the hell he complaining about, because he was nearly 33, while Leia freaked out about wrinkles.
"You're only halfway to middle-age!" was Han's exact wording. He was so furious he almost got into one of his rants again. The only thing that saved the poor Ewoks' ears was his complete confusion at the insanity of the Skywalker twins. They just shook their heads sadly.
Anyway, they are all living peaceful, happy lives, communing with nature, and occasionally hitting one another with a Force-propelled rock. There are also the very few territorial wars between the Ewoks. They were all too afraid of the crazy humans.
P.S. Chewbacca found two hot, female, twin Wookies and can't decide between them! This should be scary. After all, Wookies are animals….