Jack, wasn't it?
Yes, Jack- I think that was it. At least, what I went by. My initials were actually R. J. Haberly. My first name was Robin. Oh, Bats would laugh at that one. And the Boy Blunder too! Can you imagine- the Joker as Robin? Now that is rich. But then again, Robin Jackson Haberly could be a figment of my imagination. The Bat could be- and Robin too! I am known to be a bit cuckoo.
If I'm correct, Jack (me) had a wife named Jeannie, who was pregnant, and a job as an engineer at a chemical plant. But he- I- quit to pursue a job as a stand-up comedian. Yet, somehow, I- the Joker!- failed at stand-up comedy. And then I didn't kill those who mocked me! Sometimes I am appalled by my own mercy. With no money and a desperate wife, I turned to the lowly life of a criminal. No Joker Venom, no flowers spraying acid, no twisted bits of humor, only criminal-ism. My first job was working for two criminals whose names I forget. Er... Bob and Joe? Jim and Michael? For all I know, it could have been Bruce Wayne and Lex Luthor!
Anyways, I was assisting these two numbskulls in a robbery from my old employment center. We were still in the planning stage when I received the news that Jeannie was dead, as was the kid cooped up inside her. Killed by some messed-up cop. So, I have good reason to hate the law. If this is how it happened.
My past is full of ifs.
I tried to back out of the plan- no, really, I did- but was forced back in. But the moment we got into the chemical plant, we were met by security guards!
Random, huh?
A brief shooting ensured, the two crooks being killed, and I (being a genius) ran for my life. That's when I first saw Bats. He had showed up (quite late, I might add). I fled, jumped over a railing and landed in a vat of chemicals. It bleached my skin white, dyed my hair green, turned my lips red, and best of all stretched my mouth into a gigantic smile. Upon seeing myself I apparently lost my mind. Still, all ifs.
I mean, after, all, I have no clue about all of this. Sometimes I remember it one way, sometimes another... if I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice!
Author's Note: I don't see this as any way the "definite" Joker backstory- it's just one that I really liked, and the first one I ever heard. The ending line is a direct Joker quote. As you may have noticed, I didn'teven mention the Red Hood, because I wrote this last year before I knew Red Hood existed, and when I was just getting into Batman. Also, the backstory is tweaked from the one it's based on, as shown in two places. Care to guess where? This is my second fanfic, the other is New and Improved (Dramione). I'm working on a longer Batman Fanfic too, so follow me if you'd like updates on that and N&I! Please favorite, follow, and review.