Now and Then, a house, m.d. fanfic

A/N: This is a little...strange. Consider yourself warned. I hope you like it anyway!

Now and Then

Where the hell did he go? Allison Cameron thought, getting more and more annoyed by the moment. She walked along a deserted corridor in a remote corner of the hospital, peering into empty classrooms and broom closets, trying to locate the wayward Head of Diagnostics. She didn't think she had ever even been in this part of the hospital before. She'd been searching for House for the last hour, ever since he had failed to show up for his scheduled clinic duty. Why the hell did I ever agree to supervise the clinic today? Damn it, I should have checked the schedule before I agreed to do Cuddy a favour, she thought, shoving her blonde hair behind her ear. I bet she totally planned to be stuck in a meeting on one of his days! She rounded yet another corner and encountered yet another empty hallway. That's it! I'll just see the damned patients myself. Now how do I get back to the clinic? She stopped, turned around, and headed back the way she came. She was so irritated by this point that she wasn't really watching where she was going and as she turned the corner she ran into someone coming in the other direction. "God, watch where you're going..." she began, but stopped dead when she realized who she had run into.

XXXXXXXXXX

Where is he? Allison Cameron thought, getting more and more concerned by the moment. She walked along a deserted corridor in a remote part of the hospital, peering into empty classrooms and broom closets, trying to locate her wayward boss. She'd been searching for House for the last hour, ever since he had failed to show up for his scheduled clinic duty. What if he fell and hurt his leg and can't get up? Dr. Cuddy is so angry about him missing clinic, but I can't believe he'd really shirk his responsibilities for this long, she thought, shoving her dark brown hair behind her ear. Something must have happened to him. She rounded yet another corner and encountered yet another empty hallway. That's it! I've got to go get some more people to help me look. Now how do I get back to the office? She stopped, turned around, and headed back the way she came. She was so worried by this point that she wasn't really watching where she was going and as she turned the corner she ran into someone coming in the other direction. "Oh, I'm so sorry..." she began, but stopped dead when she realized who she had run into.

Herself.

"Wh...what are you doing here!" blurted blonde Cameron.

"I...I work here," answered brunette Cameron in a shaky voice. "Who are you? You look like...like..."

"You?" finished blonde Cameron. "I am you, or at least I was you. You're Season One Cameron, right?

"Well...yes, I suppose so. We're just in the middle of our first season..."

"Not here. Or...well...not where I thought here was. We're in the fifth season now. I'm Season Five Cameron."

"Season Five? What did you do to my hair!?" S1 Cameron asked in surprise. "I look so washed out!"

"You think? Season Four Cameron did it. I was actually thinking of changing it back."

"You really should," S1 Cameron said conversationally, before the strangeness of the situation reasserted itself. "Oh God! We're stuck in some kind of weird time vortex thing and we're talking about our hair! What are we going to do!?"

"Just give me a minute," S5 Cameron said, twirling a lock of her suddenly annoying blonde hair around her finger. "I assume you're trying to find House too?"

"Yes, and I'm really worried about him. He's been missing for over an hour."

S5 Cameron internally rolled her eyes at her younger self's naïveté. She didn't want to burst the girl's bubble, but she couldn't resist giving her a little warning. "Um, Allison? You need to watch yourself when it comes to House. He's not what you think."

"What do you mean?"

"Just...just try to see what's really there, okay? Not what you want to be there."

"I still don't know..."

S5 Cameron gave up. She's not going to listen to me. Would I have listened to me? Apparently not since, well, I'm not. She shook her head, getting confused by the pronouns. "Never mind. I think the only thing we can do is carry on with what we were doing and forget that we ever saw each other."

"You're right," S1 Cameron agreed. "And we'd better not tell anyone about this if we don't want to be DDXed to death."

"That's for sure," the other Cameron concurred, glad that she could agree with herself on at least one subject. "So, I'm just going to go this way now. It's been really...interesting...seeing you again. Um, good luck with, ah, whatever," she said cautiously, not wanting to upset the girl. If she knew what the other seasons and I had done to her life, she'd be horrified.

"Yeah, thanks," S1 Cameron replied. "I guess I'll see you again in four years. Bye." She waved and headed down the hallway.

Well technically you'll be me in four years, but whatever. S5 Cameron turned and headed in the opposite direction. That was really bizarre.

XXXXXXXXXX

S5 Cameron felt like she had been walking the dimly-lit empty corridors for hours. Fortunately, she hadn't run into herself again, but unfortunately, she hadn't run into anyone else either. Just as she was starting to question her sanity, she heard a familiar step-thump coming from somewhere nearby.

"House! House! Are you there?" she yelled.

"Cameron!" came the response. "Stay where you are and keep talking. Something really strange is going on here."

"You don't know the half of it!" she said as he rounded the corner. "I have never been so happy to see anyone in my entire life."

"Ah, yeah, ditto." He stopped and looked at her quizzically. "Did you do something to your hair since this morning?"

"My hair...Oh! Damn it, you're not my House!"

"Huh?" He looked at her like she'd lost her mind.

She sighed. "You're Season One House, aren't you?"

"Well, duh. We're still in our first season."

Déjà vu, she thought. Didn't I just have this conversation? "Not where I'm from," she said. "I'm Season Five Cameron."

"Is that right?" he asked, walking over to her and feeling her forehead.

"Stop it," she said, swatting his hand away. "I'm not sick. We're in some kind of weird time vortex thing," she explained, unconsciously parroting her younger self.

"Really? That's so...unbelievably cool! How did this happen?"

"I have no idea. All I know is that I've been wandering around for hours and I don't think it's unbelievably cool at all. I think it's unbelievably annoying. I'm tired; I'm sitting down." She leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor.

"Okay, well a rest might not be a bad idea," he agreed, rubbing his thigh. He awkwardly sat down beside her. "So...what's been going on around here for the last four years?"

She looked over at him and suddenly the reality (unreality?) of the situation washed over her. Here, sitting right beside her, was the man she had fallen in love with practically the day she had met him. Actually him! Not the older, more cynical, more...broken...version of him that existed in her time. And he wanted to know what had happened in the last four years. How can I tell him, she thought. How can I explain all the terrible things that have happened to him over the last four years? The shooting, the ketamine, Tritter. The accident. Amber and Wilson. Tears flooded her eyes and she looked away, unable to meet his gaze.

"Cameron. Cameron, look at me," he commanded in the strong, sure voice she remembered so well. "Whatever it is, it can't be that bad can it? Tell me."

She met his eyes then and, through her tears, haltingly told him about all the torment that life had brought him...will bring him. He sat, silently and stoically, and listened to her speak, seemingly unsurprised that life would continue to treat him with the same disregard it always had. When she finished, she hesitantly reached over and laid her hand over his. "Maybe now that you know, you can avoid some of it," she suggested softly.

"Maybe," he said, not sounding very hopeful. "And what about you?" he asked, squeezing her hand. "Are you happy? Did we manage to stay together though that mess you just described?"

"Together? House we were never together," she said sadly.

"What? But I was so sure...I know I was dragging my feet. I was...afraid, I guess. But the one time we went out went so well, I thought for sure that someday..."

"The one time we went out? House, you were horrible to me that night! You said I was treating you like some kind of charity case. It was awful."

"What are you talking about? We went to the monster truck rally. I thought you had fun. I thought..."

"The truck rally? When was that? For you I mean?"

"Just a couple of weeks ago." Suddenly, he understood. "We went out again after that, didn't we? And I...hurt you. I ruined it, like I ruined everything else in my life." He let go of her hand and rubbed his face.

"Yes," she whispered. "I never thought you cared. Eventually I moved on. I quit working for you at the end of Season 3; we don't see each other much anymore."

He stared at her for a long moment before speaking again. "Do you still...care for me, Cameron?"

"For you? The you that is sitting beside me right now? Yes." She shook her head sadly. "But that you doesn't exist anymore, not for me."

"Yes, I do," he said firmly. "And I'm not going back. I don't want to live the life you just told me about, and I don't want to hurt you. I'm staying here."

XXXXXXXXXX

S1 Cameron felt like she had been walking the dimly-lit empty corridors for hours. Fortunately, she hadn't run into herself again, but unfortunately, she hadn't run into anyone else either. Just as she was starting to question her sanity, she heard a familiar step-thump coming from somewhere nearby.

"House! House! Are you there?" she yelled.

"Cameron!" came the response. "Stay where you are and keep talking. Something really strange is going on here."

"You don't know the half of it!" she said as he rounded the corner. "I have never been so happy to see anyone in my entire life."

"I never thought I'd say this but, ditto." He stopped and looked at her quizzically. "Hey, what happened to the blonde? You don't look like a hooker anymore."

"A hooker?" she asked, sounding hurt. Then understanding dawned. "Oh! You're not my House!"

"Huh?" He looked at her like she'd lost her mind.

She sighed. "You're Season Five House, right?"

"Duh...Wait, you're not a blonde anymore because...you never were? You look even younger than usual...you're Season One Cameron, aren't you?" he accused.

"Yes," she answered. "I don't really understand what's going on. I think we're in some kind of time vortex thing."

"Really? That's so...unbelievably cool! How did this happen?"

"Okay, well a rest might not be a bad idea," he agreed, rubbing his thigh. He awkwardly sat down beside her. "So...don't you want to know what's been going on around here for the last four years?"

"No."

"No?"

"No. If life goes well for me, I'd rather just enjoy it as it happens. If things don't go so well, I'd rather not have to worry about it in advance." She shrugged.

"I'd forgotten how hopeful you used to be. You lost that somewhere along the way," he said in voice tinged with the slightest bit of sadness.

"Hey...I said I don't want to know!"

"Right. Sorry." They sat in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. House considered the compassionate, caring young woman sitting beside him. I'd forgotten how striking she was, he thought. Not that he found her any less attractive in the current season, but back then the optimism she displayed in spite of the tragedy in her life had lent a certain otherworldliness to her beauty. I didn't do right by her. There was a time when he believed she could be it...the woman who could save him from his self-imposed loneliness. And maybe he could save her just a little too. But shortly thereafter, the self-destructive side of him decided that he didn't want or deserve saving. And so he had shoved her away, did his damnedest to kill any feelings for him that she may have had. Too bad I was successful, he thought, because I could sure use some saving now.

Blissfully unaware of the dismal musings of the man beside her, Cameron was thinking about the vague warning her future self had given her. "House?"

"Yeah?" he answered, pulling himself out of his reverie.

"I saw myself earlier."

"What, like in a mirror?"

"No, I mean I saw Season 5 Cameron. While I was wandering around looking for a way out of here."

"Whoa...this just gets cooler and cooler! I wonder if Season One me is around here somewhere." I'd like to tell that guy a thing or two.

"I don't know, maybe. But House, she...she warned me to be careful around you, that you weren't what I thought. What do you think she meant by that."

He sighed. "I suppose she meant that I...that he, Season One me, would hurt you. The way I hurt her."

"He will? You did?"

"Yeah." He rubbed his face with his hands. "But know this. I regret it. I regret it more than you could ever imagine."

"Oh House..." She slid around until she was facing him. She reached over and took his hand. "I believe you. Whenever you...he...does whatever he's going to, I'll remember this."

He stared at her for a long moment before placing his hand over hers and pulling her to him. He proceeded to kiss her with every bit of long-ignored passion he had. When they broke apart he said firmly, "You won't have to remember, because he's not going to do that to you. I'm going back with you. I'm going to do it right this time."

XXXXXXXXXX

Cuddy walked down a hall of a seldom used section of the hospital looking for her two wayward doctors. I expect this kind of behaviour from House, but I can't believe Cameron would leave me in a lurch like that. I guess he's rubbed off on her. She turned one more corner and found the two of them sitting on the floor of the hallway, of all places.

"There you two are! House get up off your ass and get to the clinic. Cameron, I'm very disappointed in you. Both of you now owe me an extra twenty clinic hours this month."

Ignoring her, House said to Cameron, "She's not mine."

"No, she's mine," Cameron answered.

"What? What are you talking about?" Cuddy asked.

"Oh, nothing, Dr. Cuddy. We didn't mean to disappear, honestly. We kind of got lost. We don't know how to get back to the main part of the hospital," Cameron explained.

"Right. You'll have to do better than that. Come on." She turned and started back down the hall the way she came.

House and Cameron looked at each other and shrugged. They got to their feet and followed Cuddy. Approximately three minutes and five turns later they found themselves just outside the brightly-lit clinic.

Cuddy turned back and looked at them. "Yes, I see now why it was so hard to find your way back," she said sarcastically.

"Yep, you caught us," House confessed. "I was slacking off and I dragged her down with me. Bad House!" He slapped his fingers with his other hand. "Well, I'm off to work," he said cheerfully. "Cameron, I'll...see you later?"

"Yes," she said with a smile. "Definitely."

Cameron turned and headed in the direction of her department while House opened the glass door and entered the clinic. Cuddy watched him as he went. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something different about him. And he seems almost...happy to be here? She shook her head and followed him into the clinic. Better make sure he actually checks in.

The End