This story used to be named 'Sex Slaves' but I was worried that FF wouldn't accept such a blatant title.

Anyway, this is an AU, and I actually really hate those. The reason I wrote this is because it was originally a graphic novel short that I wrote and even began designing, but sadly my artistic talents are laughable at best. But I really liked the story, so I put it into word format, at which I am semi-confident of producing.

Whilst this story seems to mostly focus on my favourite subject - Rimmer/Lister slash - I actually wrote this with the Cat mostly in mind. I have a few unfinished fanfictions, most of which won't ever be finished, with the Cat as the main character and I always end up getting bored or throwing R/L slash into it for no reason. So to make up for it, I've given the Cat a proper sub-plot. And a teensy bit of a nice personality. Almost. When he feels like it.

Chapter One - Cat

In the land of Felisanya there was a handsome young man who became King purely by a twist of fate. The previous King's wife failed to produce a son by him before his untimely death in battle. After much argument amongst the High Council, the eldest son of the King (via one of his many concubines) was chosen as the most suitable heir. The son, imaginatively named Cat, was crowned King at a mere thirteen-years-old, and there began his life of physical indulgence. By the age of twenty-one he had acquired over a hundred concubines himself, and very likely several lovers not officially announced.

"And yet you say you're bored?" the King's head concubine huffed, rolling over in his bed to reach for a chalice of water.

"Aw, baby! Don't take it personally," Cat grinned. Kristine was by far his favourite lover and was treated so well by the other concubines and slaves that she was almost as egotistical as him, and she made no effort to disguise that she felt almost equal to him in status. Still, he let her get away with it. "I just… I don't know," Cat sighed. "There's just something missing lately. I've tried cats, humans, elves. If this goes on I may have to try a dog."

"Well, I've tried everything, Your Majesty. I'm sorry to disappoint you."

He ignored her biting tone and gave her a playful kiss. "C'mon baby, let's go on up to the throne hall now. The Council's been banging on about me collecting my gift."

"Gift?"

"Some slave from Britannia. I've told them I'm not interested in starting a war with them but they keep sending this crap over to keep us at bay."

"It's because of your father," said Kristine, dressing slowly as she never really looked forward to these events. It always involved a group of boring Lords and the suchlike dribbling over her and the other girls while the King sat on his throne pretending to be thrilled by all the peace-offerings from all the poor and war-fearing countries around the world. Before, under their previous ruler, they had been a tyrannical nation, taking over all the countries that they could and destroying morale and wealth wherever they went. But the new King couldn't care less about war. If it didn't make him prettier or younger, he didn't feel the need to know about it.

Nevertheless, Felisanya's reputation remained and they had to endure the parades of presents fairly often.

"I hope they sent a decent slave this time. The last one was arthritic and half-deaf."

"Oh, no, this one is far worse." The King chuckled to himself and gestured Kristine out to the hallway. "He's a musician!"

King Cat smiled and nodded, disguising his yawns with his robe, as the simpering High Council's figurehead, a fox named Ĉasisto, made his announcement. "Your Royal Majesty, King Cat, is presented with David Lister of Britannia!" was almost drowned out by fanfare and the King wasn't impressed by the man he saw being dragged in by the Royal Guards.

"Whoo, this is posh innit?" the slave exclaimed, surveying the hall.

"Lower your eyes when you're before your superior!" Cat snapped and the slave looked at the floor, grinning. King Cat huh? he thought. His mother couldn't afford a Baby-Name book?

King Cat observed the slave without much fascination. Stocky build, strange hair matted into little curly dreadlocks. And not terribly intelligent it seemed. "What's your name again, buddy?" asked the King, in his typical informal manner that made the Lords cringe.

"David Lister, Your Majesty." Grin.

"And why did the Queen of Britannia send you?"

"They had to send something and I was just lying around gathering dust, Your Majesty."

King Cat's brow furrowed and although he was annoyed by David's disregard for authority, he was slightly amused too. It had been a long time since a person had truly interested him. Still, he had to put on a good show of authority in front of the Lords. "Arnelle! Send him to the 'Waiting Room' until I make up my mind what to do with him." David felt the Guards release his shackles and a cold hand take his arm and lead him out of the hall.