[PALACE 1 opened PALADIN ALTEAN CHANNEL]
[PALACE 1 activated PALACE 2]
PALACE 2: Ah, Princess! I see you have managed to find the old paladin communication channel!
PALACE 1: Yes. It took some time, but the data logs are still backed up in some of the old systems. I thought it would be wise to start up the channel.
PALACE 2: A wonderful discovery and decision, indeed. However, may I express some minor concerns?
PALACE 1: Of course, Coran. Your assistance is always valued.
PALACE 2: Thank you, your highness. I'm only wondering whether we should brief the paladins on the proper usage of the communication channel.
PALACE 1: Whatever do you mean?
PALACE 2: I've heard rumors, Princess, of former paladins abusing this channel for strange purposes.
PALACE 1: Strange in what way?
PALACE 2: Oh, just jokes, amusement. Nothing harmful, but not strictly Voltron related.
PALACE 1: Coran, I am sure our paladins will recognize the significance and importance of such a communication channel. I have full faith in their abilities to use this for proper communication.
PALACE 2: Well, if you trust them, I cannot see any harm.
PALACE 1: Of course. I believe their communicators can be found somewhere in their dormitories. I'll activate them to seek out their location.
[PALACE 1 activated BLACK, BLUE, YELLOW, GREEN, RED]
GREEN: what is this
PALACE 1: Pidge! Is that you? Do you have your communicator?
GREEN: you mean this triangle phone that fell from my ceiling and onto my face
PALACE 1: Yes, that would be your communicator.
GREEN: wait
GREEN: is this some sort of group chat?
GREEN: paladin altean channel?
PALACE 2: Yes! Ages ago, paladins would use this channel for emergency communication. Princess Allura has managed to find the old data logs in the computer systems.
GREEN: huh
PALACE 1: Wonderful, the computer is showing that all the communicators are accounted for.
RED: Why did a triangle fall on my face.
GREEN: hi keith
RED: How do you know my name? Who are you? What do you want?
GREEN: i'm zarkon
GREEN: i'm here for all your robot lions that form one giant lion man
RED: Voltron?
GREEN: no the other one
BLUE: yoooo group chat!
YELLOW: Hey everybody!
BLUE: the keypads on these things are super weird.
BLUE: i need more room for my delicate fingers.
GREEN: you mean your freakishly long fingers?
BLUE: you know what they say about ppl with long fingers…;)
GREEN: that their bodies are compensating for something?
BLUE: …
BLUE: rude.
YELLOW: lol
RED: I don't get it.
GREEN: i'll tell you when you're older
BLACK: This is labeled as a Voltron communication channel.
BLACK: I'm assuming this has something to do with the paladins?
RED: Who's Palace 1 and Palace 2? What is all of this about?
PALACE 1: This is Allura. PALACE 2 is Coran, and the colors are their respective paladins. This channel is for emergency communication between the palace and Voltron.
RED: Oh.
RED: Okay.
BLUE: you have such a way with words.
RED: Thank you.
BLUE: o h mygod
BLACK: Is this channel only for emergencies?
PALACE 1: Technically, yes. I think it would also be useful for general communication while on missions.
GREEN: didn't the garrison have a group chat?
YELLOW: Yeah, Lance got banned
RED: Why?
YELLOW: He sent a nude
BLUE: i did NOT
YELLOW: The whole garrison saw it
GREEN: oh yeah i remember that
RED: What's a nude?
GREEN: lance can show you
BLUE: ok FIRST of all
BLUE: it wasn't a nude, it was literally just a shirtless picture.
GREEN: a pretty spicy shirtless picture
YELLOW: Yeah
BLUE: and SECONDLY it was an accident, i meant to send it to a girl.
BLUE: and, like, two guys.
RED: Guys?
YELLOW: I think they saw it
BLUE: yes i know everybody saw it because i sent it in the group chat haha you're so funny
YELLOW: I try
RED: Wait, he wanted to send it to girls and guys?
YELLOW: Yup, he's not exactly subtle
BLUE: and THIRDLY
BLUE: keith how the fuck do you not know what a nude is?
RED: I left the garrison, remember?
GREEN: he was literally living under a rock
RED: No, I was living in a shed in the desert.
GREEN: dude
BLACK: Don't tease Keith about his life choices.
BLUE: we're not. that's what's so great.
BLUE: it just sounds like we are, because his life choices are so sad.
YELLOW: Says the guy who showed the entire garrison his nipples
BLUE: A PRIVILEGED SIGHT INDEED
YELLOW: Besides, Keith's shack was pretty cool
RED: Thank you, Hunk.
YELLOW: He had a lot of band posters, I saw one called moth man
RED: Wait.
RED: Yes.
RED: Band posters.
RED: Because Mothman is a band.
RED: And not a lifelong dream.
BLUE: lol what
[GREEN changed name to PIDGE]
YELLOW: Woah! How did you do that?
Pidge: it's in the settings
Pidge: press the hexagon button
[YELLOW changed name to HUNK]
[RED changed name to KEITH]
[BLACK changed name to SHIRO]
[BLUE changed name to Space Cowboy]
HUNK: Lance
Space Cowboy: let a man dream.
SHIRO: Lance.
Space Cowboy: ugh fine
[Space Cowboy changed name to LANCE]
LANCE: happy?
PIDGE: whipped
LANCE: shut up.
PALACE 2: Should we change our names as well?
SHIRO: It might be helpful.
[PALACE 2 changed name to CORAN]
[PALACE 1 changed name to ALLURA]
LANCE: yay! i like this, it's fun
ALLURA: This is not for fun, exactly. This channel is for the good of Voltron. It's incredibly secure, but nevertheless, anything you share here might be compromised.
SHIRO: The Princess makes a good point. No fooling around, you guys.
PIDGE: ugh
LANCE: laaaame
KEITH: What secret information would we be sharing on here, anyways?
KEITH: It's not like Zarkon is going to be interested in pictures of Lance's nipples.
LANCE: how do you know?
LANCE: my nipples are universal, baby.
KEITH: That doesn't make sense.
LANCE: you don't make sense
HUNK: Allura, what about bonding?
ALLURA: Bonding?
HUNK: Yeah, back on Earth, friends would have chat groups with each other
HUNK: To share moments and stuff
HUNK: It's sort of like team building
CORAN: How intriguing!
ALLURA: And you think that this communication channel could be used for such team bonding?
HUNK: Why not?
LANCE: yeah, we're all about bonding, right keith?
KEITH: Don't talk to me.
PIDGE: i think it's a good idea
PIDGE: sometimes it's easier to talk about stuff in a chat vs in person
SHIRO: That's a very good point.
CORAN: I'm always amazed by the extent to which humans will find ways to initiate social contact in otherwise unsocial settings! Keith is a perfect example of this.
KEITH: Uh, thanks?
CORAN: This could be a very interesting experience!
ALLURA: Well, I suppose I can't see any serious harm.
LANCE: WOOO! GROUP CHAT!
PIDGE: squad
HUNK: Squaaaaad
KEITH: What does that mean?
HUNK: Like a group of friends
KEITH: Oh.
KEITH: That's…sort of nice.
LANCE: aww guys keith is blushing
KEITH: I'm not!
LANCE: you totally are.
LANCE: you big softy you.
PIDGE: /whisper [LANCE]
PIDGE: careful lance, your crush is showing
LANCE: wtf pidge how did you do that
KEITH: Do what?
PIDGE: heheheh
LANCE: wait i got it
LANCE: /whisper [PIDGE]
KEITH: Whisper?
LANCE: i don't know what you're talking about
PIDGE: hmm
PIDGE: was it back in the garrison when you said
PIDGE: "that guy in the mullet can thread my needle any day"
KEITH: Is something happening?
HUNK: They're whispering to each other
KEITH: Oh.
KEITH: They can do that?
LANCE: you can't hold that against me, i was foolish and young
PIDGE: that was literally a year ago
HUNK: Yeah it's a whisper function, like "/whisper [insert name]"
ALLURA: Ooo I have never seen that function before!
LANCE: pidge you little shit you KNOW i can't be held accountable for my feelings
LANCE: wait that wasn't whispered
HUNK: Feelings?
SHIRO: Guys, we shouldn't be swearing on here.
LANCE: whaaaaat?
PIDGE: why not?
SHIRO: Well, for one thing, it's rude. Allura and Coran are present.
ALLURA: And you're assuming we're averse to swearing?
SHIRO: Oh. Are you?
ALLURA: I find I don't mind it. It can actually be quite amusing.
CORAN: As well as illuminating! Such colorful contexts and feelings behind phrases!
LANCE: yeah shiro, they don't mind
SHIRO: We are protectors of the galaxy. We are held to a certain degree of respect.
LANCE: the universe can respect bofa
HUNK: NO
SHIRO: Bofa?
KEITH: What.
HUNK: Lance I swear to god
ALLURA: What is a bofa?
HUNK: Lance
LANCE: …
LANCE: i can't
LANCE: it's too easy
HUNK: I hate you
PIDGE: lmao
SHIRO: All I'm asking is that this chat remains clean. No dirty jokes or phrases, no swearing.
KEITH: You have to know that isn't going to work.
LANCE: yeah, fuck the police
HUNK: COMING STRAIGHT FROM THE UNDERGROUND
PIDGE: hunk, have i ever told you that i love you?
HUNK: 3
SHIRO: Come on, I'm not trying to be the bad guy here.
KEITH: Quote of the day.
HUNK: Quote of the century
LANCE: let lance say fuck
PIDGE: #letlancesayfuck
SHIRO: You see, this is exactly what I'm talking about.
[SHIRO changed name to No Fun for No One]
No Fun for No One: Okay, I didn't do that.
LANCE: looooooool
CORAN: I believe someone got into the systems.
KEITH: Pidge.
CORAN: How?!
PIDGE: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
PIDGE: i'm a girl of many skills
HUNK: Pidge voice: I'm in
KEITH: Haha
No Fun for No One: Alright, very funny.
LANCE: though somehow not as funny as keith typing "haha"
KEITH: Let me LIVE.
No Fun for No One: Please change it back.
HUNK: Fun's over.
ALLURA: I actually think it's rather funny!
LANCE: BURN
PIDGE: （゜◇゜）
LANCE: ROYAL BURN
KEITH: Nice.
No Fun for No One: …
ALLURA: Ooo Pidge how did you make those faces?
PIDGE: !
PIDGE: it's called an emoticon!
PIDGE: i can send you the little keyboard i'm making!
ALLURA: Oh, thank you!
LANCE: /whisper [PIDGE]
LANCE: careful pidge, your crush is showing
PIDGE: shut up shut up SHUT UP
HUNK: Man, I love emoticons
HUNK: So pure
HUNK: So innocent
ALLURA: 凸ಠ益ಠ)凸
HUNK: Oh My
LANCE: lmao allura goes OFF
KEITH: Is it
KEITH: Is it flipping me off?
ALLURA: Oops, my apologies, wrong one.
ALLURA: (´∀｀)
HUNK: Aww, cute!
ALLURA: I know!
KEITH: Pidge, could you send me that keyboard?
PIDGE: sure thing
No Fun for No One: Alright, you guys can swear and let off steam and do whatever you want, I'm sorry.
PIDGE: oh yeah, sorry shiro
No Fun for No One: It's fine, it's my fault, probably just my military training kicking in.
No Fun for No One: I don't want any of you to feel as though I'm limiting you.
LANCE: …
LANCE: sure
PIDGE: i'll fix it, one sec
[No Fun for No One changed name to SHIRO]
SHIRO: Thank you, Pidge.
PIDGE: no problemo
KEITH: I found an emoticon thingie I like.
HUNK: Oooo let's see
KEITH: (◡‿◡✿)
KEITH: He's happy. At peace.
PIDGE: this is great
SHIRO: That's nice, Keith.
ALLURA: Yes! That's a very nice face!
CORAN: Oh, how amazing! Little faces made out of text!
PIDGE: coran would you like the keyboard?
CORAN: I think I would!
PIDGE: you know what, i'll just share it with the whole group
KEITH: Good idea.
ALLURA: This is splendid, I love all this bonding!
HUNK: /whisper [LANCE]
HUNK: Hey, you okay dude?
HUNK: You got pretty quiet there
LANCE: yeah i'm fine
LANCE: at least no different from usual
HUNK: Oh
HUNK: You know I'm always here for you, right?
LANCE: yeah
HUNK: If you want to talk about anything
LANCE: …
HUNK: Or not
HUNK: We could hang out in my room and play that altean chess game
HUNK: I'll let you cheat
LANCE: yeah
LANCE: that sounds good
HUNK: Good
LANCE: luv ya, bro
HUNK: luv ya too, bro
:
:
:
[KEITH opened PALADIN ALTEAN CHANNEL]
KEITH: /whisper [HUNK]
KEITH: Hunk?
KEITH: Are you awake?
[HUNK opened PALADIN ALTEAN CHANNEL]
HUNK: I am now
KEITH: Oh.
KEITH: Am I doing this whisper function correctly?
HUNK: Uh yeah
HUNK: Dude, it's the middle of the night
KEITH: Oh.
KEITH: I'm sorry, I'll let you sleep.
HUNK: No it's fine, do you need to talk?
KEITH: It's nothing, really.
KEITH: I was…wondering something about Lance.
KEITH: But it's fine, I'm just tired. Forget it.
HUNK: No no no! What is it?
HUNK: I'm fully awake now, dude, tell me what it is
KEITH: …Okay.
KEITH: Do you remember earlier when we were talking about Lance sending nudes to the garrison?
HUNK: Oh yeah
HUNK: Did we ever tell you what a nude was? Do you want to know?
KEITH: Uh.
KEITH: I'm pretty sure I figured it out.
HUNK: Oh
HUNK: lol
KEITH: I just wanted to know,
KEITH: Well.
KEITH: Lance sort of mentioned that he meant to send the nudes to a girl,
KEITH: And two guys.
HUNK: Oh. Yeah.
KEITH: Yeah.
HUNK: …
HUNK: OH
HUNK: OH YEAH
HUNK: Oh god I'm an idiot lol okay yeah
KEITH: Um?
HUNK: Soooo
HUNK: Keith.
HUNK: What do you want to know? :)))
KEITH: Did he, like,
KEITH: Did he mean to send it to those guys? As a joke?
HUNK: Nope, that was intentional
KEITH: So…
KEITH: Okay maybe I shouldn't be asking this, this is like, probably super personal.
HUNK: No, dude, it's fine
HUNK: Trust me, Lance would be 100% ok with this
HUNK: He gave me permission to talk about it with other people, like this
HUNK: He doesn't exactly hide it
KEITH: Oh.
KEITH: So he likes boys?
HUNK: And girls
HUNK: He's bi, and very proud of it :)
KEITH: I see.
HUNK: Does that
HUNK: Does that make you uncomfortable?
KEITH: What? No!
KEITH: No! Of course not!
KEITH: I'm totally okay with that!
KEITH: It's fine! It's totally fine! I mean, there's not even the option for it NOT to be fine! Why would it not be fine?!
HUNK: lol Calm down dude, I get it
KEITH: Okay.
KEITH: Cool.
KEITH: Yeah.
HUNK: Cooool
HUNK: Any reason why you wanted to know?
KEITH: Nope!
KEITH: Just curious.
KEITH: Trying to get to know my teammates better.
KEITH: And stuff.
HUNK: lmao Okay
HUNK: You know
HUNK: You could always talk to Lance about it
KEITH: Maybe.
KEITH: I'm tired.
HUNK: Yeah dude, get some rest
KEITH: You won't tell Lance about this, right?
HUNK: Don't worry bro, I gotchu
KEITH: Uh, thanks? I think?
KEITH: Goodnight.
HUNK: Goodnight!
LANCE: hunk why the fuck are you private chatting keith at 1:30 in the fucking morning?
SHIRO: Language.
LANCE: mama la pinga
HUNK: Don't worry about it, go back to sleep