Warning: If crack-filled randomness isn't your cup of tea, please skip to the next chapter! That's where the oneshots officially start. If not, read on!
Petaltail: Hello my beloved readers! Today I have decided to start a new crossover for FMA and Hetalia. And for the readers of my other story, RRR is gonna be updated soon, I sware! As the summary stated, this will be a series of oneshots for each character pair, or matches of an assorted bunch with the same voice actor, encountering each other. Whether it be an AU or from a failed magic attempt by Britain-
Britain: Hey! My magic happens to be-
Petaltail: Number one in the world, yada yada yada. Stupid America's no match for you, we get it.
Britain: How did you know I was going to say that?
Petaltail: Duh, I'm phsycic.
Britain: Oh, really?
Petaltail: Nah, just kiddin'.*makes a trollface* But I did memorize your lines from episode 13 when you summoned Russia. They were and I quote: *coughs in preparation and speaks in fake-ass British accent* Dammit! Since I was interrupted before I'll do it at my place this time. Our family's magic is number one in the world. You're no match for me, stupid America. Santo Rita Mita Meada Ringo Jonah Tito Marlon, Jack La Toya Janet Michael Dumbledora the Explora. *repeats chant part again cuz she's too lazy to copy and paste* I've summoned you from the depths of hell. Show yourself!
Britain: That was simply the worst British accent I've ever heard in my life! First you insult my magic skills and now you mock me? How rude! It's no surprise you're from America.
America: *in the middle of slurping a milkshake* Hey! What's that supposed to mean? She sounded just like you to me! At least she could remember all those words you chanted and crap. And why the hell did you mention the Jackson 5 in your chant anyway? I get the Harry Potter reference cuz he's from England or whatever but what up with all the other stuff?
Edward: Could you guys just stop arguing? I've had enough of you two in the last fanfiction! When this guy *points to America* bashed through the damn door and landed his fu-
Petaltail: *puts hand over Ed's mouth* Stop!
Edward: What?
Petaltail: You were about to say, *shifts eyes around* the f word. This is rated T y'know! And I plan on it staying that way!
Edward: I was gonna say fudging! Sheesh...
Petaltail: Oh, that's okay then. Proceed.
Edward: Okaay...fudging plane in Arthur's front yard! Happy?
Petaltail: Yes, yes I am. Oh, how I just love fourth-wall breaking. But Ed's right, you two! Stop fighting! And Britain, you don't even have an FMA voice actor counterpart so you have no purpose in my future oneshots except for being a stupid plot device. Now be gone! *snaps fingers*
Britain: *disappears*
Allies: Uhh, where'd he go?
Petaltail: *gets hands in snapping position* Do you really want to know?
All Allies except for Russia: *shake their heads no*
Russia: I do. The only person I'm scared of is Belarus, so you don-
Petaltail: *snaps*
Russia: *disappears*
Mustang: *raises hand* Ooh! Ooh! I know! I know what you did! You used flame alchemy and disintegrated them, didn't you?
Belarus: *kneeling on the ground next to where Russia disappeared* NOOO! My precious big brother! Why? Ruusssiaaa!
China: Well, at least that means he won't be stalking me anymore, aru.
Petaltail: No I didn't! Did you guys see any flames or ashes! I wouldn't kill anyone, let alone two countries like, somewhere in the top 5 of my fave Hetalia characters.
Everyone: So, where'd they go?
Petaltail: My inner conscience. They'll probably be scarred for life after coming out of that hellhole. Well, maybe not Russia, but definitely Britain. If he thinks what France did during the recreation of the Olympics when he tried forcing him into nudity was scarring, oh he hasn't seen nothing yet!
Everyone: *backs away*
Petaltail: So wait, what was I talking about again before I was so rudely interrupted?
Alphonse: *raises hand timidly* Uhh, something about oneshots that had us encountering characters with the same dubbed voice actor.
Petaltail: Oh yeah! Thanks Al! Take a cookie! *hands Al a cookie*
Alphonse: But I'm a soul in a suit of armor. I can't eat cookies, or anything really.
Petaltail: Oh yeah. *takes back cookie* Well, how about when your oneshot comes around and using my awesome (sorry Prussia!) authoress powers you'll be a ten-year-old again and then you can have the cookie!
Alphonse: Yay! Cookie!
America: Hey author lady, can I have Alphonse's cookie since he can't eat it now?
Petaltail: No-can-do, Alfred. You didn't earn it like Al did.
America: But my name can be Al too! Al-fred.
Petaltail: Yeah, but you're not Al-phonse. So no cookie for you!
America: Awww.
Voice in Petaltail's Head: Shut up, you wanker!
America: What the? *gets closer to voice*
Voice: Aaaahhh! Get away from me you demon creatures! Russia! Stop making friends with them and help me, dammit!
America: *grabs and rattles Petaltail's head* Iggy! Is that you in there?
Petaltail: Hey! Get off of my head you idiot! And stop yelling in my ear! Sheesh, I was going to give you a cookie in my oneshot for you as a birthday present, but after that little show you put on I don't think so.
America: What? So what's-his-face gets a cookie when his birthday comes and I won't?
Canada: I'm Canada. Why doesn't anyone remember me?
Petaltail: I remember you Matthew! *glomps Canada* And I love that you finally got a character song; it's so cute! But gosh you're so quiet!
Edward: So I'm guessing he's on your top 5 Hetalia character list?
Petaltail: Uh-huh! The very top! *gets off Canada and starts brushing self off* Along with Russia, America, Greece, and Britain, Japan being a close sixth.
Canada: Wait a second. Are all of your chapters going to be in this format with you doing stuff like this to us?
Petaltail: Great question, my dear Matthew. And fortunately the answer is no. This is just an introduction to my series of oneshots I'm going to write, which will be in normal formatting. Originally this was to be supposed to be a birthday gift for you and your brother with me just writing one oneshot with you two and Kimblee. But I thought it would be more fun if I did this for everyone! In fact, I researched all of the English voice actors and got this so far:
Edward Elric/Greece
Alphonse Elric (in Brotherhood)/Sealand
Alfons Heiderich/Iceland
Ling Yao/Italy
Scar (Brotherhood)/France
Scar's Brother(Brotherhood)/Sweden
Major Armstrong/Roman Empire
Riza Hawkeye and Rose/Chibi!Romano
Solf J. Kimblee/America and Canada
Jean Havoc/Estonia
Trisha Elric and Sloth (2003 series)/Ukraine
Barry the Chopper/Russia
Shou Tucker/Austria
Nina Tucker/Chibitalia
Sig Curtis/Cuba
Dorochet/Switzerland
Major Miles/Germania
Psyren, (Clara) Wrath, (2003 series) and Truth/Hungary and Chibi!America
Sloth (Brotherhood)/Germany
Gluttony/Holy Roman Empire
Father/Turkey
Young Bradley and Ridel (Dominic's son)/Japan
Julia Crichton (Sacred Star of Milos)/Young Japan and Mr. Kumajiro
Dante (Lyra) and May Chang/Belarus and Flying Mint Bunny (I'm guessing on the flying mint bunny though because there's no official role for it, but I'm 99.5% sure it's Monica Rial doing that voice! It sounds just like May!)
Greece: I like cats. *pets cat*
Edward: Uhhh...
Alphonse: Yay! I love kitties! *runs over to Greece and ignores Sealand*
Sealand: What about me? I guess no one likes hanging around me then, not even my own counterpart. *sobs in corner*
Kimblee: *to America and Canada* So, you guys like fireworks?
Petaltail: Say no!
America and Canada: What?
Petaltail: Just say no!
America and Canada: But why?
Petaltail: Do you want this whole place to blow up? My dad and step-mom will kill me! So please just say no!
Canada: Uhh, no?
America: No way man. A hero wouldn't want to let an innocent girl get in trouble for blowing stuff up, but on Canadia's and my own birthday in a few days, totally! You're my new firework guy, 'kay?
Kimblee: *in creepy voice* Oh, you'll be in for a huge surprise, I'll be sure of that.
Petaltail: Alfred! You've doomed us all! I said for you to just say no, not to make future plans! Great, just great. *facepalms*
Scar: *after looking at list* W-w-wait what? I have the same VA as prissypants over here? There's no way! I sound nothing like him!
France: And I'm way too gorgeous to be his counterpart. Are you sure this is no mistake, mademoissele? *caresses Petaltail* If you could make an exce-
Petaltail: *pushes France away* Gyaah! Get away from me you perv! And absolutely no exceptions! Especially not for you! You know what? *snaps*
France: *braces self for disappearment*
Britain: *appears, but in awkward fighting stance position in the middle of doing a battle cry* YAAAAH! Huh? *looks around* Hey, I'm back! And I was about to show that freaky talking ten-legged octopus a demonstration of my fighting skills.
America: Wait. If it has ten legs wouldn't it just be a squid?
Britain: That's what I said, but it refused to be called a squid because it was offensive or whatever. So I just went along with it.
Petaltail: America, Britain! Enough with your nonsense talk. France! Go harass Arthur or something so you can get outta my hair. That's the only reason I brought him back here.
France: Why couldn't you have just sent me there instead?
Petaltail: What? Can't have too many people hanging around in there. Besides, you're too much of a wuss to make it in that place, so this was the best option.
Italy: *raising pasta dish* PASTAA!
Ling: So you like food too?
Italy: Mmm-hmm. I make it all the time whenever I get hungry, especially pasta and pizza! You can have some too!
Ling: I love this guy! I think I'm gonna get along just fine with him.
Petaltail: Well, I'm pretty sure you all can see where the rest of this is going to go. This is gonna be a lot of fun to write, I just know it! Next Chapter: Kimblee meets America and Canada. Then I guess the list will go in order after that.
Edward: Uhh, who's she talking too?
Petaltail: *turns around* My readers, silly! Who else? This is a fanfic, after all! And a cookie for whoever says the magic word first! *waves around a cookie*
America: REVIEW! Give me the cookie!
Petaltail: *gives America cookie* Here ya go, Alfy! *to readers* See ya! Oh, and before I forget! Another cookie for whoever says the disclaimer!
America: *with mouth full* I will!
Petaltail: No! You already got one! Anyone else?
Scar: Fullmetal Alchemist and Hetalia do not belong to Petaltail. Cookie, now.
Petaltail: You like cookies?
Scar: Yes, now give me the cookie now or I'll 'splode your face!
Petaltail: Pushy. *hands Scar cookie*
Scar: *noms on cookie*
Petaltail: Remember fellas, real oneshots start next chappie, so don't report me for using this format because I'm only using it this one time! But maybe I'll use it for the ending of some chapters in an A/N and for the finale when this series is over. (Hopefully not too soon) They also won't be crackfilled like this chapter and will take on numerous genres. Don't forget to review, guys! Anonymous reviews are on, too!