There was once a remarkably average human male. This man had average kids, and an average wife. An average home and an average life. An average house, provided by his average spouse. And average friends who would eventually come to their average end. This all ceased to be once the man's alcohol dependency consumed his life, leading to his family forcing him out of their house, and ending with him getting his head blown off in a saloon on the first planet in the Alcor Formation after trying to start a drunken bar fight with the self-proclaimed hero of our story.
The disheveled Novakid holstered his still smoking Manaticon Duskbringer revolver, looked around, and quietly sat back down and ordered another drink. The jet black Omega placed into where his face should be contrasted greatly against yellow "skin". His short spouts of fire that substituted as hair gently licked the wide brim of his Stetson as he downed his third shot of whiskey which was followed by a fiery belch.
"You really shouldn't be killing those humans after what happened to their home world you know." Said the bartender, who looked as if he really didn't care about the final fate of his patrons, so long as he got his payment for the overpriced drinks he served.
"Oh please, I can kill off as many as I want if the plot calls for it." Replied the wasted bag of gas sitting at the end of the bar.
"I'm gonna ignore what you just said and remind you that your bar tab has now surpassed what it cost me to buy this saloon about thirteen times over, and I doubt you have the money."
"Stop worrying Rick, I'll get you your money."
"First of all my name isn't Rick, second of all you said that last week. And the week before that. And the week before that. I'm getting impatient Osiris, and pretty soon my patience will run out." Said the bartender in a bit of a threatening tone.
"I told you, call me Ossy, and don't you worry your pretty little head off Georgie, you'll get your money and maybe a little more if your feeling lucky." Slurred the Novakid whose blood-alcohol level was now higher than his I.Q.
"Still not my name, but if you keep putting off my payment, I'll have no choice but to sick Nasafia on you." Said the still nameless bartender as he gestured to a heavily secured cage containing a crazed Floran that looked like it had been the subject of several experiments in which the researchers had been torn to bits by their own creation.
"Well, you can't make me pay if you can't catch me!" Slurred Osiris as he stumbled out of his chair and half-assedly and ran into several tables before slamming into a liquor cabinet and passing out as liquids of all types poured over his limp body.
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"Seriously?! He pulled this shit again?!"
"Is it really that surprising anymore? I mean, it happens at least twice a week. You should be used to it by now."
"I know but still, this is not how the captain of a star freighter should act. It's ridiculous and it makes those who actually worked for years for their position as captains look bad."
"Well his actions won't affect you then since you never even came close to being a captain. Why does him being a black-out drunk matter so much to you anyways?"
"Because one day this bag of gas is going to get us all in real trouble and that day may be soon. We all read that note and we know what that... that thing is capable of! Doesn't that make you the least bit worried?"
"Not at all. I have complete confidence that Captain Osiris will solve this problem like he has with all problems before this one. With bullets, booze, and bloodshed."
"WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP SO I CAN SLEEP OFF THIS HANGOVER!?" shouted Osiris as he laid on a medical examination table with nothing on but a hospital robe. The Hylotl doctor and Avian lieutenant jumped back in surprise from the sudden outburst.
"Well, seems like you're awake." Said the ships male Hylotl doctor.
"Unfortunately." mumbled the female Avian lieutenant, rather annoyed at the whole situation.
"And I'd rather not be so it seems like I'll have to use manners this time. Please shut the fuck up so I can sleep off this hangover." Said the Novakid, curling up in an attempt to get in a more comfortable position despite having no blankets or pillows.
"Not gonna happen, now get dressed and meet us at the bridge. And take a shower, you smell like booze." Requested the Avian who had calmed down a bit from a few minutes before.
"Don't act like you don't love that smell on me Tona, I know it gets you hot and bothered."
The Avian grunted and left the room, her aggression reignited from that last comment.
"You know you really shouldn't frustrate her like that. You know how her temper can be." Said the Hylotl, looking a little concerned.
"Eh she'll be fine Noburu, if she's dealt with it this long she can deal with it a little longer." Replied the Novakid as he collected his necessary items for a shower.
"Is that what you said to the whores you tried to pick up at the bar last night?" joked the Hylotl.
"You know it." said Osiris as he high fived Noburu on his way out of the office.