The Remembered Soldiers: Rewrite
A/N: Hello everyone, I have returned with a rewrite of my furthest back write that I haven't deleted, The Remembered Soldiers. I can definitely say that this is much more improved that the last version. So much, that I improved the quality and detail to a point where I'm going far enough to have to break this into three to five parts. At its roots, it will be a much more efficient version of my original write, but I promise that this is far better than the older version from three years ago. Please, tell me your thoughts and I will gladly improve anywhere it may be needed!
-Foxmur-
The Remembered Soldiers: Rewrite
PART ONE
-Marlene-
Today was just as hard to get out of bed as any other before. I was clouded with nightmares about what might've happened to them, and I woke from my slumber several times throughout the freezing silent night. I spent most of my awake time between sleeps pacing back and forth through the cave, once looking out and twice heading back to try and sleep. As far as I'm aware, I'm the only one who's taken this all so painfully. For the last week, it's been numbingly cold and windy. Every other night it would snow, and if it didn't, it was just very foggy and wet out. Sure, there were days where it was sunny, but it seemed that it would shine away from the zoo to symbolize the depressing tone of the world here.
The penguins disappeared about three months ago. The first few days were quite peaceful, and I can say I didn't really notice that they'd vanished, per say. With winter approaching, I wasn't so recurrent with venturing over and greeting them every other morning, but when I did go to say hello, I went without any responses back. I searched inside their home to see if they were playing some game, or if they would have at least gone insane and try to hold me hostage, just to find out why I hadn't come across them within the past few days. I was ashamed to find that the majority of their belongings were still in place, but they were absent, as well as any form of telling us why they weren't around.
Remaining optimistic, I assumed that this was another of their antics where they'd disappeared for some time. Even if it usually wasn't longer than a week, they still would be gone for some time without informing us neighbors of their leave, so I assumed this was another of their classified missions. Perhaps they were chasing after the danish puffin, or that large dolphin or something of the like. I'd even checked to see if Julien knew anything, as he sure made it apparent that he was still around with parties and what not raving every other night, but he had a lack of information, nor had recognized the whereabouts of the penguins. I took another week to kick back, relax and have some fun.
About a week before Halloween, I checked again to see if they'd actually returned and were trying to remain incognito. However, I was shocked to find that nothing had changed since my previous inspection, and they weren't back. The weeks went on and even their shadows were invisible around the zoo. It became serious enough that I'd asked everyone else what might've happened to them. No one had an answer, and agreed that we wanted them to come home. Others were less obvious with their emotions and were convincing to me that I should just give it more time. Eventually, however, I gave up on any search for them and declared them M.I.A.
I'd even checked to see if they'd maybe been reassigned elsewhere, or that they got transfered to another zoo. It amazed me to see that, at first, Alice wasn't concerned with their disappearance, but eventually showed up less. Finally, she quit, and I haven't seen her since the middle of November. As well, several of their nemesis' arrived, including the aforementioned and other shady characters. Some lost complete interest when they discovered that their rivals were to no appearance. Others converted and tried to help us find them. A short few tried to continue with their antics, finding it easier without the penguins to have to fight though, but lost any encouragement when we gave up so effortlessly to them, too.
Now, those villains either no longer visit this area, or they've temporarily quit their lives to find the four penguins or, at a lack of better words, make peace with us for the past. With them gone, it was surprisingly easier to find forgiveness for them, but I think that's mainly because I felt that, with their help, we might've been able to finally find them. After about six weeks is when searches usually get called off, and everyone finally gave up when the new year passed a couple days ago. I'm still searching, even if I have declared them M.I.A, but I don't have far to go when my inner beast has reemerged within these months. At least it only escapes like before whenever I exited the zoo.
Today, Julien, Maurice and I are taking one last mournful visit to their gravesite. Along with us, the humans took a moderate notice to their disappearance. At first, it was minor chit-chat among them where kids would ask their parents where the penguins were. The obvious assumption was that they were kept inside, which already was a confusing assumption with it being cold on the outside. The zookeepers, wanting to keep things quiet, made that the popular answer and went behind the scenes to scour New York City for clues on where they might've gone. Their search was much shorter than ours, and they called it off after about ten days.
They had plans to replace them with four new penguins, but it was too apparent that their specific breed was too extinct, and they couldn't even get one of their kind. They even planned to get four typical penguins, but it was too obvious that it just wouldn't be the same. Although most visitors were foreign tourists, it could be assumed that everyone would know that it wouldn't be anywhere near as admirable as it once was before. The very center and focusing habitat of the zoo has been empty for these three months, and that's caused a major deduction in the number of people who've decided to come. I'd care more that they don't appreciate everyone else here, but I'm too upset about the penguins myself. Besides, they did the same thing with another four animals once, apparently.
The only further action that the humans took involving the penguins was constructing a monument of remembrance for them. They never publicly acknowledged that the penguins had escaped somehow, but they made the bronze figurine of Private, as close as you could designate it, shortly before Christmas and wished best memorials for those that we have lost. To the humans, it seemed more like a place to remember past zookeepers or casual workers that have passed away, but I would guess that it's not just convenience that they made it a penguin of all animals.
Said monument is where Julien, Maurice and I have met today to say our final goodbyes. We've been standing here in the freezing weather for about fifteen or so minutes without mentioning a word. We already made plans to come, but this morning it seemed as though it was a chore to come here other than a final honor to make. It's made me so weak and sad that I have no interest other than to lie around in bed throughout the day. It's not much, but I can definitely tell that I've gained a few pounds from alternating periods of eating too much, and not eating enough.
"Do you think they'll ever come back?" Maurice outputs. I sigh as a response as I overlook the display for the upteenth time. Until now, I was able to hold back any of my tears, but now that I have to talk about it and present more guesses, it's hard to control my emotions. I'm not embarrassed to admit I've been the most vocal about my sadness from it.
"I hope so" I eventually respond to him. Julien hugs my side and I lean into him. The main reason why I'm so sad about it should be obvious; they were my greatest friends that I've ever had! I prefer not to talk about it, but I'd have never imagined having such interesting pals three or so years back. Even if Skipper may not have been first to admit we were pals, I feel that I fit into their group and became one of them.
"I am knowing that they were being your best friends, Marlene; I am understanding why you are to be crying. But, you must not be losing hope! There is still being time to finding them, and they must being somewhere that we have not been to looking just yet" Julien tells. I sigh and hug onto his side. Maurice looks to me and has a weak smile across his muzzle.
"King Julien is right, y'know. You never know if they'll finally come back." I shake my head in sadness as I look to the ground.
"If they'd have wanted to come back, I'm sure they would've come back by now. What if they're dead? What if Blowhole or one of the other villains is lying to us and actually has them imprisoned somewhere for the rest of their lives? What if-" I sigh and shake my head again.
"No. No, no they have to be out there. Somewhere.." I pause. "..and even if they're dead, we'll eventually come across their remains somehow and maybe even figure out how they died. I just don't understand why this happened, and how it could've gone by in such a blinding flash." Tears fall from my eyes and I hold onto Julien as he moves his paw along my side and hold me close. I try to remain positive and hope for the best, but I don't think I can lie to myself anymore.
Julien moves his paw to my back and caresses me smoothly. After another moment passes, I mutter out through sobs. "I just wish we could find them."
Maurice comes to my front and moves his paws to my neck to readjust my scarf. He's had to do that for the last few days, and he has a tired smile on him. Either Julien's been working him hard, or he's been taking this to heart, too. "You shouldn't cry, girl. I'm sure they'll be back when we least expect it. If not, we'll find out how, and I promise you that."
I wipe my eyes as I pull away from Julien's hug and murmur to myself. "If only you knew that."
He goes back to the other side of Julien paying my words no mind as his gaze returns to the statue. I ask, "Do we know how long they've really been gone?"
Maurice responds. "Since early October."
It's January now. I don't understand how someone can be missing without any trace for three months straight. DNA scanners, footprints, metal detectors and even hidden information that may have helped us didn't help or was nonexistent. It was almost as if any hair was erased, any important document of Skipper's or invention of Kowalski's was taken, and they didn't even say goodbye. It's just too strange to believe that they'd have left on their own terms, because I'd have at least expected Private to try and sneak to us and say goodbye before being forced away.
Even if they are top secret with their actions and past, I'm sure they wouldn't have completely abandoned us in such an array. As well, if someone like Blowhole had actually gone back on his word and actually had them captive, I'm almost certain that he'd have gloated his accomplishment to us and try to dissuade us from the fact that they were missing. He'd go through all efforts to have one of us try and rescue them, even! Adding onto that, their villainous allegiance would've probably come and taken over the zoo had this actually happened. But, like I said, no one has caused any sort of trouble here. This isn't anyone's game. It's just a mystery.
"Marlene, it is being cold out; you are shivering." I shake back into focus as I feel the snow falling onto my fur, followed by my own paws clutching my sides for warmth as I shake and crackle my teeth. I knew it was cold out, but I didn't expect it to snow yet again. It must be the strange January weather of New York, as compared to the normal, sunny and clear year-round cycle in Sacramento. I look up to him and Maurice with a nod.
"You're right. I think we've paid our respects." Without another word, we turn and head to the lemur habitat and into the sealed volcano that Julien temporarily uses as a house, at least, until the humans decide to build him something like what I have; which, in my mind, I don't expect to see happening any time soon. Maybe it's just the weather as the reason why there haven't been many guests to the zoo lately. There were plenty of people around Manhattan when the ball dropped for the new year, but that was over in Times Square, instead of around here in Central Park. Regardless, I can't say I've really payed attention to their presence, as all I've really cared about is the penguin's arrival than the the number of humans'. There's billions of humans, but there's only one Kowalski, Private, Rico and Skipper.
We get inside pretty quickly since I was freezing my tail off from walking in that chilly weather. Maybe I should dress more like the humans so I don't have a risk of dying every time I go outside. I look around the room and it's as red, warm and soothing as it's been for the last few weeks, as well as including several candles lighting up the room for us. It's already toasty enough that you could easily believe that there's a fireplace somewhere around here. Maurice stands by one of the air vents to heat up as Julien puts his arm around my head. "Please, Marlene, be sitting down; I wish to speak with you."
I give him a short nod as he guides me to the couch that once was in the penguin's base, now sitting inside Julien's home. I'd care if I believed the penguins would eventually return but, after losing my hope, I figured we might as well make use of what they had lying around down there. I lay back into the cushions. While they are comfy, they aren't warm or cozy enough to bring a minute number of a smile back to my heart. Julien sits beside me and pulls me close to him again, making my head rest on his shoulder as his arm goes up and down my back again. He's warm. He was the one who brought up the freezing temperature outside, yet it seems like he's been in a sauna.
After about a minute, I look up to see that Maurice has gone to warm up some tea that he made earlier, using several of the culinary equipment that the penguins had left behind as well. I sigh to myself as I return my gaze to my feet. I know that they're really trying to make me feel better. It's definitely not easy, especially since they've changed their everyday actions from the penguin's disappearance as well. It's nowhere near as drastic as mine, but it was easy to tell when Julien's parties became fewer and fewer in number as weeks went by. Julien especially has taken this as his opportunity to try and get close to me, but he's already explained to me in as great detail as I can assume that he and Maurice genuinely care about my happiness, and they just want me to feel better.
It's just not that easy, though. With their help, sure, I've been able to smile every now and then, but I can't hold back the everly depressing nightmares that haunt me day in and day out when I don't have them with me. Without them around, I start losing my sanity and I have no choice but to cry for hours until I eventually pass out in the middle of the night. I used to wake up bright and early around six in the morning, but now it can go as late as noon, assuming I get a full eight or so hours in. Julien pulls me closer and speaks gently.
"Marlene" He pauses. I breathe slowly as he continues. "I am knowing that they are being out there somewhere."
I sigh as I close my eyes and whisper tiredly back to him. "I know, Julien. I just wish we knew where."
He moves his paw up to the back of my head and moves his fingers softly through my head fur. I see a small smile crack across his lips as he responds. "I am wishing that as well. No matter how many times the flightless birds and I were to be battling one another, I am missing them too, and I will always calling them wonderful friends."
I shrug with a small smile coming to me. I don't think the same would've been said from Skipper's perspective about Julien, but I appreciate that, despite any rivalry between the two, he still has the audacity to call them his close friends. I look up again and see Maurice standing before me with the mug of the tea he was warming up. I lengthen my smile a little longer as I nod and take it from him. "Thank you."
He nods back with a casual smile. "Sure thing. Just let that sit for a couple of minutes, okay? It's hot. You don't wanna burn yourself." I nod back as I set it down on an end table to my side as he goes back to warm another of the drink, probably for Julien. I look back down to my feet and Julien brings his paw back behind me and continues caressing me.
"A lot has changed since they've disappeared" I speak. He nods to me and I continue.
"Less humans are visiting the zoo, everyone seems to be less communicative than ever, Alice quit, and it seems like the zoo could go bankrupt one of these days; not to mention that every single one of their enemies has made a return here." He pats my back and chuckles.
"I am not knowing about all of that, Marlene. I am thinking that everyone is starting to getting along better lately. I am thinking that everyone is starting to accept that this has happened, and maybe you are being the one that is still suffering with the loss." I look up to him with a frown.
"What do you expect me to do, Julien? Pretend they never existed and smile my way through everything that brings back memories? I can't do that like you and everyone else can, Julien. I know, it seems like peace has finally been brought between everyone who's ever been here, but is it really worth the cost of losing four wonderful friends?" He sighs and looks to me with sadder, guiltier eyes.
"No. You are to be recovering at your own rate as everyone should, Marlene. I understanding that it has been most hard on you, and you should not feel that you have to change just because everyone else has. You were obviously being the closest to them, so you deserve, if anything, the most of time than anyone else can be getting." I sigh and sink my head into my paws.
"I just can't think straight, Julien. I'm so terrified that they're just always going to be, well, gone.." Maurice comes back over with another warm mug and Julien takes it to then set it down on the other end table to, as I did with mine, let it cool down. I assume I can drink from mine and I go ahead and take it to drink. It's warm. I've tasted better tea from inside the convenience stand, but it's nice to have something relatively homemade for once. After taking down a couple of sips, I look into the tea and see what looks like Skipper's face. I gasp in surprise and quickly set it back to the side and grab onto my head.
Like I said, Skipper never was easy to admit that you were both on his good side, and especially that you were his friend. But, he was probably my best friend. Some would guess that I liked him beyond that. But, it was, for the most part, just me considering him a very close friend that I could talk to about any of my problems and he would, for the most part, listen. I found laughs with him. The only difference between him and Julien is that, with Julien, I can talk to him about even more because I'm not nervous that whatever I say is getting recorded on some secret tape that could've been stashed away in top secret files.
I sigh as tears start falling from my eyes again, and I whisper to Julien. "I don't want to lose anyone else."
He quickly grabs my side and pulls me tight to him, and follows that with a little chuckle. "You will not be losing us, Marlene!"
Maurice comes back over and nods to Julien's answer. "Yeah, Marlene. We wouldn't leave you, especially in a time like this!"
I again sigh and shake my head. "I know you two, but I don't mean like that. I mean..what if one of you gets taken? What if there's some killer who's taking us out one by one and he started with the penguins, and is waiting for us to move on so we'll least expect it? What if-?!"
Julien puts his paw over my mouth and shakes his head back to me with a smile. "Do not thinking like that, Marlene. It is being silly. I am understanding that this is being a very scary time, but that is being a little excessive."
Tears continue to rain down my face. "Excessive?!.."
I sob and try to continue with some response, but Julien continues to smile and massage my sides. I give up and just lay into his lap. Several minutes pass where they remain silent and I clutter the room with my sad moans. They're right. I am getting too far with my assumptions and fears, but I can't help myself! It was much harder around Christmas, though. I had one last hope that they might finally come back as a sort of Christmas surprise, or maybe Santa Claus would come down and tell us their whereabouts or bring them home to us. I even made them presents that would've at least made them thank me for my work. But, I was again met with no successive goal, and they yet again didn't return.
I don't even need to tell you the result of New Years, either. I again guessed that they might pop in out of nowhere right as the clock hit midnight, but you can easily figure out what the result of that night was, considering we're still mourning their absence now. I eventually look up to Julien and he puts his paws to my neck and looks in my eyes as he pulls me back up. "Are you being tired, Marlene? Would you liking to rest for some time to relaxing from this?"
I sigh as I wipe away my tears and try to relax. "I guess some sleep would probably help. I kept tossing and turning last night, like usual. If I did finally fall asleep, I kept reliving this dream that they were suffering and we'd never find them. That they were undergoing horrible things I'd never wish among my worst of enemies. Hot to cold, hot to cold, it was freezing when I tried to sleep, and I was on fire when I woke up. I-"
Julien covers my mouth again, this time with one finger, and smiles to me. "I am getting it, Marlene. You may sleeping as long as you are to be liking."
I nod slowly with a few more tears still shedding from my eyes as the two lift me up and walk me over to a bed that, surprisingly, didn't come from the penguin's base. I've been meaning to ask Julien where he and Maurice even acquired it, but I don't think it's very important at a time like now. Maurice lifts up the velvety red blanket with a white and flowy trim on it as Julien slowly lays me back into a previously fluffed pillow. I close my eyes as they start pushing and stretching the blanket around and under me, and already I feel warmer and like I can sleep.
After a moment, I could feel Julien's paw again caressing the back of my head as I heard Maurice start blowing some of the litten candles of the room out. Julien whispers softly to me. "Be getting some rest, Marlene. When you waking, I will being nearby and will having Maurice making you something for dinner. I promising that things will getting better soon, and I will doing what I can to making you happy. Goodnight, okaying? Sleeping well."
I hear him get up and stroke my leg before finally leaving out the door. It's very sweet of him to try to make me feel better, but a part of me still wants to believe that he's, even a little bit, trying to win my heart over through this. Regardless, I don't want to worry about it because all that really matters right now is trying to move on from the past. I don't think it'll be very easy, but I don't really have a choice now, do I? Sometimes, I just want to sob for hours on end because no one will let me, mainly because I think that I need to get more and more of it out. I feel that I need to bleed every last tear from my eyes before I can really start working to accept what are facts.
Even if I've spent most of my time with Julien and Maurice throughout these tragic few months, I've tried to stay in contact with the other residents of the zoo and remain friends with them, too. I am right that we don't talk as much as we once might've, but Julien's right, too, that I was able to get along with them better than before. Even if most of the talk was about the penguins, we all would laugh and even cry a little together about the memories because, I think inside, we all really, really miss them. I try to believe in the theory that, if I mourn or think about them enough to break myself apart, they'll eventually come back. I need help, I'm sure.
Regardless, I can only really count on the positive attitudes that most everyone is giving. Either I can get upset that they don't give more credit to the penguins, get paranoid that they're all robots and are covering up a plan about them maybe being held captive somewhere, or I can just accept that it really is time to move on and find joy again. Would it be strange if I thought that Skipper might finally return Valentine's Day, even? Even if I'd say no, I'd still hug him and the others to pieces and cry because I'd be so glad they'd have finally returned.
I should probably just give up. I'm losing sight of who I really am anymore. Friends come and go, and now is about the time to stick to what I said and actually make today the last mourning day. I just miss them so much, even still. It hurts me so much. I just want them to come home. Please don't be gone forever. Even if you guys will always be in my heart or if you're invisible figures beside me, I need you physically! Please come back. I can't take this anymore.
-FIN PART ONE-