Heaven seemed so different after just one trip down to Earth; now Castiel found himself comparing the two places, and, despite himself, he couldn't help feeling drawn back to Earth. It was a whole new land, granted full of violence, rebellion and bad people, but that wasn't very different to Heaven, contrary to popular belief. But Earth was also home to an intriguing idea: 'free will'. Castiel hardly dared consider the blasphemous thought, and yet he realised it was on his mind most of each day.
He had spent so long hating humans, hardly thinking of them as he carried on his duties without question. But now he had discovered they were interesting and so naïve, though they would most likely say the same thing about him. He wasn't inept at social interaction in Heaven, let alone on Earth. And yet he still kept coming back for more. They weren't the 'mindless mud monkeys' as Uriel and most of the other angels called them, a name Castiel had always refused to use, even if he had never before held a soft spot for humans in his heart.
And then there was the Winchesters. They were something else entirely. Castiel had come down to Earth expecting Samuel to be a ravenous, dangerous man. But he had discovered that, for someone with so much darkness surrounding him, there was far more good in the boy's soul. He was always far more respectful of Castiel, whereas Dean… Well, Castiel didn't know how to describe Dean. Dean was…
"Spit it out, Cassie," Balthazar chuckled, grinning up at the other angel crookedly from where he was seated as Castiel paced back and forth, hands clasped behind his back and wings twitching as he thought, feathers ruffled when they were usually so well groomed.
Castiel blinked, stopping in front of Balthazar and letting out a small sigh. Then he was pacing again. "Dean Winchester is infuriating!" he exclaimed, deep, gravelly voice louder than it usually was, "Insolent, arrogant and… Well, at this moment, words seem to have failed me, but I suppose you get the idea."
"Wow, tell us how you really feel," Balthazar's grin widened, seeming to enjoy hearing Castiel rant – such a rare thing, "He must be quite something if words have failed you, Cas."
Frowning, Castiel once again ceased his agitated pacing, back turned to his friend. "Dean calls me that, too," he murmured, and he felt a strange… something as that particular memory replayed perfectly in his mind.
As soon as Zachariah had informed him he would be a part of the few angels to attempt to sneak past Hell's defences and raise Dean Winchester from perdition, Castiel had immediately gone to tell Balthazar the news, who was often excluded from meetings. He remembered being excited, but also wary of having anything to do with it. But he was a soldier, and that had been a direct order. But Balthazar had seen it as anything but good, arguing it could be life-threatening for him. Balthazar had always been protective of Castiel, most likely as they were really each other's only friends.
The first time Castiel had encountered Dean, he had once again gone back to tell Balthazar everything that had happened (of course, he had left out the part about him accidentally forgetting to flap his wings, landing heavily on the barn's roof, rolling off and walking in like nothing had happened). And, after that, it had become a sort of tradition, Castiel recounting everything that had happened after each time he talked to Dean or Sam. He would have spoken about it to Uriel, but, although he was his friend, Castiel knew he would only judge him.
Balthazar laughed lightly, and Castiel turned his head slightly so he could just see him out of his peripheral vision. "If I didn't know any better, I would think you had a crush on the guy."
"A crush?" Castiel's frown deepened, watching his friend curiously with his head tilted slightly to the side, "I don't understand. I have not tried to crush him."
Balthazar rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair, "I know you're all work and no play, Cas, but surely you've heard the expre—" He cut himself off, clearing his throat, "No, actually, since you're you, you probably haven't. A romantic crush. To my expert ears, it sounds like you've developed feelings for Dean Winchester."
"What?" Castiel demanded incredulously and felt his wings beginning to extend over his head intimidatingly at the ridiculous accusation, "Uriel and I are on Earth to watch Sam, convince Dean to agree to Michael and guard him, and search for Anael so she can be executed. My personal feelings have nothing to do with anything."
The other angel raised his hands over his head in what the humans used to indicate mock submission, and Castiel felt a brief flash of surprise that he knew that.