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Author's note: Ok, here is my first Ani/Ami song-fic. That being said, this piece is definitely angst, as it deals with Amidala leaving Anakin (yeah, I know it's been written a dozen times, here's my take on it).
Also, apologies to Skywalker Child, she wrote an earlier Ani/Ami story using the song. Before I wrote mine, I did a title search to see if it had been done, but nothing came up, and so I thought it hadn't been done. Turns out she just gave it a different title. So sorry for that Skywalker Child, I hadn't read yours until you reviewed this one. Interesting enough, I did find another SW story with the "If Your Gone," title once I had uploaded mine. I don't know why it didn't show up when I did the title search, but it didn't (computer glitch)? It is a Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon (non-slash) piece, but not really a song fic... more of an extrapolation from the ideas of the song. In retrospect, I'm really not surprised others were as inspired by the song as I was. :)
Dedication: To Jo-san. Thanks for your help in one detail of this story,
and for helping me out with the stories I've written in the past or am
currently writing. I also dedicate this to my awesome mother, who is not
only giving me a trip to Europe (it'll be my first!) in May, but also a
discman and a car adapter kit for my Christmas present. Love ya mom, you're
the greatest. ^_^
If You're Gone
by Bria
Wednesday, December 27, 2000
The royal doctor looked at his chart, then gave his diagnosis to the Queen. "Congratulations Queen Amidala, you're pregnant.
Padmé looked back at the doctor in shock. "I'm going to have a baby?"
The doctor smiled at the Queen. "Yes. You'll have quite the surprise for your husband this evening."
Padmé's left hand went to her abdomen unconsciously. "Yes, he
will be surprised..." she said, almost in disbelief. If I tell him, she
thought to herself gravely.
I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone.
I think I'm finally scared now
You think I'm weak - But I think you're wrong
I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure
Padmé forced herself to relax as she waited in her apartment for Anakin to return. Their marriage had been having problems. She had to admit that now. She had tried to get him to talk before, but he always abruptly changed the subject. Padmé had hoped that Anakin would realize he was walking a thin line and come to his senses. But the problems had just been getting worse.
Now Padmé carried Ani's child in her womb. A child that had an extreme potential to be strong in the Force. Had things been normal, she would've been thrilled to find out she was pregnant. But what if Anakin was turning to the Dark Side? Obi-Wan had begun suspect it, after the numerous outburst that had occurred between himself and Anakin. If Obi-Wan was right, the child could be a tool for Anakin... Her jaw clenched. Never, I won't allow it, she thought to herself.
Padmé looked up from where she had been sitting when Anakin stormed
in the door. "Stupid teacher," she heard him mutter. Not a good sign,
she thought, but I must do this now... for myself, and for our child...
"Anakin, we need to talk..."
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing
Anakin glared at her slightly. "Not right now."
Padmé looked at him, her eyes showing grim determination. He would not change the subject this time. "What happened?"
Anakin snickered. "It's Obi-Wan again. The man is a fool. There is a lot of training I haven't yet received, and he refuses to let me advance to that level."
Padmé put her hand on Anakin's shoulder. "I'm sure he has his reasons."
Anakin shook his head. "Obi-Wan says the council has forbidden him to teach me what I want to learn. The council is made up of fools. Many of them believe me to be the Chosen One, and yet they deny me further teachings."
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
Padmé took a deep breath. This was the opening she'd been looking for. "Anakin, I think I understand their reasoning, and I must confess, I've wondered myself..."
Anakin stared at Padmé , shocked. "What?"
Padmé turned so that she was looking at him eye to eye. "I feel as if I'm loosing you Anakin. These past months, you've begun to change. You get angry so easily. It's as if there is a darkness that is taking over you."
I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind
Anakin shook his head. "You don't know what you're talking about."
Padmé frowned. "Yes, I do. I may not be a Jedi, but I know you
Anakin. Or at least I did. The council is right. You are headed for danger.
You're almost never around, and when you are, you're irritable and ready
to pick a fight. What has happened? Tell me Anakin, what's happened to
you?"
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem
I'm feeling
Anakin sighed. He wanted to lie and deny it, but he knew Padmé would see right through his lie. "I've found a new teacher. Someone who isn't afraid to teach me."
Padmé gasped, "You what?" Even through Anakin and Obi-Wan's numerous disagreements, especially as of late, she never would've believed Anakin would look for another teacher.
Anakin stood up. "You heard me."
Padmé couldn't stop the tears that sprung to her eyes. "Then it's true, I have lost my husband. I've lost Anakin Skywalker. You're already gone."
Anakin placed his hands on her shoulders and shook her. "I haven't gone
anywhere. I'm still Anakin Skywalker," he shouted at her.
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
Padmé stepped away from Anakin. "No you're not. The Anakin Skywalker I first met was a child filled with love. The Anakin Skywalker I fell in love with and married was filled with love and a desire to be a guardian of justice and to help keep peace in the galaxy. You're a man filled with anger and a need for power, no matter the cost. Even if it destroys our marriage."
Anakin raised his eyebrows at her.
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much
I know it's wrong it's a problem I'm dealing
Padmé nodded. "That's right. I had hoped that if we talked, you would see the errors of your ways. I had hoped you'd tell me that I still meant something to you, and you'd return home to me, as the husband I had married. I now see that that will not happen. Therefore, I must leave you. Good-bye Anakin."
Padmé went out the door and didn't look back. She had given the Anakin opportunity to end the destructive path he was headed down. Had he, and been sincere about it, she would've told him about their baby. However, upon his refusal, she had to think about the safety of their child. She had to protect him or her from Anakin, at all costs.
THE END
Yeah, I know she left a bit quickly, but the way I figure it, once it was clear Anakin was gone, she had to leave, or risk the chance of him finding out that Padme was pregnant. Also, she probably wouldn't have known she was having twins from the get-go.
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